New Series: “Fuck You”
Filed under: Fuck You - July 29, 2008 @ 6:00 am
Little known fact: It was Beau who came up with the YATBK idea. He’s responsible for a lot of the great ideas that have shone bright on this blog…
The other day he said, “I have an idea for your blog, but I don’t want to tell you.”
I said, “Oooh that sounds intriguing! Why don’t you want to tell me??”
“Because I’m afraid you’ll really DO IT,” he said with a nervous smile.
Finally I pried it out of him. His idea: for me to fuck the commenters of this blog, and then post a “review” giving allll the dirty details.
He knows me too well.
I love the idea.
So here is my short list of commenters I want to fuck, logistics and their preferences not factored in:
Beau - I’ve already written many glowing reports
Belle - same here
B Diddle
Rev. Lion (I want to experience the comment he left on this post)
Lokey
The Virgin (Not only do I want his cherry, but I want to nullify his blog!)
Tom
Manj
blueridgemariposa
Ebony Diva (you KNOW she wants to eat my lil’ white pussy)
Sapph
Chiavata (but only if a cage is involved)
Sunday
Fallen Angel (I read her fantasy loud and clear)
Now DON’T be offended if you’re not on this list, sheesh. Or consider yourself spared. I weave a wicked spell, after all. Anyway, I’ll definitely be adding to it. We’ll see how this evolves.
July 29th, 2008 at 6:54 am
hahaha, oh poor beau, just a glutton for punishment!
This should be good.
July 29th, 2008 at 7:16 am
Wow. I think the internet just had its mind blown.
July 29th, 2008 at 7:47 am
If you and Rev-Lion hooked up, I doubt either of you would survive the experience!
July 29th, 2008 at 7:58 am
Good point, BUT we’re both strong people. I love a challenge… some of these will require tackling significant obstacles. It’s like playing The Legend of Zelda, you have to go on a big journey and accomplish tasks in order to conquer each level, and the grand finale is SEXUAL NIRVANA.
I wonder if I can knock any of these out two at a time…
July 29th, 2008 at 8:00 am
I think all of us would agree that we want Rev-Lion to get fucked first, I will get my toys ready and waiting by the computer for your blog so I can read and enjoy
~Joy~
July 29th, 2008 at 8:29 am
… DID YOU JUST MAKE A POSITIVE VIDEO GAME REFERENCE IN YOUR BLOG?
Many, many men just had a spontaneous orgasm.
July 29th, 2008 at 8:32 am
I know, I KNOW. I felt really uncomfortable doing it, but the truth is, I played that goofy game as a teenager, and TWICE I almost reached the end of the game, only to have it crash. Link gets to fuck Zelda at the end, right??
There will be no crashing this time, sister.
July 29th, 2008 at 8:36 am
Yes. Link gloriously fucks Zelda until she comes loud and hard and her screams echo throughout the castle walls.
July 29th, 2008 at 8:48 am
This is a call out to all Lurkers. You can’t win if you don’t play.
Rev Lion: I read you comment…Daaaaaaaaaaamn! I mean, I like to THINK I’m a word guy with imagination, but I’m gonna have to bow to the motherfucking King.
July 29th, 2008 at 8:57 am
Admit it, you just want to try out my body bouncer. LMAO
(Which, incidentally, has gotten a great deal of use since delivery!)
I have some requests about the order in which these “fuck you’s” (fuck us’s?) take place. Rev goes last, because I agree, I think you’ll both spontaneously combust or implode, and the rest of us want our turn first. B Diddle gets to go first, simply because there is so much sexual tension there you can cut it with a knife. Me, well, I’d like to be sandwiched in anywhere between the two - actually, I really would like to be sandwiched between those two. Hmmmm…..
*grinning*
Oh, and I think the “Fuck You’s” should be a video blog. Heh heh.
July 29th, 2008 at 9:19 am
Sapph, you’re making my heart go pitter patter. Just imagine being sandwiched between 600 lbs of SOLID, STRONG MAN MEAT OMG!!!!!!
Let’s just have an orgy. I’ll rent a loft and it can be an afterparty after the YATBK art show, mkay?
July 29th, 2008 at 9:33 am
Belle says: “Many, many men just had a spontaneous orgasm.”
A few women joined that queue.
Beautiful, I was thinking just yesterday we ought to plan some sort of TBK Get-Together and see how far spread the ensuing riot might become. I’ll pitch in for the loft.
July 29th, 2008 at 9:45 am
Um, you should just know that I bought a new camera recently. Just putting that out there. You know, in case, uh, you need shots for the blog posts? I’m sure if you put it to a vote you’ll get exactly 0 votes against sexy pics of you and yours in action.
