The Beautiful Kind

Pre-dawn, and I had just woken from an intensely sexy dream. I was lying there basking in the pleasure, feeling it in my core, when the candles on my dresser started tinkling mysteriously. They shuddered harder and harder, and then everything started shaking. My first thought was that holy shit, my dream was coming to GET ME, and my next thought was “earthquake.”

I woke sleeping Belle next to me and she sat bolt upright. Church bells peeled in the distance. As the world vibrated, the spring fevered birds kept singing outside our window.

Belle uttered, “Cooool,” and as the shaking subsided, she collapsed on top of me and held me, reigning in my pounding heart. I inhaled her night sweat. The candles tinkled a little longer after it stopped shaking, sounding like little soldiers marching off. We drifted back to sleep.

…

When I got up this morning I saw that only ONE of my Pez dispensers had fallen. It was Miss Piggy who took the plunge.

What about you? Did you feel it?

Name: Isaac, 28, Male
Do you want to fuck men, women, or both: mainly women, but open to both.
Last time you got laid: about a month ago. Here’s my situation, I was fucking my ex-girlfriend well beyond the end, if you know what i mean. We had a beautiful baby girl 2 years ago, and we stayed together for about the first year and a half for the baby’s benefit. so we would fuck. the last time was about a month ago, but i’ve been trying to get with girls for over 6 months. a couple failed attempts.
Where do you live? saint louis , MO
Your living arrangement: I live in an apartment alone.
Job situation: i work for myself, i make fancy chocolates and other pastry chef duties, but i do this in my own home. I have a “chocolate room” in my apartment. I cater to a very discerning, underground crowd. I make good money, i love what i do.
Fashion sense: Baggy clothing, custom made cargo pants and shorts, i like to wear t-shirts, and on the other side of the coin i wear polos quite a bit…short sleeve shirts with collars. hemp pants sometimes.
Grooming habits: i bathe every other day on average, i smell good when i need to. Yes, i wear a cologne, smells nice.
Do you floss regularly? yep, with those little kevlar flosser things.
Do you drink? off and on….socially.
Do you smoke? not cigarettes.
Addicted to anything? No
Hobbies: partying, making chocolate for people, hand drums, photography, watching movies.
Sports: i hate sports. I played football in high school, but i don’t really like anything thats on TV, which includes sports. sports are for playing. I’m sure when my daughter is a little older i will be playing stuff with her.
Do you exercise regularly? when the weather allows.
Places you hang out: playground with my daughter, and basically one or 2 bars late at night. But last few months i haven’t really gone out much.
How many people (of your target gender) do you currently know that you would like to fuck? What are the obstacles with each one (why aren’t you fucking them?) about 8 . I think the main problem with most of them is that i am selfish, and i tend to be an introvert so i don’t talk to them very often, so they don’t think i want to be around them much. I feel if i devoted more time, that would be felt as more care. I’m not really sure if any of the girls i know, and like even are even interested in me.
What do you like to eat? usually homemade quality foods. or nice restaurants. i’m very loose on the food subject, i like all experiences in that realm.
Do you frequent strip clubs? only been 3 times. but i love the beautiful women everywhere !! ! its a novel experience for me.
What kind of porn do you like? young teen, amatuer stuff, giant black guys on small girls.
What’s your fetish? What turns you on? i’ve always wanted a girl who sticks stuff in my butt, but i’ve never talked about it. i like woman who know what they want. i’m tired of girls who just sort of lay there.
Are you dom or sub (do you like taking charge or following orders? If rope was involved in sex, would you be tied up or do the tying?) i like both, it depends on the moment and the person. i do like the idea of a woman dominating me though, because i myself am so dominant.
On a scale of 1-10, how would you rate yourself when it comes to physical appearance (1 is hideous, 10 is model)? 5
Using that same scale, what’s the minimum number you expect your partner to be? 3.5 love can overcome quite a bit.
One word to describe your voice: comforting
Car you drive or means of transportation: i am in between cars, i will be buying one shortly. this is a MAJOR factor in my social life. as i am very independent, and i don’t like cruising with friends all night doing the group thing.
Financial situation (broke, paying the bills, flush, loaded): that fluctuates quite a bit. it goes from Baller to payin the bills back to baller. back and forth
Your thoughts on breeding (have kids, wants kids, would you date someone who had kids?) i have a beautiful 2 year old daughter. love kids. its all good. breeding is fun.
Religion: I believe in spirituality as opposed to religion. i am VERY open minded.
Charity you would give money to: National
Organization for the
Reform of
Marijuana
Laws
NORML.
Political affiliation: I don’t believe in politics, my head is not up my ass.
Music you listen to: literally everything. heavy on the hip hop, electronica, folk, and classical.
Movies you have loved: A very very long list, i will list just the ones that had a profound effect on me: Last of the Mohicans, Pulp Fiction, Magnolia, The Devil and Daniel Johnston, Easy Rider, the list is way too long. way, too, long.
Do you like to read? If so, what? Sometimes i read books on Zen, different types of philosophical shit you’d find in the SELF HELP SECTION. but generally i like cook books and other instructional technical books.
How often do you watch television?I hate tv, i watch a dvd on average once a night.
Restaurant you like: Mangia Italiano, and The King and i
Favorite holiday: 4/20
Person you respect/admire: Albert Einstein………Timothy Leary………Terance McKenna……………….My mom
Past relationship history: 2 serious relationships….first one was my high school girlfriend, that was from when i was 16-19…..second with my baby’s momma was from 22-28. i was deeply in love both times, but only for like the first half of each relationship.
Any physical issues: I am clearly overweight, though i am sexy…..i am just a huge guy…..not everyone digs on guys who are 6′5″ and over 325, very strong 325. i carry my weight very well, and i’m considered a pimp by my friends, but i just don’t have the follow through skills that i would like to have.
Weird habit: not really….

The Beautiful Kind’s verdict: Yep, you’re sexy. I think you’re just having a dry spell right now. I also think if someone saw you on the street, they would be completely intimidated by you. You need to find ways for women to see your soft gooey inside so that you are more approachable. Perhaps chatting them up online first and wowing them with your unconventional thinking. Your daughter is also a good prop for showing what a loverman you are.

Do you go to gay bars? Wouldn’t you be a bear-dream-come-true? I’m sure there are tons of men out there who would get off on your size and like to feel small next to you. I could also see you lording over a philosophy/metaphysical meetup group, which opens up dating possibilities.

Finally, I have a hunch you still have feelings for your babymomma - any interest in revisiting that scene?

Just LOOK at these cute panties on an even cuter Belle bottom…

I was sitting in a chair, writing a blog post.

Beau was lying on the floor in front of me wearing his robe, (it makes him look more like a Jedi than Hugh Hefner) and Belle lounged next to him. He asked her to shed her clothes and get closer to him. She stripped down, parted his robe and curled up on top of him, wrapping herself up in his robe.

But still she wasn’t close enough. I could feel the energy between them - the air was electrical. My mouth was dry. I was sitting there willing them to fuck, I wanted to see them fuck so bad, I had yet to see them fuck…

And then the phone rang. Dammit! She pulled away from their embrace.

He started talking to a colleague on the phone, and a sly smile crept over her face. She leaned back in and took his cock and started licking it, looking up at him. She put it in her mouth for the first time.

Then she beckoned me over, and I crawled over and she took his cock and held it up for me to suck. Then she surprised me by pushing my head and forcing me to suck his cock while he tried to keep a straight face. (Clearly, someone had carefully read my fetish checklist - yay for forced blow jobs!!) I pulled up and gasped and she pushed my head right back down on it. Every time I surfaced for a breath, she shoved it back in my mouth. I worked harder and longer with her hand on the back of my head. I wasn’t allowed to stop until she said so. Then she took over and started sucking his cock. I joined her, both of our tongues snaking around his straining shaft.

