The Beautiful Kind

Often I hear people wonder how certain fetishes come to be. Here’s one that I don’t understand - Messy Girls. Women covered in chocolate, shave cream, mud, paint, pudding, just about anything. Why? Do you have any insight? Is it supposed to symbolize defiling a woman, covering her in cum? I’m sure texture is involved.

I love when sex is messy, when you and your partner are sticky and glued together with sweat, cum, female ejaculate… I love seeing a man’s chest hair slicked down with perspiration or when he’s showering, but the thought of him covered in silver paint or chocolate pudding doesn’t do it for me.

Is it art? I think it would be fun to be a messy girl model - do you think they get turned on by it? It strikes me as playful - I wonder what kind of guy likes this stuff. Would he be dom or sub? Would he have a good sense of humor? Does he go to the grocery store and walk through the pudding aisle and imagine how it would look on the cashier up front?

So Belle and Beau got their tattoos the other day, and they look great. That’s because we had Ed Rook of Hidden Ace Tattoo do them, and he is an artist. Not a drawer, not an illustrator, but an ARTIST, dammit.

While he inked my loved ones (Belle = tough, Beau = wimp), I chatted him up, and he told me that some women have orgasms while they get tattooed.

“Really?!” I exclaimed, eagerly leaning forward. NOW he had my interest.

“Oh sure,” he said. “It doesn’t really get talked about much, but it happens, especially when I’m working on the bikini line.”

That’s when I went into interview mode.

Do you ever notice men getting hard while you ink them?
No, I’ve never had a guy get wood.

How do you know the woman is getting off?
Oh, you can tell. She gets all flushed and giggly and sighs. She tries to be discreet about it, and I’ll ask if she’s OK, and she’ll say, “Um yeah, it just tickles.”

So why do you think the women get off on it?
Well I don’t think it has anything to do with ME, other than I’m a strange man in close proximity to their crotch. And I’ve got a tattoo gun and arm, which is like a big vibrator. I guess there’s the pain, the psychology of the very intimate and taboo ritual. She’s in a vulnerable position, a little scared.

Is it just the bikini area that gets women off?
Pretty much. Well, I had this one woman who used to come in all the time, and I think she was into the pain. I’d be working on her neck and she would sit there and mutter, “SHIT that hurts, fuck yeah!” and shudder.

Would you please do me a favor and refuse to do tramp stamps?
Actually, those are not so popular these days. I haven’t been doing nearly as many of those.

THANK GOODNESS. So are you the only tattoo artist on earth who is married to a woman with ZERO tattoos?
(laughs) Yeah, tattoos aren’t her thing, which is fine with me, but I know a lot of people who refuse to date someone without tattoos. It’s becoming such a culture, a way of life.

And guess who Ed will be working on next in my family? My mom and dad. They are both getting their first tattoos, at age 62 and 68. YESSSS! My dad wants a dog memorial portrait, and my mom wants QUEEN right above her boob. I am serious.

(Imagine my mom’s boob here.)

A while back I posted my own snarky take on STDs. I recently met up with an expert here in St. Louis for a follow-up interview to that post, since, you know, I’m not an expert. Frank Lydon is an Epidemiology Specialist with the Missouri Department of Health and Senior Services, Bureau of STD/HIV and Hepatitis. I chatted him up over bubble tea and here are the interesting bits. OH and he gave me free condoms, a glossy full-color laminated flashcard showing yummy examples of primary and secondary syphilis, and a glow-in-the-dark SYPHILIS awareness bracelet. YESSS.

What did you think of my post about STDS?
(He answers this question in an overly diplomatic way, saying there’s a lot of misinformation out there, he’s such a nice guy.)

How long have you been out on the field tracking down STDs?
15 years.

Do you travel around?
All over eastern district of Missouri - St Louis and outlying rural areas.

Where are the STD hot spots?
South Broadway area bordered by Grand and Meramec in South City, Dutchtown. Washington Blvd. has more male prostitution, closer to Jefferson. North Florissant by O’Fallon Park neighborhood.

Rural prostitution will often go down for diapers, laundry money. Prostitution like this happens often around Laundromats.

Are there busy times of year for diseases?
In university towns, a couple weeks after spring break more people report illnesses.

Tell me about gay bars.
St. Louis is fortunate with the ownership and management of our gay bars. They are in tune with the needs of the community and customers. There’s an altruistic aspect to it, it’s not just for keeping customers and making money.

Are there bathhouses gay men frequent in town?
There’s actually a nationwide bathhouse chain. St Louis city has one, do a search. Management there is very STD awareness-friendly.

What do you know about glory holes?
You can find them in sex bookstores and video arcades. A couple years ago a person advertised online a glory hole at their house. It was part of a lifestyle thing.

What kind of outreach do you do?
Pridefest, St Louis Effort for AIDS. We provide urine testing for gonorrhea, blood test for HIV and syphilis. Hep B vaccinations.

