Amateur Night At The Ol’ Bump-n-Grind
Filed under: Eros - October 19, 2007 @ 8:56 am
For months now I’ve been wanting to check out burlesque shows in the area, but every time I find out about one, it’s on a night I have my daughter, dammit.
One of the most well-known troupes is the Alley Cat Revue, led by Lola Van Ella, and Wednesday night was their big Stag Nite performance at Off Broadway. I was kid-free and rarin’ to go - I couldn’t wait to see the pole dancing, fire eating, acrobatics, and ample shimmying, all performed by beautiful women wearing garter belts, fishnets, and corsets.
So why was I so disappointed in the evening that I took my leave at intermission? I’m still trying to figure it out. Maybe it was an off night for them, or maybe the performers were inexperienced. Lola was not the smooth M.C. I expected - she got flustered when some drunk dude in the audience heckled her during her rendition of Bernadette Peter’s whore song from Blazing Saddles. She wasn’t diva enough to keep the audience’s attention as she introduced her “girls” - recent graduates of the burlesque classes she teaches. My guy likened it to tae kwon do classes - earning the belts despite not being able to really fight, getting an “E” for effort.
Maybe it was how all the women wandered around nervously in lingerie before the show - it took some of the mystery away. Some of them were performing for the very first time in front of an audience, which some might find exciting, but to me it just screamed “amateur!” It was like watching a grade school talent show or girl scout skit night - I felt like I had accidentally stumbled into a 5th grade basement slumber party. And man o man, drag queens have ruined it for African-American female performers - they came off as campy, not sexy.
All of the women were pretty, with lots of flashing creamy ass cheeks and elaborate costumes, but they weren’t SEXY. They lacked the “It Girl” quality of Clara Bow. I was expecting a little more talent and confidence. And for the love of god, don’t ever, EVER mix clowns with burlesque. I had nightmares about that sketch.
To be fair there were a few stand-outs - you can’t go wrong with pole dancing, the acrobatic black-and-white striped duo was fantastic, and the fire eater who burned huge holes in her fishnet bodysuit was impressive, but it wasn’t worth sticking around for the whole show, even though I heard Lola had a wardrobe malfunction later on (she swears it wasn’t a publicity stunt, though in my opinion, they could use one.)
Someone needs to tell these women - OK fine, I will: You are goddesses, so act accordingly! You’re holding the key to ultimate power as you join the lofty ranks of belly dancers, strippers, and whores. Hone your seduction skills. Read up on temptresses, witches, and sirens - Anais Nin, Isadora Duncan, Josephine Baker, Mae West…a good book to get you started is Seductress: Women Who Ravished the World and Their Lost Art of Love.
We’ll see how they fare at the big City Museum 10-year-anniversary bash on October 26.
October 19th, 2007 at 11:42 am
Girls are goddesses and men steal their wind?;)
October 19th, 2007 at 12:20 pm
Any critic thatĂ‚Â walks out on the first act is not worth much salt. This WAS amateur night, the girls do it for fun not money. The warm up act were new students of Lola’s class. The second act was much better. I cannot defend the clown act, a one joke wonder, but I must say I had hoped you caught it. It was weird but got a great laugh. Maybe your clown prejudice is showing. Your man would have appreciated the jam session after the show of some fine musicians had it not gone past your bedtime.
Lola had a bad night, it was opening night for this venue and she was flustered with all the distractions. The city museum is another unfair enviroment to truly judge the show. Lola deserves much credit for organizing these events despite stingy management and fickless audiences. Had you expected some Vegas extravaganza you would have paid a much higher tariff. If you had a bar tab you would have seen how riciculously cheap it was. Burleseque comes from burla, italian for joke. These girls are not trying to exude sex but to make fun of sexiness. Doesn’t it feel odd for someone that eshews makeup, never wears heels, does not even own a feminine outfit, to besmirch the loveliness of a Michelle Mynx or any of the cast? Mirror time.
October 19th, 2007 at 1:29 pm
Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that my hillbilly man liked the washboard used in the pre-show music.