She forced me to suck it again solo and whispered, “Look at him.” I obeyed, looked him the eye. He was still maintaining his end of the conversation, but looked down at me frantically. He was raging hard.

Finally he got off the phone, gasping, “That was the best blow job I’ve ever had!” He always says that. We backed off and she got on her back and he worshiped her for a while. He ate her and made these amazing noises with his mouth as he devoured and licked and sucked for the longest time. (To me, cunnilingus is the ultimate in making love.) I came watching them. She finally came and gasped all aflutter, “I’m cumming!”

Then he went back to getting off and he came all over his chest.

Then she fucking blew my mind by scooping up gobs of his ropy cum and shoveling it in my mouth. Handfed me. Such a dirty girl, making me his little cum slut. She even made me lick her fingers.

She made sure I didn’t waste a drop.

Alias: Sunday
Age: 37
Relationship status: Married flirt
Sexual orientation: Bisexual, though it’s been a long time since I was last with a woman
Favorite physical feature on yourself: There isn’t much about my body I’m not in love with. Topping the list of favorites is the nape of my neck, the small of my back where my spine meets my ass and my eyes.
Beauty tip: The one I follow least: get plenty of sleep. The one I follow most: use really good moisturizer, take your makeup off every day, and go one day a week without it. The one I really buy, the ultimate beauty tip: be happy in your soul and happy in your heart and get some sun on your face every single day. The happier your soul is, the more beautiful you will feel and the more beautiful you feel the more beautiful you will be.
Charity you support: Defenders of Wildlife and the National Arbor Day Foundation. In general I give to environmental and animal related charities before those that revolve around humans though I did shave my head for [organization name removed upon request] in ’04. If this phrasing changed from “charity” to “cause” it would open the door to responses like “the human condition”, “personal empowerment”, “working the kinks out” and those are appropriate responses for me as well.
If you could take a class for fun right now, what would you take? There are a number of classes I’d like to take but _right now_ I would continue with the ballroom dancing that I had to quit last fall when my partner was injured. I passionately miss dancing.
What do you want to learn/add to what you already know? Silversmithing, auto mechanics, a deeper understanding of how to manipulate Excel spreadsheets, expanded knowledge of ballroom dancing, welding… so much more that doesn’t spring immediately to mind.
Did you have an imaginary friend growing up? I had lots of imagination and lots of imaginary interactions but I didn’t grow up with one particular Snuffalupagus.
What is one of the bravest things you have ever done? Changing my mind about who I am, what makes me tick, how I interact with others and what I’m capable of in this vast universe is by far the bravest thing I’ve done.
Special skill/talent, what are you really good at? (non-sexual): It’s funny as hell to me that of all the questions here this one makes me most uncomfortable. I have quite a few talents but no specific skill set so I’m never sure how to respond to this line of questioning. I have a flair for making unusual textures and colors look great together in art/jewelry/clothing, I’m great at throwing items together and making a tasty meal without recipes and make a mean green chile for being a white girl, I have a green thumb and distance healing comes naturally to me.
Special skill/talent, what are you really good at? (sexual): I don’t know that I have one – my fantasies, fetishes, and interests are so vast that I’ve never bothered to focus in on one particular thing and hone it, per se. Maybe that’s the answer. I’m good at enjoying myself, following my whims, expressing my desires and not ruling anything out in advance. Considering we live in an age where so many women are still closeted about sex, I think that’s powerful enough.
How old were you when you lost your virginity? I was 13. It was too early for me but damn, it felt like the right choice at the time. I took a year long sabbatical from sex after the conversation where I broke the news to my mother and she confessed her worry that I’d become a slut… and when I returned I became a slut for a while.
