The Beautiful Kind

I went to my first FLOG last weekend. FLOG is the local Fetish Lifestyle Open Group.

I went on a good night.

The group meets in a local meeting hall. There’s a minimal cover charge, and as soon as you attend one, you get a laminated card that will get you in from then on - no yearly fee or anything, it’s very open and flexible. I recommend that if you want to attend, you join FetLife first, make connections there, and then go as someone’s guest. I emailed the FLOG site for an invitation and never heard back from anyone.

My escort was a friendly neighborhood Dom who is married to two slaves. They’ve had this arrangement for 3 years now. His first wife had a white piece of rope knotted around her ankle, which she told me was a symbol of her slavery and never came off. His second wife wore a beautiful emerald corset and had the pleasure of being horizontally suspended ala Japanese bondage and flogged.

She came that way.

But wait, let me back up. I loved that everyone wore a name tag - blue for subs, red for Doms, red and blue for switches. It was so cute to see people walking around with name tags that read, “Ponyboy,” “Master Dave,” and “Cum Slut.” Mine was blue of course, and read “The Beautiful Kind.” I liked guessing what a person was from afar, then checking out the color of their tag for confirmation. If only we ALL walked around properly tagged in life!

There were a lot of vendors there selling colored rope, collars, floggers, nipple clamps, etc. A lot of handmade stuff, affordably priced.

The hall was packed with people socializing. Some wore street clothes like me. After all, it was my first time - I was just there to observe. Others wore electrical tape, a g-string, and heels. You have to cover nipples and genitals, but other than that it’s a pretty flexible dress code.

A big, tall man in all leather carried in his cute little sub, also in leather. A tall man with a crew cut elegantly cut a swath through he crowd in his fishnets and stiletto heels. One man wore a shirt that said, “OBEY ME.” There were a few people of color in a sea of white. Lots of black attire, could’ve been Goth Night. Or Renaissance Faire. Or a Star Trek convention. Or Leopard Print night.

God there was so much to take in, it was overwhelming. And this wasn’t even their annual Halloween party! (They also have a Spanksgiving party.) Lots of clothed men and nearly naked women, LOTS of people being led on a leash. I envied the ones wearing collars…

But fuck that’s just the audience. Then there was the stage.

The stage had three play areas, then three more play areas on the ground floor in front of it. When all six play stations were in full swing, my head practically exploded with all the visual stimulation. The sounds of smacks, whacks, and screams punctuated the loud music (Gwar?? it sucked) and chatty conversations.

The play stations consisted of big wooden crosses, a wooden arch with metal hooks, a couple of kneeling benches, and a large padded sit-n-spin with wrist and ankle cuffs. I’d like to have a go on THAT thing. You have to bring your own toys. People brought just about everything but the kitchen sink - bug zappers, cattle prods, ping pong paddles, riding crops, whips, floggers…

Fishnet boy got a beating on one of the wooden crosses. When my escort Dom was working his second wife over (she was hanging from colored rope tied to her body from head to toe, and when I say head, I mean her long hair was tied to the top pulley as well), his first wife stood next to me, drink in hand, and murmured, “Doesn’t her ass look great like that? I mean, it always looks great, but it’s the perfect way to display it.” I had to agree.

I’m pretty sure one Dom there doesn’t need a gym membership - he gets his workout from attending FLOG. I saw him beat three different women the three hours I was there. He worked up a sweat. I LOVED watching how a scene would unfold. She would kneel over a bench, and he would warm her up by slapping her body all over with his hands. Then he brought out the floggers. When he had both floggers going at once in a fancy parade move, it looked like a carwash. And I crowed with delight when he shed his button down shirt at one point. Yep - he was wearing a wifebeater.

Then he would move on to whips. Then a paddle the size of a fucking OAR. Every once in a while the woman would rear up and roar like a bucking horse, and he would pause, lay his body on her, murmur comforting words in her ear, then resume when she was ready for more. By the time he was done with her, her pale body was lobster red. At the end of the session, his two slaves (chained together) scurried up and anointed her welts with cool water, and brought a cup to her lips. They wrapped a towel around her and she smiled.

I loved how the Doms would cradle their subs heads in their hands as they attended to them. It was super tender - helped them keep in touch and connected.

A senior couple took center stage - let’s just call them your grandma and grandpa. Your grandma shed her polka dot dress and got shackled nude to the wooden arch, save her support stockings, a blindfold, and some pasties. Your grandpa sent her through the routine. I LOVED watching him electrocute her one minute, then embrace and kiss her tenderly the next. It brought a tear to my eye. They carried on like this for an hour.

One tiny little cute thing wearing bra and panties got trussed up with her hands tied above her head, blindfolded, then forced to walk on tip toes between two men holding a rope. The rope had knots all along its length, and was wedged up between her legs. So walking forward, she felt the curious sensation of bumps hitting her clit. Walking backwards, on the other hand, twisted up her pussy lips and snagged and dragged and created quite a scene. She kept yelping, especially when they SAWED the rope up tight between her lips. They kept popping out of her thong, and swelled up baboon pink.  She LOVED “Walking the Line.”

Her cute little bare feet got dirty, and rumor had it that at the end of the night, her switch poly partner was gonna to lick them clean…

My escort Dom asked me if I wanted to be tied up. I said yes.

What happened next made ME almost cum…

Part II of My First FLOG on Thursday.

PS: I snagged a couple of these pics from this site - BDSM Chicks.

Speaking of fucking people, Capn Marrrk showed me this new online tool you can use to keep track of your sex life called Bedpost.

Oh ho ho, is this perfect for me or WHAT?

I’ve been using it for about a week, and I like it. You can add as many partners as you want, and even upload their photo so their sexy mug shows up on your calendar.