Do you give out condoms?
Oh sure, sometimes I go door to door on a hot street offering condoms and free testing.

So who really uses dental dams?
The lesbian community.

How do you get drug dealers and pimps to cooperate with stopping disease?
I tell them a sick customer won’t be coming back, and if your girl is sick she won’t be able to make you money.

Do you turn in the drug dealers or people you see using illegal drugs?
No, because if I do word will get around and I won’t be able to do my job anymore. Trust is what disease prevention is all about.

What’s the difference between Hepatitis A and B?
Hep A is from bad hand washing and eating foods contaminated by the virus. Hep B is the more sexual one, spread through blood. You can even get Hep B from sharing razors or toothbrushes with an infected person. It can also spread through other bodily fluids.

What’s your favorite STD? What’s the latest trend in St Louis?
We’re experiencing a syphilis spike, as well as a syphilis w/HIV combo. You can track STDs at this site.

What’s the deal with syphilis?
Syphilis starts out as a painless lesion, it can look like a zipper snag. You are infectious when you have the open lesion, but once your sore goes away after three weeks you are not spreading it when it’s in your blood stream.

Don’t you get burnt out running around town seeing people doing some pretty wretched shit? I mean like HIV+ drug dealers with 14 pit bulls and kids going hungry and a guy fucking all the women in a neighborhood and spreading disease?
No, I love my job. Most people are good people. The people I deal with are authentic and real. I tell my clients, “I’m not here to judge, you can tell me anything.”

Are you grossed out by these gruesome syph pics or what?
Nah, I could eat in front of them.

Do you have an interesting work story you can share?
Years ago I was working with a guy who had syphilis, He lived in the country. I asked about his sexual partners.

He asked, “Could I have caught this from one of my cows?”

I said, “No, well what exactly have you been doing with your cows?”

“Helping them give birth.” Here he was reaching up their vaginas to pull out stuck calves and my mind immediately filled in entirely different blanks. Heh.

——
Note: Since this conversation occurred the number of new cases of syphilis in the greater St. Louis area continues to rise. If you see a painless lesion or unexplained rash (on the hands and feet or torso) on yourself or partners, please seek testing immediately. For testing and treatment information, or if you have cootie questions of your own, contact Frank Lydon at 314-877-1229.

And to steal a page from The Beau’s book, here is your bonus link.

So on that fetish checklist I put together, there is a checkbox for “jail commands.” I didn’t even know what jail commands ARE, so I interviewed a female corrections officer and got the lowdown on that and much, much more. Good stuff to supplement my past post on how great prison life would be!

Where do you work?
Bonne Terre prison. It’s a high level prison, and is where the executions for Missouri are carried out. So I work with the peeps that are involved with carrying out executions. I really love my job.

What do you call the prisoners?
We call the prisoners “offenders” as that is what their ID badges has printed on it. They must wear the badge at all times, and it must be on the left collar of the outer most piece of clothing. This is all per policy. Policy is what ultimately governs all actions in the system. It describes how the Corrections Officer is to respond, and it mandates what the offenders are required to do.

What are jail commands?
These are things that I say at work on a regular basis:
kick rocks= get out of here
widen your stance= I’m going to search you, spread your legs
you’re beat=you’re not getting anything from me.

That last one I prolly say at least 15-20 a day. It’s when the offenders want something from me that they can’t have. And they always want things they can’t have. I mean that in both a sexual and non-sexual way. lol

How old are you?
I am 25. I’ve been a Corrections Officer (CO) for about 3 yrs now. I love the job because it is an important puzzle piece to our culture. Without prisons, laws would have no meaning, and the bad people would still be on the streets. It is a VERY serious job, one that is difficult to explain. A good “shock” into the world of the CO is here in a letter.

http://www.ri-brotherhood.com/pdfs/TheForgottonCop.pdf

I’m proud to be a CO. Its kinda like a Marine is proud to be a Marine. Not everyone has what it takes.

Do you act differently on the job?
I am a completely different person when I’m inside or “on the hill” as we call it. It is essential that you conduct yourself with professionalism and authority. The common motto of the CO is: Firm, Fair, and Consistent. It might sound simple to do, but it’s not. There are those of us that abuse their authority. Some are over critical of the rules, or some seem to provoke offenders by over enforcing their positions too harshly.

For the most part I’m a comedian on the outside. I like to laugh and I like others to laugh with me. On the inside I have a good sense of humor, but I have to be tough. It’s not easy to switch off one personality for another.

Have you heard of the Stanford Experiment?
I read about the Stanford Experiment, and I understand it completely.. Both sides actually. The COs force the rules on to the offenders because they must follow the rules. If the offenders follow the rules they get into this zombie mode which is all scheduled:

6 am: stand up. it’s time to be counted.
630 : get in line. it’s time to eat.
7 am: go back to your cell. wait for recreation.
11 : stand up it’s time to be counted.
12 pm: get in line. it’s time to eat.
1230 : go back to your cell. wait for evening recreation.

