The Beautiful Kind

I KNEW scientists were perverts!

A recent study that took place in a strip club suggests that human females go into heat, just like other animals. Apparently we’re just too dense to be consciously aware of it. From a World Science article (god they have one of the ugliest websites, it looks positively paranormal, not scientific):

Surveying strip-club lap dancers who per­form erot­ic dances for for cash, they found that tips vary by an aver­age of 45 percent de­pend­ing on the time of the month, corre­spond­ing to the length of the ovu­la­tory cy­cle. That’s the one-month cy­cle in which a ripe egg is re­leased from the ovary, be­com­ing avail­a­ble for fertil­iza­tion.

Dur­ing peak times of the cy­cle lap dancers made $335 per five-hour shift on av­er­age, com­pared to $260 dur­ing typ­ical pe­ri­ods, the re­search­ers found. Dur­ing men­strua­t­ion, the wom­en made only $185 on av­er­age. The peak earn­ings dur­ing a cru­cial phase of the cy­cle could only lead to one con­clu­sion: fe­males were in heat, the in­ves­ti­ga­tors said.

I want to know who thought this study idea up, clever bastard. All right, so the data was collected online, not by some drooling guy in a lab coat lurking in the corner with a clipboard.

Anyway, women on the pill don’t experience a spike in earnings. I’ve been on the pill for years and recently went off it and am curious to observe how my behavior changes, as well as those around me. So far it looks like things get pretty feverish around the 23rd of each month (my period hits around the 12th). Instead of having 30 days of general horniness, I have a week of SUPER horniness. Just what I needed - my horniness concentrated. It’s like having a super power.

Ovulating = SHA-ZAM!