The Beautiful Kind

A guy on okcupid just dropped me a line yesterday asking if I had any fun Labor Day weekend plans. I told him:

Um, yeah, I had a hot and interesting date last night with someone on my Fuck You list (to be blogged later), just got off three times using my new toy (reviewing Tuesday), about to go to an afternoon bar-b-que date, then a wild party tonight starring Rev. Lion , ending at 4:20AM, then fucking The Virgin tomorrow night!!! Monday night dinner plans with Capn Marrrk and his lovely Bianca, dessert at their house…

Those are all the details I know so far. I will make sure and update you all accordingly. And of course if there are any opportunities to take it up a notch, I will do it. Just for you. I am the Angel of Kink, after all… xoxo

Truck stop erotica. Guest post by YATBK Sunday. By the way, this has a soundtrack - Sailor by I Am X - do you know it?

I have always had an affinity for rest areas. I find them to be charming structures that physically represent escapism to me…

Having to pee and happening upon the newest rest area in Nebraska, I pull my car sensuously, gracefully into a spot right in front. I dash in to the fresh waiting area, foyer sparkling and smelling kissed with new paint, and head for the restroom.

There is a man at the vending machine and I nod my hellos and keep going for a short time… until I notice that his gaze has locked where mine once was.

Forced to slow down simply by the steadfastedness of his gaze I give him the once over. He’s not what I would call “my type” but I’ve gone through most of my life not really having a definition for that anyway.  His eyes lock again on mine and I stop for a moment.

The trucker continues to look at me but his look softens just a touch… just enough so I’d know he isn’t out to rape and kill, just thrill and leave. And that’s enough for me. That would be perfect for me.

I want to be thrilled.

I don’t want chains. I don’t want to be seduced and fall in love, I just want to be fucked roughly and left to go on my way. This beefy stranger in Levis knows that, he gets it.

He senses it across the lobby as though my pheromones are radiating a spotlight in the darkness in much the same way a good set of headlights will cast a not-quite-illuminating glow upon the passing hillside just beyond a traveling car.

It’s strangely quiet and empty given the number of cars in the lot but that just adds to the mystery of The Rest Area at large. I relieve my bladder.

I turn to walk out and find an obstacle, a husky, capped, flannel-clad man in front of me as I try to open the brushed steel door. His presence isn’t surprising aside from the fact that he slipped in without making a sound and I hadn’t expected to be following through with him here in a ladies restroom. His general disregard for “rules” trips my trigger a bit more.

He’s not pushy, but he is _very_ present. His very mass stops me, his very presence… He’s soft and giving and not at all threatening but he’s big and strong and solid. There is something in his eyes that echoes my hunger, the very reason I left home to pursue time alone on the road and he is good enough.

He’s present, and he’s good enough.

Not bad looking but not the kind of guy I would normally go out of my way to seduce or garner the attention of and yet here he is, in my face, slowly closing the door behind him and  I don’t stop him. I’ve been fantasizing this whole trip and here he is to take care of me, so how can I say no?  The door closes and I let my inhibitions, the last of them on this trip, slip away with the auto-flush.

My trucker gentleman nods at me in a road language I understand - I am not a trucker but I travel and there is a degree of knowledge one picks up from simply being on the road and getting in tune with it.

The temptation to feel threatened is there but it is just a tickle, just an emotional egging-on that adds to my lust. We locked eyes, if only momentarily, and that was the rule in place here. I made eye contact and acknowledged him, and now he was in my stall.

I let him close the door behind him and slip the flimsy slide lock into place. He comes at me, not aggressively but full of intention. Intention is one of my weak spots. I can forgive a whole lot if the intention is right.

He takes my face in his rough hands and his callouses somehow line up magically with pressure points in my face and I come alive at his touch. Maybe it’s the mystery as much as the rough skin grasping my cheeks, but this degree of sensuality and arousal needn’t be questioned.

His lips roughly meet mine. There’s no fumbling; there is no romance here and by extension no waiting for “right moment to insert tongue”.  Raw animal attraction means the tongues just do.  They fight and wrestle and one eventually announces dominance over the other but who cares?  In a tongue battle there are no losers.

He pulls away briefly, looking to my eyes for admission to the next stage and I grant it to him without meeting his gaze.

Manly hands on my hips, on the zipper of my jeans, on the seam of my sweater, our conjoined breath coming at a much faster rate, faster than anyone walking by should expect and we don’t care. He finds the magic spot in all my clothing and whisks it away in one smooth motion showing surprising deftness from a man of his bulk.

He turns me, pushing me almost violently against the inside of the stall door, pants quickly dropping to his ankles and stiffened cock doing everything his GPS couldn’t. Honed in on my wet pussy, I let it do the driving.

Giving way to the weight of his body, the smell of road-weary sweat, the loneliness and hunger in his eyes I turn my body slightly so I can lean back against that brushed-steel wall and find some degree of comfort knowing the pleasure awaiting me.