July 29th, 2008 at 9:47 am
“Let’s just have an orgy. I’ll rent a loft and it can be an afterparty after the YATBK art show, mkay?”
Works for me.
(And yes, I’ll bring the bouncer
)
July 29th, 2008 at 9:53 am
TBK said - I wonder if I can knock any of these out two at a time…
You know I am down with that. How about sandwiching yourself in 600lbs of man flesh and my 120lb of soft, supple, longing woman skin??
And I need directions for the orgy…
July 29th, 2008 at 10:15 am
I’ll bring the cage……
July 29th, 2008 at 10:25 am
OMG…….you just let the dogs loose……..
July 29th, 2008 at 10:34 am
You should add Clowny to the list.
July 29th, 2008 at 10:38 am
Yeah, I need to get back to him, he wrote me and asked a finger fucking question, said he wants to know if he’s as skilled at that as all the ladies make him out to be… maybe I’ll have to take him for a test drive myself!
July 29th, 2008 at 10:46 am
It will be interesting to see how many of these dudes actually step up to the plate.
July 29th, 2008 at 10:57 am
I wonder who will start this off…
My vote goes for B-Diddle. That’s been bound to happen for a while, it seems…
July 29th, 2008 at 11:19 am
Well played TBK, well played indeed.
July 29th, 2008 at 11:23 am
Orgy? I think you should have an orgy only AFTER the list is complete. It’s too easy to just do it all at once. Going through the list one by one is the way to go. Plus, if you went the orgy route, you’d have to rename the category to Fuck Y’All and it’d only be one post. Lame. Says I. Although I do think each commenter should be able to choose if they want someone added to the mix seeing as some of you definitely want to fuck each other just as much as you want to fuck TBK. Damn. I sound like a referee. Heh.
July 29th, 2008 at 12:04 pm
What is the criteria for being a fuckable commentor? What’s more important…good looks or a large appendage?
July 29th, 2008 at 12:25 pm
Good question, happy pants. Neither of those are requirements (I’m not sure I want to be with a woman who has a large appendage, but hey maybe I do! I’m kinky like that.)
The key is not in volume of comments, but in QUALITY. You have to ADD VALUE to the blog. If you go back and read the comments on past posts, you’ll see I have a fabulous, witty, thoughtful readership. Good vibes exude from their comments, giving off “you know you want to fuck me” pheromones.
So. Sexy and smart will get you in like Flynn.
July 29th, 2008 at 2:48 pm
I’ve been with a woman who has a large appendage. Makes for a great place to hang your pants.
July 29th, 2008 at 2:59 pm
Well. Since I’m not on the list (yet), you don’t have to travel to Europe.
July 29th, 2008 at 3:16 pm
Literally a “to do” list.
Hardy-har-har!
July 29th, 2008 at 3:28 pm
Thank you Beau for your wonderful ideas….
July 29th, 2008 at 6:05 pm
This is a GREAT idea. I look forward to future reviews.
July 29th, 2008 at 6:07 pm
Well…sex with the Beautiful Kind and her writing about it? Umm..how exciting and challenging. Could I live up to her standards? I am not sure. Could I pleasure her as she deserves to be pleasured? Treated like she should be? Tasted, teased, pleased, ahhh….what else would I do with that body that I have ached for…for so long? Would I last long enough for her? What questions are left to be answered? I don’t know…they may never be answered.
July 29th, 2008 at 8:02 pm
TBK, I am ready and willing to volunteer my services for your ongoing research…….
July 29th, 2008 at 8:17 pm
OMG I wish I commented more. This is going to be amazing.
July 29th, 2008 at 10:01 pm
I see there is a couple of Mike’s commenting….To avoid confusion I have changed my name that appears….But I am still a ready volunteer…..
July 29th, 2008 at 10:05 pm
It has occurred to me that perhaps I should be more specific - consider this your engraved Letter of Acceptance.
Though I wouldn’t have noticed if I _hadn’t_ been on the list, I’m absolutely thrilled to find myself there. Thank you, Beautiful.
Mike (#1): I share your concerns/questions, but you know what? I’m good-god-damned to willing find out!
July 29th, 2008 at 11:35 pm
Did I miss the BlueRidgeMariposa YATBK blog??? She is sexy as fuck!
July 30th, 2008 at 12:24 am
“but I want to nullify his blog”
We’ll see about that.
July 30th, 2008 at 1:08 am
The Virgin - You’ll just have to re-name your blog buddy ! ! !
