Coming Up: “It’s Broken” Theme Week
Filed under: Eros - June 23, 2008 @ 1:00 pm
Have you ever broken your cock? How about your pussy? Your favorite sex toy? Your heart? Did it get fixed? We want to hear about it. I’ll be telling y’all about the time I broke my pussy. I broke it good, didn’t think it would ever be in proper working order again.
Send your tales of woe (hopefully with happy endings!) to love [at] thebeautifulkind . com
The best stories will be featured during “It’s Broken” theme week.
June 23rd, 2008 at 1:25 pm
this could be fun……
June 23rd, 2008 at 2:16 pm
I used to be paranoid as hell about this when a woman would be on top and really going at it. I would think, man if that thing comes out and she comes down on it full force and misses, Im FUCKED!
June 23rd, 2008 at 3:28 pm
When I was 17 or 18 I went to the doctor because I had a huge swollen knot on my public mound. The doctor looked at me and said, “Um… do you have… er… rambunctious sex?” “Well, yes, yes, I do.” I answered truthfully. He said, “Stop. At least for a while. You’ve been hitting one of your glands so hard it’s damaged and needs time to heal.” “Oh… OK…”
It got all better and never happened again in spite of “rambunctious” sex.
And once my partner slipped out and smashed his member into the wrong spot. Poor guy. I wasn’t sure if he wanted to cry, throw up, or do both. It was a little bent but not really broken. I have to say, it hurt me pretty bad, too, but I think it hurt him more.
June 23rd, 2008 at 3:31 pm
Saw what you wrote about Heath Ledger.
You can go FUCK YOURSELF!!!!!!!!
HLRIP
June 23rd, 2008 at 3:47 pm
never broke it, but the only 2 ticks i ever got were on my ballsack . . . .
June 23rd, 2008 at 4:02 pm
Re Mathilda’s comment, here is that post, no joke(r)
http://www.thebeautifulkind.com/2008/01/22/6-reasons-why-the-news-of-heath-ledgers-death-should-not-upset-you/
June 23rd, 2008 at 5:52 pm
Haha, Tara, “rambunctious” - I love it.
A little on the innocent-and-charming side, but: I once chipped a tooth in an enthusiastic kiss. Had to have the dentist file it down — I did not admit to how it happened.
I’m still friends with that ex, and he’s (charmingly) rather proud of having left a lasting mark on me, as it were.
June 23rd, 2008 at 6:10 pm
You leave Mathilda alone TBK!!! People like her are the reason I have a job!!
(I work for the company that prints those entertainment tabloids including the National Enquirer)
June 23rd, 2008 at 6:21 pm
oh I have a good one for this:
I was 16, my first boyfriend. We weren’t having sex yet, but we were masters of foreplay. I had a secret spot where we could go fool around. After a particularly wet and wild session we were laying on the floor and i got up to start putting my clothes back on…Apparently he wasn’t done with me because he proceeded to jump me from behind. He was 6′5 and maybe 230 pounds…and he jumped on my 5′6 self which made me fall onto my hands and knees with him on my back. I hear a SNAP and scream. He thinks I’m playing along and starts wiggling on me trying to get me to collapse, which I do. He starts trying to finger me and THEN realizes that I am tearing up (what a douche). Long story short he had ruptured two of the discs in my back, but since I couldn’t tell anyone how it happened (my mother would have killed me) the doctors just assumed I had slept funny or something. Two years of pain later I finally got an MRI and they saw the bulging discs and I had surgery. And they still don’t know how it happened. ha.
June 23rd, 2008 at 8:22 pm
Once, in high school, I was so happy to see darling that I ran down the hall and jumped into his arms. I hurt his knee pretty badly and I’m not sure if it’s healed yet. Also the story of how we met involves me falling in his lap and crushing his nuts.
June 23rd, 2008 at 9:39 pm
My Husband and I were teens at the time fucking real hard in my bedroom, he was going at me and suddenly slipped out and entered completly in the other avaliable hole, I screamed “Holy Fuck!” and shot across the bed and went into the fetal position in the corner, ha ha, he had no idea what happened, he couldnt stop apologizing once I told him. We broke my ass one other time when he and I were going at it once again and were trying a new position and I was flung off the bed and landed on my spike high heel sticking up into my butt cheek, I couldnt sit right for a week.
And I have broken my husbands poor penis when I got a IUC put in, they cut it as short as it would go and he is apparently so big that we couldnt fuck or his tip would get cut up. Finally we had to get it removed bc it was distroying our sex life, and all the nurses stopped me on the way out asking me if I brought my husband along. I only smiled and walked away.
PS When we were in the military, we were in the waiting room at about 1 am in the morning and we heard all the nurses gigling at an x-ray, we came to find out once we got into a room in the back that a couple were fucking and he threw her off the bed and she landed on her neck fracturing her spine, she was going to be ok, but man, I would have loved to watch that show thru a peephole.
June 23rd, 2008 at 10:36 pm
You already know about my “broken penis” incident, but I also can no longer feel the lymph node on the right side of the front of my neck. The ex and I were fucking one night and had recently got into choking. She was riding me while also choking me with her hand, but she wasn’t doing it as hard as I would like. So I kept encouraging her to apply more pressure, harder and harder.
Her hands were rather small and she couldn’t get her hand around my neck enough to sufficiently cut off my air supply so she had her fingers on the left side of my trachea and her thumb on the right side squeezing to close of the trachea. I pleaded for her to apply more and more pressure and she would comply until I felt something move/pop/slip and flew into a violent coughing fit. She had pressed on the lymph node a little too hard with her thumb and it, more or less, moved from it’s original spot to about a half inch over. My throat was sore for 3 or 4 days and swallowing was no fun at all, but it eventually stopped hurting and I’ve had no troubles out of it so I never saw a need to seek medical attention.
June 23rd, 2008 at 10:43 pm
holy carp! you guys break a lot!
June 23rd, 2008 at 11:34 pm
JustJoy - Sweet hubby and I had the IUD string poking thing going on here too. He was pretty relieved when I got that removed!
June 24th, 2008 at 7:27 am
Comfy, I was just thinking that myself!
I don’t recall breaking any body parts, I’ve had awesome marathon sex to the point my pussy was almost raw and needed a few days to heal.
The one thing I vividly remember breaking was a bed once. This was years ago when RBB and I were towards the beginning of our relationship and we decided to get together with close friends who were also a couple. At the time we had a full size bed that had been mine since childhood made from solid maple. The four of us are having fun until all at once, CRASH and we fall down! I know we all had the look of shock for a moment then burst out laughing because we were so relieved that we were okay.
July 22nd, 2008 at 12:18 pm
who said something bad about heath ledger? i’ll beat them up.
My vagina isn’t broken, but it’s defective.