The Beautiful Kind

First, I looked online for Missouri abortion services and called the Planned Parenthood clinic in town to make an appointment. I was shocked to find out that, lucky me, it’s the ONLY clinic in the state still giving abortions! For instance, there used to be one in Columbia, but it was shut down due to financial pressure from the state. That means if I lived in Kansas City, I’d have to drive across the state or leave the state to get one. Also, Missouri has a 24 hour rule - you have to talk to a doctor at least 24 hours before you can get your abortion. So you have to make at least two appointments, depending on your circumstance. I could have also crossed the river to Illinois to get a same day abortion. (I found out Connecticut is one of the easiest states in which to get an abortion.)

The woman on the phone asked me which kind of abortion I wanted to have - surgical or medication. Now, medication sounds tempting, but it’s actually more complicated and less effective. You go in to the office and take the first pill, then take the next pill a few days later at home, and it can take several days for you to pass the contents of your uterus. With a surgical abortion, it takes about two minutes. I also had to listen to a recording of a male doctor tiredly reviewing both options and the risks. Oh and they told me not to bring a large bag with me to the clinic, to prevent baby bombs from getting smuggled in.

Thankfully at the clinic there were no protesters around. I’ve heard some pretty crazy things about them - a friend of mine volunteers as an escort walking women into the building. I checked in with the woman in the entrance and went through a locked door. Then I went to the front desk and grabbed a clip board and filled out paperwork. The waiting room was filled with somber, lower income women. Some had a male partner with them, but most had a female friend or relative. The woman next to me spoke Vietnamese. A couple that spoke only Russian had to return later for an interpreter. I waited and turned in my form and paid what I owed for this visit - $130.

I took a urine test and waited. Before the ultrasound, they asked if I wanted to know if there were twins. I thought that was strange. An incredibly beautiful woman wearing bright orange scrubs performed my ultrasound, sticking a probe up my vagina. I asked her why they asked if I wanted to know if there were twins. She said one time a woman who had every intention of getting an abortion found out she was carrying twins, so she opted to keep them. “Really?!” I exclaimed. “Yeah, if you can’t afford one baby, why would you keep two?” she wondered. I guess twins are extra special.

Anyway, so she picked up on the heartbeat and confirmed there was a little living thing inside me, about 7-8 weeks old. That was weird for me, I kind of figured there was just a lump in there that was making me feel like shit. So after that I went back out to the waiting room, and then got called in again for blood work. Then waited again.

I met with the doctor, who was a cool woman. I asked her various questions (such as 1. Where do rich people go to get abortions? - she didn’t know, 2. Can you just go to a doctor and get one done? - possibly, but probably not, 3. Why is there a 24 hour talk-to-a-doctor rule? - it’s meant to be a roadblock).

Then I met with a counselor, who asked if I wanted to see the ultrasound pic. I was curious, so I said sure. That was the hardest thing about the whole appointment, to see the little blurry paisley. (The 2nd hardest thing was in the waiting room they had a TV going and it was on the Montel Williams show and that red-taloned psychic crone Sylvia Browne was telling him about his past lives - he was a sailor! The 3rd hardest thing was when the nice white trash woman wearing crocs who was there with her daughter chatted me up in the waiting room.)

All that waiting and seeing people only took 2 1/2 hours total, and finally I got to the end of all the tests I had to perform in order to get the abortion. I made an appointment and went home.