By Kendra Holliday | October 21, 2021
Category Archives: Fetishes
I caught this exchange on a sex blog the other day:
“Is fisting painful?”
The sex blogger replied:
Two insidious suppositions haunt any discussion of fisting. First, that it will stretch out the vagina to cavern-like dimensions; and second, that it will hurt. Neither is true…
Remove the fist and the vagina does not hang open like the lips of a mouth-breather. It snaps back. Really. Maybe I should post some before and after photos some day?
In the comments, I volunteered to do an explicit photo series, because that’s what occurs to me when I catch wind of something sexually daring, unlike most people who read about it, nod with curiosity, and then go on about their business.
I enlisted my dear friend Rockabilly Girl to do the fisting, and Matthew to take pics.
Get this: I was featured in Hustler magazine earlier this year, and they asked if they could run this photo series. At first I was shocked at the idea, but then I decided it would be pretty fucking cool to rock the fisting in a national hardcore porn mag!
So they made everyone sign releases and submit photo ID’s, including Rockabilly Girl, whose fist is the only thing you see in the pics (until it goes in my vagina).
Then, after weeks of legal paperwork and emails back and forth, Hustler decided against running the pics after all. Too edgy.
But not for me! I think it’s natural, lovely, and intensely beautiful.
So here you go.
By Kendra Holliday | August 23, 2021
So, last month, I had a breakdown. I got really mentally and physically ill for a few days. I could barely function – my heart raced, my blood pressure was high, I was sobbing and puking, etc…
This wasn’t my first episode like this – I’ve had a few – due to menopause, hormones, overheating, stress, alcohol abuse, grief, family issues (my dad has dementia), burnout…
This time, I think what caused me to crash and burn was scheduling several intense sessions the week after I got back from vacation.
This is nothing against the lovely men I played with, or the scene topics, but I’ve found that some sessions affect me more than others.
My easy sessions involve surrogate work, TLC, sensual, playful topics.
The more challenging sessions for me these days involve more corporal, kinky, dark fantasies and roleplays. They’re a lot of fun, but they can be very draining, and sometimes it takes me a couple days to recover from the emotional hangover. It didn’t use to be that way – I used to move on quicker. That makes me wonder, is it worth it to me to do these types of sessions? Why do I feel more anxious before some sessions than with others?
I often hear from clients about a Dominatrix they were fond of, but the Domme retired “after a few months.” I wonder why that is? And how do some Dommes make it a decades-long career? Does it depend on their personality? (I’m an INFJ – I feel A LOT).
By Kendra Holliday | December 4, 2020
So many men are sick from toxic masculinity in our society. They have to be very manly, which involves taking care of business, being in charge, hiding feelings, and burying their feminine side.
Yet, they crave a place where they can surrender to a strong, sexually confident woman and be awash in female energy and power exchange. They want to be cared for. They want youthful female energy. They want mature female energy.
So they contact me requesting help with exploring their sexuality, but then proceed to railroad me and call the porn shots and trample all over the sensual process and fuck it up. So frustrating!
Here’s a Dan Savage podcast where a man wants to know how to get his vanilla wife to like domming and pegging him. Go to the 8:35 mark and listen.
Dan points out that for some women, this can feel more like work than fun, so he suggests backing things up. For a woman not used to being sexually dominant, a good place for her to start is to think about what she wants right now and demanding it.
But what if what she wants right now is a cup of tea? Will that disappoint her partner? Will taking small steps like this lead them to a place where they both feel fulfillment?
I get a lot of men who tell me, “I want to please you.”
But then, when I tell them what I want, they steer things back to what THEY have in mind.
If you want me to peg you, piss on you, sit on your face, objectify you, humiliate you, rub your naked body while you talk on the phone, that’s totally fine! You’re hiring me to perform a service, and I am happy to oblige. I have so much fun being creative sexually! I like taking care of you.
But don’t get it twisted. Are you doing this for you, or are you doing this for me?
