Am I An Alcoholic?
Filed under: Vexed - February 28, 2008 @ 6:00 am
The other night I got wine sick. To put it bluntly, I drank so much red wine (Menage a Trois, four glasses I think) that I got completely blotto and puked. I dunno what happened - I went from frisky to gross in two hours - I was all Amy Winehouse.
So am I an alcoholic or what? My mom is a huge addict. I LOVE drinking. I crave it, I look forward to it, I revel in the ritualistic actions surrounding it. I like the buzz I get from two drinks. I feel fabulously naughty and decadent when I have a lunchtime cocktail with a mint garnish or mimosas at brunch.
I’ll drink just about anything - wine, mixed drinks, beer…I avoid shots, though. I get mean(er) on shots. My guy says I get stupid when I’m drunk, and hey - stupid ain’t sexy. He doesn’t drink, except in the summer when he’ll have the occasional gin and tonic and feel dizzy.
I took this online test to see if I was an alcoholic. I admit I was nervous to see the results, but phew, it says I’m not:
Based on Your Responses:
Your results do not suggest that a pattern of excess drinking is harming your health. However, the amount you reported consuming on at least one occasion may increase your risk for injury or other immediate consequences.Recommended Action:
Consider setting a safer personal limit for how much alcohol you consume on one occasion. For some people and in certain situations, no amount of alcohol is safe. Learn more about wise consumption limits, when it’s not safe to drink at all, and the kinds of problems that excess alcohol can cause. This information will help you make informed health decisions about alcohol.
Anyway, that was my last time getting all stupid and drunk. My drink limit from now on will be three at parties, two at happy hour. Honest. I mean I’m 35 - I’m too old for that shit. But hey, the president of the United States had his last big bender when he was 40…
What are your drinking habits?
February 28th, 2008 at 8:17 am
I hear what you are saying, in the words of Hank.. The hangovers hurt more then they used to…
I used to be a case a night beer drinker, now I have a 12 pack left over from Mardi Gras that I have’t even opened the cardboard box..
But I must admit last Halloween we were drinking Vampire Merlot and went throgh two cases in one night…
February 28th, 2008 at 8:31 am
I love red wine myself (Syrah), especially in the winter, its rich and warming. I have known many alcoholics in my life and they all explain it the same way, when they start drinking they don’t stop until they are DRUNK every time! If you get all goofy/stupid/annoying when you’ve had too much PLEASE don’t! My wife was like that when we first met and I felt like dumping her ass a few times because of it. She has since grown out of it and we drink moderately most of the time.
February 28th, 2008 at 9:21 am
One of my litmus tests is if you may think you are an alcoholic, the most likely you are. Like Dor says, it’s HOW you drink, not how often.
I was a binge drinker and drank to get buzzed/drunk. Didn’t always have blackouts, but that’s not the point.
15 years w/o a drink, and I can get just as goofy without.
February 28th, 2008 at 10:06 am
I used to live in the UK and during the summer you could easily rack up anywhere between 20 and 50 pints a week by going to the pub 3-4 days a week after work with colleagues and friends + going out in the local nightclub Fri and Sat night where a pint would typically be a quid. Somewhat less drinking in the winter, I’d say. No wonder that the UK health authorities are worried about the general influence of drinking on public health. Now I live in the pacific NW of the US where pub culture is non-existing, everybody seems to be tea-totalling it and I have had 3 pints since the end of November. No problem.
February 28th, 2008 at 12:17 pm
I actually have that same bottle of wine at my house! I can’t remember the last time I didn’t have a glass of wine with dinner, which means I have a drink(s) every night. I don’t get drunk, sometimes a little buzz, but I just can’t imagine not having a drink and relaxing after a long day. It has to be better than relaxing with a pepsi. No mixed drinks or shots, doesn’t work well with me. But wine, how I love thee.
February 28th, 2008 at 12:26 pm
I didn’t get hangover until I was 40. Just chose my parents well I guess. Now, at 51, I do drink but it is a special occasion that gets me past the second drink. I like the feeling at the time, The thick head I can do without. In the vein, I have gone from drinking martini’s to wine an beer because I drink at about the same pace and there is more fluid so I can space it out more. I also find that wine has a better flavor addition to a meal.
February 28th, 2008 at 12:39 pm
First off, I give you an A++ for using the word blotto!
As for drinking, I tend to not drink for a while then get myself totally wasted, usually at a bar, and lose control of my faculties. I tend to think I am the life of the party at this point and it is usually true, if I am drinking beer. However, if I am drinking a double vodka on the rocks with lime, watch out. I turn into a stupid asshole who likes to pick fights. I drink wine at home and get a nice fuzzy buzz from it, but I don’t drink every night.
PS: I haven’t made my sock monkey yet, but I will be sending you an email tomorrow with a photo of my fake Crocs that I modified so I can wear them and not feel like a trendy jerkoff. I think that you might even like them because what I did to them is kind of weird.
February 28th, 2008 at 9:54 pm
“Your drinking pattern appears to fall within the ranges considered safe for most people your age and gender, and your results do not suggest that alcohol is harming your health.” Good time to start =). Seriously, that online test seemed pretty serious and it would be wise to spread it.
February 29th, 2008 at 8:40 am
[...] still five degrees. When it’s that cold one can only hibernate, make soup and take “Am I An Alcoholic‘ like tests while watching [...]
February 29th, 2008 at 10:07 am
Without taking the test, I am going to guess that the reason it told you that your alcohol consumption is not affecting your health is because you told it that alcohol does not impair your relationships, work, family, or activities of daily living.
Now to take the test to find out…
March 2nd, 2008 at 8:39 pm
OMG! That is one of my all-time favorite wines - not only is the name intriguing and representative of one of my favorite pastimes, but the wine is spectacular as well. Nice taste!
March 3rd, 2008 at 1:42 am
I took that dang test and it’s a slithery lying test. It told me I’m an alcoholic, and while my mother certainly is, I am certainly not! Apparently I am in grave danger because I drink more than 85% of American adults. That’s a fair point given a particular context or two. But it’s been a looong time since I bothered to drink enough to throw up on, and I have no particular craving or need for alcohol; I can live perfectly fine without it and I am content to have one, none, or four drinks in an evening. Working in Japan, I am pretty much socially obliged to drink more than and more often than the average American.
That test is a bit too hysterical about alcohol for me to take it seriously. Especially having had an alcoholic mother. Eh.
March 3rd, 2008 at 5:13 pm
<<>>
Pussssssy.
I do enjoy my booze, but it doesn’t interfere with my work or life. I don’t get stupid drunk really very often, but that’s b/c I’ll fall asleep before I get to that point.
May 22nd, 2008 at 4:19 pm
I’m a TOTAL lightweight. My man is the drinker. I kinda like when he gets liquored up. We had a HOTT night in December. A very aggressive side of him that I didn’t know existed. I’m hot now just thinking about it… but getting him back to that point is a very slippery slope.