The Beautiful Kind

Dear Slut,
I read on your blog about how you were downstairs while your man was upstairs tying another woman up in your bedroom. WTF? Don’t you get jealous??
- Baffled

Dear Baffled,
One of my favorite quotes goes like this: Jealousy is all the fun you think they’re having.

Some people have trouble trusting their new partner because their ex cheated on them. Some people think they can own their partner and not allow them to have friends of the opposite sex. Most people freak out at the thought of their partner sharing sex or intimacy with others.

I think this is all stupidlame, but truth is, I can relate.

I used to say I didn’t experience jealousy, but came to admit that’s not true (granted, I have a higher threshold than most people.)

At first, when The Belle entered the scene (I’d like to point out that I met The Beau on stupidmyspace and The Belle at a Meetup group), she was mainly friends with The Beau. I encouraged their friendship - I saw they had an instant connection and good chemistry. But as they got closer and their bond strengthened, I started to feel anxious. One day they took a road trip to a park to go hiking, and it was that day I became officially jealous. I was worried I would lose The Beau to her, and that they would never come back.

It was irrational, but based on something that happened to me a year ago - I was in an intense, open relationship with a guy. I introduced him to a friend of mine and encouraged them to date, and one night he up and ran off with her and I never saw him again. It was a shocker all right. It turned out he faked his way through our relationship and we weren’t at all right for each other, but it took me getting dumped to realize that. Four months later, I met The Beau.

“Look, I’m not that phony idiot,” The Beau told me when I explained why I was feeling freaked out. But I wasn’t wholly convinced.

How was I able to overcome my jealousy and work my way through it? By sitting down with The Belle and having a heart-to-heart. I opened myself up to her and became vulnerable. I told her how I was feeling, even though it embarrassed me. I felt weak and insecure for having these feelings.

You always hear that open communication is the key to making relationships work. It’s a tired cliche, but let me take it a step further and explain what that means: IT MEANS TALKING ABOUT THE EMBARRASSING THINGS YOU DON’T WANT TO TALK ABOUT. IT MEANS TAKING A RISK. IT CAN EVEN MEAN SAYING THINGS YOU THINK THE OTHER PERSON DOESN’T WANT TO HEAR.

I took a risk, and it paid off. The Belle handled what I had to say with grace and aplomb. I told her I wanted to get to know her better and work on a stronger connection with her. I held back for a long time, but we finally had our breakthrough.

The other day she gave me a big hug and said, “Here you thought you were going to lose him, but you ended up gaining me!”

C’mon, work the kinks OUT. Send your kinky questions to love [at] thebeautifulkind . com

First The Belle started biting on me, and now that The Beau has heard about it, he’s taken to biting me, too.

Since when did I become the designated TBK Teething Ring?!

I think I need a rabies shot.

The other night I got wine sick. To put it bluntly, I drank so much red wine (Menage a Trois, four glasses I think) that I got completely blotto and puked. I dunno what happened - I went from frisky to gross in two hours - I was all Amy Winehouse.

So am I an alcoholic or what? My mom is a huge addict. I LOVE drinking. I crave it, I look forward to it, I revel in the ritualistic actions surrounding it. I like the buzz I get from two drinks. I feel fabulously naughty and decadent when I have a lunchtime cocktail with a mint garnish or mimosas at brunch.

I’ll drink just about anything - wine, mixed drinks, beer…I avoid shots, though. I get mean(er) on shots. My guy says I get stupid when I’m drunk, and hey - stupid ain’t sexy. He doesn’t drink, except in the summer when he’ll have the occasional gin and tonic and feel dizzy.

I took this online test to see if I was an alcoholic. I admit I was nervous to see the results, but phew, it says I’m not:

Based on Your Responses:
Your results do not suggest that a pattern of excess drinking is harming your health. However, the amount you reported consuming on at least one occasion may increase your risk for injury or other immediate consequences.

Recommended Action:
Consider setting a safer personal limit for how much alcohol you consume on one occasion. For some people and in certain situations, no amount of alcohol is safe. Learn more about wise consumption limits, when it’s not safe to drink at all, and the kinds of problems that excess alcohol can cause. This information will help you make informed health decisions about alcohol.

Anyway, that was my last time getting all stupid and drunk. My drink limit from now on will be three at parties, two at happy hour. Honest. I mean I’m 35 - I’m too old for that shit. But hey, the president of the United States had his last big bender when he was 40…

What are your drinking habits?