Prepping for a session takes work, so not only are you paying for the time we are mentally and physically engaged, but you are paying for the hour before and after. I have to dress up in uncomfortable lingerie and heels and get into the right head space. I have to clean up afterward.
If you REALLY want to please me, here are some ideas:
By Kendra Holliday | May 1, 2020
I did this video announcing my new project: No Shave May!
I already have a head start with it, see? My pubes are trying to bust their way out of my lace panties!
I can’t get any of my lace panties to hold up these days. I’ve taken to hand washing and trying not to be too sexy for them.
I find the difference between guys who are into shaved heads and the guys who are into natural women fascinating. As a group, the shaved head guys came off as more entitled and disconnected, as if they owned every bald female head. Even though they claimed a woman with a shaved head was a sign of powerful confidence, they seemed to secretly get off on the humiliation factor.
The hairy armpit guys are more respectful and kind. I guess they are hippies after my own heart! These guys see hairy underarms as a badge of sensuality and supreme confidence.
I wonder how big my bush will get. I can’t remember the last time it was fully grown out. I’ll keep you posted on how my hair growth progresses!
By Kendra Holliday | November 6, 2019
My friend Joan Price introduced me to Galen Fous MTP, the author of this book, and right away I could see why – he’s a Dominant father in his 60’s living on the west coast, and I am a submissive mother in my 40’s living in the Midwest, but we have SO much in common!
We’re both completely out and open about our kinky and creative sexualities. We both went through hell and almost lost everything when we came out with our stories (his outing was forced by his ex; mine was more my choice). We both persevered and are now fully integrated and have a career in the field of sexuality.
Galen’s book is called Decoding Your Kink: Guide to Explore Share and Enjoy Your Wildest Sexual Desires.
As I read his book, I was amazed at how much it mirrored my thoughts on sex and our unhealthy society.
We both subscribe to the King and Queen archetype, and to the beauty of rituals. Galen points out that rituals are tools that help us focus our attention. Natural and innate, rituals are all around us – seasons, rhythms, holidays…
By Kendra Holliday | September 29, 2019
One year on Twitter, I listed one of my fetishes every day.
Fetish: something that sexually charms you.
I went back and looked at the list and was turned on and amused!
Here is the list in its entirety – I replaced about ten of them. If I’ve featured one in a post, I will link it to that post.
Mmmm, I want them ALL! Do any themes jump out at you? It’s clear I’m into hair, booze, and incest!
What about you – how many things turn YOU on?
1. Hairy chest
2. Steel handcuffs
3. Having my lingerie ripped (panties, stockings, fishnets)
7. Redheaded women
8. Pre-1968 Elvis
9. Reaction cologne
11. Sleeping Beauty
13. Feeling hard cock through jeans/pants
14. Incest Fantasies
18. My man’s cum inside my pussy
20. Japanese Gardens
22. Bruce Springsteen
24. Bubble baths
25. Magic Wand
28. Arched doorways
29. A REAL beard
30. Mood lighting
33. Long skirts
35. Victorian Homes
37. Hairy underarms
41. Classical music
43. V-Safe Men
45. Period films
By Kendra Holliday | June 9, 2019
Took this pic spontaneously the other day – just bent over and snapped a turtle’s eye view real quick. You can tell it’s unplanned because my undies don’t match – silly red Christmas theme with Scotties. Christmas in June!
I love this dress.
By Kendra Holliday | May 17, 2019
I got new undies from Victoria’s Secret from a friend, and henna from another friend! Too bad it’s so faded here, it only lasts about two weeks:
Here’s a colorful pair!
Ahhhh they’re radioactive! 😉
By Kendra Holliday | April 24, 2019
My friend wrote this essay on Daddy Doms, and wow did it hit home. I’ve been thinking about it ever since I read it on FetLife (republished here with permission):
“I have been asked several times what a Daddy Dom is. First, I want everyone to know it has NOTHING to do with incest, and it isn’t ageplay or any fetish to do with children. I can only say what it means to me; others may have a different impression.
