The Beau and The Belle Make Love
Filed under: Eros - April 7, 2008 @ 6:00 am
I asked The Belle if she minded if I was there for her and The Beau’s first kiss. I was so glad she didn’t mind, but I had a feeling she would prefer for her first time making love with him to be a one-on-one experience. I know I would. Heck, she’s only had three male and one female (ME!!!) sex partners in her life, and all of a sudden she’s throwing herself into a threesome situation involving another woman. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. She’s brave.
It turns out she did want her first time with him to be one-on-one, and that was OK with me.
Or was it?
We arranged for me to go away on a gal pal weekend with a girlfriend of mine so Belle & Beau could have a bit of a honeymoon - spend the weekend in bed bonding and exploring each other.
I had a fabulous time with my gal pal - we stayed out in the woods in her family cabin and hiked and bonded ourselves. But the entire time I had to keep talking myself down off the anxiety ledge.
By that I mean I kept thinking about how B&B were going to have sex without me. I kept imagining him on top of her, or her on top of him, sheets tangled around their bodies, kissing and moaning, and it was a scary feeling.
WHY?! I had been with both of them that way before. I WANTED them to be that way. And I wanted them to be happy. And why the hang up about sex/penetration?? They had already connected in much deeper and more important ways - mental, emotional… SIGH, it’s all about the sex for me.
Each time I started to feel anxious about the scenario, I had to force myself to think positively, to embrace the experience, to accept it.
I did this about thirty times over the course of two days.
By the time I drove home to rejoin them, I was pretty worked up. As in, panicking. I knew when I got home I would find them lying around warm and naked in bed.
Sure enough, that was the case. They beckoned me to join them, and I did, but I was nervous and agitated. I was SO not ready to melt into their sex pot.
Together they sweetly talked me down off the jealousy ledge and together they got me off. And the three of us reunited again.
As for what they did that weekend, I wouldn’t know - I wasn’t there. Let’s hope they leave comments.
April 7th, 2008 at 8:13 am
I’ve got to say that I am really glad you posted this. It makes you seem more like a real person and less like the wild, unfettered, unattainable sex goddess that I had imagined you to be.
And I’m glad it had a happy ending. If I had left my man (I jealously emphasize the MY) to make love (not just have sex, make love) to another woman–I would have thrown up with angst and jealousy w/n the first hour and drug her out of the house by her dirty slut hair.
April 7th, 2008 at 8:24 am
Aww thanks! I could easily post only the hot and flattering stuff about the triad relationship, but I made up my mind to post the good, the bad, and the ugly, so people can get a complete picture.
April 7th, 2008 at 8:52 am
You say that Belle is “Brave”, and rightfully so, but in truth it is you who have been “Brave” and worked yourself thru an issue that many, including myself at times, have had a hard time dealing with. It takes courage to lead the livestyle that we do. And darling you have it and some to spare. Please keep up the good work, you are helping my own Rockabillygirl and I to realize that we can find our third again and have happiness and true love.
April 7th, 2008 at 3:46 pm
I too am glad you posted this. I agree with much of what S said. That must be scary as hell for all involved [though it does seem like the fear is mostly in you and Belle], and its nice to see that you really are all regular people with regular emotions. I commend you all for your bravery and honesty with each other. *claps*
April 7th, 2008 at 4:44 pm
Alice,
Your comment is making me think of another blog post idea - exploring why The Belle and I feel fear/anxiety as we figure this out, and why The Beau doesn’t.
The short answer is we’re both trying to find our place and address our needs, whereas Beau KNOWS his place and is all about addressing our needs, which don’t conflict with his at all. He’s solid and secure in this new dynamic.
That said, it’s not all roses for him. Wait’ll you get a load of the upcoming post titled “Curses, Foiled Again!”
April 7th, 2008 at 4:51 pm
I knew it!! Although I predicted the Beau would have a post titled “What The Hell Have I Got Myself Into!”
April 7th, 2008 at 4:59 pm
Dor, that post is on its way.
…Not that I’m really complaining…
April 7th, 2008 at 5:01 pm
Yep, you called it. Though technically, he probably should have said that the day he met me in person (I showed him this blog first in order to scare him off, but he wasn’t deterred.)
The faithful, monogamous widower who ends up with a polyamorous bisexual whore - now if that isn’t a good book topic/twisted love story, I don’t know what is.
April 7th, 2008 at 7:07 pm
your honesty is incredible. my husband and i exploring the possibility of trying to bring another woman into our lives. it’s nice to hear the good and the bad. i too admit that i will likely feel jealous and scared. i agree with the others–you are very brave.
April 7th, 2008 at 8:12 pm
TBK,
I don’t know *how* you do it, but once again I am astounded and amused and appreciative of the photos you find to illustrate your thoughts.
Beau,
I’m guessing that “not that I’m really complaining” is the understatement of your life thus far.
April 7th, 2008 at 9:39 pm
although this is something that you all want, it is a new thing…and all new things bring a certain amount of stress…i am glad that as hard as it was for you stay away you did in fact let them be…and i am thrilled with how they welcomed you back into the fold…it’s a new relationship and, like all relationships, it will take some adjusting…
cg
April 8th, 2008 at 9:17 am
Just Some Dude ain’t Just Whistling Dixie!
April 8th, 2008 at 6:30 pm
I can relate to the stress you went through TBK. It happened to me to the first night my guy and my (now ex) girl spent the night without me. It was eye opening and frightening, stomach turning and gut wrenching… but I survived.
I’m glad your loves were so kind with you afterward. YOu should treasure that and I hope you guys always treat each other so carefully and lovingly. What a wonderful gift you all gave each other!
April 9th, 2008 at 7:23 am
I will agree with several of the posts, first about seeing a more human side and not the unreachable goddess side of TBK.
I have had those very same feelings when Rockabilly Boy and our last girlfriend would spend time together when I would have to work or otherwise be out of town.
It is something to work through and I’m glad the three of you did.
August 24th, 2008 at 4:03 pm
How well I know that feeling of being out of the loop for a few days and just wondering all that there is to wonder. It’s not often I get anxious, but that was a moment for sure!
August 24th, 2008 at 4:10 pm
Chaolost - that gives us one more thing in common… funny that Beau was a key player in both our little lifetime dramas…