October 19th, 2007 at 2:56 pm
I have been unable to recall the Lola incident with the heckler that triggered your pan of a review. In general, she is always polite and incredibly sweet. If you were expecting a cutting sarcastic insult slug-out, that is just NOT her schtick.
Your hillbilly would have creamed for Elizabeth and her Jugs band. Next time take nap before.
October 19th, 2007 at 5:10 pm
I TOTALLY wanted to chat with that tattooed washboardist! She was as beautiful as she was talented. Very few pop music percussionists show the kind of taste and subtlety that she did. I would also love to compose/perform some music for the acrobat women–they were my favorite act. The rest of it…yawn. I never thought that I would get bored watching women take off their clothes. I agree with everything TBK said, but I would add this comment: Why would ANYONE choose to dance to a cheesy cover of Joe Cocker’s “You Can Leave your Hat On?”
October 19th, 2007 at 5:33 pm
Yeah well you know you do have to allow for the fact that these were first timers. I wasn’t there though, so I really didn’t witness how good or bad it might have been. The actual Alley Cat Revue is really very good. My favorite Alley Cat? Bella Sue DiVianti, who really couldn’t be more sexy. I was invited to shoot video of the Alley Cat rehearsals about a year ago and she was the real stand out as far as just raw sexuality goes. I almost had to go take a little break after her performance. I should have my epic–year in the making– video about the Alley Cats and Lola up on my site soon … like early next week. So if you’re interested feel free to take a look, and leave a comment if you’re so inclined.
October 20th, 2007 at 3:11 pm
Good Lord, DrBlob, if you must be scathing at least be accurate! TBK owns several feminine dresses..perhaps she is not so inclined to wear them around you??
October 21st, 2007 at 8:19 am
We were talking about goddess sexy. School girl skirts and knotted rope don’t count. Feminine was a poor choice of words and relied on context. TBK dishes scathing criticism with relish, she certainly can take a little self reflection.
October 21st, 2007 at 3:45 pm
Wow. The only accurate thing you mentioned is that these women are goddesses. Don’t make reviewing your full time career…your investigative skills are horrendous. The show was not the “Alley Cat Review,” as you stated…it was the “St. Louis Burlesque Showcase” that included members of the aformentioned. The least you could do when misdirecting insults is get the name of the show you reviewed correct.
I would like to know which 5th grade plays you have been attending, oh mistress of insults. I thought that the performance was amazing, and I am sure as a mother you know how hard it is to organize the schedule of one person, let alone the second to second movements of close to 20 people. I am guessing that the screaming of the crowd fell on deaf ears? Did you have trouble finding a seat? I did.(Thanks for freeing one up, by the way.) So it seems you are one of the very few who felt this way. You are certainly entitled to your opinion. However, I suggest that before your next blog you learn to take notes so that you at least report on the correct people, and maybe even crush your post-pregnant body into a corset and hang blindfolded from a pole or dangle from some silks. THEN, my friend, I would give some kind of merit to your reports. At the least, perhaps sitting through a full performance might help.
Please remember that reading one book between breast feedings does not make you an expert. I’m sure it makes you feel better about yourself though…and from what I read, you like pretending that you have credibility. You keep that up. Maybe it’ll make up for the fact that you have no chance of being in the spotlight you tried to take from these talented women. Take care.
October 21st, 2007 at 3:50 pm
Gloria Steinem thinks you’re a bitch.
October 21st, 2007 at 6:55 pm
Hi. I’m one of the stripey acrobats (We call ourselves The Fly Girls, by the way). You might think I’m feeling great because, Whew!, at least you liked MY performance, right? Well, not exactly…..
It’s clear that you haven’t seen much modern burlesque or, for that matter, stripping. “Join the lofty ranks of…..strippers, whores…” you say. Lofty? Please. We all know that’s the most ghettoized profession out there, and truth be told, in strip clubs and whore houses you’re likely to see way more disempowered,marginalized women with about zero stage presence and even less self esteem, than righteous, feminist performers you allude to. So let’s just leave your intellectual romanticization of the sex industry aside, ok?, and examine the show you felt compelled to critique without even seeing the second act.
