By Kendra Holliday | July 6, 2020
I get about 2-3 inquiries a week asking about play parties – when is my next one, if I know of any coming up, etc.
You all are brave to want to experience orgies in the middle of a country that is being torn asunder by a highly contagious pandemic! Masks off to you, my freaky friends!
Meanwhile, I’m over here sitting in pandemic limbo, trying my best to wait this crisis out. Events are on hold; I don’t even feel comfortable scheduling one-on-one intimacy sessions. ;(
That said, I have friends in St. Louis who are optimistically planning their own play party this October. They want it to be bi-male/trans friendly. They asked me for advice on how to host a successful play party.
First, you should review my party page – it has loads of good info, FAQ, and guidance.
Second, here is a checklist of things to keep in mind:
- Location. Hopefully, you live in house that is conducive for parties. I don’t – I live in a 1000 sq ft fairy cottage that can only host threesomes, foursomes, and the occasional gang bang. You want a classy, clean space that offers several stations for playtime. I’ve rented houses in the past, but that can be risky. My best bet has been a community member offering to host.
- Accessibility. Is your space accessible? I’m sorry to say I haven’t always considered this in the past. Regardless, you should state if it is or not.
- Allergies. State if any pets live at the location.
- Parking. How many people do you want to attend? 12? 50? 100? Make sure you include parking instructions in your party confirmation email.
- Screening. Do you have a sex-positive network? I keep an email party list that has about 600 people on it. Every time I schedule a party, I send out a bcc email to the list and keep track of who responds. I try and curate a good mix of people.
- Budget. Lots of supplies go into a party, so think about how much you want to charge for overhead. $50/person? If everyone pitches in, these nights can be unforgettable!
- Do you want to have it catered? I always check with Shameless Grounds first for catering.
- Drinks. Do you want wine and beer only? BYOB? Have ice and mixers on hand.
- Other drugs. If you don’t specify in your rules, people will take liberties.
- Privacy. Speaking of rules, most people attending play parties like to keep it private, so make sure and acknowledge confidentiality.
- Mood music. Hire a DJ or think about playlists/stereo setup.
- Good lighting. Adjustable, ambient lighting is nice. Most people like it dim. Real candles can be dangerous, so I use safe fake candles, light machines, lamps…
- Safer sex supplies. Be sure and have condoms and lube handy at every station. Other good items to have on hand are towels, sanitizer, mints, small trash cans, well-stocked bathrooms…
- Enough play stations. Do you have several beds? A massage table? A SYBIAN? Do you want to add an air mattress or two? Will this be a kinky party with spanking benches and crosses? Consider putting sheets on couches for easy cleanup.
- Theme? I LOOOVE party themes, but I try and make them reasonable for most people.
- Gender ratio. If you don’t carefully screen, you can easily end up with 40 single men attending. If your party goers love lots of female energy, consider allowing women to attend at a discount, or free if they volunteer to mingle with guests for a certain amount of time.
- Volunteers. Speaking of volunteers, enlist a few friends to help you set up, host, clean up.
- Icebreakers. People often arrive nervous, so think of icebreaker games or a demo to kick things off after people have had a chance to socialize for a couple hours. One time, we did a pussy parade, where every woman who wanted to could line up on a couch and show off their pussies. We had eight beautiful pussies lined up, and the guests slowly walked past to savor the view!
Here’s an example of the email I send out to potential guests, you can borrow language from it:
Hello, my wet ‘n wild friends.
Are you ready for the next TBK Play Party?
The date is Sat October xx, from 7pm until things start to wind down after midnight. Location is a private home in West County. First floor is wheelchair-accessible, but there are stairs leading to the finished basement “dungeon.”
The theme is “Under the Sea.”
What does that mean?
You can be as elaborate as a mermaid, Poseidon, King Neptune, or just wear ocean colors such as blue or green. Let it flow!
Space is limited to 40 people. This party will be screened so that it is gender balanced. $50/person, with an option available for two single men to attend at a sponsorship level of $200/each. When you reply, don’t forget to include a pic or info about yourself to remind me of who you are if we aren’t well acquainted – it will save a lot of back and forth. Guest list closes on Oct x, so that should give you plenty of time to RSVP and send payment.
Once you have been approved, you can send me payment via (list payment options). When payment has been received, you will be put on the confirmed guest list.
Catering by Shameless Grounds! BYOB – mixers and ice will be provided.
