Things in China

Filed under: Heebie Jeebies - June 2, 2008 @ 1:00 pm

A thing I missed in China:

toilet paper

A thing I didn’t miss in China:

bleach blond hair

23 Comments to “Things in China”

Dor Says:
June 2nd, 2008 at 1:08 pm
WTF do they wipe their asses with? Am I the only one who cant believe that in the 21st century we are still cleaning our asses this way? A team of scientists needs to be assembled to address this pressing issue. Perhaps “wiping issue” would be more appropriate.
The Beautiful Kind Says:
June 2nd, 2008 at 1:29 pm
In most of the places I visited, you had to bring your own toilet paper. Most places didn’t have hand soap, and none had hot water. The hotel room bathrooms catered to our Western ways and had regular toilets and even bathtubs. Tomorrow I’ll be posting a pic of the common Chinese toilet. It was my first time using such a thing, since I hardly ever get out of the U.S.
Dor Says:
June 2nd, 2008 at 1:33 pm
Damn, thats like going camping! Im guessing hand sanitizer is a must there.
The Virgin Says:
June 2nd, 2008 at 4:22 pm
Yeah, I think it’s about time to start using the three seashells.
TheLion Says:
June 2nd, 2008 at 4:44 pm
like india, you never shake with the left hand…..
TheLion Says:
June 2nd, 2008 at 4:56 pm
when i leave town i always miss the thick, beautiful “flavor” of the african-american community……
its like eating rice when you are used to eating “chocolate”……
Mmmmmmmmmmmm. i love people watching….and people tasting…
Tom Says:
June 2nd, 2008 at 6:52 pm
I’ve been told that the thing most people miss is diapers. Not for their own children but those of the Chinese babies who let loose through specially designed flaps whenever the urge strikes them.
Floyd Says:
June 2nd, 2008 at 7:15 pm
It was the same way in Peru. Toilet paper was scarce and in some places you had to pay to use the toilet and were given a specific amount of toilet paper…always around 5 or 6 squares. I can’t wipe my fucking nose with 6 squares…much less my ass.
TheMonk Says:
June 2nd, 2008 at 9:21 pm
Yes, Virgin! Three shells, I am completely with you on that one.
Los Suerte del Camarón Says:
June 2nd, 2008 at 11:55 pm
TBK, you state that in most places, you had to bring your own TP. Does that mean that everyone still used TP, but they just brought their own, or are you alleging that Chinese people use a different method to cleanse their butthole after a nice messy turd?

If so, what the fuck is it? I’m imagining perhaps a washcloth that is reused from day to day? Or is it something more sinister? Whatever it is, I’m sure it’s strictly monitored by the Chinese government. Which reminds me: how did you guys manage not to be arrested for anything whilst in China?

Turdlingly Yours,

Camarón
Manj Says:
June 3rd, 2008 at 2:55 am
Here in Japan almost everybody carries a small pack of tissues around with them for that purpose, and toilets in busy areas have tissue pack vending machines. It means the toilets are much cleaner, and there’s less wasting of provided loo paper. If you want to use two squares or ten, go for it - it’s your own stuff you’re using!

Lots of companies give out free packs of tissues with their promotional material on a card inside on the street (I always swerve for them and grab one).

Also, squat toilets are much better, physiologically speaking, for your health. Who do us westerners think we are, perched primly on our thrones?? Silly nonsense. Give me a squatter any day!!
Beau Kind Says:
June 3rd, 2008 at 6:19 am
Virgin, That may be the first allusion to a Stallone movie on TBK.
The Beautiful Kind Says:
June 3rd, 2008 at 6:51 am
Oh good - a CLUE as to what that three seashells thing is about.
Floyd Says:
June 3rd, 2008 at 10:25 am
I remember reading the interview where Stallone was actually asked about the three seashells. Couldn’t believe a journalist actually asked that question.

http://www.i-mockery.com/shorts/three-seashells/
The Beau Kind Says:
June 3rd, 2008 at 3:48 pm
I’d love to hear more questions like that one. I get so tired of hearing, “So what was it like working with Sandra Bullock?” “How about Denis Leary?”

A couple more clues for TBK–who will NEVER figure it out without imdb.com I wonder if she’s ever even seen ONE Stallone movie?
Dor Says:
June 3rd, 2008 at 4:10 pm
I must admit, I am completely lost myself about this one.
The Beau Kind Says:
June 4th, 2008 at 3:29 pm
I asked her and she HASN’T ever seen one of his movies. I’m going to have to rectify that. Any suggestions? And don’t say Copland–that wouldn’t be a fair representation.
The Beautiful Kind Says:
June 4th, 2008 at 3:36 pm
Fuck that Rambo shit. Wait a minute - I think I did see a Rocky movie once, with Mr. T? I remember the mouth guards and a lot of sweat and blood and that big swollen eye that looked like a mare’s cunt.

> PHEW <

who knew that a movie I saw as a kid would spare me two hours when I was 35?
The Beau Kind Says:
June 4th, 2008 at 4:19 pm
You’ll have to convince me that that should count!!!
Dor Says:
June 4th, 2008 at 4:34 pm
Speaking of movies, are you guys ever going to watch that goddamn Wicker Man? Everyone except TBK will probably hate it, hell she might even hate it!
The Beautiful Kind Says:
June 4th, 2008 at 4:51 pm
Movie night tomorrow night with B-Diddle…
The Beau Kind Says:
June 7th, 2008 at 5:27 pm
I broke down and told her that the movie was Demolition Man, and that they didn’t explain how to use the shells.
Jen Says:
June 13th, 2008 at 8:55 am
The great part of Demolition Man is the proliferation of Taco Bell!

.
.
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…oh yeah, wrong crowd.

BEAN BURRITOS 4EVA.

Be open and honest. Don't be ashamed of your inner pervert. Work the kinks OUT.

The Beautiful Kind

Things in China

23 Comments to “Things in China”

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