The Beautiful Kind

Here is why this guy is not hot:

1. He’s shaved.
2. He’s brown and beefy.
3. His skin has the texture of a Lil’ Smokie weiner.
4. His eyes are creepy.
5. He’s too muscular.
6. He’s on the cover of Playgirl.
7. He’s gay but selling out.
8. He’s seriously in love with his six pack.

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Here’s why this guy is hot:

1. He’s smart and funny.
2. He has a wicked sense of humor, including making fun of himself.
3. He’s down to earth.
4. He has that scruffy beard.
5. He’s holding a cat.
6. His name is Zach.
7. His website links to Save Darfur.
8. He does yard work.

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Here’s why this guy is hot:

1. He’s Harry Fucking Houdini.
2. His real name is Ehrich Weiss, which is hot and Jewish.
3. He died on Halloween.
4. He’s all suave and vintage.
5. He was a skeptic, routinely debunking psychics and mediums.
6. He could escape from straitjackets and chains and shit, sometimes underwater or suspended upside down from a tall building.
7. He had a heavy accent.
8. He was an amazing magician - he once made a full grown elephant disappear.