Dear Slut: Is This Guy Square?
Filed under: Ask The Slut - October 2, 2007 @ 4:47 am
Dear Slut,
I’ve been dating a new guy. After a few dates we ended up tumbling in bed. I’m not into having sex early in relationships, though I am into doing just about anything else early in a relationship. I let him know that I wasn’t going to go all the way with him right away.
He went down on me, I came, then I went down on him - something I really like to do to a guy. He was centimeters from coming; it was apparent, then he stopped me. WHY would a guy stop a girl blowing him at a critical point like this? I don’t get it.
Also, after he stopped me, I suggested we mutually masturbate and he wasn’t into it. Is he just square? I need to know now, before I do decide to have sex with him because I need a guy who’s open sexually and I’m worried that he isn’t.
Just Cum Already
Dear Frustrated,
First of all, let’s give him “ladies first” points and acknowledge that he was down with going down on you. That’s a biggie. Did you talk about sex ahead of time? I’m thinking maybe he wasn’t sure if he could cum in your mouth, and then when you suggested mutual masturbation, he was off his game and that might have even caught him off guard. Surprisingly, a lot of men have a hard time masturbating in front of someone, and it’s something they need to work through.
The first time I did the orgasm thing with my guy, I had mine and then casually asked if he wanted to get off, too. He said no, which I thought was weird. We talked about it later and it turns out my directness freaked him out, as well as the thought of jacking off in front of me - it was all new to him. That was five months ago. Now look at us - I have to wear protective goggles to bed for godsake.
I’m thinking your guy sounds considerate and hasn’t had the chance to get freaky, but lucky him, he met you. So have a nice talk over cocktails and find out what he likes, what he’s done, what was on his mind the other day, and give it another go. I think he has potential, but take it slow when introducing him to the good stuff and keep the lines of communication open. If he has trouble talking about sex, that’s a sign that he’s square and needs to be put out to the vanilla pasture. God I’m so proud of myself - I gave the dude the benefit of the doubt. Do report back with an update!
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October 2nd, 2007 at 8:59 am
Why would a guy NOT want to cum in his woman’s mouth? Since nothing in the world feels so fucking wonderful to most of us guys I frankly haven’t got a clue! I guess it’s just “different strokes for different folks”…to coin a cliche! As far as not wanting to finish himself off with his hand in front of someone, that’s no problem at all for me but I guess some guys are still shy on the subject of jacking off in front of someone…or even in private. “Me do that? Oh no!”. The dude might be square of maybe just a bit shy this early in the relationship. I would say give him some more time and talk about it by all means…or just call me and you won’t have problems in either of those two areas. Uhhh…what was the question again?
October 2nd, 2007 at 12:50 pm
Thanks, Slut (and Mike)! This advice came at the perfect time, as I have a date at my place with him again tonight. Talking it over, huh? Who knew! I’ll let you know what happens…
October 2nd, 2007 at 4:25 pm
You’re not into having sex early, but you had oral sex and proposed mutual masturbation? Perhaps you meant you’re not into intercourse early, but like to have sex early?
October 3rd, 2007 at 8:02 am
…my thoughts….
since he went down on you and made you cum, i’m sure he did so without pausing in a break, asking “ok, would you like to cum?”. I’m not sure if I get this but i can relate in the fact that guys don’t want to be serviced, we want to be wanted and desired, much like women. it’s a huge turn on to go down on a gal, and control her orgasm with your mouth and tongue. It’s very powerful for us guys (for me at least). The ideal is for the gal to then say, “I want to make you cum” or “i need to have you in my mouth” or substitute “have you in my mouth” with “taste you”. I just think sometimes guys are givers and are more comfortable not asking for it….like , if you have to ask for it, it’s not really the gal’s desire. Ok, that is a totally rambling, and likely non sensical response….but i gave it a shot, so to speak.
October 3rd, 2007 at 8:03 am
…then again, he was the one who stopped you…so he might not have been comfortable cumming in your mouth. After all, that is pretty intimate…maybe moreso than intercourse.