Tips for a Yummy Mouth

By Kendra Holliday | February 13, 2024

Going places!

SMILE!

Psssst.

Do you want to know if you have bad breath?

Ask someone. Ask me!

Or, try this:

1. Grab some floss. If you don’t have easy access to any, you have bad breath FOR SURE.

2. Floss a few of your teeth.

3. Sniff the floss. This is what your breath smells like.

Any food that is caught between your teeth and left there simply rots, right in your face. That’s why it’s important to floss daily – you don’t want a graveyard in your mouth. Rotty, fetid bacteria is bad news.

The reason why I’m posting this is because I run a sex worker group, and one of the most common complaints I hear from the women (besides clients being cheap or disrespectful) are clients with bad breath. It’s really hard to give the Girlfriend Experience when your partner has stinky breath. šŸ™

Conversely, I was at a Whore Happy Hour and one of the men complimented me on my teeth, saying the women he knew were sweet, but many had stale mouths and smoked. No doubt my nice smile is a good selling point, if you will.

SO, if you want others to enjoy kissing you, here are some easy tips on keeping your breath fresh n’ clean:

1. Brush your teeth twice a day. This is also good for your gums.

2. Floss daily. As they say, you only have to floss the teeth you want to keep! Glide is a good brand if you have crowded teeth and normal floss shreds. After flossing, rinse with water.

3. Tongue scraping is good. You can buy a scraper, but I just use a spoon every couple days or so (people sometimes ask why I keep a spoon in my bathroom, ha!) It’s crazy what can accumulate on the back of your tongue, it gets all thick and white, eww!

4. Listerine may actually do more harm than good because it contains alcohol and dries the mouth, which the bacteria tend to like. I use SmartMouth, it’s great!Ā It shorts out the bacteria’s ability to breakdown and produce sulphides in your mouth.

5. Keep the mouth moist (god I hate that word) with sugar-free gum or mints. I chew gum ten minutes before a date.

6. Avoid coffee or smoking, but if you do indulge, rinse with water or brush your teeth/pop a mint afterward.

7. HYDRATE. Drink lots of water.

8. Eat more fruits and veggies, less meat. High protein diets are the worst for creating bad bacteria fumes as it decomposes.

9. Go to the dentist for routine cleaning twice a year. I don’t have dental insurance, but I still make this happen. A cleaning costs me about $150. Consider it skull maintenance. If you’re scared of dentists, ask around for recommendations. There are lots of nice dentists out there!

You can read more about halitosis here. And if you have tonsil stones lodged in your tonsil crypts, I don’t know what to tell you. Anything beyond the back of the tongue freaks me out!

Do you have any fresh breath tips or bad breath horror stories to share? If you had bad breath, would you want someone to tell you?

Coffee Talk

By Kendra Holliday | February 12, 2024

This post isn’t really sex-related, but I didn’t know where else to put it, so I’m putting it here.

It IS about pleasure though, and we all know how I’m a staunch advocate for pleasure, so…

Kendra after swim in ocean

I’ve been feeling SUPER nostalgic and weepy the past few days. I’m leading up to my dad’s one year deathiversary – he died on Feb 13, 2023, at age 82, after a long life of maintaining a positive attitude, focusing on the good stuff, amidst all the trauma curveballs thrown his way.

I’ve been experiencing grief labor, which is my body remembering the past trauma of being nearĀ the veil – birth and death, both extremely profound to experience, up close and personal.

I marvel at how giving birth was similar to witnessing my parent’s die – each time, it felt like a scary roller coaster ride I desperately wanted off, but

too bad! so sad!

I had no choice in the matter. I had to be brave and get through it. UGH! SO SCARY! So much pain and fear.

breathe…replace the fear with love…

The past few days, I’ve been pacing and gushing emotional discharge, out of my mind with grief. Don’t mind me – I’m just a crazy lady over here, caring and feeling SO, SO MUCH. Tomorrow, I’m taking a day of self care.

ANYWAY, I wanted to share this simple life lesson with you.

When my dad was 12, he worked for a crusty, “old” alcoholic electronics repairman.

Let’s review the generations:

  • Greatest Generation (1901-1924) … this was the repairman
  • Silent Generation (1925-1945) … this was my dad
  • Baby Boomers (1946-1964) … this was my mom
  • Generation X (1965-1980) … this is me
  • Millennials (1981-1996) … this is my baby sister
  • Generation Z (1997-2012) … this is my daughter
  • Generation Alpha (2013-2025) … I don’t think I know any of these baby people. I tend to avoid children. I prefer my folks with some wisdom and experience.

The repairman grew up during the Great Depression and probably fought in a war, so he was used to an austere, unpredictable life.