There he is, his unfamiliar penis pressing against me now with menace and determination.  I’m not about to stop. Lifting my left leg to rest upon the toilet paper dispenser and my right over the sanitary napkin disposal bin I resolve myself not to be deterred by our confined space. I’m ready and clearly he is, too. I hoist my entire body up two inches by grabbing hold of the door overhead and hefting, grunt and all, and I hang spread-eagled in front of this stranger.

He slows but only for a second. He can sense the degree to which I have utterly exposed myself and he takes it in but only briefly. Planting both his hands on my hips, he finds his center and knowing there is no resistance on my part he thrusts - fully into me against that bathroom door. His lips meet mine again and we melt, momentarily. This isn’t meant to be permanent.

The full parking lot is beginning to show its numbers, evidenced by the hushed murmurs and outspoken wonderings coming from outside this stall. There is a full inch of visibility on either side of the door against which we’re fucking now and eyes are peering in and voices are growing louder. Somehow the idea of being overheard - this aural stimulation - is only adding to our heat and our pace doesn’t slow.

My clit throbs in anticipation of either being caught or getting off and at this point, with my hormones in charge, I couldn’t care less which comes first. He seems oblivious to any external life whatsoever and I’m flattered by that.

The voices ebb. This burly hunk of an anonymous truck driver starts to tremble a little from holding my weight in the air as my own arms begin to shake.  There is a pinched sense of time - suddenly everything slows and subdues and comes back into focus.  He comes with tremendous force - his hips pumping against mine and pumping mine against the door.

And then everything is still.

The other day white boy Lokey (YATBK next week!!) posted this comment on the blog:

I just discovered a new fantasy: I want to fuck a black chick and have her act like a slave doing her southern masters bidding.

I dropped him a line letting him know the comment went over well (even Goddess Glory was conjured!) and Lokey replied:

Fuck! I thought I’d catch all kinds of shit over that comment. Sounds racist, but it comes from years of living as a white man in the south. Southern whites are stereotypically racist in nature and I get sooooo sick of that shit. My ancestors were poor farm hands…they didn’t own slaves. It’d be nice to get some of that aggression out of my system by playing the role of slave owner and whipping my lil black slave slut into orgasmic submission.

It’s funny, but The Beautiful Kind has turned into a safe haven for perverts. I feel like you can talk about ANYTHING on here and people will accept you.

I can’t get over all the unconditional positive regard. Such a sweet community of open-minded folks, makes my heart swell with pride.

And man, am I updating my fetish checklist weekly.

This, dear readers, is the most disturbing porn clip I have ever seen. More disturbing than the Smurf porn. I’m not even amused. I’m kindof pissed off, actually.

1. Who the fuck thought of this?
2. Does someone really masturbate to this?
3. The lack of sound is so eerie.
4. The lame pussy eating is so eerie.
5. Why is the pussy licker dressed all old-fashioned?
6. Why is the setting a BED AND BREAKFAST??
7. E.T.’s empty facial expression and wavering head = so wack. Not to mention her rotting finger. Her body resembles that of an ancient old mummy crone…

The person who sent me this porn clip should be flogged. You know who you are.

“i’d eat my load out of your ass…just sayin’….”

- A new suitor, after he told me he wished he could eat his cum out of my pussy and I said, “Too bad I’m not on the pill!”

So. Should I ask to see his “I’m HIV Neg” card and go for it??

Dear Slut,
I have virtually no gag reflex (one time, my doctor, while swabbing my throat for bacteria,  grew extremely excited because I was apparently some sort of anomaly in this area.) I don’t mind utilizing this while giving head, and in fact I do it frequently.

My question is this: why, in pornos, do guys get so thrilled at the gurgling sounds their dicks causes a girl to make? Do they really like this? Even though I can manage a cock fucking the hell out my throat and not make a noise, should I fake it?
- Don’t bother with the spoon

Dear Spoonless,
A lot of guys get off on the gross gagging noises chicks make because it is a sign that their dick is so monstrous, she is choking on it. Also, it’s a dirty sound, and dirty = hot.

However, this is a highly subjective preference. Some guys find the sound a turn off. You should NOT fake gagging noises, that is just silly.

But, lucky you, ALL guys find what you just described hot (being able to deepthroat like a champ, to the point of impressing medical professionals).

So yeah readers, do you find gagging hot or not? And we covered dirty talk earlier in the week - what about sound effects? What sound effects do you dig during sex? Slurping? Moaning? Growling? Hyperventilating? Bed squeaking?

As for me, I like to keep it primal, and scream whenever I get the chance. And I love me some growling GRRRRRR!

(PS: Sorry, JustSomeDude - I could not for the life of me find a suitable pic to go along with this post.)

I showed this link to my boss.

Go ahead, click it. It’s a medical journal. I know, I know, you have to assume that ANY link I share with you is NSFW, but this one is practically WebMD.