You can assign tags to each encounter, which translate into a handy pie chart dissecting your signature sex moves (i.e., blowjob, facesitting, doggy style, outdoors, golden shower, made me bleed).

I can’t wait to document my next orgy - forget the pie chart, that’ll look like a nine tier wedding cake!

Oooh, we’re getting EXTRA kinky here! And who do we have to thank? Our own dear Belle, who is accompanied by her lovely assistant and primary partner, Flimsy. Here is a double whammy review…

So Beautiful pays a visit to my apartment and leaves this hiding in my antique chest:

*4 pt restraint system
*ponytail butt plug
*crucifix lollipop

I gleefully remove the restraint system from the box: it’s made of nylon and has slightly padded cuffs, which can be secured by Velcro. The whole operation fits between the box spring and the mattress, with the cuffs poking out.

I set up the restraints on my king-sized bed, but am a little worried they will be too short, even at the longest length. So I loosely restrain myself. The guy I plan on using them with is a whole head taller than I am and one lanky flexible bastard (He is my Flimsyman!), so there will be plenty of length.  I stuff the cuffs under my bed and wait for my victim.

He’s over later, and we’re wrestling. I’m biting him and he is trying to smack my ass.  “Do that again and I’ll tie you down” I growl into his smirking face. He does.

I reach down and whip out a cuff. Surprise! I cuff him.

“How is this attached?” he asks.

“Fuck you” I say, shoving him over on his stomach. I cuff his other hand. He lets me cuff his feet. He claims he can escape, so I let him try – he manages to undo a cuff by rolling the edge of it on the bed until the Velcro closures catch. He then reaches down with his fingers and pries it off. If you want something your partner REALLY can’t escape from, lock and key is the way to go, especially if your partner is ultra flexible.

*Flimsyman says: Yeah, if given time, it’s possible to escape the mere Velcro, though it’s not going to happen very quickly (or at all if the restrained partner isn’t a bit flexible).  They’re comfortable, too; they look only lightly padded, but even straining pretty hard, they don’t chafe your wrists.

I replace the cuff and he struggles against the restraints. At first, he is afraid he will break something. When I assure him the cuffs are attached to themselves under the bed, he pulls harder, folding the mattress up just a little bit.

*Flimsyman says: The straps are impressively adjustable.  I’ve gone from flat on my back to my stomach with more than enough leeway to prop myself up on elbows and knees.

I tighten the straps. He is facedown on the bed, still grinning. So I reach over to my nightstand and pull out: THE PONYTAIL PLUG.

He gets a gander at what I’ve got. “That’s HUGE!” He’s never had more than a finger or two up his ass. I lube it up. I shove his face back down onto the mattress, and then reach under him to lift his ass in the air.

After about ten minutes of foreplay – licking, caressing, touching his genitals and ass, I poke it in gently. He moans. I stroke his cock with my other hand and slowly work it in.

The plug gets about 7/8 of the way in when he starts grunting. It’s so close to going in; just a tiny push and it will be there. But it hurts. He calls his safeword: scorpion.

THE PLUG: 1. ASSHOLES: 0

*Flimsyman says: The plug is about as long and wide at it’s biggest dimensions as an average sized dick.  The curvature of different people’s assholes vary, and some people won’t do so well with one this long, although the girth is no problem for an experienced rectum.

The plug looks pretty big to me. But my asshole accepts cocks easily without complaint, so I give it an incredulous look, clean it off, relube and stick it right in. Flimsyman is shocked.

*Flimsyman says: I’ve never seen something that size invade a posterior with so little preperation or foreplay.

THE PLUG: 1. ASSHOLES: 1

I run around the apartment, wagging my tail. It’s so cute! Contrary to everyone else, tails don’t seem necessarily submissive to me. I used to wish I had a tail when I was a kid, and spent many days in grade school classes imagining I had a tail sticking out the back of my desk chair.

I danced around on the bed, teasing him. He grabs the tail and pulls it, pulling me to him. He yanks me on top if him. Soon, we’re fucking, the tail still in me. Now I understand what Beautiful means when she talks about feeling SO FILLED UP.

So overall, the restraints are fun, but not very hardcore. They are great for experimenting and light bondage play. The tail is best for experienced asses. Flimsy tried on two more occasions to get it in, and it was in all the way once, but hurt so much he immediately took it back out.

The crucifix lollipop was smaller, maybe I will stick that in his ass next time. That’s why Beautiful gave it to me, right?

This upcoming week will feature all things Belle! Monday will bring us a rompin’ guest sex toy review, and Wednesday’s YATBK is her shiny and new primary partner. These two posts alone will give us a nice peek into what she’s been up to lately, which, by the way, is stuff that practically makes ME blush…

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Here’s a true story by Coyote…

Den Mother

I was 22, working for my father in his CPA business.  I had been talking to random women from a local dating site, and found myself chatting up a 47-year-old woman.  I honestly can’t remember why we started chatting, but it quickly went from flirty to sexual.

We decided to meet after work hours, close by my office to see if there was chemistry. We chose a parking lot and I sat in her van as we chatted.

This wasn’t a “maybe we’ll hit it off” meeting.

This was a “if we’re not weirded out, we’re going to fuck” meeting.

She was a rather plain woman, a grandmother, a Boy Scout Den Mother. Busty, but out of shape. Frumpy. She wore a jumpsuit that day. I was like I am now, tall, lean, pale.

I showed her my interest in her by taking her hand and putting it over my erection, which she nervously stroked through my pants. It didn’t take long for us to drive over to my dad’s office…

The door closed behind her and I went at her. Kissing only lasted maybe 30 seconds, and then I dropped down to pull her pants + panties down and lick her pussy. She was shocked and delighted by it, but even that didn’t last long.

