The Beautiful Kind

I went to the mall with my kid and some friends who are brand new parents. I let my kid run around the enclosed play area and whenever she got out of sight my new parent friends would fret for her safety.

However, I’ve learned the mall is a much more dangerous place for sock monkey kidnappings. I set Penny down to pose her with Big Bird and some girl came up and snatched her! I called mall security and was in the process of having the girl cuffed and pressing charges, but let it drop upon hearing her reasoning for such reckless behavior (”Sock monkeys are irresistible!”) Get yer own, kid.