It’s an errant NIPPLE.

My boss’s response: Is this for real?

Me: My friend in med school sent it to me.

My boss: Holy shit …  foot boobs

I’m thinking it’s for real. And I have to throw this out there - are nipples just as hot when they are in places other than fatty chest tissue? Like what about third nipples? Or a nipple on the arm? Or the forehead? And why is a nipple hot, but a boil is not?

Dear Slut,
I’m a sociable, proud geek, but available geek women tend to be scarce, much less ones I’m interested in and who’d be interested in me (an ex used to repeatedly refer to me as a bear). Despite being in my early 30s, my previous sex experience is limited to a pre-op m2f trannie, and a lesbian. I have, to put it mildly, lived an odd life, and my only regrets about it have been the times where I was a wuss and held back.

The problem I’m facing now is that the lady I’ve got an eye on is probably the most outwardly normal woman I’ve been attracted to. Yes, I realize that if I hit it off with her, it’s a matter of time before she shows me her fetishes, too, but I’m in the weird spot of having fetishes that are incredibly mild to most of my friends, yet difficult to explain to someone new:

• I’m bisexual;
•  an exhibitionist;
• am easily attracted to black women;
• and I like reading incest and mind control stories.

I get, too, that odds are, most women would be able to handle all of this, so long as I remain within whatever rules of the relationship that we have. The problem is, however, that three of these are likely to be an active concern: my bisexual exploration has consisted of going down on the trannie gf once, and I’d like to do more.

The woman I’m currently considering is white, and will almost certainly notice before I tell her (it’s been noticed by total strangers that a half-naked white hottie can walk by me and I’d not even glance, but a black woman in a parka on a rainy day gets my head turning); and my deep, dark secret is that when I was going through the early stages of puberty, my sexual experimentation was with my little sister.

While I don’t know this woman very well, we’ve got similar interests outside the bedroom, and she mentioned in passing that she’s looking for a boyfriend, and as I am no longer involved in a relationship, I’d like to ask her out, but I don’t want to scare her off. I don’t want her to get settled in before finding out all the “nasty” stuff that turns me on, and feel misled.  As I’m primarily a personality slut (geek girls are the ultimate), it’s exceptionally rare that I’m even interested in someone.
- Feeling Like a Tight Ass on a Tight Rope

Dear Tight Ass Chocolate Lover,
Your sexual history and fetishes are pretty much the reason why I published this letter. Sounds like you and I would get along famously.

I don’t see any way around it - you just need to be open and honest. Ideally you want a girlfriend who will point out a sexy black woman and nod your way with a gleam in her eye. It’s SOOO much more fun when it can be something personal that you share together. Reminds me of the time my Jewish girlfriend discovered her man’s huge Asian porn stash. At first she was troubled, but now she just finds it endearing.

So how do you approach it? I say early on. Ask her out, see if you guys hit it off for three or so dates, then start discussing where you see the relationship going. To broach the pervert business, take baby steps. Start off by joking about it. Or write it in an email. Or both of you can fill out my fetish checklist and then play show and tell. If your romantic interest is smart and geeky, that means she is curious and open to learning new things. Heck, do you think you could show her this blog? I know LOADS of guys who use my blog as a litmus test with potential dates.

OR wouldn’t it be funny if you show her the necro interview from the other day, and say, “TBK interviewed me here, what do you think?” And then after she freaks and locks herself in her room, you can tell her, “Just kidding! I’m not really into severed heads. Actually, I find black women exceptional beautiful and enjoy reading family-style erotica.” She will be SO relieved.

In social psychology, this is called the “Door in the face technique” - a two-step compliance technique in which, after having a large request refused, the influencer counteroffers with a much smaller request.

And yes, the wise social psychology professor who taught me that also once told me: “It’s better to regret the things you have done than the things you haven’t done.” These are great words to live by if you are presented with an opportunity to skinny dip with a hot chick or titty fuck with your friend’s cougar mom, but not so great when it comes to, say, murder.

So hey, I can’t wait to find out what her fetishes are! Do keep us posted.

I posted this on my About page a couple weeks ago, but I’m announcing my new sex therapy/consulting business here. And I’m going to brag shamelessly.

I’m amazed at how many people’s lives I’ve changed by showing them all the possibilities they never even considered.

Take Beau and Belle. They were both in sexually unfulfilling monogamous relationships for years, and then I came along and taught them the TBK way. They didn’t even KNOW they were perverts before they met me!

We all are, you know.

Now they are both off finding their own way, dating amazing people and spreading the passion and mindset I taught them, making fantasies come true at every turn. What’s more, I’ve helped B Diddle cultivate his inner beast (although in his case, I’m a little afraid I’ve created a monster, more on that later). And I’ve encouraged Rev. Lion to get his freak on. And I’m going to change The Virgin’s life course for the better…It’s so exciting. The list goes on and on.