Clothes came off shortly after and I was sitting back in a waiting room chair with her kneeling and sucking intently, hungrily, gratefully.

I could have sworn we did it missionary first, but I only really remember her bent over and me pounding her from behind. A lot. She was quite vocal about all of her orgasms, and I was quite happy to give them all to her.

After some time, I came pretty hard and pulled out, changing condoms. The break was short and I was in her with a fresh condom almost right away.

Here’s where things get fun: I knew she was interested in anal, which I had never done before. I literally spit on her ass to lube it up, pulled out of her pussy, and slowly pushed in her ass.

At eight inches, I didn’t realize how insanely hard that could be for someone to take, but even she was surprised how easily I slid in.  It was awesome, tight, and we didn’t go slow for long.  We both came that way, almost simultaneously.

I’m a Den Motherfucker.

The url for this one says it all… here goes my fav porn star Belladonna, up to her crazy antics…

1. I love their matching outfits - white over the knee socks, and silver bondage rope. I think I’ve come up with my Halloween costume for this year! All I need is a funnel…
2. I wonder what it feels like to be bent in half with a funnel up your ass and someone pissing in it?
3. She did NOT just do that. Aww, so sweet how Belladonna holds her hair…
4. The slurping sounds makes me gag a little.
5. God they are so cute and kinky…

Someone sent me a Sex Addict Self Test. A sampling of some of the questions, with my answers:

Does your use of the behavior have a recurrent pattern?
Um yes, I tend to do it until I cum a few times. Is that bad?

Has the behavior gotten “worse” or “stronger”?
I would say it’s quite strong, and only grows. Is that bad?

Did you start out with lesser behaviors and then move to stronger behaviors/materials?
What, like making out with my girl friend in 5th grade and moving on to stripping at age 19? I guess…

Did you start out spending less time involved in these behaviors, and have you moved to spending more time with them and less time involved in “real life” activities?
Well I did decline my friend’s recent invitation to play cards…

Can you stop? Are you able to go, say, 2 or 4 weeks without the suspected behaviors? How about 6 months? Does the thought of going weeks or months without the behaviors scare you?
I guess I can stop, but WHY? And is it wrong to think a life without orgasms is like a life without color? Eek I’m scared.

Have you tried to stop in the past and been unable to?
Um no, should I?

Do you use the behaviors to help yourself feel good?
Well, yes actually, I thought that was the whole point. It’s not like I do it to increase my vocabulary or reduce global warming. Now I feel guilty.

Do you use the behaviors to help yourself get to sleep?
If you’re just lying there, why the hell not? What, are sleeping pills preferable? Excuuuse me for rubbing one out and sleeping like a baby. Sheesh.

Conclusion: I’m just awesome.

Dear Slut,
I am a fairly hairy woman, and a bit on the hippie dippy side (meaning, I’ve always let my underpants area just be hairy).

Recently I’ve been watching more porn (thanks partly to your reviews. . . jeez, the stuff that’s out there!) and am really digging some of the hoochie haircuts I’ve been seeing.  You’ve mentioned before that you like your women with hair, but I’m wondering how much?

More to the point, I need pointers on how to tame the wild beast of hair I’ve got going in my nether-regions.  I’m freaked out to wax, because holy crap, how much does it hurt to wax your legs?. . . I can’t imagine doing that to my poor vulva!  And, I’m thinking that wet shaving would suck.

When I do my bikini line, I get ingrown hairs and razor burn and it just looks gross.  I’d love to get my lips, ass and bikini line clean, leaving a good womanly patch up top. . . I’m not so down with completely clean shaven, it just looks too prepubescent for me.

Do you know how porn stars get that super smooth look that I’m interested in?  Does that turn you on at all?
Furry Femme

Dear Fur Elise,

Do you know why I like body hair so much? It’s because it reminds me that I’m with a HUMAN BEING, an ANIMAL. Not some plastic mannequin. The reason why I shave my legs and pits sometimes (if I don’t feel like it, I don’t shave) is to provide more contrast between me and my manbeasts. I love contrast.

I tend to go with a trimmed bush (”AIN’T I A WOMAN?”), but will shave it all off every season just for fun. I ESPECIALLY like it when some Dom bastard tells me to be very still, and then shaves me pink and clean with a very sharp razor. Then as soon as he has wiped away the last bit of shave cream, he eats the fuck out of my pussy and makes me rejoice unto the lord. And then he sticks his big ol’ hairy junk in my pretty little business. But I digress.

Those porn star pussies are the result of waxing (they also bleach their assholes.) You can also get baldilocks look by wet shaving or, less effectively, with an electric razor, but the hair grows back in a couple days and it gets abrasive down there.

Here’s my take on bushwhacking:

1. Shaved pussies are BABYISH.
2. Don’t wax. Fuck that!
3. For a wet shave, use warm water. Sit in the bath for a little bit to soften things up, then sit on the edge of the tub and spread ‘em. Use shave cream and a fresh razor. (try one of those pink Venus razors that has replaceable heads - they even vibrate - bonus!) Go slow. Pat your puss dry. Putting witch hazel on it afterwards cuts down on razor burn. Finish the job with a little  moisturizer meant for sensitive skin.

Now you are ready for your porn shoot!

A few hours before our date, young Westley emailed me saying: “I’m quivering with manticipation.”

I have to admit, I was looking forward to it, too. He’s tall, dark, handsome, prime cougar material… I had a hunch he was a good lover. My intuition was spot on.

It was our first date. I told him I wanted him not to shave for a couple days prior, since I’m a fan of the stubble. He said he would accommodate me as long as I wore a skirt for him. Done and done. He picked me up and we had sushi. You’ll recall that sushi is like foreplay to me.

