My Top Sex-Positive Recommendations
By Kendra Holliday | April 9, 2022
I offer sex and relationship consulting, and I’m happy to say that I’ve been getting more women, LGBT folks, and couples these days. Historically, most of the people who have sought me out for my unique services have been men who crave female energy.
The Top 5 reasons why people contact me are, in this order:
1. He’s a married man in his 50’s or 60’s whose wife is not interested in sex (mismatched libido)
2. He/she/they have some sort of sexual issue they want to work through, such as inexperience, adult virginity, anxiety, trauma, disabilities, or orgasm/genital problems (Erectile Dysfunction is a common complaint – it can get complex when you heap social conditioning and anxiety on top of the natural aging process.)
3. He/she/they are interested in branching out sexually, either because they are in transition, in between relationships, single/divorced/widowed, not getting laid, or curious about alternative lifestyle options (non-monogamy, kink/BDSM, sex work, etc.)
4. He has a fetish and is ashamed/seeking understanding and validation (“Am I normal?!”) or an outlet
5. They want to meet me, and possibly rub me for good luck
My goal is to offer tools, connections, and non-traditional options so that the people seeking me out can reach their goal of becoming happier and healthier. My approach is unconventional, and I get referrals from licensed sex therapists. I’m pretty well connected and have a strong network. Sex is my specialty, which ties into work, family, personal – everything!
Here is a list of resources I most often recommend to my clients:
I share my human sexuality checklist with them and encourage them to fill it out, either solo or with a partner. They can share it with me if they’d like. I also tell couples about this free nifty online tool called Mojo Upgrade that lets you safely discover shared fantasies. (If Mojo Upgrade website is down, you can try this new app called iPassion.)
If they live in St. Louis, I encourage them to get involved with SEX+STL. It’s important to meet like-minded people and have spaces for discussing sexuality.
I recommend they shop for toys online, or visit the Hustler on Natural Bridge Rd or a local couples-friendly adult toy store.
5 MOST RECOMMENDED LINKS
That Loving Feeling Takes A Lot of Work
Reid’s Difficult Conversation Formula
6 Harsh Truths That Will Make You A Better Person
Also, all the links in the right side column of my website are great! Mouse over them for a description.
7+ MOST RECOMMENDED BOOKS
The Bonobo Way: The Evolution of Peace by Pleasure – How to liberate your sexuality! Everyone interested in attending my TBK play parties should read this!
Sex at Dawn: How We Mate, Why We Stray, and What It Means for Modern Relationships – Why people fall into the mentality that spouses = property
Opening Up: A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships – Great guide for non-monogamy. A new one out is called More Than Two: A Practical Guide to Ethical Polyamory
The Gift of Fear and Other Survival Signals that Protect Us From Violence – Every woman should read this.
No More Mr. Nice Guy: A Proven Plan for Getting What You Want in Love, Sex, and Life – Every nice guy not getting laid should read this.
The Way of the Superior Man: A Spiritual Guide to Mastering the Challenges of Women, Work, and Sexual Desire – also check out David Deida videos on youtube. There’s a similar book written by a woman called Open Her: Activate 7 Masculine Powers to Arouse Your Woman’s Love and Desire.
She Comes First: The Thinking Man’s Guide to Pleasuring a Woman – If you want to be a better lover to women, you need to know how to give good head.
This is just a starting point. Everyone is unique and there’s so much to explore and learn! If you want more, MORE, I have a looong list of great links posted on my blog in the right-hand column.
john d 2013-04-16 09:38:09
I would like a copy of that list
Castiel 2013-04-16 11:48:41
I’m definitely #5 I guess I’m going to have to meet you to get my good luck rub..hahaha!:)
sera 2013-04-16 21:40:24
I’m *really* impressed by this list. Smart selections!
Kendra Holliday 2013-04-17 10:34:18
Thank you! I love your blog! Gonna go tweet and fb it now!
jinny 2014-02-16 12:42:06
Some, I think, are “all of the above.”
kat&mark 2014-07-09 09:21:24
LOL – #5 – having met and rubbed Kendra, we do consider ourselves lucky…
There is some stigma associated with visiting an “adult toy store”, but if you can get past that you may find it really enjoyable. We first went to find those silly gifts for a bridal shower… my wife didn’t want to go alone, so I reluctantly went with her. We had a hoot looking at all the crazy stuff available. Kat decided that some of the vibrators deserved a try. And we found some books and videos from long ago that we both remembered. I went by myself once to find a gift for her, and discovered that I was much more uncomfortable shopping as a single guy than when she was with me. So get your partner and go… and have fun.
josh 2014-07-19 22:00:34
I’ve only read the Cracked link before, which is a classic. Will have to check out the other links/books – particularly the ones that might get me laid!
Az 2020-04-06 02:45:08
Wow now that’s what I call art
Hector 2021-01-17 02:55:40
Dear Kendra, would you like me to write something about you on my blog? If you are interested, send me an email.
Hector 2021-01-19 03:17:57
Where do you get those letters, Kendra? Is there a place I can send you a latter for you to consider turning into a post on your blog?
Hector 2021-01-19 03:18:36
Sorry, wrong post.
Hector 2022-01-25 17:44:35
Kendra, I found your tortoise counterpart…
Kendra Holliday 2022-01-26 06:13:57
this made me giggle
Mike j 2022-01-27 20:22:24
Love that, got a good chuckle, You Go Girl
Erika 2022-02-03 15:12:47
I have always loved your toy collection ❤️
Antonio D. Jones 2022-03-28 03:58:04
My spouse and I appreciate you for uncovering the LS through your events.
Kendra Holliday 2022-03-28 07:45:28
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