This is an example of what happens every day. The times are pre-scheduled for everything. It can be mindless.

So what do you think about the executions?
The execution thing is not a big deal in my mind. Its just part of the job. There is a special unit of CO’s who are trained specifically for the executions. It’s sad for the family of the offender, but I’m pro-capital punishment. More of them deserve it than those that get it. We have offenders that have been waiting for almost 20 years to die. I think that’s cruel.

Right now executions are being held till a court can determine new procedures. There is an article to explain the old procedure and the prob with it:

http://lethal-injection-florida.blogspot.com/2007/01/behind-mask-of-mo-execution-doctor.html

If you like to read, there is a book based in STL. Its called “A RIP IN HEAVEN” its a story about some murders on the chain of rocks bridge. I later met the guy just before he was executed. Marlin Gray..I’ll never forget his name. It was strange meeting him eye to eye, knowing his story. And then ordering this ‘monster’ around.

So is your job sexy or what?
The job itself is not very sexy. It’s kinda gross really. Too many bodies crammed into small spaces where they don’t want to be. But there is no denying the fact that there are some toned bodies in prison. Some of them spend everyday just working out!! I’m talking twelve packs, not just the six!! I’ve heard some do 300 push ups…EVERYDAY!!

I don’t allow myself to think about them as sexy. I can’t. It would be against all that I work toward. Its not easy being a female in a man’s prison. I think about 25-30% of the COs are female. It’s actually a high percentage for a work force. Unfortunately, we have to work twice as hard as males just to be treated equally.

Yes, the offenders flirt with me..but I put a stop to it. I demand respect from them. And they know it..I also give respect in return. There are days that I get 15 marriage proposals. I usually just laugh it off. If you have good people skills, it’s easy enough to manage a balance of good cop/bad cop.

Do you like the uniform?
I LOVE the uniform, and yes I have been turned on at work. Some COs just fill it out in ALL the right places! Those utility belts make all asses look good. The female COs wear the same uniform as the males, they look the same as comparing a guy cop to a gal cop..Our uniforms are light blue with black pants. If you don’t know what colors the local PD wear, I could be mistaken for a cop.

Do you play with the handcuffs?
I do like to play with the handcuffs. It’s amazing how different it is to be in a set that you can’t trip the safety lock. it feels much better! Because you’re not just pretending to be caught…YOU REALLY ARE.

Are you sub or dom?
I prefer to be the sub, but sometimes, the dom in me just breaks out unexpectedly. One time, while I was rough housing around with my bf, which turned on both of us, he made some comment about me being a wimp (which is a pet peeve of mine) and the next thing we knew, he was facedown on the floor in an arm-bar with me on top. It was reflex for me. Thats part of the CO training. We both laugh about it. He got beat up by a girl.

I’m a strong person mind and body. If they ‘ask’ for anything. I usually deny them. If they just go for it, I’m ripe for the picking. My ‘tough guy’ persona weeds out the wimps fast. I don’t have time for them. If they’re strong enough to break down the ‘walls’ I put up, I turn into a very willing and pliable subject. I smile to myself just thinking about it. I haven’t met many that can get through my test.

I like the idea of being spanked and hit, but the reality is: it brings out a fight or flight in me. I usually go ‘amazon’ if it hurts. I can take a lot of pain, but only the light slaps turn me on. I’ve never been tied up. I’ve seen the intricate knots you’ve been done up with, and I’m totally jealous! I’ve had a scarf held over my eyes, and holding me down to the bed at the same time. But it was a one time deal. I wish it wasn’t. I liked it a lot.

This is an interview with a guy who is into pegging. I so want to try this! Watch your back, Beau…

What does your wife do for a living?
My wife is a senior project manager for a large company.

What do you do for a living?
I am a househusband/homemaker.

Who does the housework?
I do all the housework, cooking, cleaning, etc. I also do all of the more traditional male chores as well, lawn mowing, etc. When my wife and I each had our own apartments mine was always much neater/cleaner than hers. She creates clutter, I hate clutter.

Do you have kids?
My wife and I don’t have kids, I had a vasectomy when I was 29. I knew at a young age I did not want kids, I’m sure my childhood had something to do with that.

What’s an example of how your relationship is different than the average straight couple’s?
The most recent example was on Super Bowl Sunday when my wife invited a female co-worker over to watch the game. I fucking hate football and while they were screaming at the TV like a couple of men while I was listening to music online.

What’s your sex life like?
In the bedroom I’m certainly more sub than dom. I’m totally NOT interested in wearing womans clothes but other than that we’ve taken the bedroom role reversal thing about as far as it can go! You of all people know exactly what that means!

I think I do, but can you spell it out for me?
About a year ago I had seen some porn online with women fucking guys with strap ons. I was very intrigued by it and decided to look into buying one for my wife.

Does your wife have a strapon?
Yes, she has this one.

How often do you do it?
We don’t do it too often yet but have had a few very good sessions. I’d say one out of every five times we have sex.

