Daddy Dom
Filed under: Eros - August 1, 2008 @ 6:00 am
I really like Fetlife, the kink lifestyle site I joined a couple weeks ago. There are some great people on there, and I’ve learned a lot.
For instance, I found a name for my “condition.” I want a Daddy Dom.
My friend Vic wrote this essay on Daddy Doms, and wow did it hit home. I’ve been thinking about it ever since I read it:
I have been asked several times what a Daddy Dom is. First, I want everyone to know it has NOTHING to do with incest, and it isn’t ageplay or any fetish to do with children. I can only say what it means to me; others may have a different impression.
In my view, a Daddy Dom is the most tender of all Dominants. He loves His little one with an undying passion. He always has his submissive’s best interest in mind, even when it conflicts with his personal desires. That doesn’t mean that he gives into her every whim. There can be a huge difference in her desires and her real needs. He has to be able to make that sacrifice for her if need be. And yes, at times he does punish her. This usually hurts him just as much if not more than her, but he will always do what’s best for her.
He helps her set and reach her goals in life, not just in the lifestyle. He will help her improve herself to be the best she can be, not for HIM but for her ! He’s not just looking to make her a better submissive, but a better person in general.
He becomes many things in her life, a mentor, a teacher, a protector, a guide, AND… a lover! He offers her what she needs most of all, unconditional love and acceptance. He is consistent in his actions so that she knows what to expect from him. She knows she can depend on him!
He wants nothing more than to pull her close and protect her from the cruel world. But knowing all along that he can’t! SO … it is up to him to prepare her for whatever life may throw her way and be there to comfort her when things go wrong. Knowing she will run to him when she becomes overwhelmed or frightened. The Daddy Dom will listens to all her fears and concerns, knowing no matter how silly they may sound, to her they are real and he will help her confront them. He slays her dragons; he is her “Knight in Shining Armor”.
The Daddy Dom hears all her dreams, desires and all the dirty little secrets, and smiles because she is bold enough and loves him enough to open herself up so totally to him. He kisses her face and holds her close letting her know she is loved no matter what. She is His little one, and he loves her unconditionally.
There is nothing more satisfying to him than to see her succeed, to watch as she grows as a person. He revels in her daily accomplishments almost as much as she does herself.
He will cuddle her and show her the tenderness she craves when she needs it., when she feels unsure of herself he will whisper encouraging words for her. When she feels ugly he will reassure her how beautiful she is to him … when she is scared he will be her safety net. She is his pride and joy … his main comfort in life … his reason for living. His pride in her shows in the tender loving way he cares for her. Even though she is all woman, she is his little one and he is her Daddy! Just remember, he may be a Daddy, but he is still a Dom!
August 1st, 2008 at 7:52 am
Interesting. I had never thought about what kind of Dom I was but I am definitely a Daddy Dom. And, no, I am not saying that because it would make me the remedy to your “condition.” This description fits me perfectly. It’s great to see that you are learning things on this new site and still growing. Keep sharing.
August 1st, 2008 at 8:20 am
I will be your father figure
Put your tiny hand in mine
I will be your preacher teacher
Anything you have in mind
I will be your father figure
I have had enough of crime
So I am gonna love you
till the end of time
I will be your father
I will be your preacher
I’ll be your daddy
I will be the one who loves you
till the end of time
August 1st, 2008 at 8:41 am
that’s ME!!!!!
i take care of my little sluts…….
August 1st, 2008 at 8:48 am
We’ll just see about that…
August 1st, 2008 at 9:20 am
Mmmmmm, Daddy Dom.
I want a Daddy. One who will spank me and then kiss my reddened flesh to make it all better.
Off to join Fetlife…
August 1st, 2008 at 9:50 am
Hmmm. Sounds familiar.
August 1st, 2008 at 10:02 am
I’m new to the fetish thing. I’m learning that I have a few that mirror this one. Like the movie Secretary, I identified with that movie SO much. Like they made that movie for people like me to realize that we aren’t alone. I LOVED that movie. What kind of fetish would that fall into?
August 1st, 2008 at 11:02 am
Nice Lyric George.
August 1st, 2008 at 11:25 am
Ah, Secretary! What a movie. I wonder, though, which parts of the movie you identified with? There were several fetishes in it from cutting to spanking. A lot of it was about pain helping mask personal problems which is not necessarily a healthy thing depending on who you are. But, I’ll let TBK fully answer this one though because I am not the professional slut here.
August 1st, 2008 at 11:32 am
Secretary was about her living the submissive slave role 24/7. You could tell they were both discovering these parts of themselves as the movie unfolded, he was really uncomfortable with it at first and made mistakes.
I love how she would do bratty things just so she could get punished, was such a fun game. And made them both FEEL.
Another movie to add to Movie Night! Here is a sample to get you hot:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RVXm_OyOnEQ
August 1st, 2008 at 11:43 am
The part in the Secretary that I identified with was the fact that they both had sides of themselves that they were ashamed of but through each other learned to accept and love themselves. Corny, I know. But I LOVED how she would push his buttons, “I DARE you to try something” like the coachroach on the bed or the wedding dress and her at the desk! I fucking LOVED that scene! I feel like she had control of the relationship through those actions even though she was being punished for them. I saw the give and take and I liked it. I’m not a cutter per se, but I do self abuse myself in order to either stop hurting or to feel something. More of a mental thing, but like what you said masking personal issues that I either don’t want to deal with or I’m not ready to deal with or don’t know how to deal with. TMI… sorry.
August 1st, 2008 at 3:00 pm
Daddy Dom doesn’t seem like much of a fetish to me. In my experience, this is what *every* woman wants, and any man who truly loves women naturally wants to be this for her.
On second thought, maybe it’s a “fetish” because it’s so idealized. Real life tends to be messier.
August 1st, 2008 at 7:05 pm
WOW. That would be my Dom -swoons-
August 1st, 2008 at 7:33 pm
This is like the perfect description of a Biblical wife.
You would fit in great over at http://www.ladiesagainstfeminism.com.
August 1st, 2008 at 9:01 pm
I *adore* The Secretary. Hubby and I watched it again the other night. I loved how Mr. Grey and Lee just fit so well together. They were a mess apart but clicked as a couple. A very sexy love story.
August 1st, 2008 at 10:24 pm
I am very honored by the compliments that have been directed toward me and I am especially honored that those words have helped someone!
August 24th, 2008 at 10:03 am
The secretary is a fantastic movie. Two of my favorite actors.
The Daddy Dom sounds nice, but do they make a Mommy Dom?
August 24th, 2008 at 10:05 am
I’m sure you can find Doms who are of the Mommy persuasion…