The last time you had sex, and with who: This morning, not quite awake yet, with my husband. I love morning sex and it was *hot* being seduced from sleep because he’s not nearly as keen on it as I am.
Tattoos/piercings: Yeah, quite a few of each. I’m addicted to the specific pain of each activity and I like recording my moods and personalities in and on my flesh. I’ve got five holes in my left ear, four in my right. Of the nine only a third of them were done professionally; I drove a needle from the front of my earlobes into a receiving potato behind it for the remaining six, all from angst-driven longing for past lovers. Both my nipples are pierced and I got my VCH piercing (longed for and feared for a decade) done less than a year ago. In no particular order my nine tattoos represent a man I love a great deal, my continuing path toward playful freedom, my playful dark side, my strong urge to fly, my belief that man and woman are one, my attachment to metamorphosis, my love of the night and a reminder to stay calm.
What type of person are you into? Quirky, honest, geeky, emotional, without drama but full of passion, inspired, comfortable with their own personality and personal beauty, weird, playful, creative, spontaneous, those who stand up for their beliefs regardless of the audience, funny.
What do you fantasize about? What turns you on? Mostly I fantasize about kissing. Remember that sensation of a make-out session from high school that would last for hours? That tingling that crept through your entire body as a result of pressing lips and tongues together? *Love that*. I love being grabbed from behind without anticipating it, being bitten on the neck and then pulled into a hard kiss. I’ve always wanted to go on a consumerist spree wearing nothing but a knee length leather trench coat and high boots just to see if the world around me would notice because _I_ know I’m naked underneath. Giving head, being spanked, bloodletting, having my toes sucked and the backs of my knees licked, the sound of train whistles and the smell of rain are serious turn-ons. And having sex always makes me want to have more sex because I’m turned on by being wet and turned on by being turned on.
Pubic hairstyle: Using clippers dedicated to the purpose, I shave my labia completely, shape my bikini line into a wide V, and keep the mound trimmed. The length, like so much else, depends on my mood and the season.
What do your nipples look like? My nipples have been described as “perky”, as recently as a few weeks ago in my blatant sharing of nude photos of myself and not too long ago I was told I have “great tits” by a straight female friend who is typically uncomfortable with nudity across the board. My areolas are about the size of quarters, and are browner than the pink of the nipples themselves. Because they’re pierced they’re semi-erect all the time and they’re slightly wider in diameter than the tip of a pencil eraser but almost precisely the same size and shape, once enough erasure has been done to soften the edges. Though function wasn’t part of the question I’m compelled to share that on occasion when I’m on my period I also lactate a little in spite of having never borne children… and that I love my breasts and find them to be sexual entities of their own right but my nipples are not overly sensitive, hence the drive to have them pierced.
What was one of the hottest moments of your life? Ah, I like this question. I’ve had a lot of hot moments (like the morning sex mentioned above) but the one that comes to mind first was being pushed brusquely up against my desk at work by the UPS guy. It was after hours and we’d shared months of intense flirting. Finally given the chance he grabbed my ass and kissed me roughly… yeah, that was hot indeed. I haven’t looked at those brown uniforms the same since.
Any regrets? I’ve had a few but what’s past is past. It no longer suits me to dwell on what could have been or what should be better. I’m much happier focusing on the many blessings in my life every day and making changes in and around me to manifest more of them. So I guess I regret not figuring that out a bit sooner
Why do you think I chose you for YATBK? I’m intelligent, sexy, open, honest, and working my own kinks out. Beauty AND substance… boys are really lucky to have us.