How did you get into male anal play? Did you explore it by yourself at first?
I had actually fantasized about pegging long before I saw it online. I guess it’s always been in the back of my mind. I’ve had women use fingers on me and always liked it.

How did you bring it up to your wife and what was her reaction?
As you can imagine it was a tough thing to bring up - it took months until the right moment came. She was not only open to it but took to it right away. There’s a blog I like called Dominant Wife. Some of it is much more extreme than we are but I’d say about 50% of it applies. I can see us heading more and more in this direction.

What do you think of homophobes who think male anal play = gay?
Personally I don’t think a man and a woman can do anything together that would be gay. I’m not in the least bit sexually attracted to men which I think is a requirement for being gay. Although a strap on is a phallic thing its attached to a woman who has a pussy, tits, soft skin, etc.

Do you fuck her as well?
I absolutely fuck my wife, thats the best part, we can truly fuck each other!

A porn site featuring emaciated women. You go here when the NYTimes fashion magazine just doesn’t cut it.

The site has a disclaimer that states, “all girls appearing on the site are 18 and over.” They should also add “and less than 80 pounds.”

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Here you have me, Ms. Hypersexual, interviewing an openly Asexual woman. I thought asexual people didn’t exist! Silly me. She sure showed me…

What does asexual mean?
Asexual means a person who does not experience sexual attraction. Of course, there are spectrums.

How old are you?
25. Old enough to know that I’m not just a late bloomer.

What’s the difference between celibate, abstinent, and asexual?
Celibacy and abstinence are choices. Asexuality is innate, not a choice, but a part of someone’s life that they cannot choose. It is the same as gays not being able to choose who they are attracted to.

Does being asexual mean you are not physically attracted to male or females? For example, I identify as bi-sexual. Do you have a sexual identity? Are you straight?
This is what I was talking about with spectrums. Though asexuals only make up 1% of the population, asexuality is NOT a narrow definition. Like sexual people, most asexuals do experience attraction in a wide spectrum. When I say attraction, I do not mean sexual attraction, but rather the appreciation of someone who looks good, or has a great personality. I am attracted to men, that is to say, some men are cute to me.

The difference between sexual people and asexual people is that asexual people simply do not want anything to do with the Sex part of a relationship, although other areas of a relationship may be okay - it is different for every person as to their comfort levels. Does that mean some want a relationship with another person? Yes.

Is being asexual a big part of your identity?
Yes. There are a few “I AMs” in my life, things that I am sure I am, and while they may waver, they never disappear. Asexuality is one of them.

Have you always been asexual, or were you ever interested in sex in your past?
I have always been asexual. Nothing happened to me (that I remember) that would cause me to become asexual. If there was, I would not be asexual, I would be celibate. All throughout high school I shied away from any sexual conversation. It has caused some tension between my friends and I in the past, before I discovered that there was a term for what I felt, and that I was not alone.

Do you think you will be asexual for the rest of your life?
Yes. Currently, I am beyond happy with who I am. I tried a relationship for two years with a wonderful man. He was very cute (meaning those who think “You just haven’t found the right person” should be bitch-slapped - that statement is untrue and a lack of understanding, but way too often mentioned to asexuals) and we had the same thoughts on a lot of stuff. He waited patiently as I tried to open up to new experiences. But the pressure of a relationship and what he would expect in the future, continued to make me extremely uncomfortable. After two years, I could no longer take it and I broke off the relationship.

Have you ever had sex?
No. I couldn’t get past heavy petting and kissing. Even those are too much for me, although I was at first uncomfortable just holding hands. Of course, quite a few of us asexuals have tried it, and found themselves worse off emotionally for the experience. Some tried it, but simply are indifferent - it was not any different or special to them as going to the store would be. There are two main types of asexuals - Indifferent and repulsed. I fit into the repulsed category.

What are your interests/passions?
I grew up with cockatiels and a dog as pets, so I love animals, especially birds. I have 3 cockatiels. I love color and design, which is why I run my own interior house painting company. I enjoy playing World of Warcraft for fun and anger management.

Were you abused as a child, sexually or physically?
Not that I remember. My family was great to me, and I have no inclination that anyone in my family may have abused me.

Are there any animal species you know of that are asexual?
Yes. Mice are one rather large animal species that have been through some general testing and the results are that a large population of mice are asexual. Other species are being looked at as well.

Are there any online resources for asexuality?
www.asexuality.org is the biggest website with the most information. There is a book in the works, and also a documentary. People from the website have been on TV - The View, Montel Williams, and multiple news stories. I have done two lectures to two of the largest colleges in our area to increase awareness in the GLBT groups at those colleges.

What do you think about nudity?
Appropriate in the shower. ::laugh:: In general, I would say it’s natural to be nude, however I am uncomfortable with being nude any other place than in the shower. I don’t believe nudity should be shown in public only because I don’t want to see it. I’m not a fan of artistic paintings, so I don’t want to see it there either. But that’s just me and I know that’s placing way too many specifications on a society in which *I* am the weird one.