Then we went back to his place. His place is the basement of his dad’s house. OH MY GOD his dad is one rich motherfucker. That place was SWANK - luxurious landscaping, exclusive neighborhood, crystal, vintage guitars, poof dog, full bar, pool table, the place went on and on…

We retired to his bedroom and I asked to see the porn stash on his computer. It was the first time he watched porn with a woman - he showed me this hot sybian video featuring an adorable Russian chick.  He’s also into celebrities, pretty faces, and sex scenes from mainstream movies. We watched this one with Demi Moore and Michael Douglas that was pretty hot, some fun power exchange going on there.

He had this one really cute video with Nina Hartley demonstrating how to eat pussy. He did his homework with that - got a gold star, even though I practically wore him out - it can take me a while to cum with someone new.

But he got me back by wearing me out later!

But let me back up - I told him I don’t fuck on the first date. I used to routinely, but have since discovered that seduction and anticipation makes the courtship process more fun. So I was expecting our date to be a meet-n-greet, not a meet-n-eat… But I dunno, I was just feeling it. He was such a sweetheart.

We took turns giving each other backrubs, and when he laid face down on the bed, I straddled him and pressed my body against his, letting my hair drape around his head and my tits press against his back. He turned his head, our mouths were close to one another’s, and so we went ahead and kissed. It was nice.

I let him sit up, and asked if he was wearing a t-shirt under his button down. He said yes, I said, “Is it a wifebeater?!” He said, “Well I call it an A-frame shirt, since wifebeater sounds white trash.”

“Hmf, whatever Richie Rich!” I scoffed, and started unbuttoning his shirt.

“Now come on,” he protested, “I’m not some spoiled rich kid. This house isn’t me.”

“I’d say you’re pretty spoiled right now…”

While we were getting down, I could hear his dad walking around upstairs, which was totally hot. He had no idea his son had a cougar in the house…

And it was interesting - non-sexually, he’s just a nice guy, almost dorky. But when we entered the sex zone, he turned sexy and mature.

He stopped and asked, “So what do you want?”

I replied, “I want you to take control. I want to feel you.”

With that, he pinned me to the bed by my wrists, our bodies pressed together as we kissed.

I got a little too eager and already mentioned this, but it’s worth mentioning again - he ate my pussy, and it was GOOD. He stayed steady on it, didn’t give up too soon, had some awesome tongue flick moves - anytime he got tired, he would downgear to something different, but then would switch back to the lizard treatment I like so well.

I sucked his cock, and at one point he looked down at me and said with a playful smile, “You really enjoy doing that, don’t you?”

My mouth was full, so I just gave him a look.

He worshiped my breasts wonderfully - you should have heard me carrying on - I giggled and sighed like I was at an Elvis concert.

We had the sex - he had these fun condoms that were packaged in little discs. He was sooo hard, and did me soo good - it got pretty energetic. Missionary, me on top, doggy style… Oh, and he’s a growler! AND he’s werewolf hairy!!! Chest, back, even epaulets… He has werewolf eyes - amber and changing…

Here is a bit in his words:

We started off with you riding me slowly.  I slid into you wonderfully with your pussy glistening from my tongue moments earlier.  I could tell you wanted more and you started riding me like an animal.  Your voice reaching peaks and speeds when we found that rhythm together.  I loved your voice when you got really excited.  When you were near climax you started moaning louder.  You would tell me not to stop.  Your words would fly out so fast as if you didn’t have time to express all you needed to as I fucked you faster.  As you came I could physically feel your pussy tightening and releasing around the shaft of my rock hard cock.  After you came we switched to me mounting on top of you.  Sliding into you again and working slowly.  The head of my cock easing lightly through your pussy lips, back and forth, never quite going all the way in.  Without warning I thrust into your waiting pussy, engorged with anticipation.  I started moving into you deeply, although not so much with speed.  Your legs then draped over my shoulders as I was on my knees pounding into you.  We fucked until we were both covered in sweat.  When all was done the force of my thrusting had nearly thrown us from the bed itself.

The session went on for a long time, leaving me very satisfied. We finally finished him off by hand, taking turns jerking it. I liked watching him do that… as for me, I came three times. Yes, yes yes!

Later, he told me he sported a war wound - a deep scratch on his shoulder. I told him, “Ha, you got scratched by a cougar!”

He replied, “I may have been scratched by a cougar, but the cougar was definitely eaten by me. ;-)”

The other day I was on FetLife and I asked a guy what his idea of a good time was. Here is his reply. God I love that site…

After a few rounds with me, you could add to your “slut” and “whore” repertoire the fairly long title “perverted little incestuous cocksucking, ass-licking, triple-holed daddy’s fucktoy.”

After grabbing you by your hair, dragging you into a bedroom, telling you what a naughty and disobedient little daughter you have been and that you deserve some serious punishment to teach you a lesson, then forcing you to strip, one piece at a time, laying you naked across my knees and spanking your ass until you are screaming for mercy, forcing you to endure multiple prolonged rapes in each of your holes by my cock, fists, dildo (verrrry big ones), which would find you plugged and hard-fucked simultaneously in all 3, then I would tie you down spreadeagled and use my lips, teeth and tongue to WORSHIP at your altar, your beautiful gushing pussy where your clit, your labia, your every inner and outer part would be bathed, stroked, poked, tickled, licked, flicked, lashed, mashed, gibbled, nibbled, and otherwise sent into sensory overload until your multiple screaming orgasms totally drained your cum-tank and you are reduced to a slobbering, wailing, spasming rag of flesh, piteously blubbering for me to stop torturing you and be merciful. Ah yes, beautifulkind, you would finally be reduced to hissing out your safeword in total surrender before my onslaught of worship would finally change from total aggression to

taking your exhausted and quivering body gently in my arms, whispering in your goddess ears what an unspeakably divine being of utter pleasure and ecstasy your are. My lips would gently, delicately brush away all your pain and my fingers would tenderly stroke new life and euphoria back into your strained muscles as I tell you that you are beyond wonderful. My god, girl, at that point I would be so in awe of your divinity that you could take total command of my entire being for as long as you desired; at least until you had a good opportunity to give me the working over of your dreams…

