Like a Virgin: Losing My Religion, Pt 2
Filed under: Eros - September 21, 2008 @ 6:00 amContinued from last Sunday’s post (clearly I cut it off too soon and annoyed some folks):
Eventually, after a couple of years of this experimentation, there came a day when we were eleven where she asked about oral sex. By this time, we had gone through nearly all of her father’s porn magazines (there were about 1000) and had learned some interesting things. Our experimentation had also progressed from mere kissing to groping under the shirt and under the underwear. She had already developed breasts, and I was no stranger to rock hard erections.
We were somewhat familiar with each other’s anatomy. So, without hesitation, I went down on her first. I remember getting instantly turned on by her fluff of pubic hair. If I may paraphrase the great Bill Hicks, her pussy was like “a paper cut surrounded by a wisp of cotton candy.” The taste was sweet, pungent and very arousing.
I wasn’t able to get her off, but then again, I was only eleven. When I finished, she took my pubescent boy/manhood in her mouth, and after about four or five tugs and slurps, I unloaded in her mouth. She promptly spit it out and started laughing. Her laughter was infectious, and I began laughing as well, thus breaking the tension.
One day the following school year, while “making plans” in our secret bunker (my basement) she asked if I wanted to try sticking it in her. This was my big moment! Mom and dad were at work, and they trusted me and my brother to stay at home by ourselves. Little did they know what I was actually getting up to, and soon, in to.
I knew that it was going to be awesome, to use the parlance of the time. By this point, there was already talk on the school yard about sex, but I kept my mouth shut, knowing that I was already light years ahead of my classmates, and secretly laughing at all of the myths and fallacies that were being propagated by the uninitiated.
So, E and I began our play as usual by kissing, then fondling, then oral. She then laid back on a chair, spread her legs, and asked me to fuck her. I guided the head of my cock between the lips of her pussy, and without so much as a thought about what would happen next, thrust into her with all of my might.
In an instant, I knew things had gone horribly, horribly wrong. E let out a scream of pain, frantically told me to stop, and then stood up, pulled her pants on, and ran upstairs into the bathroom. I didn’t know what to do, but one thing seemed perfectly clear: I needed to finish myself off. I stroked my cock a few times, and before I knew it, I had made a mess all over the basement carpet.
Not knowing what else to do, I rubbed it into the shag to hide the evidence, buttoned up, and ran upstairs after her. She was in the bathroom crying, but I could tell that the worst was over. She came out and said she wasn’t feeling well and had to go home and then she left.
Subsequent to that day, E and I tried a few more times, and eventually it went like it was supposed to go. We fooled around throughout the rest of junior high, but by high school we had ceased and after graduation eventually lost touch with one another.
She recently came back into my life, though, and we still laugh about our wild youth and the day we lost our virginity to each other. We are now good friends again, but now she’s come out as a lesbian, thus ruining any chance we might have of finally making the sparks fly.
I look back on the fateful autumn day in 1988 with a fondness that isn’t shared for most other events in my life. I also look back on that say as the turning point spiritual castigation. On that day, I lost my faith in religion by casting off the stigma that came with sexual repression. I liked sex. I refused to feel shame for it. Subsequently, I grew suspicious of other dogmatic teachings by the church, and eventually, after going through the sacrament of confirmation, I renounced my association with organized religion.
So that fateful day in 1988 was not only the day that I lost my virginity, but in turn, my religion as well.
September 21st, 2008 at 8:31 am
Please, TBK, don’t say “cut it off” when introducing a story about the penis in glorious action.
Ouch!
September 21st, 2008 at 11:29 am
Yay! The end to the story, finally. Thanks, TBK. It was kind of what I thought it might be, but it was still interesting to read it. Like some sort of online voyeur.
September 21st, 2008 at 1:50 pm
NewWrldYankee: Isn’t that what we’re all doing here? Being online voyeurs?
September 21st, 2008 at 2:49 pm
AWW, I love it till the end. Sad to think he lost his religion. I know I’m here with a bunch of athiests but as far as I’m concerned God made us and made our bodies pleasurable. Nothing wrong with that. God wants you to want sex! Man’s laws aren’t necessarly God’s laws. All the “rules” about sex were made up by PEOPLE, remember. You have to find your own way. If you’ve ever had an experience with a lover that was so amazing and deep that you felt as if you’ve blended souls, you know you’ve had a spiritual experience.
September 21st, 2008 at 7:12 pm
Chiavata, you are gorgeous. Your comment made my heart swell. Thanks for speaking your truth. Comments like this are precisely why I stick around and muddle through everyone’s dirty experiences - so many of them (because the TBK readers *are* smart and sensitive) lead to spiritual revelations and insights.
September 21st, 2008 at 7:21 pm
This is all so sweet! Thank you for offering a different perspective. Glad to see we all believe in beauty and divine pleasure.
I have spiritual experiences daily. But I have myself to thank for them, not some higher power. I believe in ME.
September 21st, 2008 at 10:09 pm
TBK, your last comment reminded me of the old Crystal Light commercial: “I believe in Crystal Light because I believe in me!”
heh heh.
And real quick, I myself am not an atheist, per se. I’m more of an agnostic, really. I think that there is a possibility that there is some ultimate creative force in the universe, but I also think that it could all just be a random series of events, too. But if there is a creative force, I don’t think its some benevolent guy with a beard and white robes looking down on us. I’m willing to bet its something undefinable by the human mind. I’m not staking a claim in any belief, whether it be in a deity or nothingness and randomness. I don’t know, and most likely never will, and I’m not about to lay claim to knowledge I don’t have. But at the risk of sounding contradictory, I adamantly do not believe in organized religion for a host of reasons.
September 21st, 2008 at 10:13 pm
As a former Baptist child (yes I know), I can say with certainty that there is a HUGE difference between spirituality and religion. They are not the same or equal. You can have spirituality without religion and religion without spirituality.
Similar comparisons are made with sex and love. You can have sex without love and love without sex. Okay, at least some can. I was raised with some who still believe those are tied together.
I, too, have spiritual experiences on a regular basis, but never religious ones.
September 24th, 2008 at 8:54 am
Chiavata- beautifully said, i agree…..
big boy- i feel ya, all we know is nothing…..
tbk- i’d love to help you have a religious experience soon
Rockabilly girl - no wonder you’re a freak
September 24th, 2008 at 6:15 pm
Rockabilly Girl, you are absolutely right! I consider myself spiritual and not religious, and also have spiritual experiences often, but not religious ones.
That was a really lovely story actually. I’m a little saddened that she’s a lesbian [for your sake] but I did sort of chuckle at that bit after the screaming and running up the stairs bit. What a beautiful way to discover your sexuality and lose your virginity