Do you have a romantic partner/boyfriend/girlfriend? Do you want one? If so would you want them to be asexual too? No. Yes, and yes, he would have to be asexual.

Would you ever get married?
Yes. I wouldn’t mind that particularly, although I don’t have much in the way of dreams about a perfect wedding.

Do you ever want to have children? Do you like kids?
I hate babies, they annoy me. I would never want to have my own, the thought of me being pregnant completely revolts me. However, I would love to be a foster parent to older children like teenagers.

Do you ever think about sex involuntarily?
I usually only think about sex when something around me reminds me of it, like accidentally turning to a “women’s movie” in the wrong place, or seeing one of those damn viagra-type commercials.

Do you ever have dreams about sex?
Unfortunately. Thankfully they are rare. My dreams tend to send me lessons, so any dreams about sex are not necessarily a “hidden desire,” but a lesson I must figure out.

What do you think about sex? Does it make you uncomfortable? What aspects of sex do you find distasteful?
The physicality of it. I’m sure the emotional part is great, but the physical part makes me extremely uncomfortable and rather sick. Some of us however are indifferent, they simply don’t care about it.

Do you get annoyed by all the sex in media, ads, movies, music?
Yes, but I have learned to block a lot of it out. I don’t watch or listen to sexuality-driven songs/videos. Sexual-specific commercials (viagra, personal lube types) annoy the hell out of me.

What do you think of porn?
I always remember one quote I heard: “No man has ever died from a semen buildup”. That quote did cause me to think that it isn’t necessary to have porn. I think it’s a society thing more than a human necessity to need things like porn to “get rid of the tension.”

Do you appreciate the human touch?
Yes, touch is great! Massages are great (although non-sexual for me, more of a medical necessity) Cuddling is wonderful. That’s as far as I go though. I must mention though, not every asexual is the same. Some are very touch-aversive, some are okay with just about anything but the sex part. It is definitely a spectrum that differs with each person.

Do you wish more people were asexual?
It sure would be easier to find a asexual guy. I have a feeling that if we didn’t have so much sexuality in our culture and it was not almost a requirement for living in our society, more would be. However that’s just an idea of mine which may be wrong.

Are you on any medications?
None whatsoever, and for those who say “Well you should be!”, I have this to say: Why would I want to “fix” something when I am not broken? Only thing that needs fixing is your closed mind. Call me harsh but I don’t put up with people who are not tolerant of others or choose to not understand their differences.

A friend of mine told me he has a hair fetish. I said, “Excuse me? Tell me more!” And voilà, an interview was born.

What would you call your fetish? Hair fetish? Cutting fetish? Bald fetish?
Not sure how to answer… All three are correct. Sometimes I just say Bald Women Rock, and let the rest come out later if need be.

When did you first realize this was a turn on for you? Did you have a trigger moment?
I can’t think of a trigger moment, but I have always been fascinated by hair, and haircutting, especially extreme haircuts. I hated getting haircuts as a kid, I found them violating, ha. So, this all being thirty years ago, extreme female haircuts were all the more rare, and even more fascinating to me. It made me wonder “why women don’t get their hair cut as short as some guys do? Cuz they could…” I do know that I thought about this a few years before the first Star Trek came out and Princess Ilia (R.I.P.) became the one of the first public faces of Female Baldness.

What are some of your special interests?
I really like different colors in hair. Unnatural ones like blue, green, are great. I love white hair on women… The contrasts of fake blonde with grown out roots is fun as well, similarly, for me. I have a fond memory of passing a truck where a gal inside had a platinum ponytail, with some pretty outstanding inch long or so dark roots.

Do you like all hair colors/types? Red, curly, afro? Anything special?
Pretty much all, yeah. Big afros are great. Big mops of curls rock as well. In a somewhat similar vein (maybe to me, at least) I like the look of a fried perm.

Do you like braids?
Fuckin’ A.

Do you like wigs?
Fuckin’ A.

Do you like cutting hair yourself, or watching someone else cut hair?
I like them both. The goal is for me to be involved as opposed to a spectator, but being involved means I can’t watch in the way that I could if I was indeed a spectator. And it would bother me to miss out on a particularly good vantage point!

Are you into only female hair or do you like male hair stuff too? For yourself or other men?
I like to watch women shave men’s heads. I like to watch their facial expressions. I like to have women shave my head. As a kid, though I hated having my hair cut, but I did like it when an attractive woman did. (See the French movie, “The Hairdresser’s Husband,” which shows the sensations a boy feels when he has a crush on his lady barber.)

What do you love about the act of hair cutting?
Just about everything… What goes through my head is how long it took these proteins to grow, contrasting with how quickly the hair disappears when it is cut off. I love the sounds of scissors cutting hair. I love watching hair slowly fall after it’s been cut. I love the way falling hair defies gravity just a little bit. Buzzing and/or shaving is better- all the sounds, the textures, the drastic-ness, the striptease nature of the shearing. I love the starkness and curves of the bald or shorn female head- such great curves!

