No Room at the Inn

By Kendra Holliday | December 16, 2021

A very happy and shiny Kendra Holliday

Confession: My email inbox stocking is stuffed full of inquiries.

Right now, I have about 65 people waiting to hear from me, dating back two months. πŸ™ I reply to as many as sweet souls as I can every day, in between sessions and other duties and obligations. (BTW: If you’re waiting for an email from me, check your spam folder. My domain name is blacklisted due to my web host allowing adult content.)

Ideally, I’d like to get back to people within 48 hours, but I’m just one person, and I often get sucked into my menopause mood swings and my dad’s illness – he has mid-stage dementia and I’m his primary care partner. I’ve learned that it is extremely draining to be someone’s quality-of-life support, someone’s seeing eye brain, someone’s backup human being. Even though he lives in assisted living, he depends on me for just about everything.

(As an aside, I’m astonished that I used to have FIVE creatures dependent on me – both my sick parents, my two old cats, and a daughter. All that is left is my dad. I swore to my mother on her death bed that I would take care of him, and I’ve assured him that I will be there for him, for as long as he needs me.)

So all this is to say, I try my best to help others in between my mental health issues and family duties. I’m eager to help people who understand and respect my process. πŸ™‚

These are the kinds of people I don’t have time for:

– the man who told me he should get a “big dick discount.”
– the man who sang along to his favorite musical as he thrust in and out of me, as if I wasn’t there.
– the men who stood me up and didn’t make it right.
– the men who stood me up, and then contacted me again weeks later, acting like it didn’t happen.
– the men who stood me up, and much later told me a family member died. I dunno, the day my mom died, I managed to contact the three people I had appointments with that day and cancel them, so…
– the woman who stood me up multiple times. I gave her more chances, because she was a woman. πŸ™
– the men who put me on unpaid retainer, repeatedly scheduling appointments with me, only to cancel as the date got closer.
– the man who constantly cracked jokes the entire time we had sex.
– the man who looked down at me as he was fucking me doggy style and remarked, “Looks like someone’s had anal before.”
– the men who treat my breasts like playthings.
– the men who act like my nipples are radio buttons.
– the men who finger banged me out of the blue.
– the men who say to me, “I want to please you,” but are actually winking down at their dicks.
– the men who say, “you should be paying ME” when I’m enjoying myself.
– the man who stood me up for an appointment, then cussed me out and demanded a refund, despite my cancellation and reservation policy.
– the man who arrived 30 minutes early for his appointment. When I expressed surprise, he said, “Well what can I say, I’m an eager boy…”
– the men who made me feel more glad when they exited instead of entering…
– the men I had sex with, and felt yucky about it later.
– the psychic vampires who made me feel slimed, drained, or like they were trying to trade skins with me.
– the men who treated me like a fleshlight.
– the men trying to PROVE SOMETHING.
– the men who want a porn star experience.
– the men who have bad hygiene – bad breath, not showered, smell like ass…
– the men who handled my body as if it was a female orgasm slot machine.
– the men who send me unsolicited cock shots.
– the men who wanted to forgo safer sex practices.
– the man who emailed me eight times about our upcoming appointment, then ended up canceling it.
– the men who are unreliable/flaky/cancel short notice.
– the men who projected their shame on me.
– the men who feel entitled to my time and energy.
– the men who waste my time and energy.
– the men who contact me seeking my expertise, then want to do things “their way.”
– the men who push my boundaries.
– the man who I just met, and face fucked me so hard I puked.

What the heck – were these men born in a barn?! I mean, maybe some women like this kind of thing, but I don’t. And I try and convey that over and over – publicly and privately. Yet, they persist. They circle back to me, asking for another chance.

Why waste time with people you gave a chance to, and they disrespected you? Why go back and drink from a poisoned well, or take another bite of an apple that made you sick?

It doesn’t make sense. πŸ™

Instead, I’ll devote my time, energy and expertise to:

  • people who are new to me. I’ll give them a chance.
  • people who have cowboy ethics.
  • people who operate on mutual respect.
  • people who look out for others.
  • people I feel safe with naked.
  • people who appreciate pleasure and intimacy.
  • people open to learning and exploring.
  • people I can be real with.
  • people who have earned my trust, with a good track record and history.
  • people who are generous, grateful, patient, mature.

People like this are such gifts! πŸ™‚

I’ll keep doing my best to focus on the polite, positive people, and not get distracted by all the rude, negative nonsense. Don’t let life tear you down! πŸ™‚

Don’t let life tear you down!


Mike j 2021-12-16 16:16:59

Good article Kendra. Sorry you have to put up with those who want to bleed your soul for their own pleasure, with no regard of how you feel and what you have to put up with. It’s also unfortunate that these people try to take you away from those who you care about, like your dad and daughter and other family members. Those who email you need to be patient and understand that you are only one person and can’t possibly answer all their messages at the drop of a pin. They need to realize that if they pressure you too much, you may not be there when they really need someone like you. I just want you to realize that there are those of us who appreciate you and are more than willing to treat you with respect and wait for you to respond when YOU have time. Hang in there Kendra, you are appreciated more than you will ever know.


AlanK 2021-12-26 09:35:34

I read your lists carefully and–oversimplifying enormously–they seem to me to be the various ways a person with good manners treats you as a desirable human being, as an “end” rather than a “means.” Perhaps you’d like to offer some more specific advice: three ways, perhaps, to ensure that the experience is one in which a person expands his/her/their erotic horizons and/or becomes a better lover. I’m not suggesting that what you write is not important, only that it is so rich that I’d appreciate even more.


Ayub Francis Mulla 2021-12-27 08:08:25



6309996800- AYUB FRANCIS MULLA 3


GenericUsername 2022-04-15 20:32:47

Holy hell…..I don’t know what to say here but I felt like I needed to say something. That is such a long and specific list of the negatives as compared to the positives. I can only hope that the specificity of the list of negatives is what is making it so long as compared to the general positives. I would also hope that the positives far, far outweigh the negatives. I don’t know that I could deal with that for very long, being you. I’m guessing over the years you’ve gotten a good handle and good gut feeling on who you meet or even begin a conversation with before you get to the actual face to face. Keep on keepin’ on. I’ll keep readin’ on. Cheers


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I need to dig into this!


Tea. πŸ«–


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