(more…)

Male Strippers

By Kendra Holliday | January 29, 2024

A man I don’t know has been pestering me online for the past six months about CFNM (Clothed Female Nude Male) stuff. Apparently, he really, really wants to be seen naked by women, and isn’t sure how to go about it.

Fortunately for him, I co-founded Sex Positive St Louis, and we’ve hosted several CFNM events. Unfortunately for him, he hasn’t been able to attend any of them.

So, he keeps trying to figure out a way to realize his fantasies, and would like to utilize my clout.

One time, he asked, “Do you ever engage in CFNM activities outside of the group?”

I replied, “I’ve hosted some private events in the past, but they’re pretty expensive – the more people involved, the more pricey it gets. That’s why it’s nice to offer accessible options for the community from time to time.”

At this point, I’m well aware that we’re on different pages – he’s contacting a sex worker, fishing for free fantasy handouts. As a professional fantasy facilitator, it’s not my area of expertise to know where men can find free sex and elaborate fantasies. Do YOU have any suggestions? Maybe his friend circle? Dating apps? Online searches?

THIS is why I started Sex Positive St Louis in 2010 – so that people who can’t afford my services can have access to free and low-cost sex education and exploration.

For his latest angle, he asked me, “Do you like male strippers by any chance?”

Male stripper, photo from Wikimedia Commons

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PSA: Women Have Been Punished Enough!

By Kendra Holliday | January 27, 2024

So, I do the sex work.

Lady lumps

For the past decade+, I’ve screened thousands of men, and shared intimacy with most of them. Hey, someone has to do it!

For the most part, I LOVE MY JOB.

I love sex ed!

A lot of women WISH they could be promiscuous, but they hold back, for the obvious reasons, e.g., they don’t want to risk their life.

The majority of men are ABSOLUTELY amazing. I LOVE them.
I feel safe with them.

[DID YOU KNOW! The more relaxed and comfortable someone is, the more orgasmic they are!]

{ put that in your pipe and smoke it šŸ˜‰ }

But, every once in a while – about three times a week – amidst the dozens of inquiries I receive – (honestly, it makes my head spin!)

I get some rotten apples. ;(

And by that I mean, delicious fruit that has been poisoned by ….

Duh duh DUHHHH!!!

TOXIC MASCULINITY.

(more…)

365 Fetishes!

By Kendra Holliday | January 21, 2024

One year on Twitter, I listed one of my fetishes every day.

Fetish: something that sexually charms you.

I went back and looked at the list and was turned on and amused!

Here is the list in its entirety – I replaced about ten of them. If I’ve featured one in a post, I will link it to that post.

Mmmm, I want them ALL! Do any themes jump out at you? It’s clear I’m into hair, booze, and incest!

What about you – how many things turn YOU on?

cuffed

cuffed

1. Hairy chest
2. Steel handcuffs
3. Having my lingerie ripped (panties, stockings, fishnets)
4. Fireplaces
5. Sideburns
6. Scars
7. Redheaded women
8. Pre-1968 Elvis

Mood lighting

Mood lighting

9. Reaction cologne
10. Impregnation
11. Sleeping Beauty
12. Fishnets
13. Feeling hard cock through jeans/pants
14. Incest Fantasies
15. Wit
16. Austria
17. Werewolves/werebears
18. My manā€™s cum inside my pussy
19. Librarians
20. Japanese Gardens
21. Cuckqueaning
22. Bruce Springsteen
23. Firetrucks
24. Bubble baths
25. Magic Wand
26. Limerence
27. Jewfros
28. Arched doorways
29. A REAL beard
30. Mood lighting
31. Castles
32. Professors
33. Long skirts
34. Trees
35. Victorian Homes
36. Flasks
37. HairyĀ underarms
38. Spanking
39. Scarves
40. Confidence
41. Classical music
42. Braids
43. V-Safe Men
44. Henna
45. Period films
46. Lumberjacks
(more…)

The Sexuality of Older Men

By Kendra Holliday | December 20, 2023

I recently read the book “Couple Sexuality After 60: Intimate, Pleasurable, and Satisfying,” by Barry and Emily McCarthy, a couple who have been married for more than 50 years. I HIGHLY recommend it. For an example of what it’s about, here is a great workshop by the author:

The authors maintain that oftentimes, it is the man in the relationship who ends a couple’s sex life. I was shocked to hear this! My personal sample is very skewed – most of the men contacting me are frustrated and sad that their wives have shut down sex when they enter menopause, but that’s not always the case!

If a man is used to sex centering around orgasm and intercourse, and his aging body is not producing the spontaneous, reliable erections he took for granted in his 20’s and 30’s, he can mistakenly think he is “broken,” and not want to engage in an act he “can’t finish.” Couples who believe that often stop being sexual in their 50’s and 60’s. šŸ™

The authors strongly encourage couples to embrace a new way of approaching sex – expanding sexuality to include five types of touch, and for sex to be PLEASURE-based, as opposed to PERFORMANCE-based.