Are you a hairdresser? Why the hell not? If you were, would you be hard all the time?
No, I’m not… I have given it lots of thought, but I would be afraid of
A.) Being hard all the time, as you said, or
B.) The dynamic of employment making me lose my interest in one of my favorite things.

Would you want to cum on a woman’s bald head or rub your dick on it?
I wouldn’t object!

Would you like someone to cut or shave your hair? Would you want to be bald with your female partner?
Yes, yes, and fuck yeah.

A lot of men and women think a woman with long hair is the ultimate in femininity, her crowning glory, and the thought of shaving it all off/bald woman is awful to them. What do you think about that?
I do love long hair as well, which seems contradictory to my interest in seeing it shaved, I realize! I suppose that standard wouldn’t bother me if women with short or no hair were considered as beautiful. While society is coming around pretty quickly on this, there could be a lot more acceptance.

Here I go with Britney Spears, sorry… but the moronic media shitstorm surrounding her shaving proves how much further we have to go before bald is considered a legitimate women’s hair (head?) style. Natalie Portman, Sigourney Weaver, and Demi Moore were revered for their bravery and beauty, and while they’re certainly different “artists” than Britney, it was still interesting to note the media response.

For one thing, Britney smiled throughout the entire process, yet media talked about how sad she must have been. One of the asshole cable news channels talked of her “freaky new look”- and I wrote to let them know how mean that was to women who are bald from chemo or alopecia, or yes, those that shave their heads because it looks good.

Hell, days after that, numerous radio stations had promos, giving free stuff away to women who would come in and get “the Britney look”- and women of all stripes walked in and out smiling, some of them sacrificing very long tresses in the process. Weeks after the Britney incident, the [organization name removed upon request] charities proceeded, and many women sacrificed that same crowning glory willingly- some were even sorority girls, who one would think would be the last type of woman who would shave her hair. I think over 2000 women shaved their heads for that charity last year.

I do feel that acceptance is coming around fairly quickly- not quickly enough, however. I have a friend who shaves her head, due to the extreme hair loss of her trichotillomania, and this limits the type of work she can get.

Female head shaving also brings up thoughts of chemo- and some women forgo treatment just so they don’t lose their hair. It’s sad to me that beauty standards have women taking that approach.

If a woman is getting her hair cut/shaved, do you prefer her to be freaking out about it, crying, or excited/happy about it? Is the nervousness behind getting a drastic cut part of the turn on/fun?
Yeah, I’d say the nerves involved are a part of the turn on. All of those emotions that you mentioned are enjoyable for me to watch. (Let me also say that I absolutely do not condone cutting anyone’s hair without their permission.) I do like it also when a woman is perfectly stoic while getting her hair shaved. Actually, that might be the most interesting to me- not “What will everyone think?” not “What have you done to me?!” not “WHEEEEEE!”- but just another day, just another haircut.

Photos from Bald Girlz and Haircutting Fun

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Is your fetish fascinating enough to share? Contact love [at] thebeautifulkind . com

From a website called Infantalism.org:

I wear nappies every night, I have been an adult baby for ten years now but never liked pooing my nappy but like the feel of a full one. Now when I want that full nappy feeling I pour a large tin of rice pudding down it and I get the feel of a full nappy, it is perfect and no pooey smell.

I am the hottest girl at my school. I wore a REALLY short skirt with a bulky diaper under it. I ate choco lax for 3 days and went to the mall. I found excuses to bend down in front of guys and got an awesome reaction. Then, also in front of some guys, I filled the seat of my diaper. I found more excuses to bend over. Also, since I am so hot, guys tried to look up my skirt and saw a poopy diaper and laughed till they wet themselves. Everybody all around the mall was laughing at my big bulging diaper sticking WAY out of my skirt! It was awesome!

An interview I conducted with a 25 year old man who is into being an adult baby:

When did you first get interested in infantalism?
I like every aspect of infantilism, and have been involved since I was 8 years old. I got involved in it by wearing diapers and sucking my thumb. When I got older, life got more stressful, so I started using bottles and pacifiers.

Can you think of a specific memory that influenced you?
My trigger point was probably when I was around 7 close to 8 and I saw my cousin who was 3 years old getting his diaper changed and it looked so comforting and relaxing to be changed and wear a diaper, so it probably started there but not sure. I did steal diapers from him a few times, just to try them on and I enjoyed it and that’s really when I started liking them and it went from there. I also made diapers a lot of times at that age out of towels, and trash bags, and even my moms pads sometimes just for the feeling of something.

