By Kendra Holliday | August 23, 2021
Category Archives: Fantasies
So, last month, I had a breakdown. I got really mentally and physically ill for a few days. I could barely function – my heart raced, my blood pressure was high, I was sobbing and puking, etc…
This wasn’t my first episode like this – I’ve had a few – due to menopause, hormones, overheating, stress, alcohol abuse, grief, family issues (my dad has dementia), burnout…
This time, I think what caused me to crash and burn was scheduling several intense sessions the week after I got back from vacation.
This is nothing against the lovely men I played with, or the scene topics, but I’ve found that some sessions affect me more than others.
My easy sessions involve surrogate work, TLC, sensual, playful topics.
The more challenging sessions for me these days involve more corporal, kinky, dark fantasies and roleplays. They’re a lot of fun, but they can be very draining, and sometimes it takes me a couple days to recover from the emotional hangover. It didn’t use to be that way – I used to move on quicker. That makes me wonder, is it worth it to me to do these types of sessions? Why do I feel more anxious before some sessions than with others?
I often hear from clients about a Dominatrix they were fond of, but the Domme retired “after a few months.” I wonder why that is? And how do some Dommes make it a decades-long career? Does it depend on their personality? (I’m an INFJ – I feel A LOT).
By Kendra Holliday | June 3, 2021
My man likes the sexy dresses, fishnet stockings and all that, but what he loves most is the casual, natural look.
Jeans and a tank top, no bra:
Stripped down just a little bit more:
These boy shorts say: life . energy . intelligence
What attire do you find sexiest?
By Kendra Holliday | November 5, 2019
I’ve had the book Arousal: The Secret Logic of Sexual Fantasies on my shelf for a long time. It tempted me with its mysterious title and sexy cover (I LOVE oysters, and I LOVE my pearl, if you know what I mean).
Well, I finally dusted it off and read it, and it blew my mind, and I’ve been recommending it to people left and right ever since.
Here’s an intro concept from it that should provoke your thoughts:
“There’s a joke that says that when two people have sex, there are six people in bed: the two lovers and the parents of each of them.”
Is that creepy, true, or both? I hope you’re imagining group sex with your parents right now.
A sampling of the MANY interesting points brought up in this book:
– “Sexual excitement requires that we momentarily become selfish. There needs to be a tension between selfishness and caring, between using and pleasing your partner.”
Do you know what this means? Sometimes, when it comes to sex, you need to be ruthless. You need to let go and stop worrying so much about every little move and just focus on the pleasure. YOUR pleasure.
– The difference between guilt and shame: “Guilt involves beliefs that we are hurting others, while shame involves beliefs that we’re exposed and unworthy in the eyes of others.”
– “When people are aggressive or cruel in their sexual daydreams or practices, it is not because they are primarily sadistic but because they are trying to solve a problem.”
– Have you ever known a woman who is really bitchy toward her male partner? He’s such a nice guy, he tries so hard to cater to her wants and needs, yet she treats him like an annoying puppy? This book explains the reason behind that lopsided dynamic.
– Survivor guilt and unconscious parental jealousy is behind a lot of the issues we face with our parents. Have you ever wondered why someone would start drinking heavily when they became successful in their field? Or why some parents sabotage their kids and excessively criticize instead of support them in their endeavors? This book goes into the details behind those perplexing behaviors, and much more.
By Kendra Holliday | September 29, 2019
One year on Twitter, I listed one of my fetishes every day.
Fetish: something that sexually charms you.
I went back and looked at the list and was turned on and amused!
Here is the list in its entirety – I replaced about ten of them. If I’ve featured one in a post, I will link it to that post.
Mmmm, I want them ALL! Do any themes jump out at you? It’s clear I’m into hair, booze, and incest!
What about you – how many things turn YOU on?
1. Hairy chest
2. Steel handcuffs
3. Having my lingerie ripped (panties, stockings, fishnets)
7. Redheaded women
8. Pre-1968 Elvis
9. Reaction cologne
11. Sleeping Beauty
13. Feeling hard cock through jeans/pants
14. Incest Fantasies
18. My man’s cum inside my pussy
20. Japanese Gardens
22. Bruce Springsteen
24. Bubble baths
25. Magic Wand
28. Arched doorways
29. A REAL beard
30. Mood lighting
33. Long skirts
35. Victorian Homes
37. Hairy underarms
41. Classical music
43. V-Safe Men
45. Period films
By Kendra Holliday | June 9, 2019
Took this pic spontaneously the other day – just bent over and snapped a turtle’s eye view real quick. You can tell it’s unplanned because my undies don’t match – silly red Christmas theme with Scotties. Christmas in June!