The other day The Beau and I had such crazy sex, my contact lenses practically turned inside out.

Alias: The Belle Kind
Age: 25
Relationship status: My life partner and I have been together for 6 years (living together for 3). We’re beginning to explore poly which has thus far been highly enjoyable. I wish more people knew that love is more like the ocean than a bathtub - someone doesn’t have to get out before another person can get in.
Sexual orientation: Bisexual, but I am a “Bivirgin” in the early stages of exploring my first relationship with a woman.
Favorite physical feature on yourself: The small of my back, my shoulders, my eyes.
Beauty tip: Be yourself, and do so without shame.
Charity you support: The Rational Response Squad - not exactly a charity, they are atheist activists.
If you could take a class for fun right now, what would you take? An autobody class so I could repaint my Trans Am. I’d also love some drum lessons.
What do you want to learn/add to what you already know? I’m really into cosmology, neurology, and cognitive/behavioral sciences. If I don’t know how and why a certain facet of the human mind works on a neurological level, I feel like I am missing out. I want to learn more about why and how we have faith and belief and what has shaped patterns of faith in humans. I want to understand cosmology. All of cosmology seems so theoretical and fanciful to me and I want to see it with my own eyes. I love learning about the macro and the micro of our existence. I want to watch a surgery and learn more about human and animal pathology. I want to learn how to weld aluminum.
Did you have an imaginary friend growing up? Yes, and they were animals who could talk to me - they never had names and they were usually non-recurring.
What is one of the bravest things you have ever done? When I got my rejection letter from the only graduate medical school I applied to, I drove up there to convince them to change their minds - they did.
Special skill/talent, what are you really good at? (non-sexual): Being a badass: I drift my car, ride a motorcycle, tune and fix cars and wheelchairs, discharge firearms… but I also grow veggies, love animals, and write poetry.
Special skill/talent, what are you really good at? (sexual): Coming up with creative ways to tease my partner and knowing exactly when and where to bite.
How old were you when you lost your virginity? 15 or 16. It was kind of an accident too. That thing just slipped in there.
The last time you had sex, and with who: Four days ago, with my partner.
Tattoos/piercings: Piercings: Left ear - Helix and rook. Right ear - conch, rook/helix orbital, antitragus. Right nipple. Tattoos: Two tribal panthers on my back and shoulder.
What type of person are you into? People who are honest, blunt, thoughtful, and complex.
What do you fantasize about? Domming men and women especially holding them down and getting a little rough, having sneaky sex in small places (elevator, cars, under pool tables) , threesomes.
What turns you on? Eye contact, deep conversations, soft caresses and touch, teasing my partner (sexually), mutual adoration.
Pubic hairstyle: Right now it is all buzzed off.
What do your nipples look like? Pink pepperonis. The left one is pierced with a blue ring.
What was one of the hottest moments of your life? Last weekend I play pierced TBK, then her man held her down by the hair while I pressed her against a pool table and ran a neuro wheel all over her soft flesh. Damn.
Any regrets? I wish I had persuaded my partner into hanging out with his best friend more than he did before she passed away.
Why do you think I chose you for YATBK? I’m quirky and captivating.

After the needles were taken out, The Belle produced a sinister looking tool from her briefcase of medical instruments.

“What the fuck is that?” I asked warily.

“It’s a Wartenberg Wheel,” she said. This prickly little bastard is also known (at least in our warped little social circle) as the pinwheel, the Wehrenberg Wheel, the Nurumberg Wheel, the neuro wheel, and The Nazi Toy. My fav term for it is “people cutter,” as in “pizza cutter.” I’m pretty sure I’ve seen a plastic version of it in my daughter’s Play-Doh set.

“I don’t want any part of that!” I lied. It’s fun to be coy.

“Oh yes you do,” The Beau said with authority, and he and The Belle pinned me down forcefully to the table and had their way with me. I was no match for my two Doms - I felt like a mustang being broken - I bucked, I struggled, I probably even whinnied. The Beau grabbed me by my hair as The Belle made tiny red angry teethmarks all over my pale back and sides with the glinting tool.

I felt so lucky and alive.

Remember the post I did on play piercing back in December? (That was The Belle, btw) I have to admit when I first heard of this, my knee jerk reaction was: “Weird!” But after I looked into it, I was intrigued and found I was able to relate to a lot of the concepts behind the allure of needle play. There are plenty of BDSM parallels.

