My client typed this into ChatGPT about me: “Compose a poem about a great 50-year-old woman who sees clients in her own home.”

ChatGPT 3.5:

Happy Spring!

A woman of fifty, wise and bold,
With stories to tell and hearts to hold,
She welcomes all into her home,
Where comfort and kindness are freely shown.

Her clients come with weary hearts,
Seeking solace from life’s many parts,
And there she sits with gentle grace,
Listening with a warm embrace.

Her words are wise, her touch is kind,
A healing balm for troubled minds,
And when they leave, they feel renewed,
Their spirits lifted, their hearts imbued.

For many years she’s lived this way,
Serving others day by day,
And though the years have come and gone,
Her spirit shines, a radiant dawn.

So here’s to this great woman we praise,
Whose kindness touches many in countless ways,
May her home always be a haven of peace,
Where hearts are healed and troubles cease.

SMILE!

Three is my magic number.

I was born 3-23-73.

I’m really good at threesomes. 🙂

I have sacred feminine triangles all over my body – my hairy underarms and pubic hair represents one; my breasts and belly represent another.

I find that my life is best balanced when I’m nurturing these three things:

Professional career – represented by my site Be Open and Honest

Personal life – represented by this blog!

Philanthropic endeavors – represented by Sex Positive St. Louis, my all-volunteer community organization

Sometimes, things get out of whack, and my personal life suffers, or my volunteer efforts lag, but I’ve found that the best way to keep things balanced is to ENFORCE MY BOUNDARIES.

I know my boundaries, but they’re forever being pushed by other people and forces, and it’s exhausting! They don’t mean to do it, but that’s life as a sex worker whose motto is: NEVER BORED.

Here are some examples of my boundaries:

• I won’t commit to sharing intimate space with people sight unseen.
• I always use condoms with intercourse. I don’t let random men rub their penis on my vulva.
• I don’t allow cum in my mouth. I don’t swallow.
• I don’t receive anal. It’s not an erogenous zone for me. But I’ll gladly give it! 😉
• I do things on my own terms. If someone contacts me and wants to work with me but doesn’t want to follow my guidelines, then I don’t work with them. I have my protocols in place for a reason – mainly, to keep me safe.

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You know how they talk about baggage, being in the closet, etc.?

Everyone has baggage – daddy issues, mommy issues, family pain, abandonment issues, trust issues, inexperienced issues, break up trauma, secrets, shame, guilt, neglect, abuse, loss, betrayal, injury, fear, rejection…

I like to pretend our head is an attic, and our brain is an old fashioned trunk, crammed full of stuff we’ve collected from our travels.

What’s in your trunk?

Space is really tight, and the stuff is jammed in there.

So, I propose this exercise to my clients.

Find the key that opens the trunk.

A skeleton key, for the skeletons in your closet

Open that trunk up.

Now, take ALL the stuff out of it – toss it around the room.

Examine each article – is it a piece of clothing? Is it a toy? Is it wrinkled? Is it moldy? Does it still fit? Do you want to keep it?

Address and assess each item. Acknowledge why it’s in your trunk, and decide if it’s something you want to hang on to.

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Here’s how to get over your body image issues:

1. Do a nude photo session

2. Get naked in front of other people

Huh, what??

Let me explain.

It’s been almost a year since my hysterectomy surgery. I’m all better, but I’ve noticed my body shifting and changing. I have scars on my tummy now, and fat has gathered around my middle. Sometimes I sit around and feel gross about it. I feel like my clothes are tight. I try eating better. I try being more active.

Last Saturday, I had two events on my calendar: a nude photoshoot with a girlfriend and photographer friend of mine, and a clothing optional pool party. Ugh, being naked around other people was the LAST thing I wanted to do. I yearned to hide under my covers in a comfy nightie instead, but I’m not one to flake out on people just because I’m not feeling it. I tend to push myself to follow through with things I’ve committed to, because it usually works out for the best.

At the photoshoot, I shared my body image concerns with Bianca and Stan. Bianca looked so beautiful and graceful. Stan assured me that I still looked mighty fine and not that much different from when he first started photographing me five years ago. I started to relax, and walked around the studio naked as if it was the most natural thing in the world, because it WAS.

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Kendra Holliday will help you work the kinks out!

I offer sex and relationship consulting, and I’m happy to say that I’ve been getting more women, LGBT folks, and couples these days. Historically, most of the people who have sought me out for my unique services have been men who crave female energy.

The Top 5 reasons why people contact me are, in this order:

1. He’s a married man in his 50’s or 60’s whose wife is not interested in sex (mismatched libido)

2. He/she/they have some sort of sexual issue they want to work through, such as inexperience, adult virginity, anxiety, trauma, disabilities, or orgasm/genital problems (Erectile Dysfunction is a common complaint – it can get complex when you heap social conditioning and anxiety on top of the natural aging process.)

3. He/she/they are interested in branching out sexually, either because they are in transition, in between relationships, single/divorced/widowed, not getting laid, or curious about alternative lifestyle options (non-monogamy, kink/BDSM, sex work, etc.)