I honestly wonder if we were at the same show. My partner and I watched the first act from the balcony, having no idea what to expect from the amateurs, and found ourselves squealing in delight! So cute! So proud! We couldn’t believe how great all these newbies were doing! The amateur tone of it wasn’t the type of bad performance that makes the audience uncomfortable; it was endearing, and quite fun to watch.
I didn’t notice Lola get flustered at all; I saw a heckling asshole in the audience get addressed by a bad ass performer in the middle of her number. Pretty gutsy. “You can’t go wrong with pole dancing” you noted. Again, your inexperience in strip clubs and burlesque shows reveals your ignorance. Because you can go wrong with pole dancing, Very Very Wrong, and not only does Michelle Mynx not do it Wrong, there is no other solo pole performer I have EVER SEEN (and I’ve been around the pole block) that can hold a candle to the blindfolded number she did that night.
I wish you could get out more. Your perspective would improve drastically. Take good care, and maybe I’ll see you soon.
October 22nd, 2007 at 9:05 am
wow! I am the other stripy acrobat. What a great journey for myself to perform with wonderful folks and have so much fun at this show which made me proud to call St. Louis my home.
I left the next day at 5am to travel to NC for the Lake Eden Art Festival which was all about “One Love”. I just arrived home this morning at 1am. Now here I sit reading this blog feeling the presence of “one love” missing in these words on this blog.
“Open your eyes real wide! There is so much more to see then what is on the stage before you!!!!!!”
“All the artist did a great job!!!” To the artist out there who performed at this show please don’t let this negative comment on the blog be judgment on your art! Most important do not judge yourself! We all have gotten caught up in judging ourselves back stage after a performance. We need to be reminded to honor and respect ourselves for the creativity we share with others. I know there are some not so on days on the stage. I’ve fallen out on the stage and loved it! Because I learned for myself that you just get back up and go again. How great is that?!
“Ahhh, did you ever think about how hard we can judge ourselves backstage? Wow!”
My hat is off to Lola for putting this on and giving the space for new artist to perform for the first time. You were all great! What a feeling to have the opportunity to be on stage and perform for all your family & friends to see. My favorite part of the show was watching all of you come off the stage hugging someone who came out to watch your first performance and the smile on your face.
“Now this was a delight of it’s own and it was not even on stage!”
For the person who started this blog, I would like to see you view this from a different angle. Open your eyes even more wider. Ask yourself, what have you learned about yourself through all this. It doesn’t make the world a better place to judge others and the art they create. Art is a path for each individual from the thought of creation, to practice, to design, from backstage, to on stage, to back stage again. Let each artist travel their own journey and you discover what you have learned about yourself through thier art. Life is art! You are the artist as well. We all intertwined together in the art of life. Please do not judge but have gratitude for this life and each other. There is nothing wrong with expressing ones views. It’s how you express those views that makes the difference.
I am grateful to have my eyes open to see what I have learned about myself through all this. To see not just the wonderful performances on stage but all the emotions that came from our language of movement we created in one night at a show called, “St. Louis Burlesque Showcase”.
Thank you to all who came out and enjoyed the show. Even the ones who didn’t enjoy it as much…thank you for coming out. Keep your eyes open…..wider!
ps first time ever to comment on a blog and I’m not judging myself. it is what it is! thanks, pary
October 22nd, 2007 at 6:09 pm
Wow. I’ve been blogging for two years (this is my 2nd blog) and this is the FIRST time a topic has created such a stir (past topics include abortion, the death penalty, prostitution, atheism, bestiality, necrophilia, mental illness, and how stupid Republicans and Crocs are).
The passion is exciting, and I thank you all for your great points and for calling me on my shit. As you can see from my categories listed, “Vexed” is my #2 topic after “Eros” - that’s right, I’m a judgmental bitch who calls it like I see it. I don’t jump on bandwagons even if they’re hip. But I give credit where it’s due, as you can see in my #3 category, “Deserving.”
