Why Am I Not Getting Laid? Isaac
Filed under: Why Am I Not Getting Laid? - April 18, 2008 @ 6:00 amName: Isaac, 28, Male
Do you want to fuck men, women, or both: mainly women, but open to both.
Last time you got laid: about a month ago. Here’s my situation, I was fucking my ex-girlfriend well beyond the end, if you know what i mean. We had a beautiful baby girl 2 years ago, and we stayed together for about the first year and a half for the baby’s benefit. so we would fuck. the last time was about a month ago, but i’ve been trying to get with girls for over 6 months. a couple failed attempts.
Where do you live? saint louis , MO
Your living arrangement: I live in an apartment alone.
Job situation: i work for myself, i make fancy chocolates and other pastry chef duties, but i do this in my own home. I have a “chocolate room” in my apartment. I cater to a very discerning, underground crowd. I make good money, i love what i do.
Fashion sense: Baggy clothing, custom made cargo pants and shorts, i like to wear t-shirts, and on the other side of the coin i wear polos quite a bit…short sleeve shirts with collars. hemp pants sometimes.
Grooming habits: i bathe every other day on average, i smell good when i need to. Yes, i wear a cologne, smells nice.
Do you floss regularly? yep, with those little kevlar flosser things.
Do you drink? off and on….socially.
Do you smoke? not cigarettes.
Addicted to anything? No
Hobbies: partying, making chocolate for people, hand drums, photography, watching movies.
Sports: i hate sports. I played football in high school, but i don’t really like anything thats on TV, which includes sports. sports are for playing. I’m sure when my daughter is a little older i will be playing stuff with her.
Do you exercise regularly? when the weather allows.
Places you hang out: playground with my daughter, and basically one or 2 bars late at night. But last few months i haven’t really gone out much.
How many people (of your target gender) do you currently know that you would like to fuck? What are the obstacles with each one (why aren’t you fucking them?) about 8 . I think the main problem with most of them is that i am selfish, and i tend to be an introvert so i don’t talk to them very often, so they don’t think i want to be around them much. I feel if i devoted more time, that would be felt as more care. I’m not really sure if any of the girls i know, and like even are even interested in me.
What do you like to eat? usually homemade quality foods. or nice restaurants. i’m very loose on the food subject, i like all experiences in that realm.
Do you frequent strip clubs? only been 3 times. but i love the beautiful women everywhere !! ! its a novel experience for me.
What kind of porn do you like? young teen, amatuer stuff, giant black guys on small girls.
What’s your fetish? What turns you on? i’ve always wanted a girl who sticks stuff in my butt, but i’ve never talked about it. i like woman who know what they want. i’m tired of girls who just sort of lay there.
Are you dom or sub (do you like taking charge or following orders? If rope was involved in sex, would you be tied up or do the tying?) i like both, it depends on the moment and the person. i do like the idea of a woman dominating me though, because i myself am so dominant.
On a scale of 1-10, how would you rate yourself when it comes to physical appearance (1 is hideous, 10 is model)? 5
Using that same scale, what’s the minimum number you expect your partner to be? 3.5 love can overcome quite a bit.
One word to describe your voice: comforting
Car you drive or means of transportation: i am in between cars, i will be buying one shortly. this is a MAJOR factor in my social life. as i am very independent, and i don’t like cruising with friends all night doing the group thing.
Financial situation (broke, paying the bills, flush, loaded): that fluctuates quite a bit. it goes from Baller to payin the bills back to baller. back and forth
Your thoughts on breeding (have kids, wants kids, would you date someone who had kids?) i have a beautiful 2 year old daughter. love kids. its all good. breeding is fun.
Religion: I believe in spirituality as opposed to religion. i am VERY open minded.
Charity you would give money to: National
Organization for the
Reform of
Marijuana
Laws
NORML.
Political affiliation: I don’t believe in politics, my head is not up my ass.
Music you listen to: literally everything. heavy on the hip hop, electronica, folk, and classical.
Movies you have loved: A very very long list, i will list just the ones that had a profound effect on me: Last of the Mohicans, Pulp Fiction, Magnolia, The Devil and Daniel Johnston, Easy Rider, the list is way too long. way, too, long.
Do you like to read? If so, what? Sometimes i read books on Zen, different types of philosophical shit you’d find in the SELF HELP SECTION. but generally i like cook books and other instructional technical books.
How often do you watch television?I hate tv, i watch a dvd on average once a night.
Restaurant you like: Mangia Italiano, and The King and i
Favorite holiday: 4/20
Person you respect/admire: Albert Einstein………Timothy Leary………Terance McKenna……………….My mom
Past relationship history: 2 serious relationships….first one was my high school girlfriend, that was from when i was 16-19…..second with my baby’s momma was from 22-28. i was deeply in love both times, but only for like the first half of each relationship.
Any physical issues: I am clearly overweight, though i am sexy…..i am just a huge guy…..not everyone digs on guys who are 6′5″ and over 325, very strong 325. i carry my weight very well, and i’m considered a pimp by my friends, but i just don’t have the follow through skills that i would like to have.
Weird habit: not really….
The Beautiful Kind’s verdict: Yep, you’re sexy. I think you’re just having a dry spell right now. I also think if someone saw you on the street, they would be completely intimidated by you. You need to find ways for women to see your soft gooey inside so that you are more approachable. Perhaps chatting them up online first and wowing them with your unconventional thinking. Your daughter is also a good prop for showing what a loverman you are.
Do you go to gay bars? Wouldn’t you be a bear-dream-come-true? I’m sure there are tons of men out there who would get off on your size and like to feel small next to you. I could also see you lording over a philosophy/metaphysical meetup group, which opens up dating possibilities.
Finally, I have a hunch you still have feelings for your babymomma - any interest in revisiting that scene?
