The Beautiful Kind

The other day we were staying at a bed & breakfast, and there was a crib in the room.

On a whim, little Belle climbed into the crib. Naked. Of course Beau went over and stuck his cock through the slats and she started sucking on it.

And of course I grabbed the camera and took pictures of the twisted scene. We were all laughing over it. It kindof reminded me of my girl in cage fantasy.

I swear we’re not turning into infantalists around here. We’re just pervert experts who can turn any ordinary situation into something sexual. It’s more fun that way.

I have this travel mug and it tips over ALL the time and spills and makes a mess.

Finally one day Belle came home and shoved a bag at me. “Here, I thought you needed this.”

I opened it up. She got me a sippy cup.

I’ve found it makes a great cocktail shaker. I like drinking whiskey out of it.

Alias: A
Age: 31
Relationship status: Happily Married
Sexual orientation: Bisexual
Favorite physical feature on yourself: Eyes
Beauty tip: Be mindful of your mental and emotional health every day. There is nothing more beautiful than when someone feels strong, sane, clear and secure with them self.
Charity you support: www.diabetes.org
If you could take a class for fun right now, what would you take? Piano. I’ve been wanting to learn on a serious level.
What do you want to learn/add to what you already know? Well, I’m studying Biology and have spent a lot of time learning about Nutrition. I’d love to learn even more about the physiological affects that food has in our bodies. What’s more, how it affects ones mental and emotional health and capacity.
Did you have an imaginary friend growing up? No, not really though I did have a lot of internal dialogue going on. Errr, not that I would hear voices but I suppose I started analyzing everything around me from a very young age.
What is one of the bravest things you have ever done? I stepped above all the pain and fear and became 100% willing to let go of the most important relationship in my life in order to find what was real. …and they lived happily ever after.
Special skill/talent, what are you really good at? (non-sexual): Reading people and situations.
Special skill/talent, what are you really good at? (sexual): He says my being uninhibited.
How old were you when you lost your virginity? 14 on a water bed. If only I had heard of Dramamine.
The last time you had sex, and with who: This past week with my hubs.
Tattoos/piercings: Piercings: Nose, ears, hood. Tattoos: A beautiful lotus that covers my, uh, kitty. Soon there will be another one to commemorate my marriage. This will not be on my kitty.
What type of person are you into? In general, those who are passionate, real, secure, open, and sincere. Sexually, all of the above including the ability to put me into submission.
What do you fantasize about? What turns you on? I fantasize about most things that in reality I would not like to experience with the exception of a gang bang. Oh, I’d love that. Much of what TBK has written about, I concur with on a sexual level. What a brave woman to admit what she does. Turn ons: Intelligent people, nerds, being challenged, being Dominated, Dominating women, seeing photos/videos of women in vulnerable and usually uncomfortable positions, passionate love making which feels almost animalistic, and chocolate raspberry flavored anything.
Pubic hairstyle: Usually trimmed or shaved.
What do your nipples look like? Brownish-Pink and are often (somewhat embarrassingly) poking through my shirt.
What was one of the hottest moments of your life? The first threesome I shared with my husband. It was amazing.
Any regrets? Yes. Not being completely honest with myself about the meaning of the sexual activities I participated in outside of my relationship some years ago. It harmed both myself and the man who is now my husband. The benefit was that it helped me to realize that I was using sex and seduction as a way to feel better about myself. At the time, feeling good and finding my identity did not come from these behaviors, nor did a healthy and happy relationship. The absence of such intentions paved the way for real growth and happiness. Using said behaviors while in a healthy place in ones life can, however, be very exciting, hot, and produce some of the most amazing and memorable experiences.
Why do you think I chose you for YATBK? Probably because you know that I’m true kinkster through and through. Plus, I read your blog like a daily newspaper.

The other day when Beau and Belle had sex, Belle feigned unconsciousness as Beau had his way with her until he finally came on her chest. That scenario is definitely on my fantasy wish list, so they inspired me to come up with my own sleeping beauty fantasy. Shouldn’t be too hard to turn it into reality, ey?