The other night we staged a play piercing party - The Belle would be giving a friend a ribbon corset. I was keenly interested to observe, but had no intention of getting pricked myself. Corset Girl took it like a champ - I was impressed. Here is the end result - it turned out beautifully.

The Belle asked if I wanted to have a go at it, and I surprised myself by readily agreeing. I told her I wanted the needles to line my shoulder blades.

The experience was medical-fetish hot - she wore a surgical mask and latex gloves, and told me to take a deep breath whenever she inserted a needle into my flesh - I liked the sensation. I felt like a bottom all right. The next day you couldn’t even tell my back had a bunch of needles in it.

But my turn on the table wasn’t over yet. Wait til you hear about the torture instrument I was introduced to after the needles came out! I’ll post about that later today.

You helped name my girlfriend, dear readers- now we need a name for our pet dildo. We want to take him out and about town, get some good photo ops. Here he is with his friend the banana.

Should we name him Jesse in honor of Jesse Jane? Or Connie? Coulter? TBK - The Big Kind? Leave your suggestion as a comment, thanks.

You know that lunar eclipse we had last week? I was having hot lesbian sex during it. If it sounds like I’m bragging, well, I AM.

I went on a date with The Belle. We had dinner and came back to the house, where we sequestered ourselves up in the bedroom and made a little lesbian love nest. We put on soft, pretty music, lit candles, turned on the electric blanket, I wore honey dust, and we explored each other’s bodies for the first time.

It started out a sweet, gentle evening, but she’s a feisty minx in the sack. She pinned me down on the bed and told me, “If you want my clothes to come off, you’re going to have to take them off yourself.”

We undressed each other, and I had trouble with her front-hook bra. I fumbled with it a while, and she helped me out. She, on the other hand, unhooked my bra with ease (note: I’ve been with lots of women, and I’m pretty sure this was her first time taking off another woman’s bra.)

At one point she donned the infamous strap on, just to try it on for size. It seemed especially ginormous on her tiny frame - hanging down between her legs, it looked like the size of one of her thighs, pretty comical. (We kept our undies on this round - I’m taking my time.)

The Beau came home from his music rehearsal and called up to us. “Can you come down here? There’s something you girls need to see.”

I called back down, “We’ re fine, thanks.” I was liking what I was seeing just fiiine. She looked so beautiful in the candlelight!

“No, really, come down here.”

Grumbling, I stopped giving her a lavender oil massage and we put on some robes and came downstairs.

The Beau led us out to the snowy back deck, pointed to the sky, and immediately we saw the lunar eclipse. It was worth the interruption.

We oohed and ahhed and went back upstairs and resumed our play. I got out the fabulous Hitachi Magic Wand, and used it on myself as she worked me over. Her hot little body pressed on me and she bit my neck. Hard. Over and over. It hurt like fuck and I cried out, but every time she let up, I felt a rush of endorphins. Little Miss She-wolf/Vampiress made me cum in a frenzy.

Then it was her turn. We lay entwined as she used the wand, and I kissed her and did my best to bite her back. I played with her breasts and thrilled at the sounds of her breathing, panting, quiet noises. I held her tight as she came.

Afterwards we cuddled and she suddenly started singing softly along to the music playing, and I was so surprised! What a wonderful way to find out the person you’re with has a beautiful singing voice - when you’re in her arms, in bed for the first time.

PS: The Belle will be featured Wednesday as this week’s YATBK.

I get so excited when something freaks me out, and I found a documentary that totally pulled this off. It’s called Guys & Dolls, and is about men who have relationships with doll women. They’re called “Real Dolls” and are billed as “the world’s finest love doll.”

Here is a link to the full documentary - I highly recommend it. You can order your own Real Doll here.