Dear Slut,
I’ve heard that by applying pressure to the prostate during an orgasm, one prevents male ejaculation, and prevents the body from returning to the pre-aroused state, thereby increasing sexual stamina. Is this true? And, if it is, would a butt plug do the job, in case one’s partner is a bit squeamish about putting her finger there?
Probing

Dear Probing,
It is definitely healthy to give your sadly neglected prostate some attention, though I’m not sure if it will prevent male ejaculation. I suppose it could trigger orgasms without ejaculate, or multiple orgasms, or loads of cum as your cock turns into a vibrating jackhammer…

We’re still in the early stages of male rectal exploration here at the TBK lair - we’ve tried a finger and two different kinds of butt plugs so far. (Oh and if a partner is squeamish about putting a finger up there, get some latex gloves, or HI, that’s what soap and water is for.) The two butt plugs didn’t do anything except induce awkwardness, and the finger was OK - we haven’t yet reached that legendary land of “prostate-focused extended orgasms.”

I asked a fag for some male butt play advice, and here is what he had to say:

- Men store more fecal matter in their colon, so it’s good to prepare accordingly. He should eat yogurt - it makes the prostate more sensitive. He should not eat meat, green veggies or a big meal 2-6 hours before penetration. Enemas are nice for prep.

- Get a prostate stimulator, like the Aneros. Just look at some of the testimonials on their site. Here is what it looks like and how it goes in (in Spanish!)

Oh geez, from the diagram I can tell that I’ve been pointing my finger in the wrong direction - I’ve been hanging out in the rectum, when I should be cozying up closer to the front, as if trying to kootchy koo the pubic bone. I’ll have to try this again soon. And I really want one of these Aneros alien probes. Off to choose the right model… I’m SO glad I have a willing guinea pig on hand. Let’s hope The Beau keeps us informed of his anal hijinks on his blog.

Yes, you’re a pervert, but what else do you want to know? Send questions to love [at] thebeautifulkind . com

It is SO hot to kiss someone while fucking someone else.

.

.

By popular request, a guest post from The Belle…

The Beau is out of town.

Beautiful is asleep, so I tiptoe to our bedroom. The mood lights are on and she is a lump under the blankets, breathing softly. The electric blanket is turned up. I slip under. She’s wearing a sweatshirt, so I pull it up and bury myself in her soft, hot flesh.

I kiss her, first on the lips, then the clavicle. I move down and breathe on her nipples. She squirms.

I take off her clothes.

Something strange happens to me when I am alone with Beautiful. It does not feel as if we are two women together. It feels as if we are woman and man. When I touch her face, her breasts, her tummy, it is with a man’s hands. When I breathe in her ear, it is a man’s deep growl.

I’ve come up with a name: Michael. Sometimes it feels as though I am watching from behind his eyes. He becomes the agent of my body. He takes over, and I embrace him.

Michael flicks her nipples with my tongue. He grabs her hair with my hands and kisses her hard. He softly brushes her nipples with each of my knuckles, like a card stuck in the spokes of a bicycle. He takes her breasts in my mouth.

Beautiful begs Michael to stop. She’s giggling so hard her breath catches in her throat. He commands her to sit on her hands, and forces them under her. He wraps my legs around her so she cannot escape.

Now we’re tickling her nipples again, this time it is my nipple ring caressing her on the right while I suck on her left. I am a monkey in this position, holding her hands back with my thighs, my hand in her hair, in a fist at the back of her neck, my other hand covering her eyes.

Michael turns on the Hitachi and brings it to the skin behind her ear. The Hitachi moves lower, down her chest. Beautiful tries to shriek, but her mouth is covered.

I bring my lips close to her ear. Michael speaks for me, “On your nipple for five seconds. Then, you can do what you want with the wand.” Our voice is low and powerful.

She tries to block the Hitachi. She says she can’t take it. She begs us to stop. We tell her she has to endure six seconds now. We’re being compassionate.

The Hitachi rolls slowly towards the target. Each time she blocks, the Hitachi moves away. Finally, it rests there, just touching.

Six seconds of writhing and muffled shrieking follow. We drop the Hitachi into her open palm. Her fingers close around it and she guides it to her pussy.

A fan-turned-friend kindly offered to cover for me. Here is her deliciousness, guest panty parade, served up for you, front and back.

Stay tuned for tomorrow’s guest post by The Belle!

Incest is not just for Literotica anymore! From the Sydney Morning Herald:

A South Australian woman has given birth to her father’s son after the couple had sex.

Mrs Deaves said soon after reuniting with her father she began to see him as a man first and her father second.

“I was looking at him, sort of going, oh, he’s not too bad. Like you might look at a man across the bar at a nightclub.”

Mr Deaves admitted that he “initially” thought having sex with his daughter was wrong.

“Emotions take over, as people no doubt realise, there are times during your life where emotions do rule the heart, it rules the head,” he said.

“I knew it was illegal, of course I knew it was illegal but you know, so what.”

I like the “after the couple had sex” part of the first sentence, in case you needed further clarification on how that works.

Here’s something I don’t think I will ever do:

1. First of all, check out the Romper Room rug.
2. OH MY GOD - Business on top, party on the bottom…
3. I don’t care for her gold necklace and buttons.
4. WHY is the woman double fisting her wearing a baggy blue shirt? Is she a dental hygienist gone bad?? I love how she looks like Doris Day.
5. …And here comes the guy with the light on his head to get a closer look.
6. Closing facial expression: priceless.

Contrast

He likes to put his mouth on mine

barely touching

just breathing on each other.

Then he switches and kisses her.

She uses more tongue,

plunges it into his mouth.

Now that The Belle is dating The Beau, who is a widower (he lost his wife of 12 years to cancer) I need to share with her the advantages of dating a widower:

1. It’s more glamorous than dating someone who is dime-a-dozen divorced.
2. You get to play the sympathy card. If a jealous ex snarls, “why are you thinking of moving in with him already?” or “what’s so great about him?” all you have to do is lower your voice and say, “His wife died. Very sad.” and that shuts ‘em up.
3. You get your pick of her stuff. It’s especially cool if she had quirky taste or the same shoe size.
4. It helps you not be so materialistic - when you see all her stuff lying around you think, “God what a waste! I’m going to give a bunch of my shit away now while I can!”
5. Your new mate is automatically sensitive, familiar with crying and hardship.
6. He is also already trained. He’ll let you decorate however you want and opens the doors for you and makes sure you don’t trip on the curb.
7. He has his priorities right - after dealing with cancer for a few years, he’s not uptight about a cell phone not working or someone scratching his car in the parking lot. He also is not interested in being the workaholic he once was.
8. He’s MORE than ready to explore his sexuality and get his freak on.
9. He appreciates the hell out of you and will never take you for granted.
10. If the wife had something like a brain tumor, she’s an easy act to follow. Since he spent years in a caregiver role, he’s positively delighted when you help him navigate in the car or remember to pack your swimsuit or can carry on an intelligent conversation.
11. You get the added value of dating him just four months after she died and shocking people.
12. You know that if you get sick, he’ll take care of you.
13. You get tons of backrubs, cuz he wishes he gave his wife more backrubs.

I loved my stay at the bed & breakfast booty… I loved that I could go in and out as much as I liked… I hope you felt as snug and comfortable as I did… xoxo

The Beau has a BFF (he comments on this blog as B-Diddle) and they are both sexy Doms. B is currently single. I’ve had a crush on him for months. Even before Belle came along I asked Beau if he minded me cuddling with B on the couch sometime. He said that would be OK, which pleased me greatly since Beau is typically territorial with his women when it comes to men. But B is like a brother to him, hence the comfort level.

We scheduled a movie night for the four of us. I’d finally get a chance to lay my hands on this beast of a man. He’s a big, strong, solid manly man. He radiates hot energy and his imposing presence is a little intimidating. I was excited for a chance to get closer to him. I wondered, “If I touch him, will it burn?”

Belle and Beau cuddled on one couch, and I sat on the other with B. We started the movie, turned out the lights, and I tentatively leaned against him. It was strange, but very nice.

The movie was Boondock Saints on Blu-Ray, which is basically gay porn except they substitute blood for sperm, talk about homoerotic, sheesh. (I’m really beginning to realize that fighting/violence is the socially acceptable way for men to fuck each other.)

As the movie played, I got more comfortable. I cuddled up in the crook of B’s arm and felt safe and sweet. His forearms were so strong, thick and hairy. I breathed in the combination of his cologne, manly scent, and whiskey. He was so warm and inviting.

We held hands, his were big and rough. I love how Belle has so many things that are like me (small wrists, smooth skin, long hair) and how Beau and B are SOO different from me, all rough and brawny and solid, god I love the contrast.

