The Beautiful Kind

Dear Slut,
Why is that women have a thing for Santa? There’s an episode of “Friends” where Monica wanted Chandler to wear a Santa costume in bed, and also there’s the movie “Bad Santa” where a girl bartender had a huge crush on the Bad Santa.
Curious Elf

Dear Elf,
When I first received this question, I thought what the hell is he talking about? I don’t know of any women who have a Santa fetish (I did meet someone at a party the other night who has a Buddhist monk fetish and I really really hope she drops me a line so I can explore that more with her and write a post about it. Also I was extremely attracted to her).

Anyway, back to Santa. I started poking around online and came across this post from Flirty Kitty. An excerpt:

I was thinking she could go to the mall in a very short skirt, a see through black top with a black bra beneath, opaque tights and sexy shoes. She could plant herself in a strategic position across from Santa outside the Winter Wonderland. Hopefully, he would notice her next to the cute woodland creatures, become overcome with desire, and discard the small child in his lap to pull her into the Santa Village.

Yes Elf, you can’t get much more fantasy than Santa. He fulfills the daddy role, the beard, the presents, he’s obviously a nice guy who’s a giver. He also breaks into your house which is totally appealing for women who are into mysterious strangers having their way with them - you know, Christmas rape. And speaking of taboo, that’s another appealing thing about it - being with someone who is good and innocent, like all the priest and nun fantasies. AND he’s a cult celebrity.

In other news, there an article was just posted about a woman who groped Santa.

“The security officer at the mall said Santa Claus has been sexually assaulted,” Michael said.

“I don’t know what the deal was. It was just bizarre,” the mall Santa told a reporter.

Obviously he doesn’t read The Beautiful Kind.

And hey, it looks like Santa has some fetishes of his own…

Sleigh bells ring, are you listening? I am. Drop me a line at love [at] thebeautifulkind . com