What do you like about it?
I am most definitely more comfortable wearing a diaper than underwear. A diaper to me feels like a big hug that does not go away. I love wearing diapers for comfort and relaxing. I like dressing like a baby too, I have diapers, a onesie, baby bottles, adult size pacifier. I just like to let my inner child come out to play when I am regressing to a baby. I like my pacifier and diapers the most probably. When I am a baby it is about comfort and just letting everything go for a little while and relaxing.

Do you have control over your baby urges?
Sometimes I cannot control when the baby comes out in me or mostly toddler. When I have had a babysitter, it usually just came natural for me to regress to a baby. I don’t remember a lot about being cared for and loved as a baby, but it is a big part of it of being a baby to me now.

Does wearing a diaper turn you on?
Wearing diapers does turn me on sometimes. When I am horny and wearing them I masturbate in them.

Does anyone know about your fetish?
About 20 people know about my fetish that know me personally and most ignore it completely. I have friends online into it, but nobody personally around here. I am subscribed to a few sites like dailydiapers.com and diaperspace.com and dpf.com. My parents and a few friends know, but they just ignore this part of me. My mom has became more accepting of it over the years, and even got me a diaper bag last year for Christmas.

How often do you wear diapers?
I wear diapers about 60 percent of the time, except for work so they are a big part of my life, especially my #1 comfort in life. I go through about 15 diapers a week.

That must mean you wear diapers out in public.
Most of the time in public I wear underwear over the diaper it cuts down on the crinkling sound by 80 percent. I have worn a diaper on a few dates. When I have been on a date and wore a diaper, it went more smoothly - I was not as shy, I had more to talk about and was not as nervous because I felt comforted and protected.

What kind of diapers do you wear?
I wear the Attends medium fitted brief diapers mostly.

Do you soil your diapers?
I do urinate and defecate in the diapers. Messing my diaper is very messy to clean up so I usually only do it a few times a month. Most of the time I do use the bathroom, but over time my bladder has gotten a little smaller, so I do dribble some if I am not careful and go when I need to go.

Do you like the feel of a dirty diaper?
I really don’t like sitting in a soiled diaper, I usually change 30 minutes after doing it.

Do you like other people to change your diaper?
I do like having somebody clean me up, it is very comforting and nurturing and loving to be cared for like that.

Do a lot of people do this?
There are millions of people that does this, all involved in different aspects of it, some don’t like diapers and just like a pacifier or bottle and others like it all. 80% of the people into this are men.

Why do you think more men are into it?
I guess because guys are supposed to grow up faster and be the man of the house, but I don’t know, that’s just a theory.

Do you smoke or drink or have any other adult habits?
Diapers are my main comfort to me, and I don’t drink, smoke, or do drugs. As far as I’m concerned, diapers and pacifiers are like smoking, only they are a lot healthier I think. Remember I did not choose to be an adult baby, it just happened and I liked it.

Why do you think people find this fetish so strange?
A lot of people do think this is weird, and I know it is different but I am not hurting anybody and I have a full time job and I am just happy I have a comfort. I know a lot of people do not have comfort in their lives. A lot of people’s habits are along the same line as infantilism, with different fetishes or bondages, but a lot of people think this has to do with pedeophilia and it has nothing to do with that at all.

Are you looking for a babysitter?
Yes I am. The babysitter I used to have moved away.

What would you want your babysitter to do?
I want my babysitter to treat me exactly like a baby, change my diaper, give me a bottle, burp me, feed me, give me a bath, play toys with me, talk to me like a baby. I would like to find someone who could do it two hours every other weekend. I would pay 30 dollars an hour.

A lot of people find this interesting, thanks for being respectable to me about it, a lot of people are not.

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Do you have a fetish you want to share? Contact love [at] thebeautifulkind . com

I have a friend who is into play piercing. What’s that? Oh, sticking needles into yourself for fun and decoration. At first I thought it was fucked up, but with a little more thought I realized it was a lot like tattooing, only less permanent. And sometimes a lot more attractive. GOD there are some hideous tattoos out there. The pic to the left is of my friend and her arm corset. And here, my dears, is my first fetish interview!

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How did you get into play piercing?
Years ago a friend of mine turned me on to www.bmezine.com. I spent a lot of time there looking at various real piercings, to get an idea of what piercings I might like for myself. Eventually I got a blog page there and through that blog page met someone who would later become a very good friend of mine. He and I would send each other interesting pictures of things we found on BME, and a picture of a woman with rings running down her spine with ribbon threaded through them like a corset really caught our eyes. We talked about getting some needles and trying it ourselves. Years went by and we never tried it, but I discovered that my roommate was interested in trying it as well, so we decided to go for it.

Is it sexual?
I think that no matter the person, the answer is yes. For some, the sexuality is right there on the surface. They find it kinky, it turns them on, etc. For me it is sexual, but in a more subtle way. There is a build-up and a release of tension, intimate penetration, relinquishment of control, primal communication between two people…

Does it hurt?
The act of pushing a needle into your skin causes pain which is on par with the prick of an injection. The act of watching the needle crawl under your skin and through the underlying fascial layers actually causes no pain at all, and then the most pain comes when the needle exits through the other side. Different parts of your body react differently to the needles. However for me, this pain is pleasurable, and I enjoy blurring the line between pain and pleasure.

