The Beautiful Kind

- You see a fleet of bicyclists, all fit and in spandex, helmets, sunglasses, and you fantasize about having a bicycle gang bang - and you don’t even like riding a bike.

- You see a group of shirtless high school boys running down the street, practicing for track or something, and feel the urge to have a teenage gang bang with them - even though they don’t even have any hair on their chests yet.

- Teenage girls wash your car at the local gas station and you think dirty thoughts about the one with the red hair, tank top, and short shorts.

- You think lewd thoughts about your sexy Jewish vet, even as he diagnoses your cat with irritable bowel syndrome.

- You ponder playing doctor with your kid’s sexy Jewish pediatrician, even as he diagnoses her with an earache. And his kids go to the same school she does.

- You go to dinner with other moms and you stare at their cleavage and judge which ones are MILFs and wonder what their sex lives are like with their husbands…or others?