The Beautiful Kind

I know there are a lot of you people out there trolling the internet who are sexually frustrated and having a hard time getting laid. Trouble is, you don’t know what it is that’s coming between you and that simultaneous orgasm with another human being.

Well, I do. And I’ll be glad to tell you. I might even offer you suggestions on how to improve your chances of getting laid. If I don’t know you personally, I’ll provide you with a handy questionnaire that will help me get a good picture of your sad and sorry state.

The rules are: 1) you have to be honest and 2) you have to be prepared to take the criticism. It might sting a bit, but you’ll be better off in the long run. Your real name or face will not appear on the website. Reader participation will be encouraged. It’ll be kind of like Queer Eye for the Straight Guy or Dr. Phil, only instead of five fags ganging up on a clueless shlub or a giant penis bossing around a yuppie couple, I’m a slut and you’re a dork.

Feeling brave? Got nothing to lose? Horny as hell? Apply and request a questionnaire by emailing love [at] thebeautifulkind . com