My Uterus Is Haunted
Filed under: Heebie Jeebies - January 19, 2008 @ 6:22 am
Guess what?
I’m still pregnant!
Aw fuck I’m just messin’ with ya. I’m just half pregnant — sortof pregnant, if you will.
You know how I got an abortion last month? Well, I went in for my check up and I’m still testing positive on the pregnancy test. Sheesh, it’s been over a month now, you’d think the ol’ hormone well would’ve dried up by now.
I told my guy this and he said dryly, “So when is the due date?”
God I hope I don’t have half a baby in there. I have an ultrasound scheduled in a couple weeks. In the meantime, I’ll knit one baby bootie. Just in case.
January 19th, 2008 at 6:23 am
maybe you were having twins, and he missed one???
January 19th, 2008 at 6:25 am
While that’s a very intriguing possibility (and if so I would name the baby Elvis since he was the twin who lived) I did peep at the ultrasound before the procedure and confirmed there was just one embryo.
January 20th, 2008 at 12:28 pm
Just for the record. Whatever the circumstances, our baby would NOT be called Elvis.
January 21st, 2008 at 3:36 am
If you’re still pregnant, you’ll be an excellent tool for the pro-choice movement. If it’s REALLY God’s Plan for a woman to be pregnant, that little zygote fucker is going to hang on no matter what.