Speaking of the other B’s, partway through the movie Beau suggested Belle and I switch partners. Belle cuddled right in with B, and I was glad to check in with Beau. He was still feeling fine with everything. I enjoyed his familiar touch and smell.

After a while we switched again, and I was back in B’s arms. He stroked my hair. I noticed how he surreptitiously smelled the top of my head. At one point, my head was chest-level, and he took his big paw and gently rested it over my face, cradling it. I sighed and melted into him.

My hand crept up and I pet above his shirt collar, trying to sneak feels of his chest hair. I kept doing it, and finally he grabbed my hand and shoved it up under his shirt, and my hand rested in his manthicket. OMG if I had a dick I would have had a raging hard on right then and there. Strange how him doing that was OK, but if I had pulled the same move and put his hand up my shirt, that would have been crossing a line.

Cuddling with him felt more erotic than many of my swinging adventures. I felt so relaxed and excited at the same time. It was like being teenagers in the basement, not even allowed first base, but aching and curious. I wonder if this is how Belle and Beau felt when they first started cuddling in the early days of their courtship. Such a delicious feeling.

I love movie night.

I fucking hate this statue in my parent’s bathroom.

Alias: Ginger McFadden
Age: 24
Relationship status: In love, four years — “Life Partner” sounds extraordinarily corny… they need a new title for that, but yes, we’re lifers.
Sexual orientation: Straight
Favorite physical feature on yourself: I have a world class belly button.
Beauty tip: Olive oil and red wine - be happy.
Charity you support: I’ve donated to the animal shelters before, I have an AmStaff - otherwise I generally suck in that arena.
If you could take a class for fun right now, what would you take? Carpentry — I spend so much time in a ‘virtual’ space with work, it would be nice to have an actual finished product, or sommelier classes so I could justify my daily red wine habit.
What do you want to learn/add to what you already know? I’d love to learn how to sail, speak multiple languages and become dictator of a small third world country. Gardening would be cool too if the latter doesn’t work out.
Did you have an imaginary friend growing up? I had a whole imaginary world…
What is one of the bravest things you have ever done? I ate a 1000 year old egg in China.
Special skill/talent, what are you really good at? (non-sexual): I held all 3 point shooting records in college
Special skill/talent, what are you really good at? (sexual): The reach around ball grab — a clincher every time!
How old were you when you lost your virginity? I was 18, in Spain
The last time you had sex, and with who: About five minutes ago, with my “life partner”
Tattoos/piercings: none
What type of person are you into? The kind you can’t know in one sitting and can infinitely surprise you — a good sense of humor never hurt.
What do you fantasize about? What turns you on? Being completely and utterly dominated.
Pubic hairstyle: I have a Brazilian wax at the moment, but usually just well groomed.
What do your nipples look like? Pink with tiny nipples
What was one of the hottest moments of your life? Sex with my boyfriend after two weeks of no contact or masturbation on either part — ahhh… release!
Any regrets? None.
Why do you think I chose you for YATBK? Because I’m like a dirty swearing pirate…

:: xOxO ::

This is a good friend of mine from Columbia, MO.

