Preying on Male Insecurity

By Kendra Holliday | January 29, 2020

Have you ever visited a men’s health clinic? You know, the kind you hear advertised on the radio for men who have lost their mojo – low testosterone, erectile dysfunction, infertility, etc.

Nurse Kendra πŸ˜‰

I’ve never been to one, but a lot of my clients have, and it’s crazy what they tell me!

I’m all for having options, but it seems like things can get pretty invasive, pretty quickly, and for a pretty penny! And it’s all pretty silly, in my opinion. They’ll charge a man hundreds of dollars to do “wave therapy” on his penis, which is like putting a fancy medical vibrator on his dick.

I’d say that 80% of the men who come to me with erectile dysfunction are dealing with a psychological issue, not a physical one, but these clinics are quick to prescribe pills and even injections in the penis.

Yes, these things can work, but they are expensive chemicals and you don’t want to become dependent on them. They’ll set a man up with an expensive little cock shot kit he has to carry around with him and keep refrigerated. The kit includes tiny needles and a vial of liquid you inject into the side of the penis. You want to make sure you alternate where you inject, or else you can create scar tissue and damage the penis.

I think it’s better to back up and try more natural, less invasive methods first. Of course, that requires patience and a different kind of vulnerability.

Speaking of pills, there’s a male supplement out there called “Alpha King” – can you get any more buzzword than that? And all these tricks and gimmicks use all these slick science words for marketing purposes – “our product contains significantly more bioavailable sapogenins…”

And what’s with the male clinics that boast of an all-male staff, or female staff (this urology clinic staff lineup reminds me of a Hooters harem!)? Are most of the men coming to these clinics straight, or gay, or a combination? I’m just wondering.

Do they acknowledge andropause and how aging can naturally shift a person’s sexuality, which is not a bad thing? (For more on this, I highly recommend the teachings of my mentor, Joan Price, who specializes in ageless sexuality.)

All this virility fear-mongering can be misguided and exploitative. Toxic masculinity? Why, we have a pill for that…

Anyway, here are some books I use in my sex surrogate practice – replace the fear with love!

I try to teach men how to be mindful instead of “mind-filled,” and to open themselves up to the pleasures associated with experience-based sex (as opposed to goal-based or performance-based sex.)

What do you think? Have you been to any of these clinics? What do you like or don’t like about them?


Joan Price 2020-01-30 14:19:18

Thank you for recommending my work, Kendra! You make excellent points. I would add these:

1. Get a diagnosis from a sex-positive MD who understands not to treat a condition that hasn’t been diagnosed — in other words, who doesn’t throw pills at a penis without knowing what’s *causing* the ED. ED can be the first warning sign of a medical condition that needs treatment, like heart disease, diabetes, or a neurological condition.

2. When the cause is physical, injections or implants can be effective, if desired.

3. As I know you teach your clients, there are myriad ways to have satisfying, intimate, exhilarating sex that don’t require an erection. I offer a webinar, “Great Sex Without Penetration” — — and I write about this often. I know you teach this, also. It needs to be emphasized because penis-owners often don’t understand this.

Thank you for the work you do, Kendra.


    Kendra Holliday 2020-01-31 07:31:29

    Thank you, Joan, for this added advice! Always a delight to have you read and comment on my blog!


Sandy 2020-02-01 00:51:09

Indeed, what’s up with these penis clinics that reassure men that it’s an all-male staff? Not sure why that’s less embarrassing, especially if you have any homophobia. My wife thinks a guy is a wimp if he has any objections to being checked out by a female doctor or nurse, as she’s had male ob-gyns and delivered in a teaching hospital with a whole med school class watching.

As a man, I’d prefer the urology clinic with an all-female staff. I realize some (many?) men think the opposite.


    Mat 2020-02-01 09:15:32

    I actually prefer having women see me at the urologist, and even prefer having one as my primary care physician. I am especially not a fan of the toxic masculinity that is often so pervasive amongst urologists. I can’t imagine wanting more of that with a staff comprised of nothing but men. Ugh.


ken 2020-02-28 22:42:04

I love your writing and your process. Those places could make John Wayne second guess himself.
From the P-shot to the O-shot to the stem cell injections, none of the new fixes have any real proof of concept, but they certainly charge like they do. It isn’t, however, a male phenomenon. All of the same procedures exist for women. They are just being less sexist with their greed. It’s just sad.


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