In my view, a Daddy Dom is the most tender of all Dominants. He loves His little one with an undying passion. He always has his submissive’s best interest in mind, even when it conflicts with his personal desires. That doesn’t mean that he gives into her every whim. There can be a huge difference in her desires and her real needs. He has to be able to make that sacrifice for her if need be. And yes, at times he does punish her. This usually hurts him just as much if not more than her, but he will always do what’s best for her.
He helps her set and reach her goals in life, not just in the lifestyle. He will help her improve herself to be the best she can be, not for HIM but for her ! He’s not just looking to make her a better submissive, but a better person in general.
He becomes many things in her life, a mentor, a teacher, a protector, a guide, AND… a lover! He offers her what she needs most of all, unconditional love and acceptance. He is consistent in his actions so that she knows what to expect from him. She knows she can depend on him!
He wants nothing more than to pull her close and protect her from the cruel world. But knowing all along that he can’t! SO … it is up to him to prepare her for whatever life may throw her way and be there to comfort her when things go wrong. Knowing she will run to him when she becomes overwhelmed or frightened. The Daddy Dom will listens to all her fears and concerns, knowing no matter how silly they may sound, to her they are real and he will help her confront them. He slays her dragons; he is her “Knight in Shining Armor”.
The Daddy Dom hears all her dreams, desires and all the dirty little secrets, and smiles because she is bold enough and loves him enough to open herself up so totally to him. He kisses her face and holds her close letting her know she is loved no matter what. She is His little one, and he loves her unconditionally.
There is nothing more satisfying to him than to see her succeed, to watch as she grows as a person. He revels in her daily accomplishments almost as much as she does herself.
He will cuddle her and show her the tenderness she craves when she needs it., when she feels unsure of herself he will whisper encouraging words for her. When she feels ugly he will reassure her how beautiful she is to him … when she is scared he will be her safety net. She is his pride and joy … his main comfort in life … his reason for living. His pride in her shows in the tender loving way he cares for her. Even though she is all woman, she is his little one and he is her Daddy! Just remember, he may be a Daddy, but he is still a Dom!”
By Kendra Holliday | March 9, 2019
|Minx Grrl loves puppy play!
My friend RainMan shared this remarkable first date story with me. Here it is, in his own words:
She came out of my bedroom on all fours, naked save a leather collar and leash. A vibrator was clamped between her teeth. She crawled over to the couch and dropped the vibe into my lap, staring up at me expectantly.
The night had started out normal enough. A fun date and back to my place. So what in the hell was this?! At this stage in my so far vanilla life, anal was exotic. I’d never encountered pet play before, hell I’d never even heard of it!
My mind raced. Is she supposed to be a dog? What am I supposed to do? And where the hell did the leash and vibrator come from? Was she carrying those around in her purse the whole night?
I sat there, stunned, not sure what do to. After a few seconds, she whimpered at me. Okay, she’s definitely a dog. But what about me? Am I her master, or am I the alpha? She whimpered again, nuzzling my arm.
When faced with two choices, I usually opt for the most absurd. This time was no different: alpha it was.
As she whimpered once more, I lowered my head, showed a bit of teeth and growled softly. Her eyes flashed with surprise, she was clearly expecting that I’d take the master role. The surprise disappeared quickly, replaced with a glint of approval.
What followed was about twenty minutes, of whimpering, growling, nuzzling, roughhousing and even some light biting/nipping.
Breaking character, I instructed her to lie down and play dead as I grabbed her vibrator off the couch. I put the vibe to good use, removing it anytime she came back to life, moving too much or making noise. It is quite interesting watching someone try to orgasm while remaining silent and motionless.
Later that night, after she had left, I pulled up Google and did a little research (I don’t even want to think about what my search history must look like). I didn’t really find anything sexual about the playtime (aside from vibing her, that is), but it was clearly something she was into and I’m always up for trying something new. We played once more, this time with me taking the master role. We parted ways not long after, the compatibility just wasn’t there.
