The Beautiful Kind

In addition to my game of collecting imaginary people as friends (I’m friends with Beethoven, Cookie Monster, Darwin, and of course, EDGAR), I have a new, subtle psychological game I like to play on myspace.

Everyone has their share of ex’es as friends, and the insecure ones will keep an eye on their page. So I like to post slightly flattering comments on other people’s profiles, nothing outrageous, just something clever and possibly with double meaning. Such as, “I love how you hold that fiddle.” Or, “You should start up a program with Nelly that teaches urban kids how to play poker.”

Turns out some people actually read other people’s profiles - study them! and see my comment and go on alert and then investigate my profile and interrogate the person - it’s great! It helps if you’re attractive, as you pose more of a threat. You only know the game was successful when the person you posted the comment about comes to you and says, “So [insecure and jealous ex] saw your comment on my page and wants to know what your thing with sock monkeys is all about.” hahahahaha!

PS: My sister showed me MyDeathSpace, a site that pairs recent obituaries and articles with the deceased’s myspace profile. It totally creeps me out, as the deaths are for the most part tragic and untimely. Which leads me into

MORBID WEEK. All this week I will be posting heebie jeebie entries. I need a break from all the sex. And nothing is more arousing than a bit of death - by the end of this week I’ll be so turned on from facing my own mortality I’ll be humping couches. Preferably not the kind fashioned from dead cow skin.