Alias: Sapph, which is short for Sapphire, which everyone always assumes is a stage name I got as a stripper.  It’s not, and I didn’t.
Age: Like fine wine, sluts improve with age - 37.
Relationship status: Extremely happy wife of one man, extremely happy slave of another man.  I’m deeply in love with both of them in different ways, and lucky that in almost a decade, it has never stopped them from being very close friends as well.
Sexual orientation: After years of being told that as a bisexual, I was “confused,” or a “fence sitter,” I gave up defining myself as bisexual.  I am not bisexual, confused or a fence sitter.  I am GREEDY and damn proud of it.
Favorite physical feature on yourself: Despite the picture, it would actually be my eyes.  I love my red hair, love my cleavage, but my eyes are special.  Grey when I’m upset, blue when I’m happy, and green as an emerald when I’m horny.  Guess which color they are most often?
Tattoos/piercings: Three holes in each ear.  Hubby and I want our Celtic knot wedding band design tattooed on our ring fingers.  We’ve been married long enough that we’re comfortable saying this really is forever.  Lots of temporary piercings over the years.
Beauty tip: You are not nearly as flawed or imperfect as you think you are, or as the really shitty people in your life have told you that you are.  Your perspective, and theirs, is skewed.  Get some new friends and a new perspective - don’t surround yourself with anyone who makes you feel “less than.”  We are all “The Beautiful Kind” in our own unique way.
Charity you support: Various cat/dog/unusual pet rescues.  Also, the Kristen Brooks Hope Center aka KBHC Hopeline aka 1-800-SUICIDE.  Keep the Hopeline out of government hands!
If you could take a class for fun right now, what would you take? My very sexy husband is big into pottery.  I would like to take some classes so that I could learn enough to create pottery with him WITHOUT having to bug him every 2 seconds with questions.  All the questions interfere with the whole “Ghost” atmosphere. LMAO
What do you want to learn/add to what you already know? I’m a self-taught programmer and developer - I’d like to finally get around to securing the degree that actually goes with my skills.
Did you have an imaginary friend growing up? I had three and they were all male.  Now really, is anyone surprised by this?
What is one of the bravest things you have ever done? Let me put this in perspective - until 9 years ago, I was a fire fighter.  Nothing I encountered on the job ever compared to making the decision as an adoptee to pick up the phone and call my birth family for the first time.  I have never been so terrified in my life.
Special skill/talent, what are you really good at? (non-sexual):  I paint ceramic Christmas/Solstice ornaments, and I’m actually damn good at it!  I also have a bizarre affinity for computers.  Everything about them - hardware, programming, you name it - makes perfect sense to me.  I wish people were as simple to understand.
Special skill/talent, what are you really good at? (sexual):  About 12 years ago, a group of very good friends gave me a nickname I have proudly worn ever since - Cum Guzzling Road Whore.  ’nuff said.
How old were you when you lost your virginity? To a female (no penetration, per se): When I was 16.  My parents thought she was my best friend.  Lots of very fun sleepovers. LOL  To a male: By choice, one month shy of my 18th birthday.  Not by choice: 7 years old.  Yup, add me to the statistics. *insert eye roll here*
The last time you had sex, and with whom: About 4 hours ago, with the hubby, my much-envied body bouncer and a vibe!
What type of person are you into? People who are genuinely themselves, whatever that means for them.  I like people who truly embrace who they are and don’t try to change to meet some external dictate of what is good/right.  We all bow to external influences and dictates from time to time, and that’s ok - but don’t build your entire life and persona upon that sort of foundation.  It will crumble, and you end up taking a lot of people down with you.
What do you fantasize about? What’s your fetish? What turns you on? Denim Jeans.  There is something seriously hot about laying on the couch pinned under your lover, both wearing tight denim jeans, making out and doing the bump-and-grind.  Remember how turned on you got doing it in high school?  Why stop?!?!  Just because you’re now free to do other things doesn’t mean you shouldn’t continue to enjoy the old standbys.
Pubic hairstyle: Just call me Baldy-locks.
What do your nipples look like? Fairly large pinkish/brown aureoles with pencil-eraser sized nipples (when erect) - but my nipples are kind of cool because when they aren’t erect, they sort of look like a wide-based mountain with a rounded peak.  Nice little foothills that sort of spread out and tighten up when the nipples get erect.  I’m rather fond of them!
What was one of the hottest moments of your life? The first time I got to suck my (now) husband’s cock.  I sat on the edge of the bed while he pulled out his cock (he knew my reputation ROFL), and Oh.  My.  God.  I spent the next few hours just devouring him.  I have a major oral fixation, I can suck cock/eat pussy/make out for days.  Anyway, I think I came four or five times just from sucking him.
Any regrets? If I have any regrets it is that I waited so long to embrace my sexuality fully.  I wasted a few years letting other people influence the sexual choices I made, not only in refraining from sex/sexual activities because it was “wrong,” but in engaging in certain sexual activities because someone else wanted me to.  Embrace your own sexuality in whatever way is best for you - whether that be NOT having sex or having sex wherever/whenever/however you choose - just so long as it is entirely your choice!
Why do you think I chose you for YATBK? I know the truth - you’re buttering me up so I’ll loan you my body bouncer. Thanks for the opportunity - consider me sufficiently buttered. *grinning*

“Even now I can’t trust life. It did too many awful things to me as a kid.”
- Clara Bow

Clara Bow was a silent screen star/flapper who had a rough start. Her father raped her and her mentally ill prostitute mother tried to kill her with a knife. Clara dropped out of school when she was seven and got her film breakthrough after winning a Fame and Fortune contest.