Looking back, that night reinforces my golden rule: always be open to new experiences. You never know who might come crawling through your door.
(Photo generously provided by Minx Grrl, see more like it here!)
By Kendra Holliday | November 26, 2018
An interview with a man whose wife keeps him under lock and key. Literally. This interview is all about male chastity.
The Beautiful Kind: How long have you been married?
Chaste Hubby: We have been married for 2 years and together for 5. She moved in with me after about 5 weeks of dating.
TBK: Are you sub and is your wife Domme?
CH: When I am in chastity, I am sub but we like to switch. Depends on the mood.
TBK: How did the male chastity thing first come up?
CH: I always thought the idea of a woman having control over a man’s most private parts to be very erotic. I have always enjoyed some type of erotic restraint so lock & key chastity was a natural progression.
TBK: What does it MEAN exactly? You’re denied sex? Or orgasm?
CH: I receive orgasm or sex when she feels it is appropriate. On her terms.
TBK: Do you wear a chastity belt?
CH: Yes. When I am in chastity I am locked in a CB-3000 male chastity device. (Ed note: Click on the link for more info about this device. It’s made of plastic, has vents for cleaning and urinating, and is light weight. They recommend that you use a plastic lock in place of the brass padlock when traveling so you don’t set off alarms.)
TBK: Ooh, what does it do?
CH: It prevents erection, and when I become aroused it has a set of points installed that reminds me that I am doing something or thinking of something that is not allowed. She has both keys & for the most part wears them on some part of her body. Necklace, belly chain or anklet. Seeing the keys to my freedom/release on her otherwise nude body is torment in itself.
By Kendra Holliday | November 16, 2018
I get a lot of men I don’t know who contact me out of the blue and want me to be intimate with them. They are so eager and want it RIGHT NOW.
Intimate can mean talking, cuddling, getting naked, touching, vanilla sex, domming, roleplay, pegging, sounding, beating, the list goes on and on…
I LOVE sharing intimate space with others, whether it be platonic, vanilla, freaky, or fucked up.
But I REFUSE to be intimate with people I don’t know, even if they pay me a million dollars.
Why? Because I want to feel safe and comfortable. I want to be brought up to speed.
So, here is the key to your happiness:
I assume you’ve seen my stuff online and you’ve done your homework. You’ve read some posts, tweets, YouTube vids, and feel like you can get REAL with me.
But! Slow your roll! I don’t know YOU AT ALL.
Imagine if I came at you out of the blue using a pseudonym and cartoon avatar, and you had NO idea what I look like, if I was genuine and meant you no harm, and I grabbed you by the inbox and asked you to go down on me TODAY.
Would you have questions? I hope so!
Here’s the deal:
My house rules: First hour meeting is talking only, second hour is intro intimacy session. I never agree to be intimate with someone sight unseen, hence the one hour talking consult first.
— Kendra Holliday 😻 (@TBK365) November 16, 2018
Meeting in person for one hour getting to know each other is bare minimum for me to commit to more. I have a formula in place for building intimacy and trust. So many men want to jump ahead and it doesn’t work that way in reality, only in fantasy.
— Kendra Holliday 😻 (@TBK365) November 16, 2018
If you want to get freaky with a woman, you need to take a few steps in order to get there. Unlike you, she is not in your head & ready to rock right now. She needs to feel safe and comfortable first. THEN it can get freaky!
— Kendra Holliday 😻 (@TBK365) November 16, 2018
Make sense? Thank you. Now slow down and follow my rules. If you don’t, you are experiencing dickful thinking and you waste my time and we both get frustrated. 🙁
If you can take a moment and see the bigger picture – the one that involves not only your dick, but also your body and mind, and me as a person who cares about you, and we’re both in this big confusing world together – THEN we can make your fantasies come true!
And we can ALL be fulfilled.