So yeah, now I’m ready to offer this magic to you. Email me at love [at] thebeautifulkind [dot] com for more info.

Alias: Joy Joy the Play Toy
Age: 25 (today)
Relationship status: Married swinger, but considering polyamory
Sexual orientation: Bisexual
Favorite physical feature on yourself: Lips, my husband is yelling the answer from the background saying I have the most amazing DSLs.
Tattoos/piercings: Three piercings in each ear at bottom, and one left top earring. I just got my first tattoo of a Raven with the sunlight shining behind the wing, I am obsessed with Ravens, they are a spiritual symbol of good and evil in many religions. I want to get a Sleeve and a Lotus with my daughters name since it is a symbol for awakening to the spiritual reality of life.
Beauty tip: Play with your boobs everyday to make them happy.
Charity you support: The Childrens Hospital, SaveDarfur, and I am looking into supporting Equine Assisted Therapy.
If you could take a class for fun right now, what would you take? I am an aspiring photographer and I would like to take some more classes so that I can begin my own business. I would love to take sexual pictures of men and women, so I need a model, Beautiful, are you interested?
What do you want to learn/add to what you already know? I would love to go to medical school for a nursing degree, I have deep hopes of joining the Red Cross after my daughter begins college to help in the urgent needs in other countries with starvation, AIDS, and genocide.
Did you have an imaginary friend growing up? No, but my best friend and I thought we could see ghosts and would talk to them, does that count?
What is one of the bravest things you have ever done? Let go of the past, forgive others, and forgive myself, to become more than I was.
Special skill/talent, what are you really good at? (non-sexual): This was my hardest question, I truly don’t know, I am still finding new things about myself every day. I am at a point in my life where I lost knowing everything I was and have now become a complete stranger to myself, so I have to rediscover who I am.
Special skill/talent, what are you really good at? (sexual): Blowjobs I love to swallow, I don’t deep throat, don’t have to I’m just that good.
How old were you when you lost your virginity? 17 with my 16 year old boyfriend, later husband.
The last time you had sex, and with whom: Birthday sex, today, my turn to get spoiled!!! Not that I don’t everytime, ha ha.
What type of person are you into? Strong manly men, no sissy boys or mama boys, I want to know that they can pin me down and rape me if I try to fight them. I love breasts on a woman, I could worship her all day, women are so naturally sexy, I recently have gotten into the darker women, punk. I love salt and pepper hair, it makes me go crazy!
What do you fantasize about? What’s your fetish? What turns you on? I fantasize about being with a woman one on one, I think about what it would be like to be a guy fucking her, her riding my cock, and the feeling of cumming inside of her. I love watching rough sex porn, I love older men, and go crazy over a man in uniform, I just want them to handcuff me and beat me with their baton. One of my biggest fantasies is about my best friend of 13+ years, we grew up together and I always wanted her, about 3 years ago I found out that that whole time she wanted me, but because of our families and religion if we had been together we would have never seen each other again, we still haven’t had the chance to be together
Pubic hairstyle: Shaved or trimmed.
What do your nipples look like? Oh god, I hate my nipples they are too big for my taste, but when they get attention they get perky, small and rock hard.
What was one of the hottest moments of your life? Wow, that is hard, hottest would be the night my husband and I began to fuck so hard and he caught the right spot and g-spot at the same time and I came one orgasm on top of another and nearly passed out with the ecstasy. Otherwise, fucking in the river on a camping trip and a group of Boy Scouts walking in on us, god I felt naughty. I truly felt sexy the first time we went to the strip club and I was pulled onto stage with the dancers (one of which was in a devils outfit, nice!), stripped me, they pulled my husband up, stripped him, and all three of us danced on him touching his body everywhere and they touched mine. We later went home and fucked all night saying things about the strippers which was so intensely hot.
Any regrets? Not trusting the only person that has ever truly loved me, but I have come to terms with that for the most and now go through my life without regrets.
Why do you think I chose you for YATBK? Because you somehow knew that my husband would think it is hot as hell that I am a YATBK and I would have amazing sex for it! Thanks Beautiful!

B Diddle - Closer…
Rev. Lion - STILL haven’t had a chance to reconnect!
Lokey - He might be coming in town next month…
The Virgin - We’re rendezvousing this weekend! He WILL be the next one!
Tom - Soon, my dear…
Manj
blueridgemariposa - Oh, the things you have in store for me…
Sapph
Chiavata
Sunday - This Sunday I’ll be posting some hot erotica written by her…
Fallen Angel - She told me she is “quivering with anticipation.” I am, too…we just need to quiver together…
Big Boy

OH and by the way. For anyone who is set to get with me, a word to the wise: My tits require TLC. Once I’m all fired up, I don’t mind if you’re rough with them, but when first starting out, treat them like fragile tea cups.

Am I weird on this? Do most women like their tits grabbed and groped and sucked hard right off the bat? Maybe it’s cuz I was a stripper and got manhandled so damn much. I didn’t like my breasts touched AT ALL for two years after that. Poor me.

