I Got Hired

By Kendra Holliday | September 23, 2011

I’m employable.

My hard working lady of leisure days are over.

A company that believes I’m an asset, not a liability, is hiring me to join their team, and not a moement too soon.

My life line dwindled from rope, to kite string, to dental floss, and I could barely hang on anymore.

I bought my charming little fairy cottage three years ago, and got laid off from my last full-time job that same month.

The only things you need are a roof over your head, food in your belly, and people who love you.

I never wanted for love, though at times I felt unworthy. I was so scared of being homeless, and there were many days where I didn’t know where my next meal was coming from. Thank you to everyone who sustained me.

Can you imagine being out of work for six months?

A year?

Two years?

Three years?

Always looking for the beauty in life

Incredibly, I managed to somehow pay my mortgage each month by being as creative – and desperate – as possible.

Figure modeling

Sex work

Medical studies

Cleaning basements

Gynecological teaching

Data entry

Shaving my head

Making audio tapes for the visually impaired


Sex and relationship consultations (I’m still offering those!)

Then there was that short stint with the company that fired me after they found out about my website – a crushing blow.

I begged and borrowed, but never stole.

On top of that, there is the custody battle – that dark cloud has been hanging over my head for the past year, and we’re finally getting thisclose to resolving it. Please consider donating if you haven’t already – my legal bills are staggering.

It hasn’t been easy.

My daughter has been having issues at school. I’ve been volunteering in the school library, reading heaps of parenting books, and attending mother/daughter workshops.

I’ve incurred some debt in the process. In desperation, I took out a $4000 loan on my credit card in order to pay my mortgage.

I was agonizing over whether to cash in the retirement investment I swore I would never touch.

And then –

A friend in my network connected me to a company in St Louis where my website is a non-issue.

They gave me a chance, and agreed to interview me.

And now they’re hiring me.

They trust I’ll do a good job and know how to behave and conduct myself. It’s a really good feeling to be trusted in that way, after being shut out of so many places. I’m so grateful to be given the opportunity to prove myself.

Even if every single person in the company doesn’t believe exactly what I believe in, they will still respect me and trust I’ll do a good job and be a valuable member of the team . They realize that whatever I do on my personal time is my business and does not affect my professional life. Their human kindness will pay off in a loyal, devoted employee.

The night they called to offer me the job, I sobbed with relief. Instead of whooping it up celebrating, I felt stunned at the realization of how close I am came to losing almost everything. Many a night I lay in bed imagining who I would give what possession to, because I wouldn’t be able to afford a storage unit once I lost my house.

It gets better.

But now I get to stay.

I feel like I’ve been pushed out of the way of an oncoming bus, instead of thrown under it. I feel like the mama dog who finally gets rescued from the dog pound after all her puppies have been adopted.

I thought about all the parties I’ve attended the past year where I was supposed to bring a dish, a bottle of wine, or a birthday gift for a child, and arrived empty handed, I was always embarrassed, but I showed up anyway. I still donated to other causes whenever I could, and my only luxuries were Netflix and Sunday NYTimes. If I bought a skirt or book, I felt so guilty.

My dad, partner and friends helped me over and over, with car repairs, gas money, and groceries. I went to a food pantry for six months.

Now I can get my dryer fixed; it’s been broken for weeks. Once I get back on my feet, I can better help others. I’m so proud of all the volunteer work I’ve done the past few years.

And now, The Beautiful Kind is starting to grow. Our first advertiser on the site is coming up! Our new show with sponsors debuts Oct 4. I have a book proposal being considered by a publisher. I’m presenting at Show Me the Blog next month, and Playground Conference in November.

I’m not sure how I’ll be able to keep up with everything, but my new job and my daughter will be my top priorities, along with my relationship. I can’t tell you how many times my partner Matthew talked me down off the ledge. He gives amazing sanity checks.

I’m so glad I don’t have to choose between a full-time job and my sex-positive activism – The Beautiful Kind and Sex Positive St. Louis.

