Ask The Slut: How Do We Talk Dirty?
Filed under: Ask The Slut - August 26, 2008 @ 6:00 amI’m behind on my Ask The Slut questions, so I’m going to feature them all this week…
Dear Slut,
My boyfriend and I love talking dirty, but we seem to get stuck with the same old phrases, with me repeating the lines: “fuck me in my ass”, “please cum on my face”, “call me a slut” etc., and him: “God you have the tightest ass” ,”I love sticking my dick between your nice tits” and so on. Where does one go from here? How much dirtier can we get without entering into creepy territory?
Tongue tied
Dear Tongue,
Um, what’s wrong with creepy? And what is creepy anyway? For instance, is it creepy if, when your guy is blowing his load in your mouth, he growls, “SLUT….FUCKING SLUT”? Sounds like you are down with that.
You just need to be creative. Start adding new elements into your routine. Let your imagination and fantasies take over. How about a little role playing? Pretend he is a peasant seducing the Queen, or he’s a dirty cop who pulled you over. Or introduce an imaginary third. Tell him you wish your hot friend was sitting on his face as you ride his dick. Whisper what you would do with her to him…
If your partner is a good sport, the element of surprise can be great. For instance, call your partner by another name. I’m serious! If your partner knows you have a thing for Maggie Gyllenhaal, all of sudden while she’s blowing you start calling her Maggie - “Maggie you’re such a good little tease - it’s about time you started sucking dick. Keep that up and I’ll give you a spanking you’ll never forget. And what were you thinking when you did Monster House? GOD do your country a favor and show your tits more in movies!”
I also like being told that I’m a “good girl” during sex. I think it has to be at least slightly twisted in order to induce that delicious rush when things get taken up a notch. Hence the hotness of you asking him to fuck your ass. Now I’m totally imagining that going down…
We have a creative bunch who read this blog, so let me ask the group: What are some of your favorite lines to say during sex? Where do you take it? Do you prefer a few choice words, or dialog? What’s the strangest thing anyone has said to you during the throes of passion? (Whatever you do, don’t start quoting lines from porn. “Yeah baby, that’s right, fuck my pussy.”)
August 26th, 2008 at 8:07 am
You just had to use Maggie as your example huh? Now I can’t feel right in using her as mine. Thanks a lot TBK you’ve ruined my life! But at least I know you like Maggie
August 26th, 2008 at 8:09 am
Who DOESN’T like Maggie? I hear that some people even prefer her over that hot bro of hers. Of course I want to have a threesome with them.
August 26th, 2008 at 8:11 am
You are right on with this, we mix ours up, and that definitely keeps it from getting same-old, same-old.
In fantasies, if you’re nervous about saying “I want this…., because you’re not sure of reaction, trying playing the “What if” game and see where it leads. You might be surprised yourself, and not in creepy way!
August 26th, 2008 at 8:13 am
BTW, creepy is not always bad. Maggie can be my third anyday!
August 26th, 2008 at 10:40 am
Creepy is ” OH SHIT, I WANNA CUT YOUR TITS OFF AND EAT THEM ” then when i read that, i realize thats not even that creepy.
ultimately creepy is what you NEED ! ! !
it is the magic in the shadows we seek, hidden from the light, every awesome thing i’ve done in my life was creepy or scary before i experienced it. Once it’s not creepy to you, then you own it…..
I love saying to TBK, while she is sucking my dick, ” Good Girl, you are SUCH a GOOD girl….”
i don’t talk too much in sex, but TBK brought out those words in me cuz she is SOOOOO damn good. SHE worships cock, when her mouth is around my dick i feel as though i am GOD and she is a human trying to suck the almighty’s cock, so she can make it through the gates to be an angel (and you made it, my love).
Me poking her tonsils with my head, and all i can say is “GOD”, “GODDAMN” over and over again. so beautiful to have such a religious experience with such an Atheist.
ps- i would LOVE to see Maggie’s sex face when a 14 inch cock gets jammed into that pretty, tight, white pussy!
August 26th, 2008 at 10:47 am
My boy and I have found that roleplaying works the best for this because somehow you’re much more comfortable *saying* things when you are pretending to be someone else.
August 26th, 2008 at 11:43 am
I think I have a contender for strangest thing…
“Your body is like a dead gorilla corpse”
That’s me to a girlfriend post-sex. The weirdest part is that I meant it in a complimentary way. I won’t try to explain, as I don’t think I could.
August 26th, 2008 at 11:44 am
Yes, “dead” and “corpse” are redundant. That’s part of the *mystery*
August 26th, 2008 at 1:23 pm
Try having phone sex = when you have to talk the whole way through, talking dirty gets a whole lot easier because there is nothing else to occupy your mouth. It gets you thinking - esp if you are role playing while on the phone!
August 26th, 2008 at 3:18 pm
When I was poor and courting Bianca, my phone had been disconnected so one night I was calling her from a pay phone.