Here are the notes I took while watching it:

1. I’ll bet my guy wishes I had a removable tongue like these Real Dolls do.
2. Seems like a better deal than a mail order bride - you don’t have to deal with language barriers. Or feelings.
3. The men in this video seem to suffer from Peter Pan sydrome - they never grow up. They latch on to inanimate things since they can’t handle a real relationship. They live with their parents and collect model airplanes, never left home, preserve a dead mother’s room right down to making sure her watch is still keeping the correct time (”Psycho,” anyone?) Thank god these guys have real dolls - they can’t function in society. I’m glad they have found happiness somewhere.
4. A quote from the film: “She just lies there, but if you don’t mind that, then they’re good fun.” So is this like necrophilia, only instead of being with a dead person, you’re with a person who never was alive?
5. One guy basically says that his doll is his security blanket, that he goes out and sees attractive women and considers them unobtainable, but finds comfort in knowing that he has his doll waiting for him at home.
6. It reminds me of the book “The Collector” by John Fowles. Too bad that serial killer didn’t have a Real Doll!
7. One guy says his problem with humans is that the relationships are temporary, that he feels safer getting attached to objects. True, it’s much easier to control the things that surround you than people.
8. One guy says that the reason why he can’t be with real women is that he’s too ugly - bad skin and teeth, too skinny… um Stephen Hawking gets laid for chrissake. He even had an affair with his nurse.
9. One guy compares women to meat.
10. There is one huge advantage to having sex with a doll as one guy points out - no STDs or fear of pregnancy. And you never get lied to again. He said it’s like you’re your own God, you set the scene and don’t have to consider anyone else’s feelings or interests. Nice.
11. He suggested that before you criticize it, you should try it yourself, hanging out with and having sex with a doll. Sure, I’d try it.
12. So cool that we got to go into the doll factory and look around! The woman at the factory said that some men order pregnant real dolls, super hairy dolls, and one guy ordered an 80 year old looking doll. Man it would be way more fun to work in that factory than in say, the Build-A-Bear factory.
13. So why is this a male phenomena? Surely there are lonely immature women out there, too, right? NOTE: There is a documentary I’m still hunting down called “My Fake Baby” about women who adopt real-looking baby dolls.
14. Those dolls do have gorgeous bods, I’ll give them that!
15. One guy pretty much says that he’s a misunderstood superhero, that women just don’t appreciate his special ways.
16. I got a kick out of the guy clothes shopping for his doll - wow, they ARE life size Barbies!
17. I find it ironic that the guy who wants the more expensive wigs so that the hair looks more realistic because the “more realistic the girl is, the better the sex is” has the dolls with the fake porn star look - the hugest tits and tiniest waists.
18. Would I be with a guy who has one of these real dolls? Sure, as long as my needs were met. Would I be with a guy who had eight of these dolls stashed all over the house like one guy in the film did? Um no, that’s a little too John Wayne Gacy for me.
19. When a guy’s doll has to go away for a few weeks for repair, he says, “We will miss each other.” That is so sweet/cute - I like pretending my sock monkeys are real and that they have personalities. Only I don’t want to fuck them.
20. The doll repairmen mutters, “I’m running out of vaginas.” HAHAHAHA
21. I like how all the dolls have a hook in the back of their neck. The shots of the dolls being suspended, their feet dangling - very dead meat-like.
22. There should be a movie called “Mike and the Eight Dolls,” a remake of “Snow White and the Seven Dwarves.” Except in this one the dwarves are whores.
23. So….HOW often do you clean these gals?
24. These guys were super brave and it was very good of them to open their lives up to us see we could spy on their lives. Fabulous.

The bottom line is that they are not hurting anyone, and they are as happy as they can be given their circumstances, and that’s good. But it still blows my mind - YESSSS!

Give me your pornotube, redtube, fantasi…

People email me porn clips all the time - sometimes outrageous, sometimes featuring something they know I’ll really like, bless their hearts. I’m going to start reviewing them.

First up is the Gene Simmons clip that went viral this week. My original source where I watched it is here, but they have since taken it down due to jerky lawyers (lawyers are the biggest perverts, so I find them quashing our sex fun to be particularly unfair.) I’m too lazy to go hunting around trying to find a live clip on the internet, so let’s hope you can. My comments:

1. Gene pulled the classic fat guy move - he left his t-shirt on while having sex.
2. Hot corset, huge fake boobs.
3. I thought for SURE the woman he fucked was a whore, but the news says she’s a model named Elsa. She looked like she was getting paid - I hope so, because she sure as hell didn’t get anything else out of it.
4. She didn’t seem into it AT ALL. She just went through the motions, left her flip-flops on almost the entire time, and whenever he went to kiss her, she turned her face and grimaced.
5. The background music was shitty soft rock, like Richard Marx or something. How he could get hard with that playing is beyond me.
6. He wore a condom, which is good, since he needs to play it safe for his long-term partner. Is he cheating on her? Do they have an open marriage? Is she fucking other people too? I hope so.
7. I’ll bet he wished there were clips floating around of him banging three chicks at once 20-30 years ago to help him save face. This was just lame. They both moved very gingerly - she looked like she was afraid her packed tight tits would explode if she bounced too hard.

