The Beautiful Kind

Dear Slut,
My question is about the adult “dating” sites. I see your site now has profiles on the right side of the page from AdultFriendFinder. Are these types of sites any good? I’ve read some sites reviews that say there are a lot of fake ads/profiles, but other sites do claim success. What would be the keys to success on these sites? Have you ever tried them with any success?
- Not Looking For Love

Dear We Know What You’re Looking For,
If your question is, “Will giving my money to sites like these connect me to hot, kinky, sexy, women who will do just about anything?” the short answer is NO. But if you’re in it because you’re a pervert and hopeful and curious and might whack off to some of the profile content and consider actually meeting someone sane a bonus but aren’t counting on it, well sure, it’s worth a try.

I’ve met a lot of men, women and couples online and have had great success, including from AdultFriendFinder. But it helps that I represent what most people are looking for - see above. Every guy I met from AFF told me it was terribly disappointing (besides meeting me of course) and that they did not intend to renew their membership. You have to wade through a lot of bullshit and liars, which takes time. But there are real people out there who just want casual sex and are not disgusting or crazy.

If you’re looking for human interaction and exploring sex but not a long term/monogamous commitment, I would recommend trying a free site like Craigslist or myspace. Put right on your ad/profile what you are looking for, but when you contact people you’re interested in, don’t be all skeezy about it. Treat them as a friend, an equal, and with respect. Be open and honest. I really do like the term “friend with benefits.”

Another thing I notice is that men have ridiculously high standards when it comes to women (young, gorgeous, thin, big boobs, flexible, able to deep throat beer cans), despite the fact that the men are not exactly brilliant, stylish, smoking hot package themselves. Be sure you’ve got what it takes to be desirable, and be prepared to provide good photos of yourself if that’s what you expect in turn.

Ask your female friends for their opinion on what women like or which of your pics are flattering - for some reason men are clueless when it comes to knowing which pics will appeal to women. And if you’re not photogenic, take a bunch of pics to capture the right look - HINT: warm, inviting, sexy, as opposed to menacing, indifferent, or psychotic. I’m serious! Look at some of the photos people have on their profiles - there’s no excuse in this day and age to have blurry or grainy mug shots. Oh, and ditch the cock shots - in the initial getting-to-know-you phase, women would rather see your face or chest.

Send your kinky questions to love [at] thebeautifulkind . com