Remember this RFT article that shocked the local community twelve years ago? Take a moment to skim it, then let’s replace all the sex references with more innocuous FOOD references and see how it reads.

Not as shocking, ey? Why is that?

Special thanks to Ms. Melissa Meinzer and The Riverfront Times for permission to revise the article for conservative consumption.

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SFW: The St. Louis mom behind food blog The Baking Kind is outing herself

Kendra Holliday – The Baking Kind

Kendra Holliday is a total chef. Go right ahead and say it — she does. She’s not hiding from it anymore.

In some ways, she’s always been honest about it. She’s unflinchingly blogged every detail of her baking life for years — she’s a talented, aproned, joyously partnered divorced mother, living and writing and baking (and yeah, it’s a lot of baking) in St. Louis.

Her blog, www.thebakingkind.com, details all of it. It has made her into a celebrity of sorts. It has cost her a job. She’s called it her second partner.

The blog has become a safe space for food-positive readers in St. Louis and all over the world to come together. It’s created a virtual community, and Holliday and some of her foodie friends want to take that momentum and push the Midwest forward into greater culinary freedom and openness.

And it’s hard to do that when you’re hiding. So Holliday is coming out.

Tea time with The Baking Kind

Kendra Holliday is 38. She’s got the lithe glow of a long-time vegetarian.

She grew up outside Creve Coeur, in the house her parents still share with a dog and two cats. The house has photos of all five kids on the wall, alongside photos of nurse Mom and sailor Dad from the beginning of their 44 years of marriage.

In a lot of ways, Holliday’s early years were fairly conventional. She was a smart girl and in her school’s gifted program. Her siblings looked up to her then and still do now.

Order, togetherness and success are themes in her family’s history, just as much as the obvious love that its members share.

Holliday’s parents are happy to talk about her childhood, as they positively adore her. They recall entering her into a beauty contest in Texas when she was three and are still genuinely pleased that she won First Prize.

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Remember that Pussy Project Matthew announced that was connected to this post he wrote? Unfortunately, he got sidetracked and it never came to light, despite an enthusiastic response from readers around the world.

Great news: I’m pleased to announce that I have found a similar project that has made it to beautiful fruition in the form of this book, I’ll Show You Mine, by Wrenna Robertson, a multiple degreed exotic dancer. “I’ll Show You Mine” is a photo study of female genitalia containing 120 life-size photographs of 60 women, all photographed from the same two positions. Each photo set is accompanied by the woman’s story, which reads more like a pussy poem, taking the reader on a brief, intensely emotional journey leading up to the glorious photograph.

In the book’s introduction, Wrenna states:

For much of human history, western society has perceived women’s genitals as shameful, unattractive and generally unpleasant. Women have been taught the the feminine ideal involves being as inoffensive as possible; polite and pretty, neat and tidy, chaste. While men are believed to have an innate sexual drive that cannot always be controlled, uncontained or inappropriately expressed sexuality in women is condemned.

Many of the women in this book report that they used to be ashamed of their genitals but have since overcome that early negative conditioning by society. One woman said her mother told her if she ran water over her vulva in the bathtub, she would get warts. Another woman’s boyfriend teased her for being too lippy.

Then again, other women have been blessed with very positive experiences that helped shape their body image acceptance, in the form of past appreciative lovers and spiritual healing centers.

One woman in the book, Emily, has only had her pussy for a year and a half – she had it created out of her original male genitals. If you’re ever wondered what reconstructed genitals look like, I think you’ll be impressed.

Some of the women use the term yoni for their pussy. Some folks find this too hippie dippy, but I like it. It describes the whole package, the entire sacred feminine vessel.

I pored over this book with my partner. I joked with him, “Do you wish this book was scratch-and-sniff?” He laughed, “Kindof.”

He dearly loves pussy. He embraces the fact that he came out of one and has spent his entire life revisiting the sacred place.

We played a game where we tried to find the pussy who most resembled mine, which has shaved puffy outside lips and just a little bit of inner lip sticking out like a impudent tongue, and trimmed bush on top. Hmm, maybe Alicia, the woman whose mother called vaginas “flowerpots.”

One woman featured expressed her extreme regret for overshaving for the photoshoot. She thought about backing out of the project, but decided to turn her rash razor stunt into a teaching moment for others, writing, “we are all beautiful just as we are. Don’t let anyone or anything change how you look naturally.”

As I read the book, I yearned to be a part of it. Good news – the book is a stepping stone in a fluid river of stories that can be added to the website.

I like how Tanya harkened our connection to nature with this sweet sentiment:

I think there are as many variations of a female flower in this world as there are actual flowers. There are roses, lilies, orchids, irises, gardenias, plumerias, carnations, daffodils, peonies, tulips…just to name a few. Every flower is exquisite and unique. If a flower’s petals are longer than another flower’s petals, does that make it ugly? No!

