Musical Instruments That Are Hot
Filed under: Eros - February 1, 2008 @ 6:00 am
- Bass guitar
- Harp
- Piano (except when Liberace is playing it)
- Vibraphone (I LOVE that the name is shortened to “vibes”)
- Viola
- Violin
- Tribal drums
- Cello
- French horn
- Harmonica (I’m tempted to fuck little ol’ black men blues players when they play this)
Instruments that are, regrettably, not hot:
- Xylophone
- Electric guitar
- Tuba
- Trumpet
- Clarinet
- Ukelele
Instrument I can’t fucking stand
- Saxophone, even if a naked woman is playing it, dammit I cringe every time I hear it. This odd hang up I developed from hearing too much shitty Kenny G elevator music is ruining jazz for me.
OK so what do you think about bagpipes? Acoutic/electric guitar? Banjo? Accordian? Hot or not? I’m not so into the guy-with-guitar thing.
February 1st, 2008 at 6:33 am
Call me a dork but I think the Xylophone is hot, my favorite Chicago experimental group Tortoise sure knows how to work that instrument. See here
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5sps7YxLeYM
February 1st, 2008 at 7:36 am
Okay, first of all, THANK YOU for listing the viola ABOVE the violin. Points to you (of course!).
Secondly, the instrument being held by the woman caressing the lining of her underwear above is actually a viola da gamba, or “leg viol,” from the viol family, a completely separate instrument from the violin family. Their thin tone and softer sound led them to become redundant as the world of music evolved. However, in the mid to late 20th century, many “musical purists” began to revisit the sounds of pre-Baroque music, and wanted to recreate it with the correct instruments. So there was a bit of a revival then.
I know- the Beau could have told this all to you, I’m sure. But then I think that music history is hot (and reads like a tawdry novel sometimes, too! Murders, sexual encounters & deviants, backstabbing, riots, etc.)
February 1st, 2008 at 7:56 am
How did the key-tar (remember those from the 80’s?) miss the “not hot” list?
February 1st, 2008 at 8:10 am
Dor, yeah I kinda thought xy = dorky, vibes = hot, but I see your point.
Also I kindof think the Didjeridu is sexy.
February 1st, 2008 at 8:46 am
The Didjeridu is awesome, psychedelic, phallic. If you like that instrument check out the jews harp, very different animal but similar sound. For me though tribal drums are the hottest of all, so goddamn trance inducing!
February 1st, 2008 at 9:19 am
Mike, Oh yeah…six strings and frets. Here’s what I saw (in order of discovery) before reading your comment: Hot girl; Nice tits; Cute face; Quirky (TBK-like) panties; Sexy skirt; and String instrument. Thanks for the confidence in my skills, but a nice pair of tits shuts down my Music knowledge every time
Dor is actually on the same page as TBK. That guy is actually playing a vibraphone in the Tortoise clip. The second tune also uses a MIDI percussion keyboard with a marimba sound! I probably wouldn’t have caught that small mistake if it had been a cute girl playing it instead of a dude–I definitely wouldn’t have caught it if it had been a topless girl.
February 1st, 2008 at 9:47 am
Oops! Shows you how well I know my instruments. Im a huge music nut but cant play a darn thing. Am I ashamed of that, you bet! Im glad I could provide a Vibraphone clip though, even if by mistake. I just picked up great re-issue of a Klause Schulze album from the 70s, its called Bodylove 2. TBK, you will drool over the cover. I think it was the second album made for a porn series back then.
http://www.amazon.com/Body-Love-2-Klaus-Schulze/dp/B000TLYTNE/ref=sr_1_5?ie=UTF8&s=music&qid=1201880608&sr=1-5
February 1st, 2008 at 9:50 am
Okay, I have to pipe up on this one. I may be a bit biased…or a lot biased, but I’d have to say the trumpet IS very sexy. Come on, it takes strong, flexible lips, fast fingers, good tongue-finger coordination, and lots of double and triple tonguing!
February 1st, 2008 at 11:14 am
The Sax turns me on, I’m not sure exactly why, but I always want to sleep with the saxophone player in a bad if there is one.
Trumpets, yeah, they’re pretty hot too.
February 1st, 2008 at 11:22 am
I can’t stand the sax either (though I still think they look sexy). Trumpets are ok if they’re playing taps. Tubas make me cringe, too.
February 1st, 2008 at 11:49 am
I’m gonna change your mind on the Uke thing: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O9mEKMz2Pvo
Miles Davis takes issue with Trumpet.
February 1st, 2008 at 12:25 pm
MMW’s Chris Wood on upright bass. When are these guys coming back to St. Louis? Its killing me!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OfPOSKbZmj8&feature=related
February 1st, 2008 at 2:12 pm
TAIKO
Thank you.
February 1st, 2008 at 3:36 pm
Yes, TBeauK- I saw things (more or less) in that order as well. But when I regained my composure, I started to think musically again. That goes to show how much of a dork I am.
Ah, well.
February 1st, 2008 at 6:38 pm
I think saxophone is pretty cool (but I’m biased because I play).
The guys in Morphine agree with me, and they have a great bassist too.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yP8QhblSkRI&feature=related
February 1st, 2008 at 8:40 pm
Bagpipes always get me in the mood to fight, dance and kiss. It’s really fun to try all three at once. Also, in the last couple years, I really got into the oboe. It’s got a real quirky sound, very emotive, dig it.
February 2nd, 2008 at 3:10 am
you should check out bad folk…hottest string player in the lou.
February 2nd, 2008 at 8:50 am
For the music lovers here who live in the St Louis area and havent yet heard of Explosions in the Sky, they will be coming to the Pageant on Sat March 29th. They are a great instrumental guitar group, theyve come a long way from some of the tiny venues Ive seen them at in the past. If groups like this know they can get a great turnout here it will really improve the music scene in St Louis. Check out this clip
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YLlYQQrHmh8
February 4th, 2008 at 9:50 pm
Well then, the good news would be that I’m currently in rehersals playing bass guitar… but because I have to perform in a very tight space the bad news would be that… it’s a miniature, ukulele-scale studio bass. It still thumps like a monster, proving once again it’s not the size of the ocean.
figleaf