She was called The It Girl after she starred in the movie It.

“It… that strange magnetism which attracts both sexes… entirely unself-conscious… full of self-confidence… indifferent to the effect… she is producing and uninfluenced by others.”

Or, It can just mean sex appeal. Rumors flew about the fiery redhead taking on football teams, torrid love affairs with men like Gary Cooper (she bragged that he was hung like a horse), abortions, wild parties, drinking. Her contract included a morality clause offering her a bonus of $500,000 for behaving like a lady and staying out of the newspapers, and for controlling her sexual exploits. By her late 20’s her film career was over.

Later in life she was diagnosed with schizophrenia and died old and forgotten, when really she should have died young like Rudolph Valentino and Jean Harlow. At least I think so.

A 30 yr old woman recently introduced to me a fetish called pageism. Pageism is when you want to be the page of an older woman. You want to serve her well…

TBK: What’s your sexual orientation?

Page: Lesbian asexual married to a man, whatever you’d like to call that.

TBK: What type of women are you attracted to?

Page: You know Helen Mirren? That type. 25-35 years older than me, soft-spoken, well-spoken, confident, intelligent, stylish in an understated way, well read, kind.

Basically, my first crush, which was on my English teacher (I’ll call her Mrs Shropshire) when I was fourteen. She’s the type of woman I wanted to be. Some people ask WWJD. I ask, “What would Mrs Shropshire do?”

TBK: Where did you first find the word “pageism,” which helped you put a name to your proclivity?

Page: Psychopathia Sexualis by Richard von Krafft-Ebing is (I believe) the first catalog of sexual deviancy. The first edition was released in 1886 and it was intended for doctors and psychologists and was therefore written in a very academic style. It went into re-print almost immediately and was a best-seller in its day (I don’t think it was only academic types doing the purchasing). In the book, he coins the term ’sadist’, as well as ‘masochist’, which is fitting, as PS has often been compared to Sade’s 120 Days of Sodom, a book that makes Two Girls One Cup look like a Betty Crocker advert.

He was also a proponent of gay rights in that he didn’t think all types of homosexuality were inherently wrong. He felt that some people were simply born gay and that they should be left alone by the law. The book is of interest to anyone curious about the evolution of the way psychology dealt with people who weren’t totally vanilla in their sexual desires. He was very much a product of his time, but also quite progressive.

A good deal of the later editions of the book are case studies, many written by the ’sufferers’ themselves who’d read the clinical descriptions in earlier editions and wanted to shed more light on their particular kink. One of the people who wrote to him called himself a ‘pageist’, which was a man who wished to be in the service of an older woman. The particulars in his case are a little different to mine but it’s close enough a light went on.

TBK: What is your first memory of wanting to serve a woman?

Page: Being fourteen and wanting to be of some use to Mrs Shropshire. I was always a big teacher’s pet, but that year I wanted nothing more than help her out. She became my ideal, though it took about ten years before I realised it. During that ten years I was disturbed by what I figured must be some kind of mother issues. Realising it was teacher issues was a huge relief. That’s when I began telling anyone who’d listen about pageism.

TBK: What sort of fantasies do you have about it? How do you want to “serve”?

Page: Being an amanuensis, which is a secretary. It comes from the Latin for ’slave at hand’. Typing, filing, that sort of thing. Before I was married, I pictured being a sort of live-in, paid companion who handled the paperwork of the house.

TBK: Do you imagine yourself dressed a certain way? Apron? Uniform?

Page: Just office garb. When I had long hair I figured a bun and glasses were de riguer. I was supposed to be the plain one, known to all as the devoted servant of my woman. Sort of meek and quiet, ready to snap to should any typing need done. Long skirts and Edwardian type blouses–long sleeves. The Juno character in the Small Favors porno comic is very much along the lines of what I picture. This is the Amazon link to the first collection.

TBK: Do you want to explore the fetish in real life, or is it something that you’re content to remain in your head?

Page: I think it would only work in real life if the other woman was into it, which I don’t think is highly probable. I doubt role-playing would work–it’d have to be a real-life working situation. All the bits and bobs that would have to line up make my head swim. So… I’m content to let it remain in my mind.

TBK: Tell me more about the women you have wanted to serve.

Page: Besides Mrs Shropshire there haven’t been any in real life. Helen Mirren in the atrocious Teaching Mrs Tingle was as close as I’ve seen in any form other than in my head. I cross that character with the one she played in Losing Chase or the Prime Suspect films and have a pretty good fantasy life.

I’ve only met one woman in real life that physically fit the criteria, which is vital to me, but she wasn’t my boss and I highly doubt she would have been into the whole idea. Not to mention that if she was my boss I wouldn’t want to risk trying to explain to her the deal. It’d have to be an organic thing if it were to happen.

TBK: Is this sexual to you, or does it fulfill something emotional?

Page: Doing what she wants in an outstanding way *is* the sex, which is what most people would find confusing, I think (if I were to try to talk a woman into being my mistress she would probably think I was interested in sleeping with her, for example).

That said, since the relationship is entirely in my head it is sexual at times–usually when she’s stressed out. In real life it just wouldn’t happen, as I’m never interested in sex. There’s a Nina Hartley video on RedTube that I love and I’m not a huge porn connoisseur, but it’s pretty pageist-tastic. When sex does happen in my mind it’s more about the power play between the two women involved. In real life I only want to hug or kiss the woman I like.

