TBK’s Porn Clip Review: Gene Simmons
Filed under: TBKs Porn Clip Reviews - February 23, 2008 @ 1:00 pm
Give me your pornotube, redtube, fantasi…
People email me porn clips all the time - sometimes outrageous, sometimes featuring something they know I’ll really like, bless their hearts. I’m going to start reviewing them.
First up is the Gene Simmons clip that went viral this week. My original source where I watched it is here, but they have since taken it down due to jerky lawyers (lawyers are the biggest perverts, so I find them quashing our sex fun to be particularly unfair.) I’m too lazy to go hunting around trying to find a live clip on the internet, so let’s hope you can. My comments:
1. Gene pulled the classic fat guy move - he left his t-shirt on while having sex.
2. Hot corset, huge fake boobs.
3. I thought for SURE the woman he fucked was a whore, but the news says she’s a model named Elsa. She looked like she was getting paid - I hope so, because she sure as hell didn’t get anything else out of it.
4. She didn’t seem into it AT ALL. She just went through the motions, left her flip-flops on almost the entire time, and whenever he went to kiss her, she turned her face and grimaced.
5. The background music was shitty soft rock, like Richard Marx or something. How he could get hard with that playing is beyond me.
6. He wore a condom, which is good, since he needs to play it safe for his long-term partner. Is he cheating on her? Do they have an open marriage? Is she fucking other people too? I hope so.
7. I’ll bet he wished there were clips floating around of him banging three chicks at once 20-30 years ago to help him save face. This was just lame. They both moved very gingerly - she looked like she was afraid her packed tight tits would explode if she bounced too hard.
February 23rd, 2008 at 2:51 pm
1. He didn’t even remove his pants.
5. Worse, it was Foreigner’s “I wanna know what love is.”
As a boy I thought KISS was the bomb. It was my first concert in ‘76.
Gene needs to be taken out to the pasture and euthanized.
February 23rd, 2008 at 11:22 pm
From recent interviews with him and his “wife”, he says they have an open relationship. She says not at all. So it depends on who you ask.
He is an insensitive prick that thinks he is god’s gift to women. Just the way he talks to women as nothing more then a sex object annoys the hell out of me.
From what I hear from friends that watch his TV show, his daughters really have him under control at the house. Seems he doesn’t like to be out numbered by girls with brains that are not afraid to use them and the fact they are not star struck by him.
February 24th, 2008 at 7:09 am
Yeah I haven’t been a fan of his ever since the Terry Gross debacle:
A February 4, 2002 interview on the NPR radio show Fresh Air with Terry Gross, Gene Simmons said to Gross regarding his claim to have bedded more than a thousand women: “If you want to welcome me with open arms, I’m afraid you’re also going to have to welcome me with open legs.” To this Gross replied, “That’s a really obnoxious thing to say.”
Yeah he’s a sexist pig, but it’s his schtick. He’s a parody of a man.
February 24th, 2008 at 1:04 pm
Gene should get a Real Doll.
February 24th, 2008 at 2:00 pm
the husband has a word for when fat people keep their shirts on when they fuck. he says they are “porky pigging it”.
February 25th, 2008 at 8:25 am
That is so sad! It looks like a gorilla fucking a gazelle!!! It is funny how people hate on a guy like Gene, even though hes old, gross, fat and sexist, he still gets hot young ass. I wonder what they see in him, hmmm I wonder?
February 25th, 2008 at 2:53 pm
Dor
Money, fame, notoriety? Take your pick.
February 25th, 2008 at 5:33 pm
Perhaps my sarcasm was a bit too subtle.
February 26th, 2008 at 7:20 am
Talk about wearing crocs……who wears flip flops with a nice corset? Yikes.
February 26th, 2008 at 6:47 pm
Flip-flops? Seriously?
Thanks for the much-needed laugh, TBK.
February 27th, 2008 at 1:05 pm
The song is “I Want to Know What Love Is.”
He never takes his pants off, leaving them bunched
around his ankles, where his shoes remain on.
He chews gum throughout.
The bed pillows are shaped like cats.
See http://gawker.com/5003214/how-gene-simmons-sex-tape-is-the-fairytale-romance-of-our-time
February 27th, 2008 at 1:10 pm
OH YEAH I forgot about how he spits on his hand and uses that for lube.
March 1st, 2008 at 2:47 pm
gross i found this first at http://skinshare.com