“*Rasp, *Rasp, *Rasp”
Bia: What is that?
Me: That is the sound of me licking your body all over.
Bia: Are you licking the receiver?
Me in a whisper: “Yes”
Bia: That’s disgusting.
*Cue Train Wreck
August 26th, 2008 at 3:34 pm
Rev. Lion - I am most religious during sex… but then again, I am a gooddess. I just realized I am a MOON goddess:
http://www.pantheon.org/articles/s/selene.html
“Selene, the moon goddess, is known for her countless love affairs. The most famous of her loves is the shepard Endymion. Other affairs of Selene’s include involvement with Zeus with whom she had three daughters, and Pan who gave her a herd of white oxen. Some sources report that the Nemean lion, which fell to the earth from the moon was the result of an affair of Zeus and Selene.,,”
August 26th, 2008 at 3:35 pm
Capn, dear god you are so lovable. No wonder Bianca married you, freaky public phone licker!!!
August 26th, 2008 at 4:00 pm
If I understand correctly, most moon goddesses are virgins. Diana and Artemis are Roman/Greek Goddess and they are Virgin Huntresses. “Like most moon deities, Selene plays a fairly large role in her pantheon. However, Selene was eventually largely supplanted by Artemis, and Luna by Diana.”
I see you more as Ishtar: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ishtar
“Ishtar was above all associated with sexuality: her cult involved sacred prostitution; her holy city Erech was called the “town of the sacred courtesans”; and she herself was the “courtesan of the gods”.” “We’ll just forget the next sentence about her love being cruel.”
But, BUT! To pick a name is to pigeonhole your Attribute. You should be able to pick and choose as the situation entails. Like the ocean, all women are in constant flux and changeable by the wind.”
I think you should just draw up on the power of the unnameable, Feminine Goddess Life Force instead of saying, “I take after Selene”
August 26th, 2008 at 4:12 pm
SOOOO true Capn, damn you’ve been stroking me ALL DAY. And blueridge/rapunzel, too…
:)
Ishtar, Aphrodite, Venus, Inanna, Isis, Parvati… yes, yes, yes…
August 26th, 2008 at 4:22 pm
August 26th, 2008 at 4:34 pm
I could have a threesome with you and Maggie, but then of course I would melt on the spot because the two of you together would probably be enough to ignite a a small sun, and then you wouldn’t be a moon goddess anymore… simply a star
August 26th, 2008 at 6:13 pm
I’m new here but I’ve been watching from the outside for a little while now. I don’t know what it is about you TBK, maybe it’s the way you just openly discuss everything, but all I know is that I get immensely turned on every time I visit the site. I’d love to be one of the lucky few on your “Fuck You” list. But only if you let my sexy fiance join in. She’s wanted to have a threesome for awhile now but she just doesn’t want to do it with someone she knows.
August 26th, 2008 at 6:56 pm
thats why you, TBK, are a goddess in and of yourself.
You are a new goddess………
August 26th, 2008 at 7:32 pm
I usually gravitate between inducing the good girl and bad girls fantasies during great sex…basically, call her a good girl and do “bad” things to her, like spanking, spunking, and pooper sex. It creates a great little fantasy and the juxtaposition is a mind fuck. Shift into bad girl mode when you’re ready to get really down and dirty.
August 26th, 2008 at 8:43 pm
TBK - once again, your photo illustrations for each post are SO perfect, so often. Kudos! I love this photo!
As a complete aside: I *must* tell you that your random Panty Parade Pics are SO appreciated! Sexy as fuck, and I LOVE the ones that are sheer enough to show your public hair through the fabric and let your hipbones peek out. Damn, woman. Thank you.
August 26th, 2008 at 11:41 pm
I always like to throw in a “Shut up, bitch! I’m not paying you to talk!” or hold my hand over the chicks mouth like I’m not interested in hearing anything she might say or moan. It’s kind of a control thing…you talk dirty when I tell you to talk dirty.
And the paying thing, depending on the girl, makes for some interesting body jerks as it sometimes surprises the fuck out of them.
August 26th, 2008 at 11:47 pm
Oh Lokey, that’s a great one. I also like “fuck toy,” “ungrateful whore,” and well gosh, anything that makes me feel cheap and used. But hey, I like “why do you have to be so beautiful?” as well…
August 31st, 2008 at 8:10 am
Talking dirty is a great way to explore each other’s inner pervert. Many people are inhibited and some just lack the ability with words. Sometimes you just have to feed them the lines you want to hear. Repetition can be a good thing in a Pavlovian kind of way. I know it was because you wanted to hear the strangest things people say, but the phrase you crossed out is one of my favorites to hear. It always puts a smile in my heart when I hear a girl say “FUCK that pussy” because just about EVERY woman will say it when it is going good. From the dirtiest slut to the the most demure, shy, and classy. The universality tickles me.