Tonight when I go to bed, you will come visit me after I’ve fallen asleep. I will leave the front door unlocked, and you will let yourself in. You will be stealthy. I will be lying on my back, sleeping innocently. You will enter the bedroom, all hulking and silent. Unconsciously, I will smell you and be aroused. You’ll pull back the blanket. My nipples will stiffen under my nightclothes, and I will sigh softly.

You watch me sleep for a long time, and then finally you barely stroke my hair and face. I turn my face into your cupped hand. You trace my closed eyelids and lips with the tips of your fingers. My mouth parts involuntarily. Your fingers trail across my soft jawline, and your hand moves down to my slender neck, and rests there. All you have to do is squeeze…

You unbutton my shirt, one by one, until it falls to the sides and my small breasts, creamy torso, and concave belly are revealed. You watch my breathing for a while, and then you place a hand between my breasts, barely touching. I can feel your heat, and I am stirring just a little, but I keep my eyes closed. I can hear you breathing.

Your hand will dip down into the valley of my belly, down to my hipbones. You go back up and place your huge hands on my breasts, your fingers spread. You can feel my hard nipples poking into your palms. You keep one hand on a breast and let the other one snake down to glide over my pubic mound. You can feel heat through my pajama bottoms.

You slowly pull them off of me, working them over my round ass, down my legs, past my ankles. You caress my silky thighs, calves, the arches of my feet, then work your way back up. You rest your head on my thigh and inhale my scent. You move in closer and my pubic hair tickles your nose.

You sit up and shed your clothes. I still don’t open my eyes, but am aware of you. I hear the rustle of your clothes. It’s only when you are naked and covering me with your hot body that I reach for you and pull you close. I feel your chest hair tickling me, you nuzzle the crook of my neck, my long hair filtering through your fingers, cool and soft. Angel hair. I feel your erection pressing against me. One of your big thighs parts my legs, and you still aren’t close enough. Yet.

I have not actually talked to Beautiful or Beau since they left for their trip to China, aside from fleeting and hurried instant messaging sessions

They had to endure a 24 hour flight to get there. I sure hope they joined the Mile High Club. According to Wikipedia, some people attribute the allure of the club to the lower atmospheric pressure in the flight cabin, which they claim increases the intensity of orgasms.

I’ll give Beautiful or Beau honorary Mile High Club memberships if they masturbate.

I was talking to a friend about how The Belle and I have such different looking pussies. He said, “So you’re a lily and she’s an orchid?”

I said, “Noo, I don’t think so.”

He tried again. “How about snapdragon and peach?”

“Hm, that sounds about right.”

Belle thinks my pussy looks like a pink straw mushroom. You should have seen her poking around in it the other night. As for her, her lips are really stretchy. Like ball skin.

We all have people in our lives who are catalysts for change within ourselves. “Five Things” is an expression of things learned and remembered, of intense relationships with others. It is a proud statement that humans can find connectivity and meaning among fellow humans.

Five things:
1. You taught me that life is much more fulfilling if you spend it learning.
2. You taught me to question the nature of reality and see beyond what was right in front of me.
3. Before you, I was afraid to explore the inner workings of my own mind.
4. Before you, I never wondered what the stars looked like from the other side of the galaxy.
5. You made me realize that I am beautiful.

Art: Without you, I would not be where I am today. You are my catalyst. Thank you.

These are five things I have learned from a single individual. What are your five things? E-mail love@thebeautifulkind.com

-Belle

I made her come
in the bathtub
by hitchhiking on her g-spot.

Still wet
we scampered into the living room.

She pressed her face against my pussy,
awash in the dim light
of a television playing static.

The dog was watching.
He kept his distance.

-Belle

Dudes, what happened to all of the posts from May 23? I think I had a glitch. Anyway…

You’ll never believe what I found surfing www.bmezine.com the other day. I’ve found someone who is more sexed up than Beautiful.

I know what you’re saying. You saying, “Yeah right Belle. It’s not even freakin’ April Fools. You are so full of it.”

