Sex Toy Box: The Stubby G
Filed under: Sex Toy Box - August 11, 2008 @ 6:00 amThe last time I used my plug-in Hitachi Wand, flames came out of the wall (stupid faulty electrical wiring) so I decided to switch to something with batteries for my next self-fuck fest. The Stubby G, or G-Swirl, is a snazzy little fatty. This one has hot packaging, so I have to show it off:
The packaging even has this cute little magnetic button clasp that really pleases me.
But will the vibe??
Well, Stubby-G makes a good first impression by including a packet of lube and batteries, NICE! It’s like he brought me flowers. He’s saying, “Honey, I really want you to feel good and I want to make it easy on you. These items of convenience will bring you that much faster to orgasmic ecstasy.”
So is it just me, or does Stubby G resemble a dog dick? And something made by Nickelodeon?
All right, here on out I’m going to call him G since the word stubby is not very sexy.
G is made of silicone which means he is odorless and non-porous. I HATE those toys that stink like rubber and harbor cooties! He will also enjoy a long life.
G’s yellow splash variable speed control dial is very easy to operate with one hand when he’s down between your legs. G also gives off a pleasant purring vibe sound when he’s put to work play.
I used the lube and worked him into my pussy and watched some Japanese porn (I’m STILL trying to figure that shit out!) Since G is new to me, it took me a while to get used to the new sensations. It wasn’t love at first insertion, but I’m confident I will warm up to this funny lookin’ fella. He said, “Honey, give me time, I’ll do you right.”
After a while I realized it wasn’t working for me shoved inside (that bulgy ridge wasn’t hitting my clit right) so I pulled him out and applied the tip to my clit. Ahhh, that felt very nice. He said, “See? What did I tell you? I know how to make you feel gooood.”
As soon as I started to climax, I plunged him back inside, which threw me for a loop and took me for a ride - I didn’t know if I was cumming or going. He said, “You want to be filled, don’t you, you hot little slut!”
All in all, it was a good first date. And yes, I am a crazy bitch for pretending my vibrator can talk. 
Proof that someone needs to fuck me already.
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August 11th, 2008 at 7:08 am
The packaging is awesome. The toy is freakin’ cute. I do believe I will need to invest in one of these soon.
August 11th, 2008 at 9:07 am
Mmmmm….NOW I know what I want for my birthday….(hint, hint, nudge, nudge, wink, wink) :)~
Oh, Rockabilly Boy…..
August 11th, 2008 at 11:38 am
thats a funny lookin little sex toy. the packaging is crazy lookin.
aaaaaawwwwwww, TBK needs some cock.
August 11th, 2008 at 12:05 pm
So typical! You let him talk sexy to you, but you don’t say so much as a word to him in return. You’re just too good for that, aren’t you, bitch? But hey, that’s what your friends are here for–to be your tool.
August 11th, 2008 at 12:51 pm
That does look intriguing….. No need for words…silence is Golden. Especially when it is used well. Shhhhhhhhhhh
August 11th, 2008 at 1:27 pm
Aww poor Bo, he wants TBK to use him. Too bad the dildo is nicer.
August 11th, 2008 at 1:41 pm
Funniest review I’ve read in months. This is the perfect review to send me off on my vacation.
-Heather
August 11th, 2008 at 2:00 pm
Bo, every time I see one of your comments I laugh, because without fail, each time I visualize an angry little gnome jumping up and down.
Oh and what’s the difference between a slut and a bitch?
A slut is someone who fucks everybody. A bitch is someone who fucks everybody except YOU.
August 11th, 2008 at 3:22 pm
Tomorrow I brew, today I bake,
and then the bitch’s child away I’ll take;
for little deems my royal dame
that Rumpelstiltzkin is my name!
August 11th, 2008 at 5:32 pm
Easy…
August 12th, 2008 at 4:43 am
The Nickelodeon “CatDog” model…batteries and green slime lube included.
August 24th, 2008 at 11:44 am
It’s the new Nick ant Night Vibrator of the Month Club! Talk to it all you want.