I was bragging to a friend about my new Girlfriend, and he said, “How old is she?”

“25.” I paused a minute, then it dawned on me what this meant. “Hey, I’m a cougar again!!”

I’ve been with my slightly older guy for the past year - he’s 40. I’ve never been a cougar with a younger woman, though, just younger dudes. This was an exciting realization!

My friend pressed, “So if you’re a cougar, what does that make your man? He’s dating her too, right?”

“More or less,” I agreed. Hmm…

I guess she’s dating a cougar AND a dirty old man.

I wonder if I can get her to dress up as a school girl for us…

“Give me head til I’m dead!”

- my mom, when she came over and saw my guy’s drum collection

My dad was supposed to go on another photo shoot with my ex-husband, but he had to recover from his dick surgery, so I got to go in his place as a guest. They are members of this meetup for models and artists. Some info:

If you are an artist (sketcher/painter/photographer) who enjoys the creative energy of other artists while working with live models, this group is a wonderful resource!

Sessions are organized by fellow artist/model ‘Red Hot’ Teya, an experienced, former professional dancer/magazine model and current figure model/personal trainer who for more than twenty-five years featured in top men’s magazines from around the world, working alongside and learning from amazing photographers, editors and publishers.

Photography and sketch sessions are held in a variety of studios, private homes, galleries or unique locations that are chosen for their creative atmospheres. The sessions are based around different themes, and there is always an interesting variety of models to work with. A small donation is collected at each session for the models.

The photo shoot took place at a vintage motorcycle museum downtown, at night after closing time. I thought it was going to be a bikini-chicks-with-bikes scene (BARF), but it turned out to be WAY better than that. I know this is going to sound very hayseed of me, but I felt very New York in this setting. I can’t believe the museum owners let this art group storm the place - they drank beer and ran around topless, and rock music blared. I saw more leather chaps that night than I did in all of 2007.

As soon as I heard someone mention that there would be a transgender model on the shoot, and I started noticing all the BOOTS (this turned out to be a surprise biggie on my fetish checklist!) I became officially excited.

My ex wasn’t sure where to start shooting, he was like a kid in a candy store. “The transgender model!” I hissed, and he obliged:

Next we hit the rockabilly station:

and then the warsy fetish couple (just look at those thigh high boots - I know, I know, you only get a glimpse of them - clearly my ex-husband doesn’t get the boot fetish):

Then we had the fabulous dirt bike chick with the spectacular undies and boots:

And then the biker couple - you can tell he’s a true Dom. This was his first modeling gig (he was ecstatic btw):

And check out this one - boob AND boot!

I was in heaven. Wouldn’t you be? Which is your fav scene? Man this meetup ROCKS.

Hi, this pic is fucking HOT.

Here’s why: the tattoos, the wetness, the fabulous hairiness, the chin stubble… of course I found this on a gay website. * grumble * They get all the good stuff.

This is a couple who has been searching in vain for the right woman to join them in the bedroom - online, in bars, you name it. What’s more, they’ve come close with a few, but each time something made it not right (like she was a mental case or into it for the wrong reasons.) They want to find the holy grail, also known as a “unicorn” in the swinging community - an available, emotionally stable, hot bi-female.