I’m behind on my Ask The Slut questions, so I’m going to feature them all this week…

Dear Slut,
My boyfriend and I love talking dirty, but we seem to get stuck with the same old phrases, with me repeating the lines: “fuck me in my ass”, “please cum on my face”, “call me a slut” etc., and him: “God you have the tightest ass” ,”I love sticking my dick between your nice tits” and so on. Where does one go from here? How much dirtier can we get without entering into creepy territory?
Tongue tied

Dear Tongue,
Um, what’s wrong with creepy? And what is creepy anyway? For instance, is it creepy if, when your guy is blowing his load in your mouth, he growls, “SLUT….FUCKING SLUT”? Sounds like you are down with that.

You just need to be creative. Start adding new elements into your routine. Let your imagination and fantasies take over. How about a little role playing? Pretend he is a peasant seducing the Queen, or he’s a dirty cop who pulled you over. Or introduce an imaginary third. Tell him you wish your hot friend was sitting on his face as you ride his dick. Whisper what you would do with her to him…

If your partner is a good sport, the element of surprise can be great. For instance, call your partner by another name. I’m serious! If your partner knows you have a thing for Maggie Gyllenhaal, all of sudden while she’s blowing you start calling her Maggie - “Maggie you’re such a good little tease - it’s about time you started sucking dick. Keep that up and I’ll give you a spanking you’ll never forget. And what were you thinking when you did Monster House? GOD do your country a favor and show your tits more in movies!”

I also like being told that I’m a “good girl” during sex. I think it has to be at least slightly twisted in order to induce that delicious rush when things get taken up a notch. Hence the hotness of you asking him to fuck your ass. Now I’m totally imagining that going down…

We have a creative bunch who read this blog, so let me ask the group: What are some of your favorite lines to say during sex? Where do you take it? Do you prefer a few choice words, or dialog? What’s the strangest thing anyone has said to you during the throes of passion? (Whatever you do, don’t start quoting lines from porn. “Yeah baby, that’s right, fuck my pussy.”)

When I first saw this vibe, I was skeptical. It looked like the kind of vibe that makes love to you, and I like getting fucked. I also don’t like how so many vibes tack on the word “G-spot” in order to generate more sales, but in reality they don’t do a thing for the g-spot, and that just pisses me off.

Turns out the Sunflower G-Spot IS the kind of vibe that makes love to you, and you know what? I LIKED IT. Vibe Review talks about how it “it takes you through a valley of pleasure and sexual grace.” I read that and felt like ripping a romance novel in half, but omg it DID!!! After using it, I felt like I was on the edge of the misty sea, the wind playing with my long, flowing white dress and my beautiful, blond wavy hair, my emerald eyes narrowed in concentration as I searched the horizon for my lost lover…

All right, back to reality. Let’s talk basics here. The Sunflower was designed by a woman and is a Doc Johnson product. It’s one of those toys that is a cat hair magnet, so I had to use it in a hermetically sealed room. It’s phthalate-free, which means it won’t turn your pussy into a toxic chemical dumping ground. It’s WATERPROOF. It’s easy to figure out how to add batteries (2 AA) - you just unscrew the base, no secret code needed. But make sure and close cap tightly so the batteries can make the proper connection. It offers a graduate speed and the buzzing sound is pleasant.

Another thing that’s pleasant is its smell. When I first took it out of the box, it smelled fruity, but not obnoxious cloying Bath and Body Shop pre-teen fruity. “It smells like Laffy Taffy!” Belle commented. A few weeks later it still had a very slight and pleasant aroma to it, which I find endearing.

The sunflowers are decorative only - they didn’t act like sensation studs or anything. It’s super flexible, so you can work it the way you want it.

I haven’t ejaculated in a long time, so I decided to make that my goal. I went pee first, then laid on the bed. Then I thought better of it and got down on the hardwood floor instead - easier cleanup. I turned it on low and played it along my vulva for a bit, then took it up to medium and took the curved tip and worked it between my pussy lips. I was already a little wet, but not super aroused, so it went in a little tight. I kept working it in and out, further and further in, and got wetter.

Then I shoved it in, pushed up, easily flicked it to high, and then focused on… me.  I didn’t tense up and think about super dirty things the way I usually do. Instead I relaxed and felt all yoga and feminine, and after just a few minutes, not long at all, it just washed over me. I felt this urge, this sensation that my core was melting down, and liquid flowed out of me. Not gushed, not squirted, but more like an ice cube melting on high speed. It felt so calming, like sweet release, no crazy shaking.

I moved my wet ass out of the way and tasted what came out of me, which looked on the floor like two ice cubes worth of fluid. Oh my god, it tasted SOO good! I am so delighted that something that wonderful comes out of my little sex pot. It’s light and salty, flowery, sweet, grass, organic. Seriously, it’s goddess nectar.

