The Advantages of Dating a Widower
Filed under: Heebie Jeebies - April 11, 2008 @ 6:00 amNow that The Belle is dating The Beau, who is a widower (he lost his wife of 12 years to cancer) I need to share with her the advantages of dating a widower:
1. It’s more glamorous than dating someone who is dime-a-dozen divorced.
2. You get to play the sympathy card. If a jealous ex snarls, “why are you thinking of moving in with him already?” or “what’s so great about him?” all you have to do is lower your voice and say, “His wife died. Very sad.” and that shuts ‘em up.
3. You get your pick of her stuff. It’s especially cool if she had quirky taste or the same shoe size.
4. It helps you not be so materialistic - when you see all her stuff lying around you think, “God what a waste! I’m going to give a bunch of my shit away now while I can!”
5. Your new mate is automatically sensitive, familiar with crying and hardship.
6. He is also already trained. He’ll let you decorate however you want and opens the doors for you and makes sure you don’t trip on the curb.
7. He has his priorities right - after dealing with cancer for a few years, he’s not uptight about a cell phone not working or someone scratching his car in the parking lot. He also is not interested in being the workaholic he once was.
8. He’s MORE than ready to explore his sexuality and get his freak on.
9. He appreciates the hell out of you and will never take you for granted.
10. If the wife had something like a brain tumor, she’s an easy act to follow. Since he spent years in a caregiver role, he’s positively delighted when you help him navigate in the car or remember to pack your swimsuit or can carry on an intelligent conversation.
11. You get the added value of dating him just four months after she died and shocking people.
12. You know that if you get sick, he’ll take care of you.
13. You get tons of backrubs, cuz he wishes he gave his wife more backrubs.
April 11th, 2008 at 9:39 am
Yeah, that whole scenario makes me sad to think about. I’m glad you’re treating him well.
April 11th, 2008 at 11:08 am
I would also imagine that said widower might have some great and caring friends that want nothing more than to help him recover and become healthy again(and get his Freak On). You might also get a chance to know them. After all, you must have been given the greenlight of approval from them. Is that right TBK or am I way off the mark here?
April 11th, 2008 at 12:18 pm
Damn. That’s an experience (widower) I hope to never have to live through. With karma points like that, Beau *deserves* to have Belle and TBK clutching at him like horny bonobo chimps.
Well played, fine sir!
April 11th, 2008 at 10:17 pm
i am sure it helps that the appreciation for life is so great…every experience is not meant to be passed up for a later date…life is infinitely more precious and every moment is meant to be savored…cool post…
April 12th, 2008 at 8:15 am
You described my situation to a tee….although I’m the widower in this my case. Lost my wife to brain cancer last summer. I’ve had more women come onto me the I could of ever imagined….but beware of the ups and downs of grieving. It can often be a long process…and some women aren’t up for the challenge.
April 13th, 2008 at 10:55 am
All my best to you RS. If you haven’t already done so, you might want to check out ywbb.org. If anyone knows a young (under 50, but older is not a problem either) widow(er), please point them to this site. It helped me a lot.