I might be full of it but not about this fantastic lady:

Here is an excerpt from her interview with BMEzine…

“I will betray anyone, at any time, to have sex with men or women. When I tried to fight my addiction and not have sex with people, I got myself jailed three times for domestic assaults”

Michelle is a 27 year old adult actress who can’t get enough. She decided one day in a fit of mental anguish to get whatever she was thinking tattooed on her. More tats followed as a way to cope with her sex addiction. Here are a few:

And if you think these tattoes can only bring on insults and disgusted looks, think again. She once had a nurse in a mental hospital go down on her after asking questions about her tattoos.

You can read the whole interview and see more pics of her brilliantly inked body here:

http://www.bmezine.com/news/pubring/20061028.html

-Belle

Dear Belle,

We miss you! I hope you are having fun with the blog and B-Diddle. Please tell all our sex toys hi for us, especially Biggie. In fact, why don’t you take him out for a playdate/photo shoot?

Some quick observations about China:

- the pollution is as bad as they say it is, at least in Shanghai.
- the people are small but the underwear on the clotheslines = really big.
- there are lots of hump-backed midgets here.
- nude pantyhose is popular with the ladies.
- there are lots of hip young dudes with 80’s hair.
- we are doing our best to have kinky sex here without you. I have a few good stories to share when we return. They involve things like the tour bus, a plate glass window, and a surprise wake-up call.

Love,
The Beautiful Kind xoxo

The other day, a woman I work for offered to give me her old King-sized mattress (her and her husband bought a new fancy-shmancy memory foam one)

I called my mom to ask to borrow the truck so I could haul it home. First, she agreed, but then an hour later (as I was getting ready to go get the mattress) she called:

She explained that she loved me, but she didn’t support my lifestyle choice and therefore, would not let me borrow the truck to pick up the mattress.

Granted, it is a mattress. She probably (and rightfully) had images in her head of the three of us fucking on it.

I asked her to explain exactly what about my lifestyle choice she had a problem with. Her response:

“It’s just not right”
“Why?” I asked.
“Because I just don’t like it, that’s all.”
“Why?”
“Because it’s just not right.”

I encouraged her to actively come up with a real reason instead of talking in circles. She told me that she understands being straight, and she understands being a lesbian, but she can’t understand being with a man and a woman. So, again I asked:

“Why?”

She told me that she was afraid they might want to add another person, or that I might get diseases (??) and that poor, poor Beautiful’s daughter was going to grow up thinking triads are normal.

I tried to explain to her that it’s just like being in a regular relationship – except with two people. I told her that just like she loves her kids all just as much if she had one or three, we can love each other just as openly – love does not have to be a commodity.

I don’t really need her approval to do what I do, I just wish I could show her that sometimes when life does not fit perfectly inside a pre-molded box, it’s a good thing. Also, let it be known that she could be much, much less civil about her disapproval. she disagrees with me in just about the nicest way a mother can disagree.

-Belle

Eccentric YATBK: Because I’ve taken over damnit. This is a person I met on the ‘net who has a very unorthodox kink.