4. He has a fetish and is ashamed/seeking understanding and validation (“Am I normal?!”) or an outlet

5. They want to meet me, and possibly rub me for good luck

———

My goal is to offer tools, connections, and non-traditional options so that the people seeking me out can reach their goal of becoming happier and healthier. My approach is unconventional, and I get referrals from licensed sex therapists. I’m pretty well connected and have a strong network. Sex is my specialty, which ties into work, family, personal – everything!

Here is a list of resources I most often recommend to my clients:

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A very happy and shiny Kendra Holliday

Confession: My email inbox stocking is stuffed full of inquiries.

Right now, I have about 65 people waiting to hear from me, dating back two months. 🙁 I reply to as many as sweet souls as I can every day, in between sessions and other duties and obligations. (BTW: If you’re waiting for an email from me, check your spam folder. My domain name is blacklisted due to my web host allowing adult content.)

Ideally, I’d like to get back to people within 48 hours, but I’m just one person, and I often get sucked into my menopause mood swings and my dad’s illness – he has mid-stage dementia and I’m his primary care partner. I’ve learned that it is extremely draining to be someone’s quality-of-life support, someone’s seeing eye brain, someone’s backup human being. Even though he lives in assisted living, he depends on me for just about everything.

(As an aside, I’m astonished that I used to have FIVE creatures dependent on me – both my sick parents, my two old cats, and a daughter. All that is left is my dad. I swore to my mother on her death bed that I would take care of him, and I’ve assured him that I will be there for him, for as long as he needs me.)

So all this is to say, I try my best to help others in between my mental health issues and family duties. I’m eager to help people who understand and respect my process. 🙂

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Disclaimer: I wrote this a long time ago, and it never seemed to fit the vibe of this blog, so I’ve never published it here, or anywhere. It ALMOST made it in BUST magazine, but they chose an essay about male strippers instead.

I was in a very different place 20+ years ago, but since I mentioned it in the post yesterday about Jobs I Have Had, I decided to follow up with this.

Do you know, strippers in 2021 still make the same amount of money I made in 1991?!

Stripping.

I had this gig was when I was 19 (I’m 48 now). I was pretty much trapped in a bad spot – kicked out of my house, no money, no car, dead end job.

I didn’t know what to do. So one day, a girlfriend and I decided to check out the strip clubs on the East Side. I called a place at random, and asked if they hired girls who had no boobs and couldn’t dance. She said sure, gave me directions, and told me to come in for an “interview.”

So I saved up money for a down payment on the cheapest car I could find, and we drove over there.

It was SO frightening entering that place. It was like a haunted house, but it was in the afternoon, and the building sat on a gravel parking lot in Washington Park like an overgrown mobile home. It was called Mainstreet.

Quaking, my friend and I entered. It was really dark, and we had to go up some stairs. There was a bouncer at the door, a 6’6″ black man named Humphrey who directed us to the bartender, who was in charge. She was very tan, busty, and abrupt, and our “interview” consisted of us being taken back to the dressing room, and being told to lift our shirts. I guess she was checking for scars, or a hairy chest or something.

We filled out an application (the whole purpose being to get in writing that you’re 18), and we were hired.

I gave my employer two weeks notice, and soon it was my first day to report to the strip club. I was SOO nervous, because guess what?

Me circa this era, in the great outdoors and not in a gross strip club

I was on my own.

My friend chickened out. (It’s almost unheard of for a woman to just walk into a strip joint out of the blue and get a job there. Women usually wind up there because a friend they party with or relative works there.)

My first day was TERRIFYING. I was paired up with a sweet-n-stupid girl with bleach blond curls and pink lipstick named “Sassy,” who took one look at me and gave me the name “Glamour.” Can you believe that was my stage name?? Isn’t it SO Seven Dwarfs?

She lent me high heels, and for the first time in my life, I got up on a stage and took my clothes off in front of a bunch of strange men 20 years older than me. Can you imagine doing that right now? Can you imagine doing that as a teenager?

We hustled the guys all day, and I went home feeling very dirty and exhausted. And that’s the way I felt for next nine months. I was in my prime and desired by many, but absolutely LOATHED myself.

The strip club I worked at was owned by a nasty man in his 50’s named Tom Venezia, and his 25 yr old son, Milan Venezia. They were SLEAZY all right, and were involved in all kinds of illegal activity, and had loads of money. Milan thought he was hot stuff, so did his dad. They would pick the hardest, bitchiest princess girls and SHARE them, and of course the “chosen ones” thought they were something else, too. They’d run the bar, like the one who hired me.

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This week I had one of my yearly photoshoots with one of my favorite people, Stan Strembicki!

Kendra Holliday

We’ve been doing about two shoots a year since 2007 maybe? Sometimes solo, sometimes with friends, sometimes as a group. Mostly in his studio, but sometimes in the woods, in abandoned buildings…

But one thing is for sure – I’m always NAKED.

Many of the photos on this blog are by Stan. He took my Coming Out photos in 2010! This was one of those:

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