I really, really want to use this toy with a sexy bohunk MAN, someone who will watch attentively and add his energy, and lick my vibrating clit and lap up all the ambrosia as it flows out. I want him to moan with pleasure, and then kiss me afterwards, his lips wet and sweet.

So yeah, the G-spot Sunflower IS all that. I love it. Namaste.

** VIBE THE VOTE: Special discount until Election Day: Click this link to receive 10% off your purchase at Vibe Review.**

The last poem in the haunting series… next week: guest erotica from YATBK Sunday…

Moondancer

A full moon’s whisper
Beckons,
Beckons
Once again
And reaches out
To grasp and pull
Each molecule
Of pulsing blood,
A silent, steady call
Heard only by
A listening heart
Opened and attuned
To ancient, secret words.

A nameless beauty
Dances,
Dances
As a mist
Of fluid motion,
Subtle sways,
And endless curves
Beneath the moon,
Bathing in the glow
And swirling
In an eddy
Of the mystic pool
Of shining silver light.

A constellation
Twinkles,
Twinkles
In the air
Around her
Like a spell,
A spirit form
She has called forth
To play a tune
With beating wings
Now singing
In the breeze
Evoked and stirred
By her twirling form.

A crowd of creatures
Scurries,
Scurries
To the edge
Of this small field
Within the woods
Well trodden
By her feet,
Their shining eyes
Reflecting as they watch
Till joining in
They circle round and dance
With soft and padded steps.

This nameless beauty
Dances,
Dances
In the crowd
Till dawn awakes
And paints the sky
With fiery gilded hues.
Her heavy heart
Ceases and she drops,
A crumpled mound
Of weeping, weary flesh
Encircled by the stars
That fall upon the grass.

And there she lays and weeps,
And there her heart seeks sleep,
But still her Mother Moon
Is calling for a dance,
And still her flesh is strong
And still she knows the steps,
So soon she stirs and stands,
And sways into the dance.

But he’s got a cock you can sit on!

I’ll be honest with you. I masturbated to this clip of a hot chick fucking a legless dude.

1. Go ahead, you can stare. His stumps look like pigs in a blanket.
2. The gregorian chant music makes it especially creepy/compelling…
3. The part that sent me over the edge was when she sat all the way down on his cock, and then paused, muscles tense, reveling in the sensation of being filled up. She does it again when he is halfway out of her, and finally he can’t help himself and reaches up and pulls her back down on him.
4. Look at how the base of his cock gets all creamy from her cunt juices.
5. There’s a moment of indecision, they don’t quite know where to put their existing limbs, it gets a little awkward. And then the clip gets cut off.

Wow.

“Once I had a black woman 15 years my senior tell me in the heat of the moment, ‘Come inside me, Daddy!’  It was so wrong, but fuck if I didn’t come like a hellhound.  Arf.”

- Skinny white boy friend o’ mine

Here’s a male burlesque performer from NYC:

Name: Happy, Male, 40
Do you want to fuck men, women, or both: Women
Last time you got laid (details!): Well, it was last year.  Had a short fling with this girl.  She was law student and very busy. She ended up dropping me. Probably my first real experience with cock worship, she was enthusiastic. I sure do miss her…
Your living arrangement: Apartment, with a roommate, she’s a good friend of mine.
Job situation: IT (Computers), it’s a job, I like it occasionally.
Fashion sense (what do you usually wear?): I could use help here, frankly.  But usually I’m a tshirt and jeans kind of guy.  If I had a little more money, I could be pretty flashy.  Wearing a suit, and a wild one, is not unknown for me.
Grooming habits: I shower daily.  I normally do not wear cologne.  Strong scents hanging around my head like a cloud annoy me.  I use natural anti-deoderant.  I’ve been letting my hair grow out of late, so I use an amlika based hair product to keep it under control.
Do you floss regularly? Every couple of weeks, or when I feel like I need it.  I have pretty good teeth.
Do you smoke? No. At least not tobacco. Mary jane socially.
Do you exercise regularly? Unfortunately I do not. This is likely my biggest problem. I do pay for gym membership, but I don’t regularly go.  I going to get a bike soon and ride it around.
I guess I better add in other hobbies: I do, on occasion, perform burlesque.  I’m one of those rare straight, male burlesque performers. But yet, this does not get me laid. Even if I’m hanging out with scantily clad women.
How many people (of your target gender) do you currently know that you would like to fuck?  What are the obstacles with each one (why aren’t you fucking them?) Too many to count.  Well, in the case of other performers, often I don’t want the potential drama in my life.  So I don’t pursue that as rigorously as I might.  I do inquire on occasion, but I don’t come on strong at all.  Some of girls I interact with are quite a bit younger than I am, so they are probably not interested. Another thing is I’m not sure what I want. I’ve played with the notion of  polyamory, but that can turn off a lot of women, and I haven’t determined if I’m really wired that way. It’d be nice to have a girlfriend that I can possibly explore multiple paths with.  But that commitment might require more than I want to give right now. I’m a late bloomer, too, so I don’t necessarily have the level experience that you might expect for someone my age. It does bother me. I would like to make up for lost time.
How’s your eye contact? Not good. I tend towards being shy.  So, often I will not hold eye contact.
What kind of porn do you like? I don’t watch a lot of porn.  But I don’t mind it, either.  I watch just about anything. Along as it isn’t too violent.  Probably prefer something more artistic… so if it is something like painted bodies that’d be cool.  A mons pubis painted like a flower will get my attention. I like messy fun porn, too.  Sploshing. Sometimes I don’t want to watch because it just reminds me of what I’m missing.
What’s your fetish? What turns you on? I’m probably kind of vanilla. If I have fetish, it’s just the female form. I like woman’s body. So body worship would be one fetish, it is something I could do, lick, kiss and massage from head to toe. That said, I’ve been kind of curious about the sploshing stuff, but I’ve never done anything in that vein, it just looks like a fun. And I think sex should be fun.  If I could have sex in some sort of funhouse, that’d be cool.  I’m curious about bondage, but generally I’m not a big fan of pain or blood.
Are you dom or sub (do you like taking charge or following orders? If rope was involved in sex, would you be tied up or do the tying?) I don’t know.  I would like to try getting tied up sometime.  If I learned how to do it right, I wouldn’t mind tying someone up and having my way with them. I want to experience both sides, so I guess that might make me a switch.
On a scale of 1-10, how would you rate yourself when it comes to physical appearance (1 is hideous, 10 is model)? 6
Using that same scale, what’s the minimum number you expect your partner to be? 6
Car you drive or means of transportation: Mass transportation, I live in NYC after all.
Financial situation: Paying the bills, barely.
Your thoughts on breeding (have kids, wants kids, would you date someone who had kids?) I still have an open mind on having kids.  Although I’m starting to feel I’m getting a little too old for that.  But if I had partner who really wanted kids, I probably wouldn’t object.  I kind of don’t want to be an insta-dad, so I tend to shy away from women with kids.
Religion: Agnostic, almost an atheist.
Charity you would give money to: Volunteer fire companies, theater companies, Burlesque Hall of Fame…
Music you listen to: Just about everything. Jazz, classical, death metal, folksy, blue glass.  Big preference to the blues.  Not a big fan of country, unless it’s old country, or fringe stuff like Hank Williams 3.
Movies you have loved: Original Star Wars, Casablanca, Tampopo,  Big Lebowski, most of the Coen brother stuff.
Do you like to read? Yes.  Science fiction, to historical fact, to mystery, to BDSM erotica, it would seem…
How often do you watch television? Not very often.  I do not own a TV.
Person you respect/admire: Tom Hanks
Past relationship history (how many serious relationships have you had, are you divorced, how many times have you been in love): I haven’t really been in one.  At least not for more than a couple of weeks.
Any physical issues: Little overweight, that’s pretty much it.
Weird habit: I don’t think so. But friends could disagree. I often masturbate more than once a day but I only do that someplace private.

The Beautiful Kind’s verdict: Bravo for burlesque! But not for admiring Tom Hanks, that’s just too vanilla for me. Oh and you need to floss more.

So, you know, I’m starting to think that shyness is the #1 reason for not getting laid. We need to banish shyness. I used to be shy, but it got in the way of being a goddess. How is it that you can perform burlesque and be shy??

And I have something I need to tell you. I feel weird saying this out loud, but it is just an honest fact. You are a redheaded male.

NOBODY has a thing for redheaded men. You hear people raving about redhaired women til the cows come home, and you hear women say they have a thing for blond surfer types or tall, dark and handsome men, but you NEVER hear someone say, “Mmm, give me a redhaired guy any day.” If any of my readers disagree with this statement, then PLEASE speak up.

This means you are at a disadvantage, and you need your wit and charm to carry you into the arms of open-minded vixens who are willing to overlook the fact that you  sport clown hair.

So bone up on your confidence. Don’t be so wishy washy - I edited out quite a few “kind of,” “a bit,” and “maybes” from your answers. Seems like you have great taste, are multi-faceted, and live in the city with the highest number of potential sex partners in the world.

Allow me to give you a sub task: In the next week, take the initiative and ask a woman out. And don’t be wimpy about it! It can even be online. I recommend you go for a strong, dominant type girl for maximum compatibility. I know there are plenty of those types in the wild world of burlesque. Va va VOOM!

My friend Lucyboots over at Kinky Confessions asked if I would do an interview.

I told her I was game, but only if the questions challenged me.

Um, they did.

And - gulp - I didn’t hold back. I almost don’t want you to read it. Almost.

In the interview I share details I have never revealed on my blog. Stuff like my rape, being molested as a kid, bestiality, possum road kill, and why I started blogging.