An ideal relationship of this type in real life would include very innocuous types of touching. And it would have nothing to do with her sexuality–I wouldn’t care if she was married or what-have-you. That would be better, actually, because then I wouldn’t have to worry about her wanting more from our relationship than I was willing to give. She can have sex with whoever she wants–I just want to do her filing.

TBK: I’m not so interested in this question, but my readers may be - how was your relationship with your mother growing up? Do you have any sisters?

Page: My relationship with my mom was okay–pretty normal, I think. It’s funny because when I notice women they’re usually technically old enough to be my mother, though my mom is close to 40 years older than I am, so my friends tend to kid me about my mother issues. Sorry, friends, it’s Mrs Shropshire Syndrome.

I have two much older sisters that I don’t have any contact with–they were moved out by the time I was a sentient being.

TBK: Do you like thinking of “Mrs. Shropshire” being grateful for your help? Strict? Demanding? Kind?

Page: Definitely grateful and kind. Exacting, but then quite pleased with how detail-oriented I am. I picture her as being known to all and sundry as the Dragon Lady or some such moniker but being quite nice to me. She’d treat me like a well-trained, well-loved pet. Possessive and protective of me (in my head–in reality I’d be running for the door).

TBK: What kind of reinforcement do you crave? Verbal praise? Pat on the head?

Page: Pat on the head! The very idea makes me swoon. Verbal praise is good, too. I have a secretarial type job and there’s one woman who’s physically close to Mrs Shropshire but personality-wise completely off. She thinks I’m great though and her praise means more to me than when it comes from other professors.

TBK: Does the idea of being tied up or used turn you on at all?

Page: Sometimes being spanked over her desk makes me feel warm inside but that’s about it. Needless to say, my DVD of Secretary has been watched a few times…

B Diddle - …………………….
Rev. Lion
Lokey
The Virgin
Tom
Manj
blueridgemariposa
Sapph - she is YATBK this week!
Chiavata
Sunday
Fallen Angel
Big Boy
Westley200 - story to be posted on Thursday!
Rockabilly Girrrl

Hey fellas, do you remember your first blowjob? With another guy? Here’s one reader’s sweet account, mmm it gets me so hot:

Well it happened when I was 13 and I was just figuring out how good it felt to have an orgasm. My friend Ray was always over at my house. We slept in the same bed all the time and thought nothing of it.

One night I woke up with a nice erection and wanted to do something about it. So I started to masturbate and I accidentally woke him up. Embarrassed, I hurriedly pulled up my boxers and tried to pretend that nothing happened.

To my surprise (and delight!) Ray told me that it was nothing to be ashamed of and if I wanted to he would help me get off. I really didn’t know what he meant by that but since we were best friends I trusted him so I went along with it.

He then preceded to go down on me. I was in shock when it first happened but at the same time I had never felt anything that good in my life. I came after a little more of him sucking my dick. He then came up out from under the sheets and asked me if I would return the favor.

I didn’t think anything of it and since it felt so wonderful on me I thought I should make him feel just as good. I loved the feeling of having his dick down my throat. I eventually made him cum inside my mouth. Ever since then I just love having things in my mouth and down my throat.

Now a days I have much more intense orgasms if I have something in my mouth. Whether it be a tit, fingers, a foot, or a toy. I really enjoy the feeling I get when I have something down my throat.

Ha ha, call Freud… it’s amazing how many of us explore the same sex in grade/middle school. I had LOTS of slumber parties like this.

Continued from last Sunday’s post (clearly I cut it off too soon and annoyed some folks):

Eventually, after a couple of years of this experimentation, there came a day when we were eleven where she asked about oral sex. By this time, we had gone through nearly all of her father’s porn magazines (there were about 1000) and had learned some interesting things. Our experimentation had also progressed from mere kissing to groping under the shirt and under the underwear. She had already developed breasts, and I was no stranger to rock hard erections.

We were somewhat familiar with each other’s anatomy. So, without hesitation, I went down on her first. I remember getting instantly turned on by her fluff of pubic hair. If I may paraphrase the great Bill Hicks, her pussy was like “a paper cut surrounded by a wisp of cotton candy.” The taste was sweet, pungent and very arousing.

I wasn’t able to get her off, but then again, I was only eleven. When I finished, she took my pubescent boy/manhood in her mouth, and after about four or five tugs and slurps, I unloaded in her mouth. She promptly spit it out and started laughing. Her laughter was infectious, and I began laughing as well, thus breaking the tension.

One day the following school year, while “making plans” in our secret bunker (my basement) she asked if I wanted to try sticking it in her. This was my big moment! Mom and dad were at work, and they trusted me and my brother to stay at home by ourselves. Little did they know what I was actually getting up to, and soon, in to.

I knew that it was going to be awesome, to use the parlance of the time. By this point, there was already talk on the school yard about sex, but I kept my mouth shut, knowing that I was already light years ahead of my classmates, and secretly laughing at all of the myths and fallacies that were being propagated by the uninitiated.

So, E and I began our play as usual by kissing, then fondling, then oral. She then laid back on a chair, spread her legs, and asked me to fuck her. I guided the head of my cock between the lips of her pussy, and without so much as a thought about what would happen next, thrust into her with all of my might.

In an instant, I knew things had gone horribly, horribly wrong. E let out a scream of pain, frantically told me to stop, and then stood up, pulled her pants on, and ran upstairs into the bathroom. I didn’t know what to do, but one thing seemed perfectly clear: I needed to finish myself off. I stroked my cock a few times, and before I knew it, I had made a mess all over the basement carpet.

Not knowing what else to do, I rubbed it into the shag to hide the evidence, buttoned up, and ran upstairs after her. She was in the bathroom crying, but I could tell that the worst was over. She came out and said she wasn’t feeling well and had to go home and then she left.