-Belle

Alias: Free Wheeling
Age: 38
Relationship status: Married.
Sexual orientation: I am bisexual, but I’ve never been with a woman. It took me forever to admit to myself that I *am* bi. Beyond questions of gender, I am what’s known as a “devotee”. I am extremely attracted to people with physical disabilities. I think their bodies are breathtakingly beautiful, and nothing turns me on like the sight of paralyzed legs.
Favorite physical feature on yourself: I love my eyes, and while I have a big issue with my legs, they are indeed my best bodily feature; I have elegant ankles.
Beauty tip: Take good care of your skin so that it glows, use moisturizer and sunscreen to protect your face from the ravages of time. If you don’t have what might be considered “natural beauty”, then looking “well groomed” can go a long way to improving your appearance. That said, I’m too lazy to look well groomed much the time! Who has the time??
Charity you support: I send money to Catholic Relief Services when a disaster occurs somewhere in the world. I trust this particular charity to send the money to the people who I intend for it to go to. And although there is no charity associated with Body Integrity Identity Disorder (BIID), I regularly donate my time and talents to furthering BIID research and awareness. http://www.biid-info.org ;o)
If you could take a class for fun right now, what would you take? I would absolutely LOVE to go to rehab and learn to properly handle my wheelchair in tricky situations.
What do you want to learn/add to what you already know? I’d like to know how to cook better and how to write more interesting blog posts. I’d like to know how to write a convincing argument so as to help change the minds of people who stubbornly refuse to detach themselves from their prejudices. Then again, with most such people, no amount of skill in rhetoric could do that.
Did you have an imaginary friend growing up? No! But I had an imaginary “me”…does that count? I was always pretending or imagining that I was disabled, either in a wheelchair or blind. I still do, actually.
What is one of the bravest things you have ever done? I realized a dream out of sheer determination. It took patience, blood, sweat, and tears, and was the hardest thing that I’ve ever done in my entire life. I have BIID (see link above, or if you don’t feel like reading, this is an identity disorder somewhat similar to Gender Identity Disorder which leads someone to feel that they need to be disabled in some way), and I need to be a paraplegic. While I’ll probably never achieve that particular goal, using a wheelchair goes a long way to ease the psychological distress that having fully functional legs causes me. After years, decades of repressing and denying this need, I finally broke out a couple of years ago. I started using a wheelchair, and found immense relief from it. I have integrated it into my daily life. That whole process was terrifying, mostly because of “what will people say??” I’m still afraid, but I keep going, despite the fear, because it’s what I need, and it’s who I am.
Special skill/talent, what are you really good at? (non-sexual): I truly excel at being a jack of all trades, master of none!
Special skill/talent, what are you really good at? (sexual): I honestly have no special sexual skill, I’m very “vanilla” and have been told by a friend who’s into kink that this is because I am merely “sexually underprivileged”. Alas, that is probably true. Although it’s not a skill or talent, I’m actually proud of the fact that I find the disabled attractive, because mainstream society generally doesn’t view them in that way. I would not objectify them and make them into sexual objects; they are simply sexual beings as we all are, and deserve to be appreciated for their sexuality.
How old were you when you lost your virginity? 17
The last time you had sex, and with who: I have absolutely no idea when it last was, but it was with my husband! It’s been awhile, I’m afraid. *wince*
Tattoos/piercings: Just my ears!
What type of person are you into? I prefer people who are highly intelligent and have a wide range of interests. I am shy and feel somewhat socially inadequate, so I need people who are chatty and converse easily, but who are also good listeners. I like people who are genuinely interested in what I have to say, even if they don’t necessarily agree with it. They don’t have to have the same beliefs as I do, but they need to respect my beliefs as I will respect theirs. They also need to be open-minded and compassionate about people who are dealing with problems and issues that they may not necessarily understand — my BIID, for example.
What do you fantasize about? What turns you on? Ever since puberty and my first sexual experience (masturbating at age 13) I have been extremely attracted to people in wheelchairs, specifically to their atrophied legs. The thought of their not being able to move their legs at all is extremely erotic. I find there to be a very exotic beauty in the disabled form.
Pubic hairstyle: Jeez, I had no idea that there was such a thing as a pubic hairstyle! I had to run in panic to a friend, and asked “What if I say that I don’t have one?” Their response was that readers would think that I was completely shaved there! I guess I would have to say that my pubic hairstyle is “au naturel” because I utterly cannot abide the thought of stubble in those tender regions.
What do your nipples look like? Large, café au lait areolas, somewhat oval in shape (they are not totally round for some reason!), with a small nipple.
What was one of the hottest moments of your life? The day I finally discovered that I could have an orgasm during intercourse if I was on top! It took me a while to figure that one out. lol
Any regrets? Ohhhh, many! I am an expert at Catholic Guilt. But one of the worst regrets is that I waited until my late 30s to stop repressing my BIID and allow myself to be who I really am.
Why do you think I chose you for YATBK? Uh, because I’m a really nice person? ;o) And I have BIID, which readers will either find to be unusual or just plain freaking wierd, and I’m a devotee of people with disabilities, which, in spite of my general vanilla-ness, is not a run-of-the-mill kink!

We went up to wake The Belle, she had to get up and get ready for school. He and I had to leave for work as well. All of a sudden instead of just waking her up, we’re having this crazy impromptu three way sex romp that left us all giddy for the rest of the day.

Nice.

The other day Beau said he was going to make a mock apple pie. I said, “What the hell is that?”

He said, “It’s a pie that tastes just like an apple pie, only you use crackers instead of apples.”