My life will be even more full of passion and possibility.

It gets better.

Photos by Steve Truesdell


Graham S 2011-09-23 07:24:35

🙂 Congratulations Kendra and thanks for continuing to be such an inspiration through your difficult times xG


arSah 2011-09-23 08:40:43

Congratulations! No one is more deserving of a change of luck than you. Great to see a employer that sees you for you, and your potential! Best of luck to you darlin’!


fguy 2011-09-23 08:50:38

Congrates!!! Thank you for all of your advice and hand holding and soul searching. You have such a wonderful personality and heart to help me when I was so far down that the bottom of dumpster seemed to high to reach for.

You know that if you need anything just ask.




ActivateThePlatforms 2011-09-23 09:20:49

This is beyond awesome! No-one deserved a break more than you.


lunamax 2011-09-23 09:46:55



Mon Mon 2011-09-23 10:57:14

Congratulations! :heart:


himself 2011-09-23 11:10:48

{Doin’ a Happy Dance right here in Starbucks}

That’s WONDERFUL, Kendra, I’m SOOOO happy for you. Way to Go! Congratulations and Hey, you DESERVED it.


Tashlan 2011-09-23 14:32:33

Awesome! I’m very happy to hear this. Keep moving forward, don’t slow down now, and good luck in your new role. I’m sure you’ll do great.


Santa 2011-09-23 15:31:15

I’m so Happy for you Kendra!!!

Maybe for Christmas you will sit on my lap again! 😉


ColinSTL 2011-09-23 17:24:18

Said this on your Facebook page, and now very glad to say this here–MEGA CONGRATS KENDRA!!!!! Now it’s my turn to be very happy for you–and you more than deserve this too! *big time hugs* Good luck with everything–Brent and I are sending you our good and kind thoughts! 😀


EvanderS 2011-09-23 20:39:50

Well Done!


Joyce C. 2011-09-23 21:59:56

Whoo Hoo!!! So Happy for you Kendra!!! This is the beginning of a beautiful new chapter in your life!! I just KNOW you will be a great asset to this new employer!! You Rock! :heart: CONGRATS!!!! :heart:


Buddha 2011-09-24 00:59:59

I’m glad it’s all working out… 🙂


bob 2011-09-24 02:14:46

Congrats. I am sure you realize that this will be the start of your financial recovery. As with anything you will look back on this in a few years and see how much you have progressed. You stuck to your principles and decided that they were worth sacrificing everything for. Not many people have the guts to do that. Good for you. Good luck on your new position.


fuzzilla 2011-09-24 10:48:41

I’m so thrilled for you, Kendra! ;o) What a dramatic turn of events! What a MASSIVE relief!!


Lionman 2011-09-24 11:13:43

Glad to hear your good news. Sounds like all directions are positive for your future.


bas bleu 2011-09-24 13:47:06

I am happy to hear your good news. Celebrate!


RainMan 2011-09-24 14:45:28

Awesome news, Kendra! Hopefully this is the turning point for everything.


Creideiki 2011-09-25 09:21:41

Great news! I hope this is just the beginning of better times ahead for you.


RedHotGeorgia 2011-09-26 00:42:01

I am proud to be your friend…Congrats…*sniff


Coy Pink 2011-09-26 14:03:52

What wonderful news! I hope this job turns out to be the wonderful opportunity it appears to be. You certainly deserve a break!


1Phoenix 2011-09-26 19:12:15

fantastic news, I am proud to call you and Matthew friends, you have done many good things over the last year with so little at your disposal and never buckled under the pressure, maybe had a few leak’s it happens to the best of us.

you are an intelligent, beautiful, creative, strong woman Kendra never forget that.

I am truly ecstatic with you and for you.

I really need to get back to STL for a little visit.


Hypocrite 2011-09-29 12:00:20

I’m so happy to hear this. Congratulations!


Question 2011-10-14 00:05:59



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