My Solo Tantra Awakening Ritual

By Kendra Holliday | February 13, 2021

Sacred stones and yoni eggs

Sacred stones and yoni eggs

Ed Note: I wrote this post a few years ago, but it’s more important than ever!

Since I’ve been back from Tantra Training, I’ve practiced the Tantra Awakening Ritual with several of my friends and clients.

But get this – you can also perform the ritual solo!

To learn how, you can read Barbara Carrellas’s book Urban Tantra: Sacred Sex for the Twenty-first Century.

It’s actually super easy to do, but it helps to be coached through it your first time. I read Barbara’s book thrice before I went to her workshop, and it was only there that I was able to “get it,” with her walking me through it.

UPDATE: Now you can DOWNLOAD her 30 minute guided meditation here. Best $15 I’ve ever spent!

Tantra is like the City Museum in St Louis or House on the Rock in Wisconsin, or many other exotic and unique places in the world – it’s hard to explain it, you just have to experience it for yourself. And you can experience it WHENEVER YOU WANT, FOR FREE.

Tantra is about weaving and building energy, being present, and opening yourself up to a deeper level of consciousness.

Awakening is rousing, getting in touch with parts of yourself you have buried or ignored. This can be spiritual, mental, or physical. So often we feel disconnected from our bodies, we’re so in our head thinking and worrying so much. REPLACE THE FEAR WITH LOVE.

Rituals are tools that help us focus our attention.

The first time I did the solo ritual, I was in a roomful of people, which might sound like an oxymoron, but we weren’t interacting physically with each other. We all lay supine on the floor separately, and Barbara encouraged us to breathe deeply, go with the flow, and make noise if we wanted to. Having other people’s energy present made it more intense – I heard heavy breathing, crying out, moaning, sobbing… I myself felt great tingling and waves of emotions, and then cried cathartic tears afterward.

Naturally, I wanted to try it at home by myself. Ideally, I’d like to schedule this self-care weekly. You can knock it out in 30 minutes, or you can turn it into a more elaborate ritual.

For my first solo ritual at home, I chose a planets and elements theme.

I collect a lot of stones from Mystic Valley. I also incorporated my yoni eggs.

Beautiful stones

Beautiful stones

I arranged my stones and planetary glasses carefully, then filled each glass with water and placed a stone or two inside each one. I also lit a couple candles. (Water is female energy; fire is male energy.)

My own constellation

My own constellation

I stripped and lay down on the soft white area rug in my bedroom with my knees bent (you can lie however you feel most comfortable), and lined my body on either side with chakra stones – red down by my root (aka butt), and clear up above my crown (head).

My planetary elemental setup

My planetary elemental setup

I inserted my favorite yoni egg in my vagina. Then, I set a timer for 20 minutes and let myself go.

I surrendered.

I breathed deeper and longer than usual. I allowed my breath to move beyond my lungs and circulate throughout my body. I felt it move down my legs and arms, into my feet and hands. I felt it push up over my head. I felt it circle and spark like electricity.

I let my instincts guide me, so I found myself humming and moaning, and bouncing my hips up and down. While I am very much in touch with my pussy, I feel blockage in my belly, probably from my hysterectomy and other traumas.

I drifted off into a different state of mind, all the while breathing deeply and with intention. Focusing on breathing helps keep you present.

When the gentle alarm went off, I breathed in as deep as I could, and held it for as long as possible. I clenched all my muscles and imagined pushing through the floor, down into the earth…

Then, I relaxed and let go… and the most amazing waves of ecstasy flooded my body. I felt so incredibly high and euphoric. I couldn’t stop laughing. I wept spontaneously. I was high on oxygen and energy – two things that are free and readily available to us, should we choose to harness them.

Giddy, I stood up and drank from each of the charged glasses of water. I drank every glass except the large one representing the Sun – I removed the stone egg from my vagina and plopped it in there. Then I slipped on a gown and took it outside to charge further in the warm sun.

The sun in my womb

The sun in my womb

After a while, I drank that glass, and it tasted like warm lake water, due to the vaginal tidal pool influence. Below you can see my bloodstone, sunstone, and tiger’s eye yoni eggs. Gorgeous!

Mmm pussy juice cocktail

Mmm pussy juice cocktail

In retrospect, I probably shouldn’t have drank 80 ozs of water, some of it bacterial laden, in the course of an hour, but it felt right at the time, and I didn’t suffer any repercussions. Plus, that night I was helping to facilitate a female ejaculation workshop, so it was only fitting I would drink from the overflowing cup of feminine divine.

I was so high on oxygen! I sparkled and floated for a couple days afterward. It was amazing magic – and it is all around you: male energy, female energy, oxygen, the elements earth, water, fire, air – you just have to step back from all the daily distractions and get back to your roots.


william c nixon 2020-08-01 20:34:13

i want to know more to unserstand


connie throop 2020-10-23 17:25:13

DAMN!!! I have a male friend who has been practicing Tantra for many years and he tells me about his mind-blowing body orgasms.

I would love to learn Tantra and female ejaculation, are you teaching classes or individuals in the age of Covid?


John Wocken 2021-02-09 19:53:17

What is the best guide for a single man who, given the COVID situation may be single awhile, and yet wants to learn the skills in order to be a better lover in future relationships?


    Kendra Holliday 2021-02-10 05:54:07

    Where are you located? One of my fav dating/relationship sites for men is
    One of my fav sex ed sites is
    I just learned of this woman, she’s great!
    Let me know if you’d like to discuss this topic in depth (and anything else) by scheduling a consult with me.


      John Wocken 2021-02-10 18:41:12

      I am in Waco, Texas.

      I have seen a lot of books, online teaching seminars, etc. – many promise the sun, the moon and the stars. Not saying I am skeptical, clearly the Tantric practices go back centuries with documented benefits. I guess what I am trying to say is that I am in a place in life where I have the time and desire to put in the work. I am not looking for fast and easy results, but I want to learn from the best and to develop a plan that will lead to noticeable results and eventually better intimacy and sex in my future relationships.


        Kendra Holliday 2021-02-11 06:52:11

        I know what you mean. A lot of people think tantra is giving a man a fancy handjob, but it’s much more than that. Tantra means “to weave”, and we are weaving so much into our spirit – our ancestors, nature, body and breath… This $15 30 min guided meditation is so worthwhile and accessible, you just reminded me to do it myself this morning, thank you so much!


          John Wocken 2021-02-11 16:56:55

          Thank you, Kendra! I took your advice, and downloaded this. I think this is going to be a great tool in my tantric journey. I wish I had known about this a year ago, as I have never had a year of such solitude, but I feel empowered that I have a chance to improve myself in a meaningful way starting today! Yay!

          Kendra Holliday 2021-02-12 04:31:30

          I’m so glad! I did this solo meditation yesterday, and as usual, it was an incredible all-body experience, whew! I’m always moved to tears. I think it offers so many benefits, both physically and spiritually.

John Wocken 2021-02-12 19:41:13

I am practically speechless. After only two days, all I can say is, I cannot believe all that I experienced. 30 minutes went by in a flash. So I “cheated” and did it again…..2x both days! Thank you, Kendra! By the way, when I read you were “moved to tears” I thought, “whatever”. Not rolling my eyes any longer! I felt a rush of emotions that shocked me! wow!


    Kendra Holliday 2021-02-13 08:01:03

    You just spent $15 on a natural drug you can use anytime! I’m so glad you gave yourself this gift! It makes me feel so high and ALIVE. Much gratitude to Barbara Carrellas. xoxo


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