Lokey- You are so right about Blueridgemariposa…..she is hot beyond compare. She’s fucking smart. She flows like water, and damn, i’d love to swim in her river…….
i’d even live right next to her shores……..
She is very special. yep
July 30th, 2008 at 7:58 am
Tempting so tempting but will me wife help me out? Alas! We have had a mmf but I think I would def have more fun mff. Then we can just tie you down and tease you for awhile then make you cum hard! Then we keep going. HeHe!
July 30th, 2008 at 8:14 am
Mark your calendars - blueridgemariposa’s YATBK goes live Aug 13. In the meantime, her blog can quench your thirst…
Oh and I’ll go with Josh’s suggestion to draw the process out as much as possible, culminating in big orgy.
Virgin - you cannot resist me.
Mikes - I should have a Mike gangbang, where only Mikes are allowed a go, must show valid ID for entrance ha ha ha ha ha
July 30th, 2008 at 8:24 am
I. am. stunned.
I think you just broke the blogosphere. This is revolutionary.
July 30th, 2008 at 8:32 am
EXACTLY! I’ve turned my sex blog into an interactive experience - humanizing all the sexy banter, taking our collective connection to the next level…where it SHOULD be, in my opinion. The symbiosis is inspirational.
AND I’m doing it with style. It’s a beautiful thing.
July 30th, 2008 at 10:14 am
Lokey- Me… sexy as fuck? Why, thank you. I think I may be blushing.
Rev- Well, now I know I am blushing. And biting my bottom lip in pent up sexual frustration.
TBK- 2 more weeks? Really? I have always been used to instant gratification kind of human being… this will be an exercise in patience for me.
And your interactive experience comment made me this of this…
My own “persona” according to that test. I wonder how you would score?
July 30th, 2008 at 10:17 am
Damn straight.
July 30th, 2008 at 10:25 am
I’ve been meaning to join okcupid, I want to self-indulgently take a bunch of tests and then find out who I am most compatible with and join in the fun I’ve been watching all my friends have with that site. Plus it’s the only trendy community site that I’m NOT a member of, might as well jam my circuit breakers and go into networking overload. Speaking of, I almost burned down the house today with my Hitachi Magic Wand. Faulty wiring, flames licked out of the outlet, but fire dept was not called, which is a shame cuz I just LOOOVE chasing firetrucks. Most importantly, my Hitachi is safe and unharmed.
July 30th, 2008 at 10:33 am
holy smokes! your BLOG is on fire! what an idea. you’ll break the internet.
July 30th, 2008 at 10:37 am
I like how you mention the safety of your magic wand over that of your pussy or asshole or whatever orifice it was that overloaded the circuit breakers.
July 31st, 2008 at 1:57 am
So glad a friend turned me on to this site. Will be very interesting to see how this develops!
July 31st, 2008 at 2:41 pm
Sorry, I’m late here but I need to say that BeautifulKind’s comparison of sex to the Legend of Zelda is way hotter then it should be. Oh, and I don’t remember the end of Zelda like Belle does. Maybe I should play Zelda again?
I like the idea of public announcements for letting people know who you want to fuck.
July 31st, 2008 at 5:33 pm
Hmmmm…TBK has offerred herself up to a select list of commentors and the comment count is now @ 49(50 with mine).
Can you feel the love?
July 31st, 2008 at 9:37 pm
What, I didn’t make this list!?! I’m insulted, truly.
This actually gives me a great idea, and by great idea I mean stealing your idea for my own blog…
August 3rd, 2008 at 9:44 pm
c’mon…don’t you remember my boxers profile? that doesn’t rate? i know i haven’t been commenting much but i’d like to crash into you.
August 4th, 2008 at 12:04 am
Okay, so I’ve been a way for a little while and… damn. I really kind of expected to be on the list (you who likes her challenges), but I’m choosing to take omission as a compliment, a nod of respect. I’m conflicted on this one; I mean, it’s clearly immoral (which, I’m sure, only enhances your joy, you dirty heathen you), but I also find this funny as shit.
August 4th, 2008 at 6:18 am
Le sigh. I never make it onto any of the cool lists.
August 4th, 2008 at 10:51 pm
I am online again… And I find this, woohoo!!!! I’ll give you a call and we can set up a time.
August 5th, 2008 at 5:03 am
funny
August 16th, 2008 at 5:12 pm
So, knowing that an encounter is imminent regardless, I would like to be added to this list anyhow. I actually would like to get a review of my performance. And have it shared with your readers. My freaky side kicked up a couple of notches after meeting you last night.