She also thinks I want to fuck my dad. Go figure.

We’ve got a dead one here, boys and girls. Meet Jerry, a 50 yr old necrophiliac I met on Fetlife. Here is a link to a previous post I did on necro.

TBK: What do you call this “fetish”? Is there a name for it?
Jerry: This fetish can be called snuff fantasy or necrophilia.  Or it can be referred to as erotic horror fantasy also.  What is key is that it is meant to be fantasy or role played between consenting adults.  There is no intent for real harm or violence.

TBK: Do you have a pic or two showing examples of the scenes you like? You mentioned doctoring your own pics.
Jerry: Yes.. I will post a couple of my manipulated photos here.  This one depicts a hanging with a wire noose.  I rolled her eyes, added the noose with shadow, caption and blue coloring to her face.

TBK: How did you get into this?
Jerry: I think the first time I got into this was acutally during childhood perhaps while watching cowboy and western “shoot’em ups.”  I recall feeling mildly “aroused.”  I also enjoyed playing a neighborhood game, called “best man falls.”  Each “victim” would act out a dying scene after being “shot.”  I especially enjoyed when the girls joined in.

TBK: What was the first horror movie you saw?
Jerry: My first horror movie - probably Dracula or Frankenstein.

TBK: What are your fav horror movies?
Jerry: Always enjoyed the Halloween series, Sleepaway camp type films, etc.  Any films that involve hanging too.

TBK: Do you like slasher flicks/monsters/serial killers?
Jerry: I like the slasher flicks mostly.  They tend to be more graphic.  Usually feature women/girls either semi nude or scantily clothed as victims.

TBK: Are you into snuff films?
Jerry: I’ve never seen a real snuff film.  But I do enjoy “enactments” of snuff films.

TBK: Would you like to experience a dead body?
Jerry: Yes,  I think it would be fascinating to be in the presence of a newly dead corpse (of an attractive looking victim) and be able to spend time “exploring” it.  Not sure if I would want to have sex with it, but might possibly get off posing it and viewing it.

TBK: What do you mean by “exploring” it?
Jerry: Looking at it, touching it, kissing it, but standing it up and watching it fall, defiling or defacing it, poking it, dragging it…cumming on it.

TBK: Are you into blood?
Jerry: Many of my photo manipulations feature small amounts of blood.  I’m not into heavy blood and gore though.  But sometimes I don’t mind it.  For example, beheading is a great turn on to me.

Um, why?
Jerry: I often wonder how long the head remains concious after being severed. Does the victim see?  For how long?  From an erotic standpoint, it seems arousing that a beheaded victim could be used a variety of ways for sex:  the corpse neck cavity, the head neck cavity, the mouth of the head for example.  Also, it looks erotic to me if the head is placed close to or in the area of the penis or vagina of the victim. Some of the women that I’ve chatted with about beheading like the idea of having their own tongue of their severed head placed against their pussies…Would a fantasy involving my beheading and placement of my head on or near my cock arouse me…prob’ly!

TBK: What’s your fav method of beheading?
Jerry: Sword - clean swipe. Samurai is best.

TBK: What props turn you on?
Jerry: My favorite props are arrows, knives/swords, guns, and nooses.

TBK: Why do you like hanging so much?
Jerry: I think it looks very erotic especially if the victim is nude.  It also objectifies the victim in the sense that after they have expired and are still dangling, they look kind of like an ornament on display.

TBK: Do you like the aspect of a woman being chased? or tortured or? the fear? the helplessness?
Jerry: I like the more consensual aspect of it.  Not so much into the chasing, torturing.  Helplessness yes.  I am turned on by a woman that would want me to snuff her.  Maybe even beg me to after having her orgasm or during her orgasm.

TBK: Have you roleplayed at all with this?
Jerry: Only online during chat role plays.  My fantasy dream is to meet someone in person and role play a scene.  Role plays have included hangings, shootings, beheadings, gutting, etc.

TBK: Have you met others who share this fetish? Is it mostly men?
Jerry: I have not met anyone in person who shares this fetish.  Only online.  Yes there are many men who do, but I prefer to interact with the women who are into it.  I do make one exception and I have chatted with and correspond with a few attractive tgirls (transexuals) who enjoy this fantasy also.  In fact I got one of them to agree to be an “actress” in a staged video clip for a outfit that does this kind of filming.

TBK: Are there any good websites/resources online that cater to this?
Jerry: Yes.  My favorite is nicheclips.com.  In there you see many video producers featured that specialize in this sort of fantasy.  There are many interesting clips that can be purchased as “pay per view.”

TBK: Are you afraid of dying, or do you embrace it?
Jerry: I guess I’m not ready to die for a long while.  I don’t mind role playing it, but I don’t want it to happen anytime too soon and would prefer it to be from natural causes/old age.

Ready to get creeped out? I’m running an interview with a necrophiliac tomorrow. Super fascinating stuff…

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