Be aware this beautiful home will be clean, but dogs do live here, and will be crated that night. Shoes are permitted in the house. Smoking is permitted on back deck. 420 friendly.
TBK parties are not just swinger parties – they embrace sexual creativity and all sexy, consensual alternative lifestyles. Kink and bi-friendly! After the last party in July, I heard from several couples that they found great connections and ongoing friendships!
Condoms, lube, and sexy spaces and props will be provided, as well as light sweet and savory appetizers.
TBK play party rules and etiquette: Everything is on your own terms and consensual. People are friendly and nice, so please introduce yourself to others, and ask permission to touch/play. Be aware of personal space and boundaries. Feel free to say, “no, thank you.” Guests are mature, respectful, gracious, and fun-loving. We have nervous and excited newbies – please make them feel welcome! TBK parties tend to have really good, sex-positive energy.
You can expect the first hour or two to be like a regular party where people meet and mingle. After that, you’ll see some super sexy action and demos going down (does anyone want to volunteer for a squirting demo?), but you don’t have to play if you don’t want to, or you can just play with your partner, or do whatever feels right to you. There will be spaces for public play, as well as some privacy. BDSM, bisexuality, and other forms of creative sexuality is encouraged! Feel free to bring toys. Respect guest privacy and confidentiality – NO photography or video.
Any questions? Please scroll down the Party page for FAQ.
Ask me anything that’s not there!
Let’s get wet!
Here is the email I send out to confirmed guests, again you can borrow language from it:
Hello TBK Fabulous Friends!
Are you ready to make a splash? Saturday party address: xxx St Louis 631xx
PARKING: From the hosts: “We want to be good neighbors and not block the street! They are welcome to park in driveway (we can fit a total of 8 cars) and also there is plenty of parking across the street on the east side of X Street.”
Sat Oct x, from 7pm until things start to wind down after midnight. Once again, we have a full house!
Try to arrive before 9pm, as that gives you a chance to mingle and acclimate. If it turns out you cannot attend, please email or text me. If you have any issues, please text me & I’ll do my best to watch my phone until 9pm or so: 314-xxx-xxxx
BYOB – mixers and ice will be provided. Pace yourself and drink responsibly. Catering by Shameless Grounds!
The theme is “Under the Sea.” Dress in blues, greens, ocean, water, mermaid, etc.
For the women: If anyone feels in the mood to demonstrate squirting for an audience, please let me know. Let’s get wet-n-wild!
For the men: If you have tried “sea cucumber,” aka cock!, or are curious to try it, please let me know. I know at least one man who is interested in exploring his bi-side. Often bi-curious men feel shy to reach out at play parties since so much focus is put on bi-women.
For the non-binary folx: You are welcome here. Let me know what you’re interested in exploring!
Be aware this beautiful home will be clean, but dogs do live here, and will be crated that night. Shoes are permitted in the house. Smoking is allowed on back deck. 420 friendly. For safety reasons, no jumping on the trampoline. Respect the neighbors.
Condoms, lube, and sexy spaces and props (we have a Sybian!) will be provided. You are welcome to bring your own toys. In fact, I heard a rumor that someone is bringing a Violet Wand!
TBK parties are not just swinger parties – they embrace sexual creativity and all sexy, consensual alternative lifestyles. Kink and bi-friendly!
TBK play party rules and etiquette: Everything is on your own terms and consensual. People are friendly and nice, so please introduce yourself to others, and ask permission to touch/play. Be aware of personal space and boundaries. Feel free to say no thank you. Guests are mature, respectful, gracious, and fun-loving. We have nervous and excited newbies – please make them feel welcome! TBK parties tend to have really good, sex-positive energy. Diversity is welcome.
You can expect the first hour or two to be like a regular party where people meet and mingle. After that, you’ll see some super sexy action and demos going down, but you don’t have to play if you don’t want to, or you can just play with your partner, or do whatever feels right to you. There will be spaces for public play, as well as some privacy. BDSM, bisexuality, and other forms of creative sexuality is encouraged! Respect guest privacy and confidentiality – NO photography or video.
Any questions? Please scroll down the Party page for FAQ: – ask me anything that’s not listed there.
I’ll be leading this party with my tits out, Queen of the Sea style! 🙂
I hope all this helps you plan your next play party. That’s what I’ve been doing these days – reminiscing about all the fun I’ve had in the past, and brainstorming new adventures when it is safe to do so.
Stay safe and sexy, my friends!