Subsequent to that day, E and I tried a few more times, and eventually it went like it was supposed to go. We fooled around throughout the rest of junior high, but by high school we had ceased and after graduation eventually lost touch with one another.

She recently came back into my life, though, and we still laugh about our wild youth and the day we lost our virginity to each other. We are now good friends again, but now she’s come out as a lesbian, thus ruining any chance we might have of finally making the sparks fly.

I look back on the fateful autumn day in 1988 with a fondness that isn’t shared for most other events in my life. I also look back on that say as the turning point spiritual castigation. On that day, I lost my faith in religion by casting off the stigma that came with sexual repression. I liked sex. I refused to feel shame for it. Subsequently, I grew suspicious of other dogmatic teachings by the church, and eventually, after going through the sacrament of confirmation, I renounced my association with organized religion.

So that fateful day in 1988 was not only the day that I lost my virginity, but in turn, my religion as well.

This video supposedly portrays a girl losing her virginity.

1. OK they need to take those clothes off PRONTO - fuck, it’s hurting my eyes.
2. Aww, her little virgin pussy is doing a little dance for us.
3. OK wtf is up with the two stoma shots?
4. His gold chain is awful.
5. BOING!!! HA HA
6.  Aww, she sucks cock like she doesn’t know what she’s doing, that’s kinda hot. And frustrating. You can TELL he wants to shove her face down on it.
7. Just a reminder while I’m thinking of it: men should not have bangs. And women should not bleach their hair.
8. I like how they’re using incredibly bad positions for her “first time.”
9. Why do I find all the awkwardness and grimacing so hot?
10. I just want him to SHOVE HER DOWN ON IT ooh the teasing is driving me crazy!
11. As I wait impatiently for her impalement, I snicker at her socks and the curtains.
12. Wiping up her virgin blood with her little white panties, nice touch!

September 19 is Talk Like a Pirate Day.

Find a celebration near you.

Here’s a good one in St. Louis - St. Louis Pirate Fest

Saturdays and Sundays, September 13th - 28th, 2008
Gates open 10am - 6pm each day

And yes, I realize I’m not talking like a pirate.

I just want to fuck like one.

Speaking of, I still need to watch that big fancy pirate porn…

I’m watching Six Feet Under with a friend:

Me: God I hate the sound of Nate and Brenda kissing. It gives me the willies!

Friend: What, you don’t like kissing?

Me: No no, just their sound - it’s so…smoochy and ech.

Friend: Oh I don’t know, I find moisture to be rather hot.

NOTE: I just found out this product is being discontinued! Nooo! So I have to post the review right this minute instead of waiting until next week, because by then, it may no longer be available. Better get yours today! Hopefully it will be reissued soon…

We all know how much I love my Hitachi Magic Wand. So much so that a few of my close friends have bought one in case I visit, the same way some people keep your favorite tea on hand. It isn’t the most portable toy, so it’s a very nice gesture on their part.

Well don’t ask me why, but I’ve never used the Hitachi G Spotter Attachment until now.

I have been missing out.

The attachment is a blue plastic thingy made out of Plasticol. Not sure what that is, but it’s nontoxic and is medical grade. If you turn it upside down, it can double as a dipper, complete with a handle. The accompanying brochure says: “It is seamless for comfort and cleanliness, and it is hollow for gentleness.” Here is what it looks like:

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That’s right - it looks like Gonzo from the Muppets. I told a couple people that, and they said, “Please tell me it has great big googly eyes.” I said, “No, but it gave ME great big googly eyes!”

Usually I use my wand through my clothes, since it’s powerful enough. But in order to use the attachment, I had to strip from the waist down.

My partner sat between my legs and showed me the wand with the attachment on. Ha, it looked pretty silly, good thing it was going to be hidden from view soon. I felt like he was my gynecologist. I started the session off cold, so we used a little lube and stuck the device in my pussy, with Gonzo’s nose pointing up towards my g-spot.

He looked at me for the cue. “Ready?” He switched on the vibe.

Imagine being electrocuted, but in a very good way. It was SO AWESOME to feel the power of the wand working its way through me, from the inside out.

It was just amazing, I was breathless, giggling. He gazed down at me in amazement, seeing my beautiful body plugged into this machine.

First I focused on having a clit orgasm. I lifted my shirt up so I could grope at my breasts as he manned the wand. He stuffed it in and held it steady and when I rocked with my first orgasm, I was screaming throatily. Sheer ecstasy.

Then I went for #2. It took a bit longer and was just as inspirational. He ran his free hand over my pale, smooth thighs, quaking hips, belly, breasts… if only everyone could feel this way!

Now I was adequately warmed up to go for a g-spot orgasm. He kept ramming it in too far - I think he vibrated an ovary loose. I told him to back up and aim it up - my g-spot is closer to my vaginal entrance.

He eagerly readjusted, and muttered, “This is so fucking hot!”

No shit! I felt like a goddess, but also felt like I was on the exam table of an alien ship. I was so open and exposed to him, it felt so intimate…

After a while I told him to pull the wand out and take over with his fingers. He rubbed my g-spot like that, and his big fingers felt good, but after a bit I took over with my own, and managed to relax enough to squirt just a little.

Ohh but there was so much more in there, I could tell! In the wand went again, and I got worked up enough to take it out and use my fingers again…this time I got more, made a small wet spot, smelled and licked my essence, god I love it.

But he said he wasn’t impressed! I think he was hoping I’d hit him in the face with it. I didn’t tell him this, but he was still new to me, and it was harder for me to really relax and let loose. When I can get to that point, I can make a good gush, though I don’t get any fountain action going - it’s more like a flood.

The experience was amazing (I know, I’ve used that word about five times in this post.) I’m sure I can squirt by just using the wand/attachment, give me time. I need more practice. Please!!!