Name: Ted & Lucy, 45 and 38, male/female couple (the female of the couple filled this out)
Do you want to fuck men, women, or both: both
What are you looking for as a couple? We’ve been on a quest to find that one beautiful bi-girl. You know the one. She’s sexy, open minded, knows who she is, who she is becoming, and isn’t afraid of ‘the couple next door’.
Last time you got laid: The last time I got laid was with my husband, about 12 hours ago. Last time I got laid by a woman… I can’t remember back that far.
Fashion sense: On the weekends you’ll find me in jeans, a t-shirt, and a pair of Birks or my Chuck Taylor’s.
Do you drink? Yes. I’m a beer snob and enjoy hearty, dark beers. I also like red wine.
Addicted to anything? Does my addiction to Trader Joe’s count?
Hobbies: Listening to live music, kayaking, hiking, camping, travel, film, photography, vintage erotica (reading/observing).
Places you hang out: Eclectic bars/restaurants (this includes dive bars), in the woods, at home.
How many people (of your target gender) do you currently know that you would like to fuck? What are the obstacles with each one (why aren’t you fucking them?) Currently, there are two. Obstacle with girl one - She’s not available to join another couple. Obstacle with girl two - I’m not sure she’s into guys and because she’s a friend of ours, I’m a little worried about freaking her out by propositioning her and wouldn’t want to lose her as a friend.
What do you like to eat? Pussy. OK, I guess that’s obvious. I try to eat healthy and organic.
What kind of porn do you like? FF, FMF, MFM, MM, fetish (BDSM), vintage.
What’s your fetish? What turns you on? BDSM. I enjoy being dominated by men (and can be quite the slutty little sub), and would love an opportunity to dom another woman.
On a scale of 1-10, how would you rate yourself when it comes to physical appearance (1 is hideous, 10 is model)? 8
Using that same scale, what’s the minimum number you expect your partner to be? Honestly, a physical attraction is important, but not as important as a true connection with another human. I certainly would want someone who takes care of themselves (bathes, in reasonable shape, could keep up with me on a trail).
One word to describe your voice: Sultry.
Religion: Religious people frighten me, spiritual people inspire me.
Charity you would give money to: Leave No Trace Outdoor Ethics, Amnesty International, Habitat for Humanity
Political affiliation: Bleeding heart liberal.
Music you listen to: I listen to almost everything but if I had to choose my top 5: Americana, bluegrass, conscious hip hop, down-tempo, funk.
Movies you have loved: The Secretary, Lost in Translation, Paradise Now, The Piano Teacher, Romance, A Snake of June, Holy Smoke
Person you respect/admire: Anais Nin
Past relationship history (how many serious relationships have you had, are you divorced, how many times have you been in love): I’m currently married to my second husband and would say this is the most serious relationship of my life.
How many times have I been in love? Millions.
Weird habit: I surf CraigsList personals for pictures of cocks, ass, and pussy. I enjoy the rawness of these amateur photos.

The Beautiful Kind’s verdict: Well, I’m glad to say this WAINGL has a happy ending. I received this questionnaire over a month ago, and The Beautiful Kind played matchmaker and introduced a future YATBK to this lovely couple, and they hit it off! I got to hear all about it, too - hot stuff!! I think it’s so interesting that the male in this couple is halfway through his life, and got to sleep with two women at once for the first time. What a beautiful thing. Yes, I feel like a miracle worker. No, I doubt I can pull it off for you. My advice for couples looking for an MFF - start a sex blog. It’s a pussy magnet.

Do you know what I like about this Hollywood picture of Diablo Cody, screenwriter of Juno and former stripper?

HER SHOES. She’s not wearing stupid silver strappy flimsy stiletto high heels.

That’s right - if a bear or rapist chases her, she has a fighting chance. Proof she’s a former stripper - no one in their right mind who is forced to wear high heels for their job will ever wear them again. Stupid high heels.