“WHY?”

“It’s what I grew up with. It’s my mom’s recipe.”

“So your mom made you cracker pie when you were a kid??”

“It’s really good, you can’t tell the difference,” he assured me.

“This I gotta see.” Then I opened my big mouth. “I’ll bet you something humiliating in the bedroom that it will taste fucked up.”

“You’re on!”

He got out his frilly apron (just kidding, Dor) and baked the pie. The recipe called for:

16 saltine crackers
1 1/2 cup sugar
1 1/2 tsp cream of tartar
1 Tbsp margarine
1/2 tsp cinnamon
1 1/2 cup warm water
unbaked pie shell

There it was, cooling on the stove. I dug in and tried it. Holy shit - it really looked and tasted like apple pie! Some sort of crazy chemistry goes on during the baking process.

And once again, I lost another bet. I have to do something humiliating in the bedroom. Trouble is, they’ve been sitting around racking their brains trying to come up with a suitably humiliating task for me to perform and they’re drawing a blank. Eat cum? Get spanked? Tied up? Kiss their feet? pffffffft

Do you have any ideas? (By the way, we need to make that fuck TBK out in the country thing happen, stay tuned for that.)

It has very little do to with sex though.

Here’s a few reasons why:

1. I drive a Trans Am and a motorcycle
2. I repair my vehicles
3. I fix the plumbing, install light fixtures, and know how to weld
4. I have superior visual-spatial skills
5. I wear men’s clothing (wife beaters, boxers, tightie whities, and jeans)
6. If you’re having a problem, I don’t know how to listen – I just want to fix it.
7. I am far more likely to be logical than emotional
8. I play X-box (much to Beautiful’s chagrin)

-Belle

I did not have my first bisexual experience until a few months ago, at age 25. Sure, I’ve hugged and kissed girls playfully, I’ve had bi girls crush on me, and I’ve groped more than a few breasts in my life.

At first, I felt a little weird about this. I wasn’t particularly attracted to women as a child or young adult. I had a crush on another girl in high school – she was creative and intelligent, the girl who got all of the lead roles in school plays – but she was the only one, ever. Nothing ever came of that aside from sleepovers in the same bed.

Women have often been my competitors. They competed with me for best friend status, they tried to steal my boyfriends by giving them road head, they complained when I didn’t spend enough time with them. A few years ago a friend of mine and I roomed together, and we would get into territorial spats over things like whose coffee table belonged in the living room. To be perfectly honest, I don’t get along with women. When Beautiful came along, I could count all of my female friends on less than one hand – even when I added my femmy-lesbian-ex-boyfriend.

So when Beautiful came along and I became a lovesick little pup, I wondered: am I really bi? Why did I not develop an attraction to women until well after all of my neurons completed development?

I was happy to read in the book The Ethical Slut by Dossie Easton that 50% of women have their first bisexual experience after age 25. Looks like I am right on schedule. Whew.

-Belle

Alias: Artistically Inclined
Age: 26
Relationship status: In a monogamous relationship.
Sexual orientation: Straight, with the occasional “socially-bi” moment.
Favorite physical feature on yourself: My hands and feet.
Beauty tip: Plain old table salt mixed with your shower gel makes a perfectly adequate exfoliating scrub.
Charity you support: Free Software Foundation, Dress for Success
If you could take a class for fun right now, what would you take? Latin
What do you want to learn/add to what you already know? I’m a painter, and I really want to push myself this year and learn more about making art. I also want to to read more.
Did you have an imaginary friend growing up? Yes, but not one specific imaginary person. It changed based on what pretend game I was into at the time, but I was always imagining characters and playmates, and pretending I had a best friend who never had to go home but could hang out with me all the time and have sleep overs every night.
What is one of the bravest things you have ever done? I quit a job I hated without a plan (I used to be a total workaholic, and very much a control freak, so it was a huge deal.)
Special skill/talent, what are you really good at? (non-sexual): I’ve been told I’m pretty good at painting, and business, but frankly, I think my true skill is making my secret recipe apple pie that puts your grandma’s to shame.
Special skill/talent, what are you really good at? (sexual): I think I somehow make my partner feel comfortable being themselves in bed, and thus confident, but men tend to say that I’m a great cocksucker.
How old were you when you lost your virginity? 16
The last time you had sex, and with who: Yesterday evening, minutes before dinner guests arrived, with my guy.
Tattoos/piercings: Only my ears are pieced, and I have no tattoos. I’m considering one, but it’s a big decision, because if I do, I want to go all the way and get a large design wrapping around my body.
What type of person are you into? Intelligent, creative, sarcastic people who can make me laugh and make me think but haven’t given up being kind and loving.
What do you fantasize about? What turns you on? Being spanked, being tied up, getting sexually teased, kissing, flirting, being touched gently, exploring my partner’s body, having sex in interesting locations.
Pubic hairstyle: When I make time, a neatly trimmed and shaved “landing strip.”
What do your nipples look like? My nipples are small and very pink.
What was one of the hottest moments of your life? Can I have 2? My first threesome was really hot. So was the first time my current partner tied me up and spanked me.
Any regrets? Very few. I try to learn and move forward.
Why do you think I chose you for YATBK? Hmm, maybe because I can rock the BDSM checklist?