April 18th, 2008 at 6:42 am
Hey Isaac, would you be open to exchanging email addresses? TBK can give you mine if you want. Don’t bears like twinks?
April 18th, 2008 at 8:41 am
My advice… You are a chocolatier and chocolate is an aphrodisiac, woo women with your craft. I am a baker by trade and sent a death by chocolate cake to a friends girls night party four months ago, I am still getting hugs and kisses for a cake I baked four months ago.
April 18th, 2008 at 8:43 am
I don’t have any advice I can give, but I’d really, really like to know what you mean by “chocolate room” and discerning customers because I’m a local who worships the Black Goddess Coca.
April 18th, 2008 at 9:21 am
TBK - Thank you, I like feeling sexy. Yes, i have recently felt that my baby momma and i need to be together. You are right, we are still in love, we are just ungodly bored. I feel that i tend to blame my own personal unhappiness on my relationship. meaning my life sucks, and i act like my woman causes it all, which is not true. I am going to give it another try, and as much as i’d like to do it for my daughter, i can’t do it for that reason. I feel my daughter would want me to do what i feel. not do something that would make me and her ultimately unhappy. So yes, i am gonna get back with my baby momma.
DOR- yes, bears do like twinks,
Paulie - yes, making things with chocolate is quite the pimping material. i make girls boxes of chocolate, and other things. i should probably do it MORE!! thanks.
CapnMarrrrk - I have a room in my place that has 2 big stainless steel kitchen tables in it, full of my chocolate making gear, melters, bowls, supplies, molds, etc. The steel tends to look really erotic to people, but its cold on your ass if you try to fuck on it. Fucking on stainless steel is perfect for the summer.
One of my stainless tables is that perfect height!!!!
And my discerning customers are VERY discerning. They like HIGHly custom chocolate, chocolate that helps improve your day in some way. I make any type of chocolate you want. I tend to put herbal extracts into my chocolate, I blend herbalism, alchemy, and pastry chef skills all in ONE ! ! !
also, Coca is the plant from which cocaine comes from.
Cocoa is the tree from which chocolate is derived. one little O makes all the difference.
April 18th, 2008 at 9:41 am
Ha, Lion you are too funny! Yeah, I’ve been been known to take brownie making to new HeIghts!!
April 18th, 2008 at 11:13 am
TheLion
I seeeeeeeeee. Coca…been a long time…Coco…mmmmmmm, Coffee…..mmmmmmmmm. Coco+Coffee MMMMMMMMMMMMMM
Good Luck w/ Baby mamma
April 18th, 2008 at 11:45 am
how bout coca,cocoa,coffee,cream….MMmmmmmm….
April 18th, 2008 at 12:07 pm
TheLion says: “one little O makes all the difference.”
Yeah, it sure does, and not just where chocolate is concerned
Work this shit out… _I’d_ do you and I hate to see a lay-worthy guy not getting his needs met.
April 18th, 2008 at 4:57 pm
Hey Lion, ever think about trading those special treats for a little action. Im sure there are some ladies out there who would be willing for some of those high end chocolates! Sure it would cut into the bottom line a bit but sometimes sacrifices must be made.
April 18th, 2008 at 5:02 pm
i think this was one of the better ones…you could “feel” the thoughtfulness of his responses…good luck to ya!
cg
April 18th, 2008 at 5:05 pm
Dor - You are married and still interested in sword fighting with a bear????
April 18th, 2008 at 5:16 pm
Dor- If i could find a woman(or cute guy) who wanted to trade for chocolate(expensive exotic inebriating chocolate), i would definately make that a regular love making session, and she would get the awesomest box of chocolate every time.
Sunday- Thanks, you’re funny…I am glad I am lay worthy, I always thought I was, this is fun putting it all out in the open. I’m eccentric and complex, seems to daunt a lot of women, along with the fact that i’m a big kinda scary guy. Smart women can tell almost immediately that I am harmless.
curiousgirl- very perceptive of you, as I get older I have been working on expressing my inner feelings better in words. I feel like a translator to my soul.
April 18th, 2008 at 6:12 pm
Hey Lion, I misread the end of TBK’s verdict above and thought she was saying that a bear might be interested in you. I now see she was saying a twink would be, sorry for the mix up. Im not interested in “sword fighting” with anyone but am much more interested in exchanging recipes/baking ideas. Although Im an amateur I still like making similar treats on occasion and would love to get some pointers. I realize this has little to do with getting you laid but expanding your social circle a bit couldn’t hurt. I cant think of any chicks off the top of my head that would be right for you and the only twink I know is WAY taken but if I think of any I let you know.
April 18th, 2008 at 10:38 pm
Hell, I read this entry and thought it would be cool to meet Isaac. Do you start with raw cocoa beans and crush them and make your own blend or do you buy powdered cocoa? Do you make a cocoa, cayenne, cinnamon bite?
I am highjacking this entry and taking it into foodie land, but it’s not that far of a trip since food and sex are so linked.
April 19th, 2008 at 3:18 am
paulie - no, i don’t start with raw cocoa beans, that would require MASSIVE amount of effort and 20k worth of equipment. I simply purchase fancy belgian chocolate and i mix in delicious fruits,nuts, etc…
i have used cayenne before. I just got done making a batch of white chocolate bars with chopped mangos and toasted coconut, with an ambient background hint of allspice. its a jamaican bar, in respect of the holiday this weekend 4/20 ! ! ! ! !
April 19th, 2008 at 6:02 am
I must admit Lion, you have ELEVATED this type of candy making to a whole new level. Most people don’t put nearly that much effort into it, you know its all about the “main ingredient” for most people.
April 19th, 2008 at 12:16 pm
The special ingredient is Luv.