Those five types of touch are:

Affectionate

Playful

Sensual

Erotic

Intercourse

Expanding your definition of sex enables you to enjoy it well into your 80’s. (This is a similar premise to my blog post about Why Creative Sex is Better Than Straight Sex.)

(more…)

Hygge

By Kendra Holliday | December 19, 2023

Do the right thing.

Do the right thing.

I used to HATE winter, but then I learned about hygge.

What is hygge?

Hygge is a Danish word that translates into:Ā “GET COZY AND HAPPY EVEN THOUGH IT’S FUCKING COLD OUTSIDE!”

Well, here is what the Visit Denmark website says:

“Hard to explain and even harder to pronounce, the Danish word hygge (pronounced ‘hooga’) roughly translates to ‘coziness’.Ā In essence, hygge means creating a warm atmosphere and enjoying the good things in life with good people. The warm glow of candlelight is hygge. Friends and family ā€“ thatā€™s hygge too. There’s nothing more hygge than sitting round a table, discussing the big and small things in life. Perhaps hygge explains why the Danes are the happiest people in the world!”

Turning a negative into a positiveĀ = LIFE’S SECRET WEAPON.

I have a Norwegian friend and I make him pronounce it for me. Over and over, hee! As an ignorant, but now *enlightened* American, it’s a tricky word to say! But at least I know how to DO IT.

In true hygge fashion, I’ve surrounded myself with glowing candles, soft scarves and blankets, warm spirits, and cozy-inducing activities. Mood lighting and inviting textures are KEY. Group sex is optional. šŸ™‚

Here are some examples of MY hygge – I range from sweet to sexxxy:

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10/29/23 Recap

By Kendra Holliday | November 4, 2023

Soft Cock Week is November 5-11! Visit the official website to learn about events and learning opportunities offered.

I had an amazing client session and finally got to try out Lorals, a safer sex barrier product. We – both the giver and receiver of pleasure – were impressed! I definitely recommend them – they were super stretchy, micro-thin, sexy, smelled good, comfortable…mmm mmm!

I taught a sex ed class at Eden Seminary. I LOVE any excuse to visit beautiful college campuses during the fall!

Speaking of fall, we’ve enjoyed such gorgeous weather here in St Louis, MO region. The trees have been spectacular.

I apologize for the brevity of this update. I’ve been dealing with some unexpected stuff, and it’s got me bummed/frazzled/distracted.

I hope things smooth out soon, I’m eager to get back on track.

I Dream of Jeannie!

By Kendra Holliday | October 31, 2023

Remember how I mentioned my friend Jeannie in this previous post? She’s SUCH a doll!

Well, here is MORE info about her! Should you decide to contact her, please know you will be screened and you’ll have a talking consult with her as a first step. Too many nefarious folks out there, please enter this perky pumpkin patch sincere! šŸ˜‰

Jeannie!

Hello! Iā€™m Jeannie, a mid-30s bisexual woman of trans experience living in St. Louis. Iā€™m feminine, soft spoken, and an excellent conversationalist. Friends describe me as a classy companion, cute and slim with a porcelain complexion and raven hair. I love meeting new people to shake off shame through tenderness and “depravity.” Can you tell I’m an Aquarius? šŸ™‚
For fun, I like trying restaurants, cocktail bars, walks in the park, and nerd things like sci-fi movies. My background is in music and writing, and I’m always learning by reading books, from kink to philosophy. I enjoy companionship, escort, and D/s. Happily polyamorous for 10+ years, I can make a great relationship coach/cheerleader, as well as a resource for anyone curious about trans women and BDSM. Open to new experiences, I would love to hear from you. storyofthei@gmail.com

What is Your Core Desire?

By Kendra Holliday | October 30, 2023

At the Sex Down South conference last month, I was eager to attend a class all about muffing, but unfortunately, the presenter had to cancel, so I had to find another event to attend.

I was torn between a class about the power dynamics of polyamory with Dr. Liz Powell and Kevin Patterson, M.Ed., and a screening of an independent pilot called Here She Comes, with Director Jessica Habie & Celeste Hirschman.

I had already attended one of Dr. Liz’s classes, so I decided to check out the screening.

WOW, I’m SO glad I did!

Here She Comes, image from cinefemme.net

It was a really well-made show, akin to Sex Education. Unfortunately, they’ve been on hold with proceeding to film more episodes because of the SAG-AFTRA Strike.

