Be open and honest. Don't be ashamed of your inner pervert. Work the kinks OUT.

The Beautiful Kind

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“Why Does It Hurt When I Pee?”

Filed under: Eros - January 17, 2008 @ 6:00 am

vcf-foam.jpgThe other day we were having some hot morning sex and we used VCF spermicide foam for the first time (well, it was his first time, I had used it years ago). I could go on and on about how freakin’ amazing the sex was, how turned on I was, how much I wanted his cock up in me since it had been a few days, how I came three times via intercourse (usually I cum using a vibrator or through oral, and I’m lucky if I get one or two orgasms during sex) and how it kept feeling like I wanted to squirt cuz I was so opened up and turned ON, but that’s not the reason for this post.

frankzappa.jpgRight after we had sex, he said, “I’m burning down there,” and went to the bathroom and pissed. It was incredibly painful for him. Later on, I pissed, and man it fuckin’ hurt. You know what it felt like? It felt like how it feels after you’ve had a urinary catheter removed. I’ve had that experience two or three times in my life, and it fucking SUCKS. It hurts so bad cuz your urethral lining is all irritated, and I guess the spermicide irritated the hell out of our sad pee holes - stripped the sensitive tissue right raw. It hurt to pee for the rest of the day.

Anyway, wtf? Why did it freak our genitals out so bad? I don’t remember it feeling like that when I used it before. Did the stuff we use go rancid? Do you use spermicide foam with no ill effects?

Later that night, we were standing around in the kitchen and I whined, “Well fuck, now what are we going to do for birth control?”

He took a swig of juice from the carton and said, “I guess you’re going to have to eat it, cumslut.”

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

15 Comments to ““Why Does It Hurt When I Pee?””

  1. CapnMarrrrk Says:

    Yes, the vcf did indeed produce burning in my wife when we used it. We switched to spermicidal condoms.

  2. The Beau Kind Says:

    Just when I though I couldn’t love TBK any more than I do, she goes and puts a picture of Frank on her blog!

  3. Hislittleslut Says:

    CapnMarrrk: I’m pretty sure the idea behind TBK and the Beau Kind using it was to avoid using condoms. I prefer not to use condoms myself (with regular partner[s]) so I too would like to find something not involving condoms to use to prevent pregnancy… Clearly that is not the spermicidal foam. Ow.

    TBK: Such a shame, having to be a cum slut. It’s such a problem! ;) I love to swallow it, actually! (Though sometimes, honestly, I just love having my guy cum inside of me - good thing my guy is fixed (now if my other regular-ish partner[s] were fixed… J/K).

  4. CapnMarrrrk Says:

    Oh sure I understand, I’d prefer not to use them myself, though I prefer babies even less.

  5. CapnMarrrrk Says:

    Some times: http://x-f.lv/v3/pics/sc/yougottadowhatyougottado.jpg

  6. Ziztur Says:

    Time to play doctor: Spermicidal foam generally contains Nonoxynol-9. How does it work as a spermicide? Oh, it just eats away at the membrane on the head of the sperm, so the sperm suffers a quick death. It also eats away at your vaginal and urethral membranes.

    So, perhaps you could try a non Nonoxynol-9 spermicide.

  7. Manj Says:

    Blah! Condoms containing Nonoxynol-9, spermicide, actually increase the risk of HIV transmission because of the damage done to the delicate mucous membranes in vaginas/rectums. Spermicide sucks. It’s caustic as fuck and just best avoided, I think.

    How about monitoring your ovulation? And just having no (penis/vag) penetration during the few days before and after?

    And, really, a condom is much-maligned. They’re lovely things, really; they don’t mean anybody any harm! Don’t be hating on condoms. Sob.

  8. alpha2zed Says:

    Ovulation can be detected by monitoring the vaginal secretions, but not that precisely. Then there is the long journey from ovary to cervix and then the sperm can be viable for days. Even so, a ten day period of precaution still leaves three weeks a month of naked love.
    Why would you choose alligator dung over the condom? Have you tried larger calibers like trojan extra large? If your vegan self could stomach them, lambskins have superior sensitivity. There is not that insulating quality of latex. They reek of middle ages but remain the best available. I was looking forward to your overcoming your condom prejudice and joining the safety sex set. Try and sexualize it, condom as fetish. Please don’t quit. Keep trying for your daughter’s sake.

  9. moonbeam Says:

    I’m with Manj- I haven’t heard a doctor recommend spermicide in ages. It’s so 90’s!! And the foam isn’t very effective, either. If you’re going to use non-effective birth control, you may as well do natural family planning (which can be very effective if done properly).

  10. Jen Says:

    Everyone I know who’s done the temperature taking/pussy juice testing method has ended up with child.

  11. The Beautiful Kind Says:

    Yeah Jen, well you also know people who have anal sex babies, too.

  12. Jen Says:

    And she wasn’t on hormonal BC or using a condom, either. I think the moral of the story is clear.

  13. The Beautiful Kind Says:

    That’s right - sperm KILLS.

    Wait no, sperm CREATES. Which is most annoying when you don’t want it to. That’s it, I’m going lesbian.

  14. The Beau Kind Says:

    Not on my watch.

  15. moonbeam Says:

    KEY WORDS- IF DONE PROPERLY. Most people don’t have the patience/diligence/restraint for NFP. It takes several months of monitoring to establish the trends and understand one’s body before they can even begin. So it would require using condoms initially. Also, there are still about 5-10 days in there where you have to be careful.

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