The Beautiful Kind

- Feeling left out and insecure at times
- Less sex (seriously, you have three moods to negotiate)
- It’s a challenge finding a bathtub for three (rub-a-dub-dub, three men in a tub my ASS)
- Social stigma
- Coinciding PMS
- Having to coordinate three schedules
- Lack of closet space
- It’s hard to find alone time if you want it
- The middle sometimes gets too hot for sleeping
- More emotional baggage to deal with
- It costs more for plane tickets and dinner
- You have two partners to catch cooties from, so a cold can linger in the house for a month
- Your single friends are jealous of you
- It’s hard to figure out whose family you’ll spend the holidays with
- There are more birthdays and events to keep in mind
- It really is more complicated
- You have less to fantasize about because your real sex life is better than most people’s fantasies

- Someone is always on hand to take pictures of you having sex
- You can have as many threesomes as you want
- If someone has a headache, someone else can jump in
- There’s more opportunity for sex (and more variety)
- Double the wardrobe if the women are the same size
- You’re surrounded by flesh
- Double the tits!
- 3 way kissing
- You can have one person above, one person below (people sandwiches)
- Someone can be touching you and you don’t know who it is - it’s a touch puzzle
- You have two people to take care of you when you’re sick
- You get to shock people in public
- You can go to a concert and hang on each other and give a 14 yr old boy masturbatory material for weeks
- The man looks like a stud
- You have three people to pay the bills instead of just two
- More parent power
- Getting massaged by two people at once is very nice
- You get to enjoy oral sex by one while kissing the other
- When one person is out of town, you’re not alone in the house
- You have a built-in mediator for disagreements
- If you’re one of the females, you get cock AND pussy, often at the same time
- You’re surrounded by love
- It’s so nice being the one in the middle when you’re holding hands
- There are more reasons to celebrate
- You have two people to pump for info when you’re writing a blog post about your sex life

Tomorrow: the disadvantages

So here’s the deal. We’re already getting a ton of questions about the triad thing, so I’m creating this FAQ that will be a work in progress. If you have a question, leave it as a comment, and I’ll add it to the list. We’re learning as we go!

What the hell are you talking about?
A triad is three people dating each other and in a relationship. See this post.

So you’re polyamorous then?
Yes. Right now we’re in a closed triad. We regard ourselves as a family.

Are you swingers?
Not really, though we will tie up a cute sub girl if she begs.

What are your sexual orientations?
He is straight, she is bi, I am bi-furious.

What do you call each other?
We’re going with partners for now.

What is your ranking?
We are all equals.

Aw come on, who is the focal point?
We all play a key part - I think The Beau is critical - if either one of the women weren’t in the picture, I could easily imagine a happy couple, but if The Beau weren’t in the picture, I’m not sure The Belle and I would be a couple on our own. Great friends, sure, but I think we both like having a man in our life.

I was the catalyst for the whole thing - The Beau never would have considered someone who already had a boyfriend, but I was able to see past that. I also encouraged their friendship, and I am the sexual energy source in our dynamic.

And of course without The Belle, we wouldn’t be a triad!

All three of us share an amazing connection - yeah the whole thing is titillating and new, but in some ways it already feels natural and right.

So what about her boyfriend? I’ve kind of always wondered about him. Did he know about what was going on at your house while she was there? Is he nice? A jerk? Does he know what’s going on now?
The Belle broke up with her boyfriend. (See her comment under this post for more details.) He knew what was going on the whole time - they had boundaries in place that were respected and she was open and honest with him. It was OK with him for her to date and be sexual with me while she was still with him, and it was only after she broke up with him that she began dating The Beau. Her ex is a nice guy. He knows about this blog and plans to read it.

How does it work with two doms and a sub?
I always imagined my fantasy triad as being with a younger sub woman who joined my established couple (yep, she’s 25, I’m 35, he’s 40). He is definitely dom, I am definitely sub, and she is a switch - the dom stuff comes naturally for her, and she’s enjoying exploring her inner sub. Makes for lots of great fantasy combinations, and hey we’re always learning and expanding our fetish checklist.

Who sleeps in the middle?
The Belle and I take turns sleeping in the middle - it’s too hot for The Beau. So he just cuddles in the middle.

What size bed do you have?
Queen. Yes it’s a little crowded.

What about alone time? Do you ever get the house to yourself?
I like my alone time, and can have as much of it as I want, I just need to ask. I have the house to myself right now as I type. They, on the other hand, like constant company, which works out great for me, because I can pass on an event and know that I’m not making my partner go solo.

What will your daughter think?
She’s thrilled with the situation. She adores The Belle - not to mention her two kittens and dog.

What will your families think?
My family is fine with it. Not sure how his and her families are going to take it, and which aspect of it will bother them the most - the carpet munching? imagining us doing it? the non-monogamy?

How do we ensure that everyone’s needs are met?
By talking about any feeling that comes up, even if it is awkward or embarrassing.

Will you get married and have rings?
If all goes well we would like to have a commitment ceremony/celebration a year or so from now, with matching rings. One of us will marry The Beau legally for practicality purposes, and we’ll see a lawyer about making the three-way union as legit as possible.

What about kids?
I have my 7-yr-old daughter, but we’d like to have another kid if things work out, sure - The Baby Kind.