The Beautiful Kind

The following was left as a comment by Floyd and is such valuable information (GENIUS!) that it deserves front and center attention. If y’all follow this advice, my WAINGL feature will be rendered obsolete with a quickness.

Here are some examples of things I’ve done when attempting to find someone for a play date. They’re similar in ways, but different in others. They work for me, but that doesn’t necessarily mean I have any idea what the hell I’m talking about or that these methods will work for you:

*Chit Chat: I fucking loathe chit chat, but it is a necessary evil. You just gotta know how to steer the conversation in a way that leads to talk about sex. They talk about movies or books, you ask their opinion of some of the more erotic mainstream films or books out there. Big bonus if they’re unfamiliar with the film or book because you get to summarize it and talk about how it may or may not arouse you.

Or better yet, you get to invite them over for a viewing in which they might get incredibly aroused themselves. The film Secretary has gotten me laid more than once and a recent loan of my Sleeping Beauty Trilogy (Anne Rice) to a female led to conversations that aroused her interests in me and now I have a new fuck buddy. If you pay attention, you can turn almost any conversation into one of a sexual nature.

*C Your Way In: A while back at a bar, Girl A was having a conversation with Girl B about how like her Ipod went like kaput and she would like have to buy another soon because like she soooo couldn’t live without it. I interrupted and asked, “Have either of you ladies ever heard of the Idildo?” I got an odd look, but eventually a reply of “The what???” followed, and led to my explaining the Idildo and a discussion of different types of music that would blow one’s mind with an Idildo. If these were the type of women that weren’t into sex toys, I would have looked a fool, but you have to take those chances. Interrupting is only rude if you have nothing interesting to say.

*Mmmm, that smell: I’m always amazed how easily people will allow you to invade their personal space to get a whiff of their perfume or cologne. DKNY “Be Delicious” and Victoria’s Secret “Secret Garden” are two scents I know by heart because both arouse the fuck out of me. If a woman is wearing one of those I’ll ask “Is that *blank* you’re wearing?” and go on to tell them how much I love that scent.

Adjectives such as delicious, arousing, yummy, enticing, stimulating and any others that give that person the impression you’re turned on by the way they smell are a big help. If you’ve got the scrote to do so you can avoid beating around the bush by simply saying something like “If I wore that stuff I wouldn’t be able to keep my hands off myself.” or “You smell so good I could lick you from head to toe!” About as frat boy cliche as it gets, but you’ve let them know you’re aroused by the way they smell. I’ve had female coworkers who were not interested in me in the least go out and buy expensive perfume simply because I went on to another female coworker about how arousing it was on them and they hoped to get similar results from males that they were interested in. From a guy viewpoint, I find it incredibly sexy and an incredible turn on when a woman asks about my cologne and goes in close to my neck area for a smell.

*Closer To Home, Closer To The Bone: I’m not a moron, but I’m not as computer savvy as I’d like to be. A few times I’ve invited people over to take a look at my laptop when it was fucked beyond my own scope of knowledge. A couple times these people were female and before the day was over, we were in bed. You’re home is your castle and you are King/Queen. You get someone on your turf and they are a bit at your mercy.

If they are there to do something you are unable to do, not only have you complimented them by trusting their knowledge in the matter, but you have given them a bit of power over you and power can be a huge turn on. Not to mention you are in your comfort zone and that comfort could give you the confidence you need to flirt with that cute guy from work whereas you are a bit too shy to do so at work. A leaky pipe, new surround sound system or other electronics, computer problems, blown fuse, heavy furniture that needs moving…all of these are perfect excuses to get the opposite sex into your home so that you can make your move.