Basking in the glow of male energy

Basking in the glow of male energy

The book King, Warrior, Magician, Lover: Rediscovering the Archetypes of the Mature Masculine explores the archetypes of the mature masculine. Men who act out, have temper tantrums or are violent – jerks, bullies, know-it-alls and thugs – haven’t reached their full potential.

Men aren’t allowed to fully mature in our society. There is no rite of passage. The spoiled little princes of the world have work to do if they aspire to be superior men – if they want to be King.

The author Robert Moore is a psychologist in Chicago, IL. You can read more about his theories and discoveries here.

So how do you become King? Here is the book that perfectly mirrors our relationship dynamic: The Way of the Superior Man by David Deida. I underlined the shit out of this book. There’s no way I can feature all the awesome points, so please get a copy for yourself if you’re interested in tapping in to what makes our relationship so explosively orgasmic and fulfilling.

My partner Matthew hasn’t read the book, but that’s ok – he’s living it.

Here’s the premise. In order to have a passionate relationship with someone, you need to adopt a feminine and masculine contrast. It doesn’t matter who possesses the masculine or feminine – you can be a masculine female/feminine male couple, or a masculine female/feminine female couple, etc. The author maintains that 80% of people lean one way or the other – they either want to be ravished or do the ravishing.

For the most part, Matthew does the ravishing and I greatly enjoy it, I soak it up like a slutty sponge. But every once in a while, we’ll turn the tables and I’ll ravish HIM, which is just as fun and exciting. If neither of us assumed the ravishing mode, things would be more even keel. And boring.

That’s what happens in so many relationships – after the thrill of new relationship energy dies down, we get lazy and slip out of Lover role and become Managers, Caregivers, and Roommates. Then we take our partner for granted and lose respect for them and the sex turns lukewarm and resentment sets in.

So many men complain to me about how their wife doesn’t want to have sex with them, which makes him feel hurt and rejected. The reason the wife is cold to him is because she doesn’t respect him. The reason she doesn’t respect him is because he has let her down.

David acknowledges that most men want to have sex with other women, even if they are in a sexually fulfilling relationship. He advises, “If you want to be with other women, make sure you are taking care of the woman you have.”

Check his stuff out on YouTube – here is an example:

This is one of the books I recommend most. Click here to view my list of Top Sex-Positive Recommendations.

Bonus link: The Art of Manliness


EvanderS 2011-06-13 21:55:26

Inner Game.

After practicing as a Master with a slave for 5 years… the relationship restructured into more of a vanilla relationship with kinky undertones. We were sad about losing that part of our relationship so we joined a self development group that practiced the ideals of The Way of the Superior Man.

It’s a good book… and it has a lot to say about why Master/slave relationships work. M/s practitioners are very good at building polarity and playing with masculine/feminine roles, exploiting fantasies and playing with the dark side.

But for regular people… it seems to go over their heads. Also… if you look critically at the book… it’s a bit basic. There aren’t any well written BDSM books out there… but if there were… it would have a lot more to say about sexuality than David Deida. Personally I think David did a little swinging and some BDSM… then learned a bit of Tantra and Yoga… then wrote waxing poetic about the fundamentals of BDSM. People don’t often think of BDSM as a Discipline.

Anyhow… Deida is weak in the seduction department. I like a lot of what the seduction community is bringing to the table (the mature side of the seduction community) because they get a lot more into personality traits that are attractive to the opposite sex.

Anyways… then I got into Human Design (which is a horoscope based program that made me forget that I hate horoscope people) and began to study about energy lines, chakra’s, and personal profiles, destiny, personality types.

Long story short… I haven’t been able to rekindle my love affair with my wife and have the hot sex we had before we moved in with one another. I think it has a lot to do with kids and moving away from the maiden to mother roles… it’s just the way nature is. I’m still trying to find a way.

Book Review: Good book in context. It doesn’t have all the answers but it has some important pieces of the puzzle. Promotes living consciously and with integrity while allowing women to be flow, promoting masculine consciousness… and promoting mutual respect.


WD 2013-06-17 19:07:07

I’m very familiar with the archetypes–and this book by Moore, in particular. ManKind Project (MKP)
uses these to bring a man into awareness, to own his own shit and speak his truth. Men have deep feelings and emotions and are commonly disconnected from them and push them down into their shadows. A lot of gold is discovered when these shadows are pulled aside in discovery. MKP runs weekend “initiation” sessions where men do work to find their mission and acquire processes to continue the work that is just beginning from these weekend workshops. They are given all over the US, and in Europe, Australia, etc.

I found a path back to sexual intimacy after attending, as that was my disconnect in the world–every man’s work and discoveries are their own. Right now I am working on an outline for a seminar for men who have had prostate surgery and found there is little or no help from insurance companies (suprise!) and even your physician in gaining back sexual power and capability. I have worked through powerful women surrogates and know a Goddess when I see one. You are all that, Kendra. If men are interested in what I said, here, could you pass along their messages and contact info privately to my email? With Gratitude, WD


Dan 2014-07-31 14:34:39

Yes, 20 years in the men’s movement, these are the books we use as guys, to become better men.

One way I’m making progress of late being a superior man: I just tell my wife of 7 years when I want it. “Dear, I’ve been increasingly horny for you the last two days. I need some naked time with you tonight. Let’s skip the movie and BE the movie. It will be good for both of us. I’ll make dinner while you shower and get ready. Now go pick some toys you want me to use on you. If we get done early we can still do the movie and popcorn thing.”

Less whining, more doing.


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