Bound: A Daughter, a Domme, and an End-of-Life Story
By Kendra Holliday | April 13, 2022
A few years ago, I attended Woodhull Sexual Freedom Summit in the Washington, D.C. area. Several authors were featured, including Elizabeth Anne Wood, Ph.D. She read an excerpt from her book, Bound: A Daughter, a Domme, and an End-of-Life Story.
I was instantly intrigued, as I’m a bit obsessed with sex and death – I’m both horny AND morbid. I had never heard of a story like this – a daughter being supportive of her mom’s kinky sex life?! Come again?
I’d like to say I couldn’t wait to read it, but it turns out I DID wait to read it – when I got home, I put it on my shelf of sex books and there it sat, for months. So many books, so little time.
But I finally had more time to catch up on my reading, thanks to a serious mental breakdown I had in February. I took time off from seeing clients (I’m a sex worker who does Pro Domme, fetish and surrogate work), and was able to tend to myself.
I’m glad I read it when I did – it was published just a few weeks before my own mom died in 2019, which allowed me to relate to what the author shared so much more.
But if you haven’t experienced the death of a parent yet, or aren’t that kink savvy – fear not, the author takes time to define terms, and painstakingly details the grueling obstacle course of many months of illness and hospital stays. You will definitely learn more about kink, and perhaps get some tips on how to navigate the healthcare system, such as qualifying for Medicaid and managing home dialysis. Trust me, you will learn a LOT.
The mother’s St Andrew’s Cross (mine is pictured here as an example) serves as a poignant symbol of her cross to bear. What happens to someone’s fetish gear and sex toys when they can’t use them anymore?
If you know any Dommes, you discover how creative they can be with their “torture” techniques, such as brushing a submissive’s teeth with his own semen, or locking his cock up in a cage. I was delighted to learn a new CBT (cock n’ ball torture) trick of the trade – the author’s mom stuck a red birthday candle in her sub’s peehole and lit it, letting wax drip on his precious bits. Brilliant!
I grew so fond of the author’s mama Domme – she reminded me of my mom, who wasn’t kinky, but was extremely freaky and messy. After my mom died, we filled up three dumpsters of junk she had accumulated over the years. Going through her things, we found so many interesting items, such as a copy of Ted Bundy’s death certificate taped to the wall above her desk. Oh, Mother.
The author was so clever with relating healthcare terminology and concepts with the dark world of BDSM – “the bondage of bureaucracy”, for example. I found myself nodding along more often than not, and was so impressed with the level of detail shared – from family conflict, to finding surprise dildos in unlikely places. Beautifully written, this book grabbed me from the first page and I didn’t want to let it go.
I ached as mother and daughter endured so much uncertainty and suffering – they did the dance of death for eight months. My mom’s descent was swift – only five days in the hospital. One of the last things my mom said was, “This is no way to live!” With that, I knew what she wanted, and respected her wishes. I was SO proud of the author for honoring her mother so bravely and fiercely – right up until the very end – and beyond, by writing this vivid tribute.
Witnessing a parent die is such a profound experience. The author wrote: “How do you know when a person has died? Does it happen with the last breath? The last heartbeat? Does something electrical and chemical continue after the numbers reach zero? Is she gone even before her body stops? I don’t know…”
I don’t know, either. We all experience birth and death, but one thing we do know is,
(You can purchase Bound: A Daughter, a Domme, and an End-of-Life Story on Amazon and other booksellers. You can also find it on Audible as an audiobook.)
GenericUsername 2022-04-14 15:31:48
Beautiful! I’m actually just going through something similar as my father passed away on Tuesday while I was at the airport on one of my legs home. We have a private showing tomorrow for the immediate family so I am, literally, in the middle of everything. What hit it for me with this post is the amount of things accumulated over the years and how much purging there will have to be. My mother is still going strong but in looking around the house right at this very moment I can see quite a few dumpsters in our future in clearing out this house when she, in turn, passes away. I cringe at the thought of finding anything sex related. If I come across a vibrator I’m sure I’ll have to call in one of the neighbours to come remove it for us. 🙂
I’m just getting started in your blog and have so much back-reading to do! I hope to be able to meet you one day. Your name and blog was mentioned by K.C. and I’m glad she recommended coming here. Cheers!
Kendra Holliday 2022-04-14 15:37:35
Welcome to my world! I hope you enjoy exploring my blog – I have 600+ entries. I hope you get lots of help with your mom’s things when the time comes. I looove KC! 🙂
GenericUsername 2022-04-14 15:43:48
She talks very fondly of you as well. I certainly have reading material to last me quite some time. Youtube videos as well. BONUS!
David Wraith 2022-04-20 03:00:52
“Going through her things, we found so many interesting items, such as a copy of Ted Bundy’s death certificate taped to the wall above her desk.”
I kinda feel like this deserves its own blog post if one doesn’t exist already.
Hector 2022-04-20 08:06:52
May I ask something irrelevant? When you had shaven your head, did you ever find a wig that looked exactly like your old hair so that nobody could tell that you had shaven your head?
Kendra Holliday 2022-04-20 08:12:39
No, I never wore a wig that looked like my old wig, I was having too much fun playing with so many different new looks!
Hector 2022-04-20 08:31:14
You didn’t understand me. My question is: Could you find one that looked exactly like your old hair if you wanted to?
Kendra Holliday 2022-04-20 08:42:58
oh, definitely! Very common/popular style – long, straight, wheat colored hair.
Hector 2022-04-20 08:45:44
If you ever shave your head again, try to find such a wig and make a video on youtube about it.
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