I’m absolutely willing and interested in taking in more burlesque shows around town and seeing if I need to change my tune, ESPECIALLY after all this passionate feedback and poking around a bit online as a result:
http://www.vidivodom.com/videoizle/hYCyzBReTII/lola-van-ella-performs-i-want-to-be-bad-.html
http://youtube.com/watch?v=cFDv2eQzGJw
http://youtube.com/watch?v=iRFujO0AXzs
I’ll be sure and get the name of the show/performers correct, since I’m apparently a professional critic and all (where’s my paycheck, dammit?)
I’ve been to a few Benchpress Burlesque shows http://www.thebeautifulkind.com/2006/11/24/how-i-spent-thanksgiving/
and those got me excited and turned on. I think I got off on all the smart social commentary and gender bending (isn’t Justicia from The Fly Girls part of that troupe?) I went to see Suicide Girls last Oct and wasn’t even inspired to blog about it.
And just so you know, I’ve worked three different sex industry jobs, including stripping, and I realize how easily women can be victimized in those situations, but as I got older I was able to see how powerful those women can be. It’s all in your attitude and the choices you make.
Will I end up eating my words? Will The Fly Girls entertain my musician dude’s offer to perform in a college setting? Will I EVER learn to dance? Stay tuned…
October 23rd, 2007 at 11:36 am
Honestly, at first I thought maybe TBK had been too hard on the show. But when I see the performers forming rebuttals that include long diatribes about their art and including meaningless word vomit such as “Life is art!”, I’m inclined to believe perhaps those criticized are suffering from the Even Losers Get A Trophy phenomenon in our society today. Just because you tried really hard and were passionate doesn’t mean you were good. It doesn’t mean you deserve praise. Look, maybe you were fabulous and TBK is full of shit. But a real artist who is concerned with perfecting his or her work and not the fuzzy bunny feelings of acclaim would take TBK’s complaints and use them as constructive guides on how to improve. Stop crying over one dissatisfied fan and absorb her suggestions. Being fulfilled by “good enough” will never make you a kick ass performer.
October 24th, 2007 at 7:21 am
Jen, If you read the TBK’s comment you would have known that she liked our show. I am one of the Fly Girls of the act that she did enjoy. There is no performer rebuttal with meaningless word vomit here. My comments were concerning performers who took the stage for the first time and, in my opinion, they were better than ‘good enough.’ Many of the other acts are seasoned performers who pull a crowd every time they perform. Just because one person doesn’t like the performance doesn’t change the fact that so many others did. We witnessed positive crowd reactions from the balcony during each number.
TBK, yes, Justicia was the founder of BenchPress Burlesque, and now we know where we remember your blog from!! Your distaste with the St. Louis Burlesque Showcase makes sense now…What a different show BenchPress is! It sounds like maybe you’re inclined towards more edgy, political theatre? Like you, we’re excited by the passionate discourse in this blog, and your thoughtful response. Thanks for mentioning your work in the sex industry; it lends perspective.
We’re intriqued by the ideas of your musician friend. To contact us with booking inquiries, musical proposals, hate mail, and love letters, email: stlouis.flygirls@gmail.com
July 28th, 2008 at 12:47 am
Welcome to burlesque! Tends, at times, to be a very supportive and protective bunch of folks, unlike most other performance arts where they just tend to tear each other apart (ever been around a bunch of comedians? Just nasty.) Of course, a lot of those are amateurs and are learning to perform. They usually don’t make money. That said, I kind of agree with you, too, attitude is everything and telling a story is everything and confidence is everything. They aren’t making fun of sexiness, they are supposed to be celebrating sexiness and having fun doing it. Jo “Boobs” Weldon wouldn’t tell you anything different. More on her and her school at http://schoolofburlesque.com/
Also, if they are bagging on strippers, they better check themselves and remember what is it they are actually doing. It ain’t all THAT different.