I love this dress.
By Kendra Holliday | March 17, 2019
A friend of mine is not a fan of hardcore porn. I asked him to tell me what kind of porn he enjoyed, and he wrote me this letter. Enjoy!
I realized, after a lifetime of looking at porn, that I don’t like almost all of it. It’s grotty, unpleasant, populated by people I don’t want to talk to, let alone fuck, and the more extreme the porn makers become, to stand out from their competitors, the more they turn me off, both because of the scenario presented (I don’t want to rage-fuck someone in a basement) and because of the tragedies inherent in the production.
Young women with too much makeup and plastic surgery don’t turn me on, they make me sad and wonder about where their parents are.
But I recently came across some porn that seems designed specifically to appeal to people like me — which I would define as oversexed, heterosexual white males. It’s made by X-Art, and is the Platonic Ideal of Vanilla Porn. Looking at it (which I’ve done a lot) made me think a lot about the kind of porn-fantasy it presents, and why its so appealing.
A typical X-Art vid features a young woman, with a body unaugmented by wear, surgery or (too much) makeup. The setting is a high end apartment (many of the vids seem to be shot in the same LA loft) that might be the home of a protagonist in a Hollywood film. The man is attractive, but not the focus at all… there are a number of videos in which you rarely even see the man’s head. Everybody is young and perfect; hairless, both metaphorically and literally.
The music is different than typical porn. Many vids start with a cool, indie sounding pop song, the kind of thing attractive people might listen to in their excellent apartments, and then they fade out in favor of “natural” sounds. No wocka-wocka bass line to constantly say PORN. (more…)
By Kendra Holliday | November 16, 2018
I get a lot of men I don’t know who contact me out of the blue and want me to be intimate with them. They are so eager and want it RIGHT NOW.
Intimate can mean talking, cuddling, getting naked, touching, vanilla sex, domming, roleplay, pegging, sounding, beating, the list goes on and on…
I LOVE sharing intimate space with others, whether it be platonic, vanilla, freaky, or fucked up.
But I REFUSE to be intimate with people I don’t know, even if they pay me a million dollars.
Why? Because I want to feel safe and comfortable. I want to be brought up to speed.
So, here is the key to your happiness:
I assume you’ve seen my stuff online and you’ve done your homework. You’ve read some posts, tweets, YouTube vids, and feel like you can get REAL with me.
But! Slow your roll! I don’t know YOU AT ALL.
Imagine if I came at you out of the blue using a pseudonym and cartoon avatar, and you had NO idea what I look like, if I was genuine and meant you no harm, and I grabbed you by the inbox and asked you to go down on me TODAY.
Would you have questions? I hope so!
Here’s the deal:
My house rules: First hour meeting is talking only, second hour is intro intimacy session. I never agree to be intimate with someone sight unseen, hence the one hour talking consult first.
— Kendra Holliday 😻 (@TBK365) November 16, 2018
Meeting in person for one hour getting to know each other is bare minimum for me to commit to more. I have a formula in place for building intimacy and trust. So many men want to jump ahead and it doesn’t work that way in reality, only in fantasy.
— Kendra Holliday 😻 (@TBK365) November 16, 2018
If you want to get freaky with a woman, you need to take a few steps in order to get there. Unlike you, she is not in your head & ready to rock right now. She needs to feel safe and comfortable first. THEN it can get freaky!
— Kendra Holliday 😻 (@TBK365) November 16, 2018
Make sense? Thank you. Now slow down and follow my rules. If you don’t, you are experiencing dickful thinking and you waste my time and we both get frustrated. 🙁
If you can take a moment and see the bigger picture – the one that involves not only your dick, but also your body and mind, and me as a person who cares about you, and we’re both in this big confusing world together – THEN we can make your fantasies come true!
And we can ALL be fulfilled.
By Kendra Holliday | September 23, 2018
Last Saturday was the night of the Super Moon, the one time of year when the full moon would be closest to Earth.
We had spent the day hopping from friend to party to friend to parade, drinking and being merry – it was a full day. It was a LOT of day!
It was a great day.
After the craziness of a busy festival in Soulard, we chilled at our friend Shine’s house. It was a stark contrast to the packed street party that was jammed with people, bright lights, and HEAT – Shine’s house was cool, dim, and surrounded by resting plants. It was just the four of us.
She mentioned that the night before, she had been to Monks Mound to celebrate the moon. Monks Mound is in Cahokia Mounds, across the river in Collinsville, IL. Monks Mound is the largest human-made mound in the country. She spoke of how powerful it was to be so close to the moon, fog in the valleys, the energy of all the people who had once been there…. 20,000 people lived there, making it larger than London in 1250 AD.