The running theme of the show is discovering a person’s Core Desire. For instance, a married couple is at odds because the wife’s Core Desire is feeling Treasured, and her husband’s Core Desire is feeling Degraded. Is there a way for them to find a common ground and enjoy intimacy together?

Also, how did they acquire their Core Desires – were they born with them, or did their life experiences influence them?

Naturally, I immediately started wondering about MY Core Desire, and all the people I know – could I guess my partner’s Core Desire? Hmm!

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10/22/23 Recap

By Kendra Holliday | October 22, 2023

WASH U IS BRINGING EMILY NAGOSKI TO ST LOUIS NEXT MONTH! Reserve your free seat here. She’s done several TED talks on great topics, such as female desire and unwanted arousal. This time, she’s presenting the science of long term relationships.

This was funeral week. šŸ™

Sad Kendra

I attended three funerals.

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10/15/23 Recap

By Kendra Holliday | October 15, 2023

Ahhh, October is my favorite month!

Fall is my favorite season

Here’s a fun fall look:

Fall fashion

I’m wearing beaded shawl I got in Puerto Rico with raccoon penis bones earrings a fellow “vulture culture” friend gave me. šŸ™‚

I gotta say, I’ve been getting some pretty odd requests from men all over the country. Here’s an example:

City / State: Toledo
Best Time of Day for Meeting: Late night
Service Requested: Femdom Hypnosis. I want to be hypnotized to sleep, into Your control. Women feet hypnotize me.

Needless to say, I didn’t respond to this one – I don’t do late nights, and this sounded like AI-generated spam.

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10/8/23 Puerto Rico Recap

By Kendra Holliday | October 8, 2023

My two sisters and I went to Puerto Rico!

It was a very special occasion – our mom’s birthday is Oct 5, and my dad was stationed in Puerto Rico 1964-1966 (US Navy). We were taking a bit of their ashes to sprinkle in the ocean.

My dad had nothing but wonderful memories of the island and his time in the military – riding motorcycles, visiting brothels, fixing airplanes, buying a car, swimming in the ocean… I have my parents love letters from that time, so I can see all his reflections, in his own words (he didn’t mention the brothels, my mom was SUPER jealous and insecure.)

Right before we left, I got my hair trimmed and teeth cleaned.

Kendra hair braids

We stayed in San Juan, in a nice little boutique hotel staffed by colorful queer folks. Each of our rooms suited us well – my practical sister had a white and tan room, my technicolor sister had a kaleidoscope of colors room, and my room was nature green:

My hotel room

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10/1/23 Recap

By Kendra Holliday | October 2, 2023

I had a fantastically passionate threesome! My friend Bianca is amazing!!

I found a bloody, injured dove on the sidewalk during my dawn walk. I had to put him in my backyard and knock out a client session before I could drop him off at the Wild Bird Rescue. I sure hope he makes it.

I listened to this delightful interview featuring my mentor, Joan Price, on the podcast Betwixt the Sheets: The History of Sex, Scandal, and Society.

I got my fairy cottage all decorated for Halloween! I really go overboard – so many ghosts, witches, pumpkins, black cats…

I attended a History of Underwear lecture, it was fun!

I listened to the book The Molecule of More: How a Single Chemical in Your Brain Drives Love, Sex, and Creativity ā€“ and
Will Determine the Fate of the Human Race.

Here’s a line from it:
“From dopamine’s point of view, having things is uninteresting. It’s only GETTING things that matters. If you live under a bridge, dopamine makes you want a tent. If you live in a tent, dopamine makes you want a house. If you live in the most expensive mansion in the world, dopamine makes you want a castle on the moon…”

I read the book SEEK the RISK: A wild journey into sex and love, while searching for authentic masculinity. It would make for a great discussion at a sex-positive/non-monogamy book club!

Phew, now I’m caught up!

I’m packing for my trip this week – Puerto Rico with my sisters!

My sisters and me

My sisters and me

9/24/23 Recap

By Kendra Holliday | September 24, 2023

I attended TWO penis parties this weekend. They both had the same format (CFNM = Clothed Female, Nude Male), but with different attendees. I found one irritating, and one enlightening. We talked about ED, emotions, confidence, relationships, and more.

At the penis party, someone pointed out, ā€œMen fear rejection, women fear getting killed.ā€ I was reminded of a book I often recommend called “The Gift of Fear, and other survival signals that protect us from violence.”

Everywhere I look online, it says the clitoris has ~9000+ nerves, and the penis has ~5000+. I wonder how that is, since a penis has more surface area. Is it because of circumcision?🧐

Out of the 2000? penises I’ve gotten to play with, only five or so were uncircumcised, can you believe that??

I got my new nurse uniform! Complete with “Nurse Holliday” monogrammed.

Nurse Holliday

I got my STI tests done, everything is good to go!

(more…)

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