Sex Toy Box: The Twist
Filed under: Sex Toy Box - July 28, 2008 @ 6:00 am
I just want you to know that I hatefucked this sex toy.
It’s called The Twist, and I loathed it upon sight. It’s UGLY and cheap looking. Seeing as how it resembles a FLEET enema, I decided I should shove it up my ass. I didn’t even read the description, I just went on instinct here. I’ve never had a vibrating object up my ass before, so I figured it would be a new thrill.
Um, it was. I LIKED how it felt, all lubed up and probing, it tickled my rectum good and sent a shout out to a bunch of nerve endings that normally get neglected.
But I didn’t want to like it! Stupid ugly thing! And when you turn it on high it sounds like a model airplane, which is not sexy. Here, this is what it sounds like.
Admittedly, it was fun to have my rear covered as I attended to my front with the Hitachi Magic Wand. Double prizes, bitches! And it was a nice size for my nearly virginal ass.
So yeah, I don’t recommend this thing. But… I do. It was pretty fucking cool, made me feel dirty. I’m pretty sure I sneered as I came (which happened with a quickness, I might add). And man do I want to stick it up a guy’s ass!!! Don’t worry fellas, I’ll clean it nice and good for you…
PS: Note on box: Warning - This device should not be used over swollen or inflamed areas or skin eruptions. Do not use on unexplained calf pain. Made in Japan.
July 28th, 2008 at 8:39 am
I didn’t shove this thing up any orifice of mine (or any unexplained calf pain), but I definitely agree about the sound it makes. Let’s also not overlook the fact that the base with the switches is also cheaply made and the plastic halves rub loosely on each other when you turn it on.
July 28th, 2008 at 8:51 am
Yeah, I thought it sounded funny, too.
July 28th, 2008 at 10:15 am
i guess that ring is so you can jam it all the way up in there and it will stay ???
looks cheap. looks fun.
July 28th, 2008 at 12:30 pm
unexplained calf pain???? I’m confused. LOL
July 28th, 2008 at 2:36 pm
The unexplained calf pain is about people vibrating their possible deep vein thrombosis/blood clots loose! Weird eh, to think that there must have been more than a few people in trouble from doing this for there to be a warning on the packet.
Anyway. Cheaply-made sex toys can be so good, eh? It’s all at once a dang shame and an awesome bonus.
July 28th, 2008 at 5:11 pm
lol
Yes, I guess it sort of ugly. I am so used to seeing it all the time that it looks everything else. (Scary. When anal sex toys look like everything else.) This is one of my top backdoor fun toys. I am not into a lot of anal sex toys, but this is one that I enjoy.
Loved the review. Thanks for the laugh, too.
-Heather
July 28th, 2008 at 7:18 pm
That thing was CRAZY LOUD. I thought a plane was about to crash into my house!!!