After a raucous family dinner, we made our way over to Illinois. The surrounding area was a little eerie – rundown homes, race track, landfill, liquor stores, ghost towns – a lot of buried dreams.
It was dark. We parked near the mound. Technically the place was closed, but it felt like a free country and we meant no harm, so we ventured out into the moon-drenched surrounding meadowscape.
I was barefoot, wearing a soft, flowing moon dress. We held hands and walked toward the looming mound. No one was around.
Up the first level we went, then the second. Finally, we were at the top. (more…)
By Kendra Holliday | July 14, 2018
Last week, I posted about a fantasy I wanted to make happen in real life with Matthew and Lana.
Today, I detail how things really went down. You be the judge – which is hotter, the fantasy, or the reality?
First of all, my fantasy included cum play and cream pies, which involves risky behavior. All parties need to trust each other and get tested.
So, we did.
The day of our date, Lana texted us the good news about her test results:
Now we were ready to make it happen! We were all SO excited – the fantasy matched each of our desires perfectly. Anticipation served as foreplay all day – all week, really.
The evening started with us chatting over drinks and catching up. Matthew warned her that he hadn’t been inside a pussy for 21 days, and hadn’t busted a nut in three days, so things could get crazy fast.
Sure, we were throwing down, but we were doing so in style. Candles were lit, and romantic Brahms played in the background
I wore a neutral, mesh teddy that accentuated my curves and nipples. She wore a short little black teddy with pink lip prints all over it.
He started things off by cuffing my hands behind my back. I tried resisting just for fun, but it was like slicing into soft butter with a sword – no contest. He had me locked down firm, then gave me a sweet kiss on my quivering lips, and tied the small, silver key to one of the strings hanging off the teddy’s neck. Then, he sat me down on a small tan tuffet at the foot of the bed, fashioned from a folded blanket. I was out of the way, and in position. He murmured, “Sit. Watch. I’ll be back.” I obeyed, like a well-behaved puppy expecting a treat. She stared at our exchange, wide-eyed.
Then, he turned his attention towards her. She stood there, looking up at him expectantly. He kissed her, hands roaming over her body, caressing her breasts through the gauzy fabric of her teddy. He spun her around and kissed her neck and shoulders. She moaned slightly as he pressed his swollen cock against her soft panties. He pulled her lingerie off, caressing her now exposed nipples, kissing her neck hungrily until she almost came. He stopped short of her explosion….
By Kendra Holliday | July 14, 2018
In my last post, I told you about a twisted, romantic fantasy I had, and how we were going to act it out in real life with Lana. Today, I am posting the fantasy. Next week, I will post how it played out in real life. How did it match up? How was it different? Which is better – the fantasy, or the reality?
Here is what I have in mind for us to do tonight.
You set the scene, and get me situated. I’m kneeling on the bedroom floor, naked, hands cuffed behind my back. Normally, I’m very much involved in our powerfully charged sex acts, but not tonight. Restrained, I can only quietly observe what is about to transpire.
Then, I watch you seduce beautiful Lana, standing there, kissing, hands roaming. The room is dimly lit, it’s romantic, you’re focused on her, I’m a fly on the wall.
Next, I imagine you in bed together, a sheet over you, seeing your big, bristling, muscular shoulders and chest compared to her smaller frame.
Her hair is all wild, you’re lying there kissing. You do whatever slow foreplay, oral or whatever, but I imagine you sucking on her breast as she gently tugs on your cock.
She wants it.
Your cock is STRAINING and finally you can’t wait any longer, and with a gentle growl, you push her legs apart with your thigh. You have to be inside her.
Now is the time.
You push and coax your way in, she readily receives you, she’s so hot and soft, finally you two are plugged in, skin to skin, snug. You’ve already made her cum, so that is not the goal here. Sure she can enjoy it, but this is for you, so you can finally fill her with cum and mark her, after knowing her for more than a decade. You’ve been biding your time, waiting for the right moment, but who would have known the right moment would involve the love your life being witness to this sacred act?
By Kendra Holliday | July 13, 2018
The other night, I witnessed my friend Lana have her first MFM (Male/Female/Male).
I sat in a chair at the foot of the bed, fully dressed, wrapped in a soft blanket, goblet in hand.
I felt like this:
She, on the other hand, was naked and blindfolded on the bed, being worked over by two muscular, horny men. She looked so gorgeous and vulnerable in the warm, dim glow of the bedroom chamber.