Do you consider it self-mutilation or self-expression?
For me, it is self-expression. For something to be mutilation, it has to be degrading to the appearance or function of the body. Some people may personally consider play piercing (and other types of body modification) mutilation. To them, a piercing, tattoo, or other body mod takes away from the person. I enjoy the way the needles look in my skin, mostly because of what they represent. I think play piercings can be beautiful, especially when placed into the skin in an appealing pattern, or when you use ribbon to connect them.

What do you get out of it?
I’ve found that nothing in this world is simple, and that goes for play piecing as well. There are many layers to it. We are wired to withdraw from pain. By intentionally picking up a needle and pushing it into my own skin, I am subverting and thus taking control over very primitive drives. It is an exercise in control over oneself. I get an endorphin rush both from the physical act of piercing my skin, as well as from the psychological act of being strong-willed enough to overcome my own anxieties. It is very similar in some aspects to diving from the high-dive or doing anything else you’re afraid to do, but you do it anyway regardless of your fear. There is a build of anxiety and excitement and then at some point you just need to let go. I seek that feeling of letting go, of owning myself, and seeing how far I can push my own boundaries.

I have also allowed others to pierce me, and I have pierced others. When I am piercing someone, I enjoy having someone else trust me enough that they allow me to penetrate them so intimately and relinquish control to me. I enjoy giving them pleasure and being so intimately involved in helping them accomplish whatever it is they set out to accomplish -transformation, overcoming fears, etc.

When I first began piercing, I thought I would be unable to pierce myself. I imagined that I would get out the needle, clean my skin, put it to my skin and be unable to actually push it through. Yet when I finally was ready, my mind simply cleared into almost a meditative state. I had a profound sense of disassociation - it was as if I had stepped back into myself to let someone else take over. I felt like I was an observer instead of a participant. Only afterwards did I have time to think, “I actually did it. There is a needle in my arm. I did this.”

Where do you get the needles?
There are actually quite a few places online to get play piercing needles. Usually they are fetish medical supply stores (www.kinkymedical.net) or you can also get them through BMEZine’s online shop. They also come in different guages - the bigger the needle, the harder it bites you.

What did it look like after you took the needles out?
There were little tiny mini-drops of blood at each needle hole. The needles leave tiny dots which fade after a few days. If, however, you pierce through a blood vessel, it can bleed quite a bit more and leave a bruise. Usually no one can tell where I’ve had the needles. Different parts of the body may bleed more than others, especially vessel-rich areas like the face.

Did you do it yourself?
The work in the pictures was done by me, except for one needle. Midway through applying needles to myself I thought, “Wow, I would not want someone else do this to me.” The fact that I was anxious about trusting someone else to put needles into me made me realize that I should, therefore, allow someone else to put a needle into me. So I asked my friend (who was sticking needles into himself) to put the last one in. As he did, I could not help but look away like most people do when they get an injection at the doctor’s office. I was trying to lower my anxiety threshold by looking away. Next time, I plan to completely relinquish control to him and watch everything he does. My way of overcoming fears has always been to dive headlong into them and then tell myself, “See, that wasn’t so bad!” I also had the same friend straighten out the corset and tie the bow because that’s not easy to do with one hand.

Do you have a fetish you want the world to know about? Contact love [at] thebeautifulkind . com

I have to say I’ve been amazed at the comments I’ve received on yesterday’s post. I wasn’t sure what to expect, but I wouldn’t have been surprised to catch a few hateful diatribes that would have shriveled any fragile fetus. Instead, I got intelligence, support, and rational reasoning. And y’all are fucking funny, too! Um, wow.

One thing I totally agree on is that pregnant women are sexy goddesses, and nothing is more feminine, ripe, and curvy than a pregnant woman in her third trimester.

But what’s with pregnant sluts and that whole fetish? I know two guys who are into it. It’s definitely taboo. I sure as hell didn’t feel very sexy at that stage, so I gotta hand it to people like Belladonna who shot porn while preggo, and this whore ad I saw on Craigslist earlier this year:

Pregnant is better, you should find out why
You’ll never know unless you try it.
Im 5′8,148lbs and 6 1/2 mo along so if
your interested ill send contact info and pics to you..

One good thing about having a baby or two is that your body changes and you can become more orgasmic after giving birth. Sure there’s the healing period (it took me a YEAR to recover down there, thanks to the fact that my ob/gyn was episiotomy happy and my ex-husband didn’t feel like sitting around massaging my perineum with olive oil beforehand - I sure as hell couldn’t reach) but I know quite a few woman who were able to ejaculate after their phase of fecundity. And hey, there’s the added bonus of breast milk.

Oh and by the way - Susie Bright, one of my heroes, used her Hitachi Magic Wand during labor. I TOLD you that thing is magic.