The Beautiful Kind

The other day I got a message on myspace from some dude (the 5th one that day, that’s what you get for having ovaries on that stupid site. My friend who just joined got so skeeved out by the losers on there that she removed her profile pic and changed her “single” status to “in a relationship.” Her imaginary boyfriend is awesome, by the way.)

ANYWAY

He wrote, “We haven’t talked in a while, remember me?”

I wrote back, “No, who the hell are you?” (send)

He wrote back, “We had sex a few times.”

I wrote, “You’re going to have to be more specific.” (send)

He wrote, “You were the first girl I ever ate out, and you said I was a natural, lol.”

Oh. Right. THAT guy. (delete)

It SO reminded me of the character Cookie Guggelman Fleck in Best in Show who would draw a blank every time a guy would come up to her and say, “Cookie? Cookie Guggelman?” Then he would finally feed her a specific detail, such as he fucked her at in the back seat of a station wagon with a banana and her face would light up with recognition. Meanwhile, her husband Gerry would stand there and cringe.

A scene from the movie:
Husband Gerry Fleck: She had dozens of boyfriends.
Cookie Fleck: Hundreds.
Gerry Fleck: Hundreds?
Cookie Fleck: Yeah, hundreds.
Gerry Fleck: Well, I did not know that.

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA