By Kendra Holliday | April 9, 2022
I offer sex and relationship consulting, and I’m happy to say that I’ve been getting more women, LGBT folks, and couples these days. Historically, most of the people who have sought me out for my unique services have been men who crave female energy.
The Top 5 reasons why people contact me are, in this order:
1. He’s a married man in his 50’s or 60’s whose wife is not interested in sex (mismatched libido)
2. He/she/they have some sort of sexual issue they want to work through, such as inexperience, adult virginity, anxiety, trauma, disabilities, or orgasm/genital problems (Erectile Dysfunction is a common complaint – it can get complex when you heap social conditioning and anxiety on top of the natural aging process.)
3. He/she/they are interested in branching out sexually, either because they are in transition, in between relationships, single/divorced/widowed, not getting laid, or curious about alternative lifestyle options (non-monogamy, kink/BDSM, sex work, etc.)
4. He has a fetish and is ashamed/seeking understanding and validation (“Am I normal?!”) or an outlet
5. They want to meet me, and possibly rub me for good luck
My goal is to offer tools, connections, and non-traditional options so that the people seeking me out can reach their goal of becoming happier and healthier. My approach is unconventional, and I get referrals from licensed sex therapists. I’m pretty well connected and have a strong network. Sex is my specialty, which ties into work, family, personal – everything!
Here is a list of resources I most often recommend to my clients:
I share my human sexuality checklist with them and encourage them to fill it out, either solo or with a partner. They can share it with me if they’d like. I also tell couples about this free nifty online tool called Mojo Upgrade that lets you safely discover shared fantasies. (If Mojo Upgrade website is down, you can try this new app called iPassion.)
If they live in St. Louis, I encourage them to get involved with SEX+STL. It’s important to meet like-minded people and have spaces for discussing sexuality.
I recommend they shop for toys online, or visit the Hustler on Natural Bridge Rd or a local couples-friendly adult toy store.
5 MOST RECOMMENDED LINKS
Also, all the links in the right side column of my website are great! Mouse over them for a description.
7+ MOST RECOMMENDED BOOKS
The Bonobo Way: The Evolution of Peace by Pleasure – How to liberate your sexuality! Everyone interested in attending my TBK play parties should read this!
Sex at Dawn: How We Mate, Why We Stray, and What It Means for Modern Relationships – Why people fall into the mentality that spouses = property
Opening Up: A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships – Great guide for non-monogamy. A new one out is called More Than Two: A Practical Guide to Ethical Polyamory
The Gift of Fear and Other Survival Signals that Protect Us From Violence – Every woman should read this.
No More Mr. Nice Guy: A Proven Plan for Getting What You Want in Love, Sex, and Life – Every nice guy not getting laid should read this.
The Way of the Superior Man: A Spiritual Guide to Mastering the Challenges of Women, Work, and Sexual Desire – also check out David Deida videos on youtube. There’s a similar book written by a woman called Open Her: Activate 7 Masculine Powers to Arouse Your Woman’s Love and Desire.
She Comes First: The Thinking Man’s Guide to Pleasuring a Woman – If you want to be a better lover to women, you need to know how to give good head.
This is just a starting point. Everyone is unique and there’s so much to explore and learn! If you want more, MORE, I have a looong list of great links posted on my blog in the right-hand column.