This book will last longer and be of more value to your loved one than any bouquet. If you have a pussy, yoni, flower – whatever you call it – do something nice for it to today. Show it some love. Give it some pleasure. Feed it something delicious. Make it feel ALIVE.

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I donated this book to Shameless Grounds Sexuality Library, so please visit them and take a look for yourself!

Ten years ago, I joined MakeLoveNotPorn.tv

after watching Cindy Gallop’s provocative TED talk (you can go watch it, it’s 4 min long). I wrote about it in this blog post from 2012.

And then, I wandered off, chasing butterflies, having adventures, making dreams come true, getting into trouble, lots of distractions…

Ten years later, I came across this interview by Sexologist Dr. Martha Tara Lee of Eros Coaching, featuring MakeLoveNotPorn.tv’s Founder, Cindy Gallop…

and I instantly felt ENERGIZED

Here is why:

At the 2:50 mark, Dr. Martha came out of the gate very vulnerable, revealing something personal and emotional. I was immediately hooked.

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My name is Kendra Holliday, and I had an abortion.

I woke up on the morning of my scheduled abortion in 2007 and my beau at the time joked, “Today is your big day!”

Honestly, I was looking forward to it. For the past month I had been feeling like shit, barely able to function from the nausea and loss of energy. I was eager to get it over with. The clinic actually made me wait a couple weeks longer to get it done, so the egg sac would be big enough to locate. I was going in eight weeks pregnant.

My man dropped me off and then went to play a few rounds of golf. Just kidding. We passed through security (no protesters again!) and they searched our bags. We sat in the waiting room. He graded papers. I knitted. There were more men there with their partners this time, but at least three of the dudes were sleeping. I heard several different languages being spoken.

I got called in to pay for the procedure ($240), then got sent out to wait again. It wasn’t long before they called me back in along with five other women. They were all in their early 20’s; four were African-American, one was Eastern European. Like a herd, we followed the nurse to a locker room where we all changed into hospital gowns and these awful paper bag slippers. Those slippers were the worst part of the experience.

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Bound, by Elizabeth Anne Wood, Ph.D.

A few years ago, I attended Woodhull Sexual Freedom Summit in the Washington, D.C. area. Several authors were featured, including Elizabeth Anne Wood, Ph.D. She read an excerpt from her book, Bound: A Daughter, a Domme, and an End-of-Life Story.

I was instantly intrigued, as I’m a bit obsessed with  sex and death – I’m both horny AND morbid. I had never heard of a story like this – a daughter being supportive of her mom’s kinky sex life?! Come again?

I’d like to say I couldn’t wait to read it, but it turns out I DID wait to read it – when I got home, I put it on my shelf of sex books and there it sat, for months. So many books, so little time.

But I finally had more time to catch up on my reading, thanks to a serious mental breakdown I had in February. I took time off from seeing clients (I’m a sex worker who does Pro Domme, fetish and surrogate work), and was able to tend to myself.

I’m glad I read it when I did – it was published just a few weeks before my own mom died in 2019, which allowed me to relate to what the author shared so much more.

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Just a quick update letting you know I’m feeling better. I’ll see clients in April, but I’ll be taking it slow and limiting interactions to talking or online appointments only, for now.

My new therapist told me she received these messages while meditating before our first session:

“Only spend time with those who hold you in the highest esteem.”

and

“Respect is KEY.”

Amen to that!

Spring

I love to explore.

(For some background on polyamory, please read my article Love Like An Ocean: Diving Deep Into Polyamory.)

My partner and I have been together for thirteen years.

We first met July 2007, at a friend’s wedding. We are in a long-term, committed open relationship. We started our relationship open. We don’t live together – we keep our families, homes, and finances separate. We see each other about 2 or 3 times a week. We are open to countless possibilities when it comes to sharing intimacy with other people. We deeply enjoy and appreciate our non-traditional relationship.

But it certainly isn’t a reckless free-for-all. In order to keep it healthy and drama-free, we constantly communicate with each other to ensure ways we can exercise our freedom while operating on mutual respect.

Outlined below is an arrangement that works for us.

It can be difficult balancing everything, but this is how we prioritize:

1. Kids/family

2. Careers

3. Our relationship

4. The people we are dating/close relationships

5. Social/volunteer/misc.

Sometimes we will date a person or couple once or twice, or just for a weekend when they come visit. Sometimes we will date a person or couple for a few months or longer. Usually lives change and shift so much that we ebb and flow into things naturally. It feels very fluid. We can date other people solo, or together.

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