Name: Stryker, 30, Male
Do you want to fuck men, women, or both: Just women
Last time you got laid: I can’t nail it down to the exact date, but I believe it was April or May.
Your living arrangement: I live alone in a 2-bedroom duplex
Job situation: I used to be an orchestral trumpet player. I just finished the prerequisites for medical school, and I am a supervisor at a supported living site for adults with developmental disabilities. I like my job, but I don’t like the micromanagement that we’re now getting from the administration.
Fashion sense: I am very diverse with wardrobe. I may wear slacks and a tie one day and shorts and a t-shirt the next day. I have three tuxes, but I also have overalls. I don’t try to dress trendy, but I try to look presentable most of the time.
Grooming habits: I shower at least once per day, and I do wear cologne.
Addicted to anything? Music
Hobbies: Classic car restoration, traveling, baking pies, reading when I have the time
Sports: I participate in triathlons, marathons, 5k races, rock/mountain climbing, and used to do drag racing. I enjoy watching all the above, in addition to Olympic sports, NCAA football, timber sports, and sometimes NCAA basketball
Do you exercise regularly? I exercise almost every day of the week.
Places you hang out: There really aren’t any good places here to hang out. There are a couple coffee shops I’ll go to for studying, or I’ll go to the library. I enjoy going to other cities to hang out, because I love to travel.
How many people (of your target gender) do you currently know that you would like to fuck? What are the obstacles with each one (why aren’t you fucking them?) I can think of about a dozen; the locals are in relationships, and the others live far from here.
What do you like to eat? I eat just about anything. If I’ve never had it, I’ll try it once to see if I like it. I cook a lot.
What’s your fetish? What turns you on? What honestly turns me on the most is knowing that I’m providing pleasure to someone else. What also is a big turn on are massages, and slow dancing to some nice orchestral music or jazz, especially if preceded by drinking wine.
Are you dom or sub (do you like taking charge or following orders? If rope was involved in sex, would
you be tied up or do the tying?) I would say I’m more dom than sub.
On a scale of 1-10, how would you rate yourself when it comes to physical appearance (1 is hideous, 10 is model)? I would rate myself around 7.
Using that same scale, what’s the minimum number you expect your partner to be? This one is hard to answer, since my 10 would be much different than anyone else’s. I would say 6, though.
One word to describe your voice: Sanguine (um, I looked it up: cheerfully optimistic, hopeful, or confident)
Car you drive or means of transportation: I drive a 2006 VW Jetta diesel; I also have a 2003 Honda Shadow motorcycle and a 1964 Chevrolet pickup. I drive the VW most of the time.
Last place you went on vacation: Albuquerque, New Mexico
Financial situation: I think I’m doing well. I make plenty to pay the bills and have enough for the occasional pleasure item and throw some where I can draw interest.
Your thoughts on breeding (have kids, wants kids, would you date someone who had kids?) I’m still undecided on this one. I would date someone with kids.
Religion: I don’t belong to any particular religion. I am probably most closely related to Catholicism, though, just because of the tradition in music.
Charity you would give money to: International Trumpet Guild
Music you listen to: I listen to everything except rap and pop country. My favorites, though, are orchestral and jazz.
Movies you have loved: Blazing Saddles, Airplane!, Office Space, Idiocracy, The Ten Commandments, A River Runs Through It
Do you like to read? If so, what? I do like to read. I love cookbooks and biographies. I also read Su Casa magazine and a few journals.
Person you respect/admire: I respect and admire many people. One who comes to mind is Adolph “Bud” Herseth. He was principal trumpet of the Chicago Symphony Orchestra for 53 years and was one of the most laid back and cool guys I’ve ever met…not to mention an amazing musician.
Past relationship history: I’ve had three pretty serious relationships. I can’t really say how many times I’ve been in love.
Any physical issues: I have braces on my teeth. They should be off in a few months.
Weird habit: I don’t think it’s all that weird, but many of my peers tell me it’s weird that I’m an early riser. I get up between 5:00 and 5:30 a.m.

The Beautiful Kind’s verdict: Well Stryker, if someone read this who didn’t know you, they would think you were a snootypants instead of being a small-town, down-to-earth boy at heart. I think you might intimidate or put off the average girl (except for your taste in movies). You need to tone it down if you’re hanging out in Columbia; otherwise, move to New York, Chicago or Boston where women can better relate to and appreciate your snooty ways. I also know that right now you are way too immersed in school to find time to date.

Since I am not the average girl and am a bit of a snob myself, it should be mentioned that I was able to see past your pretentious facade and we dated briefly until I moved out of town. A few things you don’t mention in this questionnaire is that you give an amazing massage, are a hopeless romantic (the dude’s apartment is clean and has candles!), and are fucking awesome at eating pussy.

You should put on one of those tuxes of yours and rent yourself out as a gigolo.