Alias: Sadie
Age: 31
Relationship status: Married
Sexual orientation: Bi-sexual. I mostly like girls, but I’m married to a man. He never seemed to be bothered by my preference.
Favorite physical feature on yourself: There is this tiny little spot right between the top of my head and the bottom of my foot that is so effing adorable that I can hardly stand it… Actually, I have a hard time deciding whether I like my tits or my tiny waist in relation to my curvy hips better. I also like my teeth and the color of my eyes. Your readers are going to think I’m the most narcissistic bitch you know.
Beauty tip: Self tanner. It comes in so many colors and brands that there is one out there for everyone (read: one that won’t turn you orange or too dark). It hides scars, marks, bumps, lumps, and the fact that you live in a cold weather climate and can’t afford island vacations.
Charity you support: American Cancer Society, The Humane Society of The United States, and my local bartenders.
If you could take a class for fun right now, what would you take? Anything having to do with math or statistics. Seriously. I’m a total geek. I’m also kinda sorta looking into Doctorate programs in my area. I would like to get a Ph. D in English Literature, but I probably won’t start for another ten years.
What do you want to learn/add to what you already know? I wish I was better at keeping abreast with what is going on in the world, especially within our own political system. It unnerves me so I tend to block it out and do what I can to improve the lives of people that I have the power to help. I’m trying to save the world one person at a time, but it is happening at the expense of my global ignorance.
Did you have an imaginary friend growing up? I didn’t, but I tried. I even lied about having one because all the cool kids did.
What is one of the bravest things you have ever done? Began therapy. My brain can be a scary place.
Special skill/talent, what are you really good at? (non-sexual): Empathizing with and helping others.
Special skill/talent, what are you really good at? (sexual): I work hard to keep a strong, tight pussy. My girl could double as Chinese fingercuffs in a pinch. I’m also pretty good at blowjobs, too bad I have TMJ.
How old were you when you lost your virginity? 16, but I only had sex once and I didn’t do it again until I was 18. With my now-husband, who was only meant to be a casual sex partner at the time.
The last time you had sex, and with who: This morning, in the shower, with myself. The husband worked sixteen hours last night and I wanted to let him sleep. Plus it was so warm in the shower that I didn’t want to get out because my house is freezing. A girl can only lather, rinse, and repeat so many times before she gets bored.
Tattoos/piercings: Three piercings in each ear, one little tattoo on the side of my right thigh near my hip, and a gorgeous sailor-esque “Mother” tattoo on the back of my right calf.
What type of person are you into? I’m into confident people who have some sort of passion about something. It almost doesn’t matter what, as long as it’s there. Double points if the passion has something to do with animals, people, or the environment. And you have to smell nice. Not necessarily like product, but nice.
What do you fantasize about? What turns you on? Threesomes, foursomes, maybe-even-moresomes, light bondage, oral sex (giving, not so much receiving), and sex in public.
Pubic hairstyle: cleanly cropped, with some left intact so I don’t look pre-pubescent. Totally bald is really creepy to me. Nobody’s vagina is so pretty that we should see it hairless. Kinda like that time Geraldo Rivera shaved his moustache.
What do your nipples look like? They are about the size of fifty cent pieces, and a corally pink color. When they get hard they shrink to about the size of quarter.
What was one of the hottest moments of your life? I was in a giant orgy with beautiful people. I can’t tell you how many people were there, maybe ten? A dozen? There was so much touching and sucking and fucking and reckless abandon that it was hard to keep count.
Any regrets? Regrets of omission maybe, I tend to be lazy and miss out on some really crazy stuff.
Why do you think I chose you for YATBK? I think you were secretly curious about the girl behind the mommy blog.

My biggest sex toy - the man behind the ropes - my Daddy Dom - has his own blog now. You can find it here - he has a link in the top navigation and joins two of my other dear subjects - my daughter, and animals. Except I write all the shit on this blog, and this is going to be all him.

When he first read my site last year, he had no idea that he would someday become a part of it. In fact, as he read it (the whole damn thing, mind you) he kept thinking he hoped the woman he was with someday would be down with discussing all the crazy topics covered.

Little did he know.

He’ll be teaching us a thing or two - how to be a good man, how to be a good Dom, cowboy ethics, chess strategies, what it’s like to tame a whore, how a musician’s mind works, the weird habits of a caveman, and if we’re lucky, how to tie up women and make them your cum slut. Oh, and tits. He’ll be talking about tits a lot. And philosophy.

A friend of mine told me he has a hair fetish. I said, “Excuse me? Tell me more!” And voilà, an interview was born.

What would you call your fetish? Hair fetish? Cutting fetish? Bald fetish?
Not sure how to answer… All three are correct. Sometimes I just say Bald Women Rock, and let the rest come out later if need be.

When did you first realize this was a turn on for you? Did you have a trigger moment?
I can’t think of a trigger moment, but I have always been fascinated by hair, and haircutting, especially extreme haircuts. I hated getting haircuts as a kid, I found them violating, ha. So, this all being thirty years ago, extreme female haircuts were all the more rare, and even more fascinating to me. It made me wonder “why women don’t get their hair cut as short as some guys do? Cuz they could…” I do know that I thought about this a few years before the first Star Trek came out and Princess Ilia (R.I.P.) became the one of the first public faces of Female Baldness.

What are some of your special interests?
I really like different colors in hair. Unnatural ones like blue, green, are great. I love white hair on women… The contrasts of fake blonde with grown out roots is fun as well, similarly, for me. I have a fond memory of passing a truck where a gal inside had a platinum ponytail, with some pretty outstanding inch long or so dark roots.

