Make Love, Not Porn, Revisited

Ten years ago, I joined MakeLoveNotPorn.tv

after watching Cindy Gallop’s provocative TED talk (you can go watch it, it’s 4 min long). I wrote about it in this blog post from 2012.

And then, I wandered off, chasing butterflies, having adventures, making dreams come true, getting into trouble, lots of distractions…

Ten years later, I came across this interview by Sexologist Dr. Martha Tara Lee of Eros Coaching, featuring MakeLoveNotPorn.tv’s Founder, Cindy Gallop…

and I instantly felt ENERGIZED

Here is why:

At the 2:50 mark, Dr. Martha came out of the gate very vulnerable, revealing something personal and emotional. I was immediately hooked.

At the 5 min mark, Cindy talks about role models and living life on her own terms.

At the 6 min mark, Cindy talks about personal experience witnessing two things converge – wide access to hardcore porn online + our society’s unwillingness to talk openly and honestly about sex = hardcore porn becomes many people’s sex education by default.

We need better communication about sex, in public with others, and in private with our partners.

At the 13 min mark, Cindy talks about real world sex, which is different than amateur porn – it is social sex, kind of like Facebook or YouTube, if they allowed sexual expression. As Dr Martha points out, “It is normalizing, reassuring, and healing.”

At 17:50 mark, Cindy talks about how makelovenotporn.tv is for EVERYONE, but she mostly gets emails from men, who are astonished at how emotional and vulnerable they got watching the real world sex video clips.

MakeLoveNotPorn.tv literally saves marriages, improves communication among lovers, fights rape culture and brings us one step closer to world peace, enlightens and educates people all over the world… talk about sexual liberation!

At 22:40 mark, Cindy asks, “What are your sexual values?”

What a great question!!!

At 25:42, Cindy talks about how parents buy their kids subscriptions to MakeLoveNotPorn.tv so they can see what happy, healthy loving relationships look like.

At 30 min mark, Cindy talks about how challenging it is to get funding or advertise, because the fine print always says, “No adult content.”

I’ve run into that roadblock so many times in my career – getting censored, penalized, banned… so frustrating!!

At 34:40 mark, Dr Martha talks about sex laws and repression in Singapore, which was very interesting.

At 45:40 mark, they both talk about how difficult it is to be a female sex-positive activist and entrepreneur – AMEN, sisters! I can relate to that – over the past decade, I’ve suffered persecution, stalkers, online trolls, disrespectful men, burnout and breakdowns… PHEW!

But, we persevere. And, sometimes, breakdowns can become breakthroughs.

What a booster shot of sex-positivity!

THANK YOU, Dr Martha Tara Lee and Cindy Gallop. You’re my SHEROES.

Get your real world sex education NOW and subscribe to MakeLoveNotPorn.tv – I just bought the special Cindy birthday bundle!

And I’ll wear my birthday suit while I watch! 😉

Kendra Holliday in all her glory