By Kendra Holliday | November 6, 2018
You heard it here first: You’re going to start seeing a lot of coverage on ABDL fetish/orientation in the coming months.
From a website called Infantalism.org:
I wear nappies every night, I have been an adult baby for ten years now but never liked pooing my nappy but like the feel of a full one. Now when I want that full nappy feeling I pour a large tin of rice pudding down it and I get the feel of a full nappy, it is perfect and no pooey smell.
An interview I conducted with a 25 year old man who is into being an adult baby:
Q: When did you first get interested in infantalism?
A: I like every aspect of ABDL (Adult Baby/Diaper Lover) infantilism, and have been involved since I was 8 years old. I got involved in it by wearing diapers and sucking my thumb. When I got older, life got more stressful, so I started using bottles and pacifiers.
Q: Can you think of a specific memory that influenced you?
A: My trigger point was probably when I was around 7 close to 8 and I saw my cousin who was 3 years old getting his diaper changed and it looked so comforting and relaxing to be changed and wear a diaper, so it probably started there but not sure. I did steal diapers from him a few times, just to try them on and I enjoyed it and that’s really when I started liking them and it went from there. I also made diapers a lot of times at that age out of towels, and trash bags, and even my moms pads sometimes just for the feeling of something.
Q: What do you like about it?
A: I am most definitely more comfortable wearing a diaper than underwear. A diaper to me feels like a big hug that does not go away. I love wearing diapers for comfort and relaxing. I like dressing like a baby too, I have diapers, a onesie, baby bottles, adult size pacifier. I just like to let my inner child come out to play when I am regressing to a baby. I like my pacifier and diapers the most probably. When I am a baby it is about comfort and just letting everything go for a little while and relaxing.
Q: Do you have control over your baby urges?
A: Sometimes I cannot control when the baby comes out in me or mostly toddler. When I have had a babysitter, it usually just came natural for me to regress to a baby. I don’t remember a lot about being cared for and loved as a baby, but it is a big part of it of being a baby to me now.
By Kendra Holliday | September 2, 2018
I adore cute little old men, so when one contacted me online asking for a date, I happily agreed.
We met in the dim, red, richly appointed lobby of a luxury hotel. We were both a little nervous. I had no idea what he looked like.
I was relieved when one of the anonymous men standing around broke away from the faceless crowd and warmly approached me. I got instant good vibes from him.
He resembled an Orville. He was small and neatly groomed, very dapper in his three piece suit, right down to his silver tie pin and cuff links. With my elegant black dress and pearl necklace, we made a smart looking couple.
He ordered me a glass of wine, which I sipped politely as we got to know each other on a velvet sofa in a cozy corner.
He was from out of town. He summered in Cape Cod and wintered in Florida, having a home in both places, as well as one in Virginia.
He had a wife of 45 years who was a good woman, but never touched him, not even holding hands while they watched a movie, lest he get the notion that this basic physical contact would lead to something more. She had no interest in intimacy or sex – she found it distasteful and unnecessary – and expected him to follow suit.
Trouble was, he was a human being. Humans NEED physical contact. Which is why he sought me out.
A lot of people think whores are homewreckers, when actually the opposite is true. They do a great service keeping marriages together.
Many straight men NEED to sip from the cup of feminine energy just as they need to breathe and eat. If their wife cuts them off, they will look for intimacy elsewhere, or suffer miserably.
By Kendra Holliday | May 18, 2018
When a pretty girl (aka Kendra) says, “I’ll fuck you,” you say, “Where and when?”
“My place.” Then, that same pretty girl ups the ante by saying, “How about we make it into a party? As in, multiple girls pleasure you while some other lovely ladies watch?”
“Hmmmmm…..you mean you can arrange for multiple women to feast upon my sex, while we perform an exhibitionist show for other girls?”
“Sure!” Kendra says with a mischievous grin.
“Like, how many girls are we talking here? 3 or 4?”
“Let me see what I can do.”