I met a guy last week from OkCupid who already has the doctoral degree I’ll be getting in a year or so. We decided to meet in person for lunch the other day.

We had a pretty typical date, and I was really amused by the way he kept saying, “What else?” whenever he wanted to know more about me, which left the conversation open to go in whatever direction I wanted to take it. I wanted to ask him really dirty and embarrassing things – Has he ever tried anal? What kind of porn does he love, yet is embarrassed to watch? What is his creepiest sexual fantasy? Has he ever been tied up? But I refrained – he and I are loosely connected on a professional level. Not to mention this was our first face-to-face. He probably wondered why I kept trying to wipe away a sly smile.

A few days later, I watched a video of him interacting with an client. He spoke to the client in the same way he spoke to me. His voice was velvety yet precise – the kind of voice you might hear on NPR.

I couldn’t help imagining him coming over for a home health visit (we’re both in occupational therapy) to give me a sponge bath, tenderly commanding me to take my shirt off as a cool spring breeze flows through the open living room window… Then he could help me put my socks on and give me some tips for dressing.

Sex, incidentally, is an occupation.

-Belle

That’s right, they’re gone for two weeks of unfettered access to each other while I have two weeks of… a house full of cats.

Normally, I’m not the jealous type. Most people probably experience having their partner go out of town without them. I am experiencing both of my partners going to the other side of the world.

They get to enjoy coupledom and I get to enjoy solitude. The house is kind of creepy with no one else here. It’s a good thing I have plenty of things to do to occupy my time. Here’s what I did the first two days of their vacation:

Day 1:
*dropped Beau and Beautiful off at the airport before the sun came up.
*Went to work my weekend job offering therapy for kids with autism.
*Spent 9 hours in the ER with a friend of mine who developed a sudden neurological disorder.

Day 2:
*Went to the first day of my internship and worked for 8 hours.
*Got a call from my mother, telling me she does not want to loan me her truck to pick up a king-sized bed, because she doesn’t approve of my current lifestyle choice.
*Helped a friend move a bunch of furniture for the rest of the night.

Thanks for keeping me company, guys.

-Belle

A couple months ago I was reading The Virgin’s blog and he talked about getting headaches when he had an orgasm. I thought, “wtf, that’s weird!” and went about my business, which included my own carefree painless masturbation, stimulating movie nights, and eating artichokes dipped in lemon garlic butter sauce.

Well this past week, I’ve been getting headaches when I cum. It SUCKS! A sharp pain enters the right side of my head and pokes me in the eye like an ice pick, and lingers for a couple hours afterwards. Which more than cancels out the pleasure I got from my orgasm.

So now I’m afraid to cum. I’m afraid I’ll stroke out. I’m going to take his Dr. Google advice and lay off chasing firetrucks for a couple days (I can’t bring myself to say “a few days”). These coital headaches occur 4x more in men than in women. Maybe my perverted fantasies are finally causing me brain damage. Belle says I should try a different technique when building up for an orgasm - I tense up my whole body. She says I should relax. What can I say - I’m a Type A masturbator.