I pretended that I called for them and that this was my entertainment of choice for the evening – to watch a lady-in-waiting get stripped of her gown, used, and impregnated.
By Kendra Holliday | May 18, 2018
When a pretty girl (aka Kendra) says, “I’ll fuck you,” you say, “Where and when?”
“My place.” Then, that same pretty girl ups the ante by saying, “How about we make it into a party? As in, multiple girls pleasure you while some other lovely ladies watch?”
“Hmmmmm…..you mean you can arrange for multiple women to feast upon my sex, while we perform an exhibitionist show for other girls?”
“Sure!” Kendra says with a mischievous grin.
“Like, how many girls are we talking here? 3 or 4?”
“Let me see what I can do.”
By Kendra Holliday | May 3, 2018
Girls wanna get down, too!
90% of men who crave female energy love the idea of being in bed with two women at once (the other 10% think it would be too much work).
An MFF (Male-Female-Female) Threesome, or King menage a trois, can be, depending on who you are with, HOTTER than you ever imagined, or bad sex x2.
But the key to making your threesome fantasy a reality is not finding the right women – it’s having the right mindset.
Most everyone thinks about threesomes, but without being open-minded and available to a person who is equally open-minded, those sorts of fantasies will never materialize.
Let me share my own personal experience on the matter. I dated a man, and after a few months of being together, I confessed to him that I was bisexual and thought it would be hot to share him with another woman.
This sparked a fervant quest to make a threesome happen. We joined dating sites, chatted women up online, all to no avail. Just because we wanted to have a threesome didn’t mean random women wanted the same thing.
Then things got interesting when I approached him with my second confession: I liked the idea of being with other men, too.
This dumped a bucket of ice water on his sex drive. We almost broke up over it! Here I was, open to the thought of him being with other women – dating other women, playing with my girlfriends – but the thought of me being with another man was a dealbreaker? Buzzkill!
During one late night tense discussion over it, he declared, “I will never be comfortable with the thought of you with another man.”
By Kendra Holliday | March 27, 2018
This list is lovingly dedicated to everyone who pshaws at vanilla sex.
1. fuck someone who is actively bleeding, OR earning your tasty Red Wings
2. fuck in a coffin or a church
3. genital torture using a starving hamster
4. pegging with a peg leg
5. extreme anal penetration with something found in the kitchen
6. watersports in a water park (ha ha, too bad, everyone else!)
7. fucking someone you have rendered unconscious
8. knifeplay at a sushi bar
9. sucking a dirty dick (where has it been?!)
10. take down abduction scene at Wal-Mart
11. taste cum, preferably on a muffin
12. putting a stick of huckleberry incense in your ass and lighting it until your ass hairs singe
13. masturbating to a photo of your parent
14. putting a fork, spoon, and knife in your orifices simultaneously
15. face sat upon by someone naked and unwashed until you can’t breathe for two minutes
16. shave entire body
17. sucking the horn of a poached rhinoceros after it’s been shoved up Rush Limbaugh’s ass
18. fisting with Paul Bunyan
19. sex on horseback (with the horse)
20. being fucked by someone you never see, preferably because you are half buried in dirt
21. figging using an entire bottle of ginger liqueur
22. double penetration (eyeballs and earholes count)
23. sounding using the chopsticks from a racist Vietnamese restaurant (more…)
By Kendra Holliday | March 25, 2018
I asked readers to suggest sex acts that everyone should try at least once. Now, this list may not be as kinky as you might expect. That’s because I chose to focus on sensualism and intimacy over fear factor stuff.
So, you’ll find a lot of creative vanilla acts, but things like genital torture? Not so much. I was also able to consolidate a lot of things into one entry, such as anal play for rimming, receiving, pegging, etc. This gives you more flexibility when planning out your sex menu.
Thank you to everyone who contributed to this list. Please comment on how many of these things you have done, and what stands out as something you’d like to try soon!
2. mutual masturbation
3. sexual encounter with person of a different gender
4. same sex encounter
5. male-female-male threesome
6. male-female-female threesome
8. using a condom during sex
9. using another form of birth control
10. getting/giving spanking
11. phone sex
13. writing/drawing on your partner
14. combine food and sex in some way
15. sex while being restrained in some way
16. one night stand
18. orgasm three times in one night
19. morning sex
21. afternoon sex
22. middle of the night sex
23. have sex while wearing a costume
24. cross dress
25. give oral sex
26. receive oral sex
27. have sex with a friend
28. wait a long time to have sex with someone you’ve been crushing on
29. get a full body massage (more…)