Do you like all hair colors/types? Red, curly, afro? Anything special?
Pretty much all, yeah. Big afros are great. Big mops of curls rock as well. In a somewhat similar vein (maybe to me, at least) I like the look of a fried perm.

Do you like braids?
Fuckin’ A.

Do you like wigs?
Fuckin’ A.

Do you like cutting hair yourself, or watching someone else cut hair?
I like them both. The goal is for me to be involved as opposed to a spectator, but being involved means I can’t watch in the way that I could if I was indeed a spectator. And it would bother me to miss out on a particularly good vantage point!

Are you into only female hair or do you like male hair stuff too? For yourself or other men?
I like to watch women shave men’s heads. I like to watch their facial expressions. I like to have women shave my head. As a kid, though I hated having my hair cut, but I did like it when an attractive woman did. (See the French movie, “The Hairdresser’s Husband,” which shows the sensations a boy feels when he has a crush on his lady barber.)

What do you love about the act of hair cutting?
Just about everything… What goes through my head is how long it took these proteins to grow, contrasting with how quickly the hair disappears when it is cut off. I love the sounds of scissors cutting hair. I love watching hair slowly fall after it’s been cut. I love the way falling hair defies gravity just a little bit. Buzzing and/or shaving is better- all the sounds, the textures, the drastic-ness, the striptease nature of the shearing. I love the starkness and curves of the bald or shorn female head- such great curves!

Are you a hairdresser? Why the hell not? If you were, would you be hard all the time?
No, I’m not… I have given it lots of thought, but I would be afraid of
A.) Being hard all the time, as you said, or
B.) The dynamic of employment making me lose my interest in one of my favorite things.

Would you want to cum on a woman’s bald head or rub your dick on it?
I wouldn’t object!

Would you like someone to cut or shave your hair? Would you want to be bald with your female partner?
Yes, yes, and fuck yeah.

A lot of men and women think a woman with long hair is the ultimate in femininity, her crowning glory, and the thought of shaving it all off/bald woman is awful to them. What do you think about that?
I do love long hair as well, which seems contradictory to my interest in seeing it shaved, I realize! I suppose that standard wouldn’t bother me if women with short or no hair were considered as beautiful. While society is coming around pretty quickly on this, there could be a lot more acceptance.

Here I go with Britney Spears, sorry… but the moronic media shitstorm surrounding her shaving proves how much further we have to go before bald is considered a legitimate women’s hair (head?) style. Natalie Portman, Sigourney Weaver, and Demi Moore were revered for their bravery and beauty, and while they’re certainly different “artists” than Britney, it was still interesting to note the media response.

For one thing, Britney smiled throughout the entire process, yet media talked about how sad she must have been. One of the asshole cable news channels talked of her “freaky new look”- and I wrote to let them know how mean that was to women who are bald from chemo or alopecia, or yes, those that shave their heads because it looks good.

Hell, days after that, numerous radio stations had promos, giving free stuff away to women who would come in and get “the Britney look”- and women of all stripes walked in and out smiling, some of them sacrificing very long tresses in the process. Weeks after the Britney incident, the [organization name removed upon request] charities proceeded, and many women sacrificed that same crowning glory willingly- some were even sorority girls, who one would think would be the last type of woman who would shave her hair. I think over 2000 women shaved their heads for that charity last year.

I do feel that acceptance is coming around fairly quickly- not quickly enough, however. I have a friend who shaves her head, due to the extreme hair loss of her trichotillomania, and this limits the type of work she can get.

Female head shaving also brings up thoughts of chemo- and some women forgo treatment just so they don’t lose their hair. It’s sad to me that beauty standards have women taking that approach.

If a woman is getting her hair cut/shaved, do you prefer her to be freaking out about it, crying, or excited/happy about it? Is the nervousness behind getting a drastic cut part of the turn on/fun?
Yeah, I’d say the nerves involved are a part of the turn on. All of those emotions that you mentioned are enjoyable for me to watch. (Let me also say that I absolutely do not condone cutting anyone’s hair without their permission.) I do like it also when a woman is perfectly stoic while getting her hair shaved. Actually, that might be the most interesting to me- not “What will everyone think?” not “What have you done to me?!” not “WHEEEEEE!”- but just another day, just another haircut.

Photos from Bald Girlz and Haircutting Fun

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